Summer turns into fall in the blink of an eye. Leaves change colors, and they begin to fall off trees, gathering in yards all around the world. The rakes are pulled out to right that mess, though. Tank tops and shorts are put away, and long sleeve shirts and jeans are taken out of their dusty boxes. People prepare for Thanksgiving and (depending on what side of the world you are on) football season. After a trip to the states, Yunho and his new fiancée really got into the sport. They even introduced it to me. I say it’s just a bunch of huge morons running into each other.

Speaking of his new fiancée, she’s awfully sweet. I can’t think of another girl as kind and as thoughtful as her. She used to live in Pusan, but when she and Yunho started dating she found a job in Seoul and moved here so she could be closer to her boyfriend. I guess things really clicked between them, which might explain why one day he shows up at my apartment with her, a huge rock on her hand. All I could think about was how he came by the money to afford that thing. I mean, really! It was huge!

School started up again for both me and Jaejoong. His girlfriend is a total and complete sweetheart (how the boys managed to snag good gals, I’ll never know) and her positive attitude meant a lot of changes to his playboy ways. He dated me and around twenty other girls during senior year before finding her and going all ga-ga over her. Anyway, her family owns some property in the Islands, so that is where he’ll be spending Fall Break. Talk about being whipped.

My parents decided to move into a slightly smaller penthouse downtown, around a few blocks from where the university was. It was still spacious for the two of them: a three-bedroom, two bath penthouse overlooking Downtown Seoul. The spare bedroom was used for guests, or whenever I decided my apartment was too far from school and crashed there for the night or weekend.

College is high school without the drama. Seriously! When I was a senior, you couldn’t turn a corner without running headfirst into breakups, fights, and people on drugs. When I walk around the campus, I like taking great big gulps of air. It reminds me that college students really couldn’t care less about drama. Well, except maybe the drama majors, but they only pretend to be dramatic. Actually, some of them are to begin with, but…oh, you get the point.

The landlord, Mr. Ohtsugi, basically dropped my rent once he found out I had started college. He pestered me about giving me all previous collections back, but I refused steadfastly because I am too nice of a person and taking back money really screws with my conscious. Still, he persisted, and I eventually gave into some of his gifts. He bought me all new furniture, a new stove and fridge, and helped me pay for new countertops. With my own money, I bought a lot of decorations and such for the kitchen and living room.

Of course I didn’t forget about my Cassie. She had herself a nice kitty bed to sleep in every night, although she preferred curling up on my pillow. Surprisingly, she didn’t scratch up the new couch when it came in, nor the new chairs and new dining table. She did, however, mercilessly beat every toy I got her. Her favorite was a weird-looking stuffed mouse. The thing had lopsided ears and a huge nose. It looked like a dork mouse.

With the new furniture came new clothes. More accurately, clothes that fit my ever expanding stomach.

I swear, I check my stomach once every morning before I go to school. It’s growing bigger and bigger, but the thing is…it’s noticeable. REAL NOTICEABLE. Like, I fit into a pair of size three jeans one week, and the next it’s size five. Are babies even supposed to grow this fast? I’m technically two months along, but it looks more like six or seven. Maybe my baby is magical, like Hermione Granger. It would be cool if she was smart as a whip.

Yes, she. As in, my baby is a girl.

Jaejoong and my mother went insane with baby clothes and toys and everything else they could lay their hands on. My baby shower wasn’t an extravaganza, but from the amount of gifts I received, you’d think it had been attended by a hundred people. I especially loved the crib Yunho bought me. The mobile had cute baby bunnies and deer hanging from it, and the blanket my mom made me had a huge baby bunny sewn on it.

All in all, autumn really was a wonderful season.

Still, sometimes I’d find myself sitting on my bed, gazing longingly at the mural.

No matter how much time passed, it would always amaze me that no one ever asked if it was my handiwork. It’s like they know I didn’t do it, but they also don’t want to know who did it. The artwork that was mine hung on the walls, but nothing was ever put on the wall that held my sketches of my five best friends. The night after Junsu and Yoochun had left, they had been miraculously filled in with color, making them look more like blown-up photos than artwork.

I had an inkling who was responsible for all of it, but I wasn’t about to stop Him.

Every night before I went to bed, I knelt down and whispered a quiet prayer for all of my friends, family, and then my sweet and darling angels in Heaven. I knew they were watching over me, making sure me and the baby stayed safe. She was a miracle herself. Changmin probably had something to do with my pregnancy. Maybe he put in a good word for me upstairs, and they gave me what I wanted most in the world: a daughter that had a part of Junsu’s DNA in her.

To make sure my hunch was right, I went to see a doctor that specialized in paternity tests. She confirmed that Junsu was indeed the father, but then she asked if I had used frozen (I’ll admit, I giggled just a little when she spoke about that) from him, seeing as how he had been deceased for a few years. Not wanting to ruin her slightly twisted romantic view on the whole ordeal, I told her I had. For all she knows, I did. My parents are under the impression that I used a donor (giggle).

“Sweetheart, if you wanted a baby that bad, you should have gotten a boyfriend too,” my mother had said to me when I first told her.

My dad didn’t think much of it, other than the fact that he was going to have a grandchild.

Yunho and Jaejoong were the only people that knew the truth. When I told them, they weren’t surprised. All they wanted to know was HOW it had happened, since it “couldn’t have happened the traditional way,” Jae had joked. My brother was so excited that he was going to be an uncle, and Jaejoong was excited he had a little girl he could dress up in girly clothes. I only put my foot down on pink and yellow. I really hated those colors.

One day, as I was looking over some homework, she nudged my stomach. “Hey, there,” I laughed. “Don’t distract your mommy. She really needs to get her homework done, or else Uncle Yunho won’t take her to the movies this weekend.” It would be the only time I could pull him away from his fiancée. Stupid goo-goo eyed man. She nudged again, this time a little harder. “Okay, sweetheart. Mama really needs to do her work now.”

Cassie mewled loudly, her back raised upwards, almost as if…

I dropped my pen, staring at my cat. She purred contently, and her back rose up again.

My voice was almost inaudible, but it could be heard by anyone who was listening. “Is that you, my sweet angel?” Cassie purred louder, and she did a figure-eight where she stood. If someone was indeed standing there, she’d have gone in and out of their legs. I reached out a trembling hand. “Junsu? Yoochun? Changmin?” I paused. “Junsu?”

The baby inside me grew restless when I said her daddy’s name.

“It is you,” I sighed. A warm presence tickled my belly, then my cheek, and finally the top of my head. “Mm, I’ve missed you so much.” The sensation came back on my cheek and stayed there as I spoke. “I’m getting fat.” I could just imagine his unique laugh bursting from him. “Your baby is growing inside me as we speak. She’s getting bigger and bigger by the day. I can’t wait to see if she looks like you.”

What I could only guess was his hand went back to my stomach.

“Mm-hmm. She’s in there, counting the days until she can get out.”

It tickled my stomach, and I let out a shrill giggle. Cassie meowed.

“I love you, Junsu. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

The warmth crawled up to my face, residing on both cheeks now. Slowly I closed my eyes, as I knew what he was going to do next. Sure enough, the same warmth that tickled my stomach and cheeks gently touched my lips. I sighed, loving the wonderful sensation. It sent electric shocks down my body to the tips of my toes. “Our daughter’s going to be so beautiful, you can count on it. Promise me you’ll be there for her birth.”

He touched my hand to symbolize a pinky promise.

“Okay. I’m holding you to that.” I didn’t cry when the presence left. I could only touch the spot on my cheek where he’d touched me.

It was still warm.

Believing is different than seeing. When all you hold is a firm belief in something, you're always afraid to admit you may be wrong. You can always change a belief, but once you’ve seen it with your own two eyes, it’s hard to change views. The summer I spent in the apartment with my two ghosts changed the way I viewed life and death completely. They taught me many lessons that I promise to pass onto the next generation of my family, starting with my daughter.

And who knows? Perhaps I will meet those boys in the afterlife.