C h a p t e r 3:

 

Listen: Painful Love by JunJin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bXNEz3M_n8

 

                “JaeJoong~ah, what was her name?” JiJae asked.

 

                “Park Yumi,” JaeJoong answered.  “She was the best person in my life that ever appeared.”

 

                “She must be lucky to have you then,” said JiJae.

 

                “I was lucky to have her.”  JiJae then sneezed.  JaeJoong looked at her and stood up.  “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”  She nodded and got up, following him.  Her eyes widened to see JaeJoong on a motorcycle.

 

 

F l a s h b a c k

 

                “Ah, damn it.  I forgot my helmet,” KyuHyun said.  “JiJae, wear this.”

 

                “Oppa, I can’t.  You’re driving,” JiJae refused.  KyuHyun just smiled and put the helmet on her.  He got on his motorcycle and the engine.

 

                “Hop on, angel,” KyuHyun said.  JiJae smiled and sat behind him, putting her arms around his waist.  “Let’s make promises while I drive.”  JiJae laughed.

 

                “Okay.”  He then drove off.  “Promise me that we’ll marry and you propose at a beach.”

 

                “I promise!  Promise me that…you please me at bed every night now!  We don’t do it a lot and I have needs,” KyuHyun said loudly with a smirk.  JiJae laughed and playfully hit his shoulder.

 

                “I promise you ert.  And you’re always tired oppa,” JiJae said.  KyuHyun smiled.  “Promise me that…you’ll be by my side no matter what happens.”

               

                “Promise.  Then promise me that no matter where I am, and if I’m ever gone, you’ll move on and find someone new in your heart!”  JiJae frowned and stayed silent but softly smiled, resting her head on his back.

 

                “I promise oppa!  Saranghae!”

 

                “Saranghae, princess!”

 

A red light had appeared and KyuHyun stepped on the breaks.  ‘What the hell?’ he thought.  His breaks wouldn’t work and soon a car was crossing the intersection.  JiJae looked up with widened eyes.

 

                “Oppa!”

 

                “JiJae~ah, mianhe!  I love you!”

 

End of Flashback

 

Listen: A Girl Meets Love (Instrumental Version) by K. Will ft. Tiffany SNSD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz-0924rI0M

 

                “JiJae, you alright?” JaeJoong asked.

 

                “I-I’m just going to walk,” JiJae said and walked away.  JaeJoong walked to her.

 

                “Wait, you’re going to get sick if you’re going to be in the rain more.  C’mon and hop on,” JaeJoong suggested.

 

                “C-Can we take a bus then?” she asked.  JaeJoong looked at her eyes with sadness and fear.

 

                “Sure, c’mon.”

 

                “Thank you.”

 

                “It’s no problem.”

They walked side by side, letting the rain hit them until they reached the bus stop.  JiJae sat down on the bench while JaeJoong stood there, waiting for a bus to come.  JaeJoong looked at JiJae who was staring blankly at the road.  He sat down next to her.

 

                “What’s wrong?” JaeJoong asked.  She didn’t answer, seeming as if she didn’t hear him at all.  He just looked at her and soon saw a tear fall.  “JiJae~ah, what’s wrong?”  She just shook her head and looked at him.

 

                “Nothing to talk about, sorry,” JiJae said and looked back at the road as she played with her bracelet.  He looked at with curiosity.

 

                “Why do you always play with that bracelet?”  JiJae let go of it and put her hands on her lap and stared at the ground.

 

                “Well…KyuHyun oppa gave it to me,” JiJae answered.  She lightly smiled and gave out a small chuckle.  “He loves to spoil me.  He buys me some toys, brings me to expensive dinners, pays for every single thing on our dates, and gets me expensive jewelry.  I always feel so guilty but he always says that he spoils me because he loves me.”  She held her wrist up so that JaeJoong can see the charms.  “The angel wings are there because I’m his angel.  This crown is here because I’m his princess and this is his heart.”

 

                “Wow, he cares about you a lot,” JaeJoong said.  JiJae nodded and stood up.

 

                “Let’s walk instead,” she said and walked away.  JaeJoong nodded and followed her.  “I don’t know why, but…I feel so comfortable telling you this.”

 

                “Then…tell me more if you want,” said JaeJoong.  She stayed silent for a while.  She made a deep sigh and stared ahead of her.

 

                “We were involved in a motorcycle accident,” JiJae blurted out.  JaeJoong looked at her in widened eyes.  “The breaks wouldn’t work and we didn’t know why.  He…instantly died in the crash…”  She then started crying and stopped walking.  JaeJoong stopped and stood in front of her.  “He-He instantly died while I was in a coma, not knowing anything for 2 freaking weeks.  When I woke up, I knew nothing and I couldn’t talk because of the shock.  After a couple of days, I started to talk and asked where he was.”  JiJae then looked at him to see sadness in his eyes.  She sat on the wet ground and JaeJoong did the same.  “I will never forget the faces on the doctor and nurses.  They were showing sadness and sympathy.  I got out of bed and looked around for him but a nurse held me back and I just stood there crying.  They told me that he died on the crash but they preserved his body.  The last time I saw him was in the hospital because his parents wouldn’t let me at his funeral.  They were blaming me for everything.  I was never allowed at his grave back at Icheon or actually ever come back there.”

 

                “How come?” JaeJoong asked as he gently wiped her tears away.

 

                “He’s rich.  His parents seem as if they own Icheon.  I want to go there and say hi to him and talk to him there at his grave.  The only place I go is to the garden or meadow we were at earlier.”  JaeJoong stayed silent, patiently waiting for what she’ll say next.  “Before the crash, he forgot his helmet so he made me wear it.  Then, we made promises.”  JiJae laughed, remembering KyuHyun’s erted mind.  “He’s such a ert at times.  He made a promise that I should please him at bed every night.  And…he told me to promise that I would move on and find someone else in my heart.”

 

                “Have you yet?” JaeJoong immediately asked, tears already falling down his eyes.  JiJae sobbed, wiping her tears away but kept forming again.

 

                “I can’t.  I’m so scared to,” she answered.  JaeJoong just looked at her.

 

                “Why can’t you?  He would want you to.”  She just looked at him with complete teary eyes.

 

                “And you think I didn’t try?  I’m trying but I can’t.  KyuHyun is still in my heart and will always be in my heart.  I can never forget him.  We have planned our future and he promised to be by my side.  He’s not here anymore so what can I do since he isn’t?  Without him…I’m not…me.”

 

                “Then be you because right now he’s watching you!  He’s not happy, JiJae.”  More tears came from her eyes.

 

                “I know.  I know.  It’s not easy for me.  He was my first love,” JiJae said in sobs.

 

                “Same as Yumi but I’m moving on.  And I moved on already.  I’m moving on because Yumi wants me too.  I promised her that I will and if I kept that promise, she’ll be happy.  Whenever she’s happy, I’m happy.  I’m hurt still, but I’m moving on,” JaeJoong said.  She looked at him with curiosity.  “Yumi was always there for me.  She died from a heart disease.  I was scared for her to leave because even my brother died from the heart disease.  I was at her house and I read her diary.”  He then smiled at the memory.

 

F l a s h b a c k

 

Listen: JaeJoong and YooChun ~Colors~ Melody and Harmony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXcyrcg4d4Q

 

                “So, what is that?” JaeJoong asked.  She looked at him and pouted when she pulled her diary away.

 

                “My diary, so no looking,” she said, trying to have an angry face on.  JaeJoong smirked and tried to see what she wrote.

 

                “What you want to do before you die?” he asked.  She looked at him and nodded.

 

                “I said no looking gosh.”

 

                “No need to hide it.  C’mon, tell your lover.”  Yumi just giggled and nodded.  She leaned against his chest and let him read what she wrote.

 

                “It’s like just about your lover.  Have your first boyfriend, first kiss, first lover, first marriage with that first lover, and your first time with that first lover,” JaeJoong summarized out loud.

 

                “Yup.  Guess who it is?” Yumi asked.

 

                “I’m the first boyfriend, kiss, and lover, huh?” JaeJoong asked.

               

                “No, oppa, Jung YunHo is,” she teased.  He frowned.  Yumi laughed and kissed him in the lips.  “Of course it’s you, you babo.”

 

                “You’re such a teaser,” said JaeJoong with a pout that she can never resist.

 

                “To you I am.  I love you, oppa,” said Yumi.  JaeJoong smiled and deeply kissed her.

 

                “I love you, too, babe,” he said and kissed her more.  JaeJoong carried her to her bed while kissing her and got on top of her.  Their kiss became more passionate than ever.  They pulled away for their breath.  “Are you sure?”

 

                “I’m always sure with you, oppa,” Yumi said.  JaeJoong smiled and passionately kissed her again, starting a romantic and unforgettable night.

 

End of Flashback

 

                “So you two did it on that night too,” JiJae said.  “Did you two marry?”  JaeJoong frowned and shook his head.

 

                “We would’ve if she lived for 3 more days, remember?” JaeJoong answered.

 

                “I’m sorry.  But…I hope you two meet in the next life.”

 

                “Me too.  Were you and KyuHyun going to marry?”  JiJae smiled and chuckled.

 

                “Yeah.  That dork always saying ‘We’re going to be married and don’t you forget.’  He didn’t put the ring on me yet though.  I always wondered why until I looked inside in one of his drawers and found a small red velvet box.  I opened it to find an engagement ring and a note saying ‘Okay, ask JiJae to marry you in the summer.  Marry next year in the summer because she wants wedding on a beach.  Okay, plan is good.’  I laughed and cried so much.  He didn’t have to wait till then, but…I guess he wanted the moment to be right for him,” JiJae answered.  “He was my dork.”

 

                “You two couldn’t separate, huh?”

 

                “No, we couldn’t.  We were like two attracted magnets.”

 

JaeJoong and JiJae lightly laughed.  JaeJoong stood up and helped her on her feet.

 

                “C’mon, I’ll make us some soup, okay?”

 

                “Okay.”

 

Listen: Shelter by JaeJoong and YooChun:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0Ja_YegQwI

 

JiJae was sitting on the couch, watching TV while JaeJoong was fixing up on some soup.  JaeJoong then put a bowl in front of her on the table and started to eat.

 

                “Thank you,” she said.

 

                “No problem,” said JaeJoong.

 

Both of them looked at the TV.  They saw a kid wishing to fly, making JiJae smile.

 

                “I always wanted to fly.  KyuHyun tells me that he’ll make sure that I will fly someday,” JiJae blurted out.

 

                “Did you?” JaeJoong asked.  JiJae nodded.

 

                “He rented a hot air balloon and the only funny thing is that, I’m scared of heights but I wanted to fly.  He knew that too but oppa forced me on the balloon.  I just sat there, scared to stand up.  When we were high enough, I kept my eyes close when he helped me up.  He then told me ‘Open your eyes, angel.’  When I did, I felt…amazing.”  JiJae quietly laughed at the memories.  “I remembered when I took his PSP, he started tackling me down on the floor.  I took his laptop and ruined a level in Starcraft.  He hates it when people mess up his games, but to me, he was okay with it and taught me how to play.”

 

                “I thought you didn’t like Starcraft?” JaeJoong asked.

 

                “I was curious at the time.  I told him one day that I want to see fireworks with our name on it.  He did that, just for me.  I love looking at the stars and oppa named a star after my nicknamed. He named it Princess because I’m his princess, he’s my prince and it’s shaped like a crown too.  He wrote a song for me and sang it to me in front of the whole school one day too.  He pays attention to me so much.  He listens to me and what I wish that I want to happen will happen because of him.  He does so much for me.  I feel so guilty all the time because I’m not doing a lot for him.  He will usually kiss me and say ‘The only thing I want you to do is to be with me.  I love you so much that I need to spoil you, princess.’”  Tears were slowly forming in her eyes, but she held them in.  She put the soup down on the table.  “I told him that when we get married, we live in Seoul, living in a nice, comfortable normal house with a big backyard.  The porch will have flowers around and the backyard can have a pond and more flowers and trees.  There would be a trampoline because I love jumping around.  We wanted a beach house and we even talked about children.”  Both of them laughed.

 

                “What about them?” JaeJoong asked.

 

                “We would have 3 kids.  2 boys and a baby girl.  We would name the boys JunSu and JunJin.  We would name our daughter MinJi.  We hope MinJi is going to be our innocent angel and the boys would be well behaved and will be protective to their daughter.”

 

                “Do you want the boys to be twins?” JaeJoong asked.

 

                “That would be nice to have twins,” JiJae answered.

 

                “You two are meant to be.”  The room was then silent.  The TV was the only thing that was giving out the sound.  JiJae took a deep breath before talking.

 

                “Yeah, we were.  I-I gotta go.  Thank you for the soup, oppa.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”  She then walked out and shut the door behind her.  JaeJoong smiled and JiJae stopped walking with widened eyes.  “I-I called him oppa.”  Without even knowing, she showed a small smile on her face and headed home.

 

                “Did she just call me oppa?” JaeJoong asked himself.