20. Improviso Revelationem

 

Improviso Revelationem: "Unexpected Revelation"

 

 

 

"There are truths that I shouldn't know..."

 

 

She was shocked by the improviso revelationem.

 

 

"... but no secret can be kept forever."

 

 

 

= = = Soundtrack: Jay Park - Abandoned = = =

 

"Let's bring this outside the battlefield."

 

To me, Kai-sshi's voice overpowered all other sounds in the battle area as he said those words, and I followed his actions as he stepped back and led all four of us outside Club Mirage's premises.

 

When we had gotten to the unoccupied lot beside the club, we all broke out of our stances and re-pointed our guns. Chanho Oppa had his gun pointed to L.Joe-sshi, while he had had his gun pointed to me. My gun was facing Kai-sshi, while his gun was pointed to my brother.

 

"Now. What is this thing we're fighting about?" Kai-sshi asked all of us, but no one dared to speak. All three of us were waiting for our target's next move.

 

"If no one answers me, I'll send a bullet towards the head of the second leader of ReapedSouls." He threatened, but I gripped my gun in pure rage.

 

"Try that on my brother, and I'll send a bullet through yours." I taunted, smirking when Kai-sshi winced at my acidic tone.

 

"Don't worry, Dearie. The moment you do that, you'd be following Kai-yah pretty soon." L.Joe-sshi jokingly remarked, and a hiss of anger escaped me as I glared at him momentarily.

 

"But before I die, I'll make sure I shoot you bastard as well." Chanho Oppa muttered, his gaze directed to L.Joe-sshi.

 

Everyone was still, even though the sounds of the ongoing brotherhood war still echoed near us.

 

The silence among us was excruciating.

 

A few moments in, and I couldn't take it anymore. 

 

I pointed my gun towards one of the trees and shot, distracting everybody. That was when I managed a kick to L.Joe-sshi's stomach, disorienting him. Kai-sshi had his arms wrapped around me after that attack, and I elbowed him to release me.

 

He did, and at that, I saw my brother charge towards L.Joe-sshi, his fist stretched out. The latter did the same...

 

...and everything turned blurry.

 

The next moment, I caught myself engaging Kai-sshi in hand-to-hand combat. 

 

Despite my moves to try and outlast Kai-sshi, my eyes caught sight of Chanho Oppa striking L.Joe-sshi to the ground, and as much as I didn't want to be... I got distracted.

 

Kai-sshi managed to bind me in a restraining stance, not letting either of us move, and I just stared at what was happening between my brother and his opponent.

 

= = =

 

"That was for pushing Shiyeon-ah down the stairs." Chanho Oppa said before stepping on his opponent's chest, and with the name mentioned by my brother, L.Joe-sshi's eyes widened.

 

"No way. You must be..." He began, stunned, but he was cut off by the next words from Chanho Oppa.

 

"...one of Shiyeon-ah's older brothers."

 

My world blanked out.

 

What?!

 

I thought I was their sister?!

 

"If it wasn't because of your idiotic actions, bastard, Seunhyun Hyung and I still would have had a sister!" He shouted before kicking L.Joe-sshi in the stomach.

 

I couldn't comprehend the situation.

 

Ever since I could understand and remember, Chanho Oppa and Seunghyun Oppa kept on telling me that I am their one and only sister. As I grew up, I started to get curious about my parents, but they both said to me the same thing.

 

"Our parents died in a car accident, Shirin-ah. We were with them during that time, but we three were the only ones who survived."

 

They kept drilling this information into my head, that's why I never asked them about it again.

 

But as I look back now at the life I have had then, I realized that we never went to a grave... nor celebrated any birthdays of our parents. Even their death anniversary was unknown to me.

 

"You were the cause of all the misfortunes that befell my family. Do you know hard it was for both Hyung-ah and me to live without our precious yeodongsaeng?!" Chanho Oppa asked, pure rage evident in his voice as he kicked L.Joe-sshi again. The latter was already out of breath and unable to talk back, but it seemed like Oppa didn't mind it.

 

He just kicked him again before speaking.

 

"Ever since Shiyeon-ah's death, both Hyung and I changed. We never let anything regarding you, our TRUE sister's playmate, mix with ANYTHING related to the Song Family. Good thing, though, that Shirin-ah entered our lives. We finally had seen Shiyeon-ah again in her form. But everyday, the pain that you instilled in both my life and Seunghyun Hyung's life still remains, punk!"

 

I couldn't take it anymore, that's why I shouted and tried to get Chanho Oppa's attention.

 

"CHANHO OPPA!"

 

That was when my older brother turned around to face me, and just like a frantic person that has been snapped out of his hysteria, his eyes widened and his breath got caught in his throat. 

 

It was just like he realized, only on that moment, that I was actually with him in this... and that he had said something that he shouldn't have.

 

"Is it true, Oppa? Am I really... not a Song?" I asked, tears building up in my eyes.

 

I waited for Chanho Oppa's answer, and in that moment of his silence, I broke free of Kai-sshi's hold. I managed a few steps towards my... supposed brother's direction.

 

Please tell me that it's a lie, Chanho Oppa. Tell me that I really am your sister, not some Song Shiyeon or anyone else.

 

I wanted to believe that it's me who is your flesh and blood. But it was undeniable.

 

Especially when you nodded your head as an answer.

 

I held out a hand to touch Chanho Oppa's face. But the pang of betrayal coursed through my veins at such a high speed that it changed me in a split second. Thus, the contact my palm made with his face was that of a hard slap.

 

"How could you...?!" I asked, my voice hoarse and deep. Tears spilled over from my eyes, but I made no move to wipe them away. Chanho Oppa just had his head hung low, and no words were coming out of his lips.

 

I couldn't believe it.

 

"How could you keep this from me for so long?! Both you and Seunghyun Oppa... lied to me..!" I screamed as I pushed Chanho Oppa with all the strength I could muster. He swayed to the force of my hands, but he still wasn't speaking.

 

Tears rolled down his cheeks as well, but it had no effect against the enormous pain stabbing my chest.

 

My whole life was a lie. 

 

My whole family was a lie.

 

My whole being was nothing more than a made up identity fabricated by Song Chanho and Song Seunghyun.

 

I was never Song Shirin.

 

I was never anyone I thought I was.

 

"You weren't supposed to know this..." Chanho Oppa whispered, but I heard it perfectly well, and I cut him off with my voice overflowing with acidity.

 

"But you revealed it to me anyway!"

 

Tears continued their path down my face, and my hands balled themselves into fist at my anger. I clenched my jaws, trying hard to make the hatred in my heart dissipate, but it did nothing to ease the hurt in me.

 

"In the first place, I wasn't Song Shirin, then. There was NEVER a Song Shirin, was there?!" I angrily asked Chanho Oppa, letting my frame succumb to the sobs that had been eating at me ever since my tears overflowed.

 

It was like my legs lost all their strength and I fell down on my knees, with only the cold ground soaking up the salty liquid from my eyes. I couldn't look at Chanho Oppa in the eye. I couldn't bear to even just gaze at him.

 

"Is it proper that I still call you 'Oppa' then? Or should I call you Chanho-sshi, since there never was anything between us, huh?!" I exclaimed to the ground, not having courage left to ask it to his face.

 

"I'm sorry, Shirin-ah. I really am..." Chanho Oppa said brokenly as he tried to approach me. I felt it.

 

But right now, I abhor him and anything that concerns him and is related to him.

 

When I felt his hand graze the skin of my arms, I threw his hand away.

 

"Don't touch me."

 

I didn't know anything anymore, since my whole life and being is a lie. I don't know who I am anymore, and I didn't know where to start after all this. I couldn't go back to my previous life, for I don't think I could live another person's life... that wasn't meant for me anyways. I couldn't start again with a different identity, for I don't know anything regarding who I really am.

 

"Since there never was a Song Shirin, then I will take the first name. I'll bear that as my identity. But don't expect me to recognize you as my relatives. You were NEVER my brothers..." I muttered, before daring to look at Chanho Op---Chanho-sshi with fierce eyes and standing up to walk away.

 

When I looked around, L.Joe-sshi and Kai-sshi had already escaped, and it was only this man and me left.

 

And since throughout these past few moments, I have grown contempt for him and his older brother, I realized that I couldn't be in the same space with him.

 

So I proceeded to walk away, my pace steady at first. But the pain began to eat away at me, and I increased my steps not long after. I knew I just had to get away from here, and from the identity I thought was my own.

 

Not only was my resolve and emotional well-being shattered.

 

But even my past and all I think I am... is now pulverized.

 

= = = = = 

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