I couldn’t bring myself to sleep that night. Each time I tried to fall into a deep slumber and clear my mind, all I could think of was what he had done to me, what he had planned on doing to me. The memories couldn’t help themselves but replay constantly, the pain rushing back to me, tears streaming down my face.

I was disgusted. I was frightened. I was ashamed. What if I hadn’t been as strong willed as I was? Would he have had the chance to take advantage of me? Would he have played with me as if I was a toy and then thrown me out once I had become broken? I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know.

General Nichkhun Horvejkul was a cruel man, and this was only the beginning. I was only just starting to feel his wrath and brutality. I wanted to mentally prepare myself for what else he was planning but I had the feeling that he was the kind of man who would trick me and tease me, and I would never know what he would have in his mind for me when I would enter his room again.

Only time was going to tell what more he could do.



*****
 

I awoke to the warm rays of sunlight, warming the skin beneath it‘s rays. The sound of movement disturbed my ears as I tried to sleep even more, before the soldiers would come for us and break the serenity that encompassed the room. I didn’t know what time it was or how long I had been asleep. We didn‘t have access to any clocks; we were supplied with less than basic necessities, barely enough to keep us going and make us feel like we were still human. We were prisoners, we were nothing to them, and they were going to do as much as they could to show us that.

If we were still in our mansion, the maids would have woken me. They knew exactly when to come to my room and tell me to get ready for breakfast, all under my mother’s exact orders. She would always make sure that I had 8 hours sleep, no more, no less. I couldn’t remember a single day where I would be able to lie in my bed, in the comfort of all of my blankets. She said it wasn’t lady-like to oversleep and be lazy, even if I wasn’t much of a lady.
 

“Get up! Today is a busy day!” The soldiers paraded through the building dragging us to work, roughly pulling and dragging other women out of their bunks and expecting the rest of us to follow suit or face the consequences.

I kept my eyes forced close; I hadn’t returned until very late the night before and I couldn’t sleep even in the state I was in, even with the amount of exhaustion I was feeling. I wanted to lie there in that warmth for as long as I could, before they could tear me away from the only comfort that I had. There was a tossing and turning by my side, and I could hear the rustle of the thin fabrics, before a shriek tore through the silence and serenity that I was encompassed in.

 
“Saki, where’s all your hair?” a voice asked as I slowly blinked my eyes open. I glanced up to meet familiar beady eyes which stared at me in astonishment and shock.

Trying to hide the tears forming in my eyes, I was suddenly reminded of the previous night where the General had shorn all of my hair, leaving me with only small dark tufts to guard my scalp. I wouldn’t have been able to explain what had happened to someone like her, a small child like Mei. For one, the General warned me of telling anyone about what he was doing with me but she was also no more than 4, too young to understand the ways of the world that we lived in and if I told her something bad had happened, I would only upset her. She’d already lost a mother and I didn’t want her to think she would lose me either. We were going to have to stick together in that place no matter what. She was my priority and I wouldn’t let anything tear us apart.
 

“Oh, my hair was getting in my eyes so I had to cut it all,” I managed to stifle an excuse out of thin air as she stared up at me, waiting for me to answer. I was just hoping she would take that for an answer and wouldn’t ask any more questions. I was not prepared to answer any other questions, god knew what I could say.
 

Burying her face in my shoulder, I cradled her in my arms as she began to cry. A flood of tears gushed down her pale cheeks, staining and dampening my dress. The other woman glanced over at us curiously at the sound of her whimpering, their eyes also widening in shock at my appearance. I began to think it was worse than I had first thought. Was it really that bad or was I forcing myself to believe so?


“Don’t worry, it’s only hair. I won’t let anyone cut yours off, don’t worry,” I reassured her as I rocked her back and forth.

I could see flocks of women quickly rush outside, having heard the soldiers’ earlier announcement and warning. I didn’t want to get into any more trouble than I had already found myself in, I didn’t want to be the one who was most likely going to aggravate those soldiers. If General Nichkhun had managed to do what he wanted then there was no telling what others were capable of.
 

 …….

I managed to stop her cries and quickly get her up, rushing outside before I could be deemed a trouble maker for holding everyone up. The soldiers were moving everyone into single rows, harshly tugging and pulling at arms, dragging people as if they were no more than animals. Nobody could say anything to them, fight for their rights after the display that had been made the day earlier. We managed to make it there in time but the sight of General Nichkhun standing on the podium before all of us made me feel uneasy and sick. Could it be his plans for me the evening before that had left a sickly feeling in my stomach? Or the fact that he still enjoyed the view of me without all of my hair as a consequence for my actions?


“As you were told yesterday, your time here will be far from easy. You’ll each be given a job and if that job isn’t done to standard then… let’s just say you’ll be in a lot of trouble,” the Lieutenant said. He looked uncomfortable saying all of those things, the Lieutenant, his crystalline blue eyes filled with worry and regret. He didn’t seem like one to enjoy the misfortune that his words brought.

The General watched us all with hawk-like eyes, searching for prey, almost like he was searching for me. As his eyes scanned over the many faces, they sharply darted in my direction and I held my head down as he directed his gaze at me. With one look into his laughing eyes, I would have been in tears any second.

 
Mei clung closer to me as they soldiers called people forward, taking names and giving out jobs. They were to take a roll-call every morning, making sure that everyone was there. Anyone who wasn’t there was to be assumed dead, there was no chance we were ever going to escape with the barbed wire fences, walls 30 feet tall surrounding the large compound with deposited guards patrolling them at all times. After roll-call, we would be given a small meal, then ushered off to work for god knows how long, working until they thought we had done enough - they had not made clear what exactly ‘enough’ was. I just hoped that I would be able to keep Mei with me as I did my job. She only had me and I wasn’t going to leave the young child to have to fend for herself.

My thoughts drifted back to my mother and father who would have probably no idea of my whereabouts or if I had even disappeared. For all I knew, they could have still been in the Capital without a clue that I had been kidnapped. I wondered how they would react when they entered our new home, when they would see all the upturned furniture, the shattered vases and small ornaments, my empty bedroom.

It seemed as though an eternity had passed as I patiently waited for my turn. Each second dragged on while person after person stepped towards the tables they had set out and approached the seated soldier, leaving for elsewhere while the rest of us waited in anticipation. It was worrying not knowing what they would say or do - they could be so unpredictable at times and it was terrifying.

I slowly inched closer towards the front of the line until Mei and I were right at the front. The General was making his way round all of the tables as if he wanted to make sure everyone was doing there job correctly. At the moment I was called over, the General strode towards the waiting soldier and whispered something to him, and though he didn’t turn to look at me, I felt like I could sense what he had said.

I walked over cautiously.


“Name?” they asked as they looked up at me with cold, intimidating eyes, resembling those of the rest of the soldiers around the area. I’m sure he also found my appearance to be amusing as he let out a low chuckle at the sight of me. I tried to ignore him but the anger that I had suppressed was building up inside of me. I clenched my fist and tried to let it go - arguing with these South  Korean soldiers wasn’t going to do anything for me but put me in my death bed.


“I’m Victoria Song and this is  Mei,” I replied, pulling Mei closer to me and squeezing her hand for support as she trembled in fear in front of him. ‘Private Konohamaru Sarutobi‘, his name tag read as he looked down and I could take a closer look at him. With a youthful face and dark tufts of hair that peeked out from beneath his hat, he had no resemblance to the average soldier except from the eyes that had turned cold and lifeless from the war. He seemed younger than most, if not all of those men, and I couldn’t help but feel some pity towards him - he looked like he had been forced there at no choice of his own. 

“Lucky for you, you will have Kitchen duties. If you are incapable of working there then we can find something more suitable,” Konohamaru announced, tapping his pen against the wooden table as he handed me a card, its contents informing me of my new job.

It seemed like an easier job than what I had assumed I would have been receiving at first. I thought I would have to do something of heavy manual labour, that would have required a lot of strength - something which I didn’t have. I almost felt relieved, but then the thought of even having a job, when I had never had to work for anything in my life, seemed so foreign and I couldn’t help but feel a surge of worry rush through me. Cooking was not my forte. The word ‘job’ didn’t even exist in my vocabulary. I’d never cooked in my life. I was in trouble, in hell, and I was only starting to properly realise it.
 

“Take her with you,” he added and Mei followed suit after me. I took hold of her hand once again as I tried to look for the location of the Kitchen where I was to work. Somehow, the thought of the General came to mind as I looked around, trying to come to terms with my new situation. Could it be that he had requested for me to get the ‘easy’ job in the kitchen?
 

No. No chance. Private Konohamaru must have just pitied me the same way that I did for him and found an easier job in the pile of sheets he held in his hands. General Nichkhun was pure evil in human form.

*****
 

I stood in the centre of the kitchen without an idea of what I was meant to be doing. I had entered the room around an hour earlier to find a few other women already there, rushing around as if they had already been shown what to do, but I hadn’t been told anything since I had arrived. They had continued to do their work, rushing around without even acknowledging my existence and Mei, she had joined in with the other few children, who sat in a small circle in one corner of the room, and was talking animatedly the dance classes she took back home in China. All I could do was listen to her words, my eyes following the actions of the girls around me.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed and as if I had already adapted to this horrible place, I could sense what the change meant.

I hung my head, trying my best to stay out of his line of sight as the soldier walked through the group, observing everyone as they completed the tasks given. I was hoping that he would have merely glanced over us and left us behind to do something better with his time, but he made sure to check every one of us and I already knew. Before he had even noticed me, before his eyes burned holes through me, I knew. I was going to anger him, and I didn’t know how to avoid it.

“Shouldn’t you be doing something?” He aksed from behind me. I lifted my head slightly, finding him glaring at me with displeasure. I decided to stay quiet, not answer his question. I could never find the right words to say, and whatever ones I did, they always seemed to increase their anger even further.

“Are you deaf? Answer my question!”

“Yes,” I forced out my lips, frightened. “I don’t know what to do,” I muttered quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear me, wishing he would leave. He remained in the same position but his anger intensified at the sound of my response. I could tell from the burning in his eyes, the clenching of his fingers as they curled into his palm. He threw his fist down on the counter as he turned to me once more.
 

“You don’t know what job you’re doing! Any job would be fine! Stop making yourself a useless !” He growled angrily, the intensity of his voice blowing the short strands from my face.

He leaned down until I could meet his eyes, still fuelled with a dark anger, and stared at me. He just stared at me, right through me, as if he was trying to work out something about me storming out of the room as he caught the rest of the girls off guard. My cheeks flushed to a bright red in embarrassment and I could feel their eyes burning holes through my back as they stared at me. Day Two and I was already on the bad side of the majority of people. I supposed Mei would remain my only friend.

 
Lifting some kitchen utensils, I began to copy the other girls while they peeled the potatoes and made soup. Seeing the food only made me realise how hungry I really was as I was greeted by the familiar feeling of hunger in my stomach. I would have died in starvation if I didn’t eat soon.


*****

 

The same soldier from the night before came back to get me again, standing at the door and calling out my name. It felt like he was giving me a death sentence. There was no way that I would have wanted to have to spend more time with the General, especially after what he had tried to do to me the night earlier and the pain he made me feel. Havign my hair cut off like that, so ragged and dishevelled, made me feel as though I had lost part of myself, my femininity, my beauty.

“Song!” He yelled, a strong harshness evident in the roars of his voice.

Mei turned to me, and asked in worry, “Saki, do you have to go?”

I nodded my head in agreement - I really had no other choice but to follow the commands given. I pat the top of her head reassuringly before I walked through row after row of bunks to reach the soldier who had already left the building. Glancing back at her as I inched the door open, I was hesitant to leave her alone again, to leave her thinking that something bad would happen to me. I unconsciously took a step out into the darkness, the cold air rushing towards me as I retreated to following the soldier once more with no idea whether I was going to be able to return.
 

He cast his eyes upon me and I could hear his snigger, his stifled laugh at my appearance as he lead me along the same route, down the same hallway to the same General who would be waiting for me at the end of the corridor. He could have thought and acted the way he wanted, he could laugh at me for as long as he could, and there was nothing that I was able to do but withstand his laughter. I was nothing to these people, just a useless prisoner. I was worth nothing.

We neared the end of the corridor, my feet dragging against the vinyl floors as his grip tightened on my arms and pulled me forward, sensing my reluctance to enter through the large oak door just moments away. I was going to receive my death sentence, I could just feel it, and the door was the only barrier that kept Death away.
 

My heart pounded loudly in my chest as the soldier’s fist rapped quickly against the door. I was praying that General Nichkhun wasn’t there, that I could be sent back to the others in his absence and live another day.

To my misfortune, the door shot open and there he stood, with a smirk clear upon his lips. He took a single step to the side, and before I could even prepare myself, the soldier shoved me forward into the room as he did the night earlier and I stumbled in my steps, falling straight to the ground.

 
“Nice of you to finally join me,” his deep voice broke through the eerie silence of the room. I shot up from my position on the ground at the sound of his words, brushing the dirt off of my dress. His dark orbs showed pleasure with my actions as our eyes met, pleased that I understood what would have happened if I didn’t follow his commands.
 

I looked down at the ground for a few moments, mentally trying to prepare myself for what was going to happen next, what he was planning, my head quickly lifting at the rustle of fabrics and the sound of movements. I didn’t want him to catch me off guard.

My eyes darted back and forth as I searched for him within the room, expecting for him to have been behind me but I found him in the corner of the room sitting in a nonchalant manner upon his bed, his fingers flicking through the book within his hands. He paid no attention to that book, however, his eyes glued onto my figure as we both watched each other. The tie had been loosened from around his neck; the top button of his dress shirt was ed. The stench of alcohol no longer remained and I felt somewhat relieved, inhaling the fresh air around me. He wasn’t intoxicated so he should have been more sane.

 

“Are you waiting for some kind of invitation? Come here,” He called me over, his eyes not daring to tear away from mine. He lifted his hand and patted his lap as a gesture that he wanted me to sit with him. He wanted me to get closer to him, I mused, slowly inching my feet closer to him as he waited for me with cold, devious orbs.

“Come on. I won’t bite,” he spoke gently. Oh, of course he wouldn’t.
 

His tone didn’t resemble the one of the evil General who had hurt me before as he put on his kind, gentle façade to lure me into his trap. I held a strong, confident look on my face as I moved even closer until my back pressed against his chest, and I sat on his lap, so vulnerable. He was so much bigger than me that I fell dwarfed against his large form, so small like a child. His acting made me shudder inside, continuing to make me feel uncomfortable. Any second he could have pounced on me like an animal and fulfilled his ‘needs’.
 

“There are some things you need to know about being in this place and that is why I’ve brought you here tonight.”


“What do you mean? Like rules?” I asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. I tried to stay polite and patient in his company, knowing that the bastard would probably be holding me hostage for at least and hour of two. I didn’t want that evening to have ended in the same state as the one earlier. He could have been planning so much worse for me though only time would have told what those plans were.


“You could say they are rules,” a low chuckle escaped from his lips as if he was holding his own private joke, “First thing, just call me Nichkhun. ’General’ or ’Sir’ makes me sound so old.”

“Nichkhun,” I whispered as though I had just learned how to speak.

“Second - follow every thing that people like me say here – not everyone is as nice as I am to you people,” I questioned whether there was any sarcasm within his voice. He couldn’t have been serious. If the General could have been deemed as someone who was nice, then I must have been some kind of saint.
 

His right hand settled upon my thigh in a nonchalant manner, rubbing against my exposed skin as the heat of his palm was transferred into my skin. He didn’t seem to act as if this was a big deal, treating it as if it was some kind of normal situation. I supposed this was the manner that I was to be treated in as his personal ‘toy’, subjected to dealing with his ual frustrations that he had suppressed inside.

But why did it have to be me? Why couldn’t he have chosen someone else?


“Do your job properly,” he started once more, his voice dropped into a whisper as he leaned his head closer. “Don’t give my soldiers any reason to want to kill or hurt you. I gave you that job so even you wouldn’t be able to find a way of hurting yourself. Others weren’t so lucky. I can’t demand favours if you can barely move to provide such things for me.”

I began to think that he had only told me those things for his own good. Of course, that was it. He had no real intention of offering me help and advice, he was merely helping himself. A toy that hadn’t been used as much was much better than one that breaking at the seams, missing parts. Yet nonetheless, his words could have been useful in the future.


There was a thick silence in the air, so silent that I could hear his breaths, as his chest rose and then dropped back down again and again. His hand reached further, his fingers brushing against my inner thigh and I already knew what else he wanted to do to me. I could feel him reaching further, his slender fingers looping through the band of my underwear, as I bit down on my lower lips, struggling within his arms as he pressed his free hand against my mouth. It was only then that I realised that he had somehow trapped my hands so I couldn’t fight back again.

He was going to get what he wanted and I couldn’t stop him, the tears stinging in my eyes. Nothing could. Except from a deep grumble that managed to escape from my stomach.

He stopped in his tracks, removing his hands from my body as another rumble managed to break through the silence we were surrounded in. “Oh, so we’re hungry, are we?” He asked, his lips extremely close to my ear, breath warm against my skin.

I nodded my head. I hadn’t eaten since before I had arrived there - that had been days ago - and I was starting to feel myself grow painstakingly thin.

“You’re supposed to eat what we give you here.”

“I couldn’t eat that,” I mumbled, my voice almost soundless.

It was true. I couldn’t. The bread they’d given us earlier was soggy, it looked as if it was almost starting to mould. The soup, gruel, whatever it was that we had also received, wasn’t any more edible. They couldn’t have expected us to eat that! But they did. We weren’t going to receive anything else. I wasn’t expecting anything luxurious, just something edible and they couldn’t even do that.

“Hn, sorry everything doesn’t meet your standards, princess. This is the real world. If you don’t eat it, you’ll starve yourself to death,” he spat harshly, shoving me off of him and to the ground.

I shot him a dark glare, struggling to lift myself up in my weak state. He was right though. In the next few days, my body would be feeding off stored fat for energy. My liver would then start to panic and produce harmful chemicals until I would start consuming my own muscle and organs so I could be given some energy. It was such a horrible, painful way to die.

“You’ve had enough for today,” the sudden quality of his words surprised me, throwing me back a few moments. “Go back to the others. I’ll see you tomorrow and do remember you are mine. If you do something wrong, I can make you feel pain and you’ll learn your lesson just like last time,” Nichkhun hissed sternly as he dragged me away, shoving me out of the door and into the bitter cold hallway. All the heat from my body escaped into the air, a shiver running along the length of my spine as the cold hit my exposed skin. 


“Don’t think that I can’t do anything worse than cut off your hair. I have much more in store for you. Now get lost!” he roared, slamming the door shut as I stood watching him in a daze. As I was broken from my trance, I turned away from the door and returning down the long corridor to the others. And he said he was nicer than the rest.