It's on a Saturday morning where Kibum's woken up by a series of loud knocks on his door. He grumbles in annoyance and turns over, peering over at Minho's bed where the taller of the pair is still snoring away, dead to the world. He takes the pillow that had been under his head and chucks it as hard as he can. It lands on Minho's head, waking the poor boy with a start. Minho jolts up in bed, clutching at his chest like he's having palpitations. He doesn't even turn in Kibum's direction, just stares at the door like whoever's knocking is what woke him up.

For his own safety, Kibum pretends he's still asleep and that, indeed, their morning intruder is who had ruined their sleep.

Minho throws his blanket off and throws the door open with a slam that causes even Kibum to jump. There go his plans of pretending to sleep, that's for sure.

"What the hell, Taeminnie?" Minho's raspy voice grumbles, and when Kibum looks over at the messy head of hair that Minho's sporting, he notes the way his heart is threatening to skip a beat.

"Sorry, Minnie hyung," Taemin says, with just the smallest glimmer of remorse on his face as he looks past Minho to where Kibum's just blearily looking up at him,

"I got a message from my brother saying he's coming over now so I-"

There's no need for further explanation. Kibum's up and out of bed and Minho's already halfway to the bathroom, where Jonghyun's just come out looking frazzled and half from his shower. Taemin's older brother, Taesun, is just a few years older than Jinki, a decorated member of the military, and someone who Taemin really looks up to. Because of this, the group is always looking to make a good impression on him. With the exception of Jinki, who had never met Taesun due to conflicting schedules, all three of Taemin's other roommates have met his brother.

"Is hyung here?" Kibum calls out to the group, making his way to Jinki's door.

"He came in around three." Jonghyun answers, and Kibum feels himself nodding, albeit stiffly. 

There's still a good amount of tension between them, but it's something that needs time to heal and can't be forced. Kibum's just not ready to let old wounds close up yet.

He knocks at Jinki's door, but receives no answer. The door's unlocked, though, which is a surprise. Jinki, whose always had an open door policy since Kibum was in his freshman year and would go to Jinki's dorm at any hour of the day for advice, had recently kept his door locked at all times.

Jinki's still in bed, thankfully. Kibum walks into the room, unsure as to whether or not waking him is a good idea. Even from this distance, it looks like Jinki could use any sleep he can get, what with the deep eye bags on his face. Kibum takes the chance to look around the room and frowns. Jinki's room is bare, which is a stark contrast to the previous year where his room was full of music cds and even an old vinyl record player. It looks more like Jinki's just staying here temporarily than living in it.

He gets to the bed, where Jinki's torso is bare. He's clutching onto his blanket like it's a teddy bear, which makes for an endearing sight; and his head is tilted back with drool slipping down his chin and onto the pillow. It's then that Kibum sees it, that scar on the base of Jinki's neck. He swears he's seen it somewhere before, but can't for the life of him remember where. Something in him tells him to make a mental note of it, though, and so he does.

"Is he up?" Jonghyun's voice asks from behind him, and Kibum feels the way his body tenses. He knows he needs to remain calm, but he still feels so insecure when it comes to Jinki and Jonghyun.

It's not anyone's fault, not really; but yet, Kibum's forced to feel like both of the elders just strung him along because they didn't want to acknowledge their own feelings.

"No, you can wake him up." Kibum says curtly, and he spins on his heel, knocking into Jonghyun's shoulder as he exits the room.

Jonghyun spins after him, out of reflex, and his hand curls around Kibum's wrist. He's annoyed; frustrated, even. Like he even really has a right to be either.

"What did I do wrong now, Bummie?" Jonghyun croaks, his voice sounding like he's close to tears from his frustration. Out of the entire group, Jonghyun's always been the most sensitive. Kibum hates how his heart melts upon knowing that.

Before he can answer, whether it be out of rage or frustration, Minho pops into view from when he'd been in the bathroom. His hair is still wet from his shower and there are spots of water on his shirt as he'd just half-hazardly thrown his shirt on. Objectively speaking, Minho's the most attractive out of their entire friend group. Kibum's always known this.

Kibum's always known this, but that doesn't do anything to deter his chest from actually skipping a beat.

Minho seems to know what's going on immediately, his body going rigid as he walks forward, wraps his hand around Jonghyun's, and more or less pries his hand off of Kibum's wrist. He looks calm, but Kibum knows him well enough to feel the pointedness of his action.

"Look. We don't have time for the two of you to be like this right now. Taemin's brother just made it onto campus." Minho quips at them, and he might have forgotten that he was still holding onto Kibum, because he walks away and Kibum's forced to follow.

"Hey. You're going to bruise my wrist!" Kibum hollers, indignant.

It's only then that Minho really seems to remember he's still holding onto Kibum. He lets go so quickly that it almost feels like he's been burned by their touch. Kibum tries not to be too offended by the sight of it. He'd thought they'd grown closer recently, bonded by their sharing a room together. Minho, who had always had such a wide friend circle and was on enough clubs and teams that he had plenty of options to hang out with, had been mostly staying at home, up with Kibum into the wee hours of the morning as they did their homework, bickered, and fell asleep talking about a variety of topics.

"I know you're having a hard time with Jonghyun," Minho mutters, all while his gaze is fixed in the direction of Jinki's room, where Jonghyun had disappeared into, 

"But wouldn't it be easier to just talk to him? At least so you can let go of some of this resentment?"

This isn't the first time Minho's brought it up. Each time he's even begun to suggest it, Kibum's shut him down. After all, is it really anyone's business but his own if he does or doesn't get closure from his relationship with Jonghyun?

Kibum opens his mouth to answer, just as Jonghyun reappears from Jinki's room, tugging a sluggish Jinki out of it. He's fully covered now; and yet, the elder looks completely disoriented, the movements of his body extremely slow. It looks like he's not taking good care of himself, even if he's built up a lot of muscle over the summer. Unknowingly, Kibum shoots a look of concern at Minho, mildly surprised to see it mirrored on the tall boy's face. Jonghyun has his lips pressed into a thin line as he practically shoves the compliant Jinki into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

When he turns around and meets Kibum's eyes, there's a look of concern on his face as well.

And, even though he's still so heartbroken and mad at the two eldest of their friend group, Kibum finds himself saying,

"He'll open up when he's ready. You know him."

Which seems to do the trick. Jonghyun relaxes minutely, releasing a deep breath. He shakes his head, mostly to himself, then mutters something about coffee and heads into the kitchen.

Despite himself, Kibum smiles a little bit. It's a conflicting, confusing situation. On one hand, he hates how jealous and insecure he feels and hates knowing it's because of Jinki and Jonghyun. On the other hand, the two are so obvious and oblivious about their own feelings that a small part of Kibum can't help but cheer them on from the sidelines.

Kibum releases a breath of relief himself, then turns back to Minho. Minho's still looking at him. In fact, he's never bothered looking away. Gone is that emotion of concern he'd shown over Jinki. In its place, there's a look of fondness that's so unexpected that Kibum ducks his head and hurries for their shared bedroom so that he can gather his own shower supplies.

What was that even about?

Minho can hear Taemin's nervous excitement in the way he's chattering with Jonghyun in their kitchen. The boy always gets homesick when he's away from his family, but it always seems to manifold when it came to Taesun. Minho follows the sound of his voice into the kitchen. Taemin's at the table, eating out of a bowl with what's probably cereal, while Jonghyun's leaning back against the counter with the coffee machine on. There's a lazy little grin on Jonghyun's face, because he loves it when Taemin gets all excited like this.

They all do, but Jonghyun has an exceptionally soft spot for the youngest of their group.

"Is there enough in the pot for me, too?" Minho asks as he grabs an empty coffee mug out of their cupboard. He'd need the coffee if he wants to stay alert when Taesun arrives.

Jonghyun throws him a curious look, but turns to the coffee machine and nods anyway,

"I'm brewing a full pot. You know how hyung gets with his coffee."

He's talking about Jinki, probably; but Minho's not too sure. Jinki's not the type to complain much. If there's coffee, no matter how strong or weak it is, Jinki always has this fond little smile on his face as he downs every last drop. Minho thinks Jonghyun just wanted an excuse to do something nice for Jinki; which doesn't make too much sense seeing as Jinki's got an exceptionally soft spot for Jonghyun.

"Taeminnie. Do you want me to cut some of your hair real quick before your brother gets here?" Kibum asks as he walks into the kitchen, brandishing a little pair of scissors.

Kibum's been saying that Taemin needs to trim some of the excess off the ends of his hair, because his hair is almost to his shoulders and the edges are a little split, but Taemin absolutely hates letting people touching his hair. This time isn't an exception, Minho notes, as Taemin shies away from the protuding weapon and blocks any attempt of Kibum's to approach him.

"You can cut mine instead." Minho offers, when it's becoming apparent that Taemin's refusal is only going to annoy Kibum further.

Kibum gives him a once over, which Minho feels himself growing self-conscious over. Why's Kibum looking over his entire body when Minho's just asking for a haircut, anyway? And why are the corners of his lips turning downward like there's just so much wrong with Minho's body?

"Can we do it later?" Taemin cuts in, and he waves his phone in the air,

"Taesun says he's outside the building."

"What?" Chimes three voices in varying stages of panic.

"Oh my god!" Kibum hollers, and he runs to his room muttering profanities. He hasn't gotten the chance to shower yet because Jinki's still in there and Kibum hates letting people see him at anything below his very best.

"Hyung's still in the bathroom." Jonghyun says in horror, and he hurries out of the kitchen to pound his fist into the bathroom door because there's a high probability that Jinki's fallen askeep standing up in the shower, again.

"I'll go bring him in." Taemin says in fond amusement as he watches the others panic.

He's a little evil, Minho thinks; but Minho silently watches him leave their suite. He turns back to the mug in hand, then glances at the coffee machine and debates on whether or not he has enough time to make himself a mug of coffee before Taesun gets inside. Shrugging, he pours himself a cup anyway and downs the entire mug within seconds. It was a refreshing, well-needed pick-me-up so early in the morning.

"How do I look?" Comes Kibum's voice from behind him, and Minho has to steel himself, protect his emotions, as he turns around to face what is likely going to stop his heart for a second.

Even if he were just donning a plastic bag, Kibum would look so beautiful, so effortless, that Minho would find himself completely at a loss for words.

"You have some grays coming in, but you're fine otherwise." Minho tells him with a tilt of his head. It's a cheap shot, but it does the trick.

"Why do I even bother asking you?" Kibum snorts, offended, as he turns to return to their room to double check in the mirror. Minho sighs in relief as soon as he's out of view, then looks to the side where Jinki's just walked into the kitchen.

Jinki always seems to know a lot more than he lets on about everything, and his eyes flicker between Minho and the direction Kibum had gone in. It almost seems like the elder is fighting off a grin as he walks over to the coffee machine to pour himself a mug. He still looks exhausted and his footsteps are more of a shuffle, but that shower seems to have helped him wake himself up. Jonghyun is nowhere to be found, though Minho assumes he's just doing some last minute cleaning to make sure Taesun has a good impression of them.

The elder takes a seat at their table with his fresh mug of coffee in hand, lips curved ever so slightly like he's thoroughly enjoying it. He doesn't need to, seeing as he's already had a cup of coffee just a few minutes prior, but Minho takes a seat across from Jinki and allows himself to drink in the sight of the elder.

"Have you..." Minho trails off, and Jinki's rapt attention turns to him instantly, his cup waiting against his lips,

"Have you been going to the gym regularly since you've come back?"

Jinki looks at him like that's the last question he'd been expecting from Minho, and Minho feels himself biting back a grin. It's always been easy for him to sit back and observe in their group, much like Jinki. It might be hard to take in Jinki's drastic behavior changes, but instead of prying and applying pressure, he'll wait and be the supportive brother Jinki's always been for him.

"Typically for an hour in the early morning when it's quiet." Jinki responds, and then he takes another sip of his coffee.

Minho thinks about that, and about how Jinki's been coming into the suite at around 3am daily. He's usually out about 6 or 7 after that; and Minho just knows that it's unhealthy for Jinki to be running on such little sleep, especially if he's working out as much as he is.

"I'll go with you next time, so you're not alone." Minho suggests, but even he's not sure if it's an offer or a subtle request. There's really no need for Jinki to be suffering so much on his own, though.

Jinki averts his gaze, his fingers tightening around the coffee mug's handle. He looks like he's drowning in negative thoughts, and that Minho's putting pressure on him despite his desperation in trying not to. 

"Okay." Jinki finally agrees, reluctant.

Minho, feeling guilty all of a sudden for backing the elder into a corner, thinks about taking it back; but that's when Jonghyun finally walks into the kitchen.

"What are you two talking about?" Jonghyun asks, his eyebrows wiggling in playful suspicion as he also joins them at the table.

"I was telling hyung we should go to the gym together," Minho explains, watching Jinki's ever careful poker face like it'll suddenly break. He glances out of the corner of his eye to where Jonghyun's also watching Jinki,

"You should come too."

Both Jinki and Jonghyun snap their heads over to look at him, and this only solidifies Minho's suggestion.

"Is that... okay with you, hyung?" Jonghyun asks, slow like he's trying not to spook him.

Jinki is silent for a long moment, taking a long sip of his coffee. The silence speaks in waves, really. Jinki wants to be left alone to go to the gym, and left alone to struggle with whatever he's facing; but he also doesn't know how to refuse his friends and their concern over him. Well, maybe it's not that he doesn't know how, but he feels guilty about wanting to be alone.

"Monday at 6, if it's not too early for you." Jinki answers, and he stands up, depositing his mug into the sink and exiting the kitchen much like he's running from ghosts.

Jonghyun shares a look with him when the eldest is out of view, and Minho's heart constricts at the obvious pain in that gaze. Maybe they do need to put pressure on Jinki, if only so that they themselves don't suffer without knowing how they can help.

Suddenly, Kibum's in the kitchen and nearly hyperventilating from nervousness,

"I hear Taeminnie's keys jingling. Taesun's here."

Kibum, in all of his confidence, always surprises Minho in moments like these, when his nerves outweigh everything else.

Minho had seen Kibum like this before, when he had confessed to Minho that he was planning to tell Jonghyun that he loved him. Minho's heart had shattered back then; but what did his bout of jealousy mean when he wanted someone he loved with all of his heart to be happy?

Like back then, Minho clasps a hand on his roommate's shoulder, adding a little pressure to keep him grounded, and steers him in the direction of the common room,

"Don't worry, Bummie. He'll love you."

Taemin is nearly bouncing from how giddy he feels as he fumbles with his keys and manages to open the suite door. It's his first time in almost a year to have seen his brother in person; and while his roommates are nervous to see Taesun again, Taemin loves the very idea of all the people he loves being in the same place. Which is why his phone is pulled out the moment they get into the suite, shooting Jongin a text to let him know Taesun's in town. He also hadn't seen Taesun in so long, and would probably love to catch up with the elder.

When he looks up from his phone, satisfied by the message he'd sent to Jongin, he's greeted by the sight of his four roommates in a straight line in the middle of their common room, waiting with straight, tense postures like they're the ones in the army.

Taemin has to force his snickers back as his brother steps up to the group.

Taesun is quiet for a long moment, his face set and his back tight with his hands clasped behind him. The longer he's quiet, the more nervous the group -especially Jonghyun, for whatever reason- gets. And then, just like it had all been imagined, his brother breaks into a wide grin.

"Bummie! Your hair looks very nice, did you dye it yourself?" Taesun asks, and Taemin watches with glee as Kibum self consciously brings a hand and twirls his fingers through his locks, quietly thanking the elder.

Taesun moves down the line like he's presenting awards and looks up and down Minho like he's in awe, "Look at our muscle man, here! He's already on his way to being a global phenomenon, isn't he?"

And Minho, with all the charisma and confidence out of everyone Taemin's ever known, blushes. His entire face flames up, and he salutes clumsily at the elder like he'd been given an order. Taesun grins, clasps him on the shoulder, and moves down the line to where Jonghyun is.

Jonghyun swallows thickly, waiting for whatever Taesun's got to say to him with his anxiety written plain on his face.

"Taeminnie says you've come up with some new compositions," Taesun says softly, reaching up to pat Jonghyun once on the head,

"Would you mind showing me any of them? If you're comfortable?"

Which is a big thing, Taemin thinks. Jonghyun doesn't let anyone see his work unless he's 100% sure about them, and most people are too nervous to even really ask him about them in general because of how well he writes.

"Sure!" Jonghyun chirps, a little too loud in the quiet room. He cringes a little at the sound of his own voice, but Taesun doesn't take the opportunity to . Taemin does, though, pointing and snickering at Jonghyun's obvious discomfort and ignoring the glare he gets as a response to it.

When Taesun steps over to Jinki, he seemingly freezes in place. Taesun's mouth opens, then closes, and he clears his throat as his eyes flicker from Jinki's face over to where Taemin's stepped forward in concern at his silence.

"You didn't tell me Jinki was this handsome." Taesun says, and Taemin's mortified by his brother's blunt admission.

Not just Taemin, either. Jinki, who isn't used to attention in this way, widens his eyes and takes a half step back like he's not sure of what he's supposed to say or do next. Jonghyun, next to him, has lost that nervous energy that had been swirling around him, and his eyes are ever so slightly narrowed in Taesun's direction. Taemin's not even sure if Jonghyun's aware of his sudden animosity towards someone he'd previously thought of as a brother figure of his own.

Taesun, noting the tension he's caused, grins and waves a hand in his face, "That was too brazen, wasn't it?"

"Now we know where Taemin gets it from." Kibum snorts from down the line; and just like that, the tension melts away.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make it weird." Taesun apologizes, and then he sticks his hand out in Jinki's direction for a shake,

"Taemin's told me a lot about how you used to coach him in singing. I've just been really curious about who you were."

 If Jinki's made any more uncomfortable by Taesun's eagerness, he doesn't let it show. He has a small smile on his face, his eyes guarded, as he shakes Taesun's offered hand. He's very polite in general, which is something all four of them have gotten used to over the time they've known him; but this cold, evasiveness is something different entirely.

"It's nice to meet you, Taesun." Jinki answers, their hands lingering for the briefest of moments before they're both dropped to their sides,

"I'm hoping you have some stories to share with us about Taemin's childhood. He embarrasses us too much for us not to have anything to use in return."

Taemin ignores the way Taesun lights up and starts to ramble about their youth, risking another glance at Jonghyun. He's still got that hostile aura going on, and he's definitely noticed the way the two had let their hands linger for longer than necessary. Why Jonghyun was jealous was pretty obvious, but Taemin shakes his head knowing that Jonghyun is getting himself jealous of someone who could never take Jinki from him.

There's a knock at the door that silences everyone for a second, puzzled expressions on their faces as Kibum goes to open the door and returns with a sheepishly smiling Jongin behind him. He's got a bottle of Taesun's favorite pomegranite soju clutched tightly in hand. Taemin wonders which of Jongin's roommates he's stolen it from.

"Jonginnie!" Taesun calls out, and his conversation with Minho and Jinki about Taemin's childhood is momentarily forgotten as he wraps an arm around Jongin's shoulder and squeezes him tight.

Jongin, who isn't particularly a fan of such shows of affection, melts into the hug. He's always been like this towards Taesun, because he was an only child himself. Taemin's heart warms at the sight of it. It looks so familiar that Taemin longs to be a part of it. So he does. He snakes his way into the hug, squeezing his friend and his brother so tight that the two of them even groan at his addition.

"Taem!" Jongin grumbles, but it's full of affection and empty of heat. He loves it, even if he refuses to acknowledge it.

Cooing at his friend's empty grumbles, Taemin smooshes their cheeks together, "Don't fight it."

Taesun chuckles as he lets the two of them go, reaching up to ruffle their hair, "It's a little too late to fight it. We're practically family."

Which -- Taemin doesn't know how he feels about, he realizes. Jongin is not his brother. Jongin seems to think so too, with the way his expression hardens momentarily. He grins a moment later, knocking Taemin's head with his fist.

"If we were related, I'd be annoyed that our genetics made him the smart one."

There's snickering sounding from Taemin's older roommates; but Taemin's squinted eyes can't seem to tell who it is that's choosing a losing battle by picking on him like he doesn't have plenty to say about them.

"How about you guys sit and catch up?" Kibum offers, and he jerks a thumb in the direction of the kitchen,

"I'll go and get some snacks ready."

Which seems to be something everyone agrees with. Kibum goes off to the kitchen, and Jinki trails after him a moment later. Taemin can see it in his frame, though, that Jinki's just looking for reasons to escape. He's always been the biggest introvert of the group, and there are just way too many people around him now.

Jongin brings him back to reality when the childhood friend nudges their shoulders together. When Taemin turns his head, there's the raise of Jongin's eyebrows asking if Taemin's okay. His brother is so distracted by conversation with Minho and Jonghyun that the two of them go unnoticed. Taemin doesn't really know how to respond to Jongin's silent question, which doesn't go unnoticed by his friend, either. Jongin answers with the smallest little smile of concern.

Jonin leans closer, his lips so close to Taemin's ear that it makes Taemin's entire body want to tremble from the heat.

"Do you want to ditch your brother with them and come hang out with me?"

He knows he shouldn't, and for many reasons; but when Taemin glances around the room and realizes he won't be missed if he disappears for a little while, the feeling of mischief is too good to ignore. He nods, just a slight bob of his head, and he gets up, grinning as he and Jongin near the door.

"Hey! Where are you going when I'm here?" Taesun hollers as they're nearly out the door.

"Thanks for visiting, hyung!" Taemin calls over his shoulder, and he's the first one to leave.

"It was nice seeing you!" Jongin adds on, and he grabs Taemin's wrist, running and tugging him along because even from a distance they can hear Kibum yelling at them to come back and stop being rude.

Taemin just barely manages to ignore the feeling of rightness that comes along with having Jongin hold onto him so tightly.

Jonghyun would take a bullet for Taemin. That's likely a known fact, considering how supportive and protective he is of the youngest in their friend group. He'd take a bullet for Taemin. He'd donate an organ for Taemin. He'd literally give every song in his composition notebook to Taemin without reservation.

But when Taemin and Jongin escape and leave Taesun there with his handsome, overly confident grin and curious eyes that follow Jinki the moment he's close enough to be seen, Jonghyun wants nothing more than to scream at the youngest. 

He's not jealous. Or, at least, he doesn't think he's jealous. He is concerned, though. Jinki is handsome, and Jonghyun's known that since the first day they've met as freshman; but even back then, Jinki has always been shy and strayed away from public view. He deserves to have more confidence in himself for sure, but this isn't the way to do it. Taesun's making him uncomfortable to the point where Jinki finds the smallest excuses to leave the room for even a few seconds.

When he'd first met Jinki, it was halfway through their first semester. Jinki was a late start, because his family couldn't afford to send him right away and his scholarship hadn't been ready at the time. When he was called to the front of their class to introduce himself, Jinki had smiled that nervous little smile that made his entire face crinkle in amusement; and when he'd started to sing to show the instructor what they'd be dealing with, everyone had shifted to the front of their seats like they just couldn't hear enough of it.

Jonghyun was the same. Jinki, with his bright smile and his honey-soft voice, had immediately caught his attention. He'd felt this longing in his chest, one that compelled him to protect Jinki, to stay close and always be on his side. He had pushed his way through the crowd of students who had wanted to introduce themselves after their class, ignoring protests and other students hollering out his name in frustration. Jinki stared at him, wide-eyed and maybe a little fearful; but when Jonghyun had grinned and done nothing more than hold his hand out, Jinki had taken it.

And that was the start of their friendship. Jonghyun had taken the hyung role, showing Jinki the best spots on campus for food and drinks and what areas to steer clear of since he was an obvious introvert. When the topic of age had come up, Jonghyun was more than terrified of his blunder.

"You're my hyung?" Jonghyun asks in disbelief, and hs has a hand slapped over his mouth as he bows, repeatedly, like the ground will open up and swallow him whole.

Jinki laughs, puts a hand on Jonghyun's shoulder when he stands so he stops bowing, and ever so gently ruffles his hair.

"Hopefully I'll be as good to you as you were to me." Jinki says in reassurance, and Jonghyun realizes at that moment that the two of them were destined to meet.

Since then, he realizes, he's been virtually inseparable from Jinki. Well, almost. For the first two years, they had done everything together; from classes, to vocal training. They had the same friend group, ate at the same times. It wasn't until Jonghyun started dating Changsun, and then Kibum when the first relationship had fizzled out, that the two of them were known to be joined at the hip. He's still not too sure if he'd pulled away out of respect to his partners, or if it was Jinki who had pulled away for the same reasoning; but he now feels that Jinki-sized hole in his heart that makes him feel like his entire world is wrong.

"It's getting late." Taesun says, all of a sudden; and Jonghyun realizes with a jolt that the day's already passed them by.

It's nearly dinner time, and they've all been so immersed with conversation about Taemin and Taesun's time serving in the army that no one's noticed the time until everyone's stomachs started to grumble. Taesun looks apologetically at them, like he knows he's been a burden by staying for so long.

"You should stay for the night." Minho says all of a sudden, and Jonghyun swallows a lump.

He doesn't know why he doesn't want Taesun to stay. After all, until today, he's always found the elder Lee to be like a brother to himself, too.

"It'll give you more time to catch up with Taeminnie." Kibum seems to agree, but going by the glint in his eyes, Jonghyun's pretty sure Kibum's just getting back for Taemin leaving his brother with them and going off to who knows where with Jongin.

"I wouldn't want to impose." Taesun declines, but the look in his eyes tells them that he's exhausted and can use the time to rest.

"You can take my bed. I share with Taemin." Jonghyun offers, waving a hand in the direction of their room. All he really has to do is change the sheets, anyway; and possibly clear out the clutter of music sheets on his desk.

"Where will you sleep?" Taesun asks in return, his lips turned into a frown that's very reminiscent of Taemin's.

Jonghyun glances over at the sofa and feels himself frowning as well. He's learned after accidentally dozing off on the sofa before that it's not very comfortable for his back, but it wouldn't be fair to make Taesun sleep on it either.

"He can stay with me." Jinki's quiet voice speaks up. Instantly, all four boys turn to him in surprise.

He's been mostly quiet throughout Taesun's visit, only really interjecting when he's felt that his opinion was needed. Even now, after sharing his thoughts, he seems entirely uninterested in further elaborating on his suggestion, and turns on his heels like it's been decided already. Jonghyun feels his mouth drying out at the mere thought of sharing a room with the elder. Jinki only has one bed in his room. Are they going to share his bed, or does he have a sleeping bag for Jonghyun?

"I'll go start on dinner." Kibum says decidedly, with that familiar spark of anger in his tone. Feeling defeated from their earlier confrontation, Jonghyun pointedly ignores his tone and heads off into his room to change his sheets.

By the time the sheets are changed and his desk is cleared, Kibum's in the process of finishing What's more, he's got both Minho and Taesun in the kitchen with him. Minho, for all of his charms and ability, is a disaster in the kitchen and shouldn't be trusted with a knife; so it looks like Taesun's the one who'd been tasked with slicing up the pork for their dinner. Jonghyun feels the hunger pains already, and especially because Kibum's the greatest cook he's ever known. Dinner passes without Taemin showing up, which causes Kibum to grumble even as he sets a plate aside for Taemin to pick at later, and even goes as far as to leave a note by the sink telling the youngest it's his job to clear the dishes later. Everyone already knows Jinki's likely to clean it because he likes doing things that he doesn't have to.

After dinner, with everyone sated and Taesun curling up in Taemin's bed with a tired unrepentant Taemin beaming as he slams their bedroom door in Jonghyun's face, Jonghyun walks over to Jinki's room and holds an uncertain hand up to knock. He doesn't need to, though, because Jinki's door is already cracked open. When he pushes it open just a little farther and steps into the room, he's hit with the sight of Jinki sitting on a sleeping bag on the floor, with one of his computer engineering textbooks laid open in front of him and a notebook in his lap that he's diligently writing notes in.

"Why are you sleeping on the floor?" Jonghyun asks quietly, the disappointment heavy in his tone. He's the guest, so it doesn't make sense to have kicked Jinki out of his bed for Jonghyun's comfort.

Jinki's eyes drag away from the textbook, and he's quiet for too long of a moment as their gazes match. There's something heavy in that look he's being given, even though he can't entirely decipher Jinki as of late.

"I've still got some work to do, and I didn't want to keep you up."

Which is so inately Jinki that Jonghyun's mind whirs with affection.

Jonghyun walks back to his room and pounds on the door until Taemin begrudgingly opens so that he can grab his notebook. Jinki's already back to focusing when he gets there, and Jonghyun is silent as he climbs onto Jinki's bed and cracks the notebook open. Jinki had probably planned to turn the light off and study using the flashlight on his phone but Jonghyun refused to burden him like so.

They lapse into a comfortable silence as they work; but as more time passes and all that Jonghyun can hear over the sound of his own rapidly beating heartbeat is the sound of Jinki turning pages, he feels himself growing restless.

"Jinki." Jonghyun calls, and he peers over the edge of the bed. Jinki tilts his head up, and Jonghyun can see the smallest speck of Jinki's scar; and knowing it's there makes him wish he were the type of friend that Jinki felt like he could open up to.

"Jonghyun?" Jinki replies when Jonghyun's voice dies out. He seems curious, and not at all frustrated like Jonghyun thought he'd be if he were distracted from his studies.

When Jonghyun remains silent, Jinki closes his book and stands up, shifting to sit on the edge of his bed like he's the intruder and not Jonghyun.

Now that they're so close, however, Jonghyun's mind blanks from all that he had wanted to say just moments prior to this. What could he say, anyway? All he can think of, now, is the way Jinki's natural musky scent is surrounding him, and how Jinki's soft blanket feels like it's embracing Jonghyun. When had his thoughts about Jinki ever turned into thoughts like this? Or, perhaps, when had they stopped being like this? When he'd met Kibum? Or perhaps earlier, when he'd met Changsun? What wedge was driven between them that they've only just been able to clear out?

Had Jinki ever noticed? Had he never missed Jonghyun the way Jonghyun realized he missed Jinki?

"Is it about Bummie?" Jinki asks, his tone unsure and maybe a little afraid. Of what, it wasn't clear.

Jonghyun wants to get annoyed. Annoyed because Jinki seems to think Jonghyun's problems can't be anything aside from Kibum even though their relationship is long over. It might have been hard to swallow back when Kibum had decided to end things, but Jonghyun was slowly coming to terms with it, even if Kibum had lied about wanting to be friends back then.

But, he knows that there's little else for Jonghyun to really be going to Jinki for advice over; and that's the sad reality of it. Jonghyun's been taking advantage of Jinki's kindness by only going to him when he's had issues with his partners in the past, and realizes he's never been there when Jinki's had his own issues to reciprocate the kindness he'd been shown.

"No. Not this time." Jonghyun admits, and he watches as Jinki's eyebrows furrow in concern like he doesn't understand what else Jonghyun could want to talk about.

"It's you."

Jinki inhales sharply, his mouth parting and his eyes sharpening like Jonghyun's said something completely baffling.

"It took me so long to realize it, but I miss you."

The elder blinks, his expression clearing quickly and being replaced with confusion,

"But I'm right here."

And he really seems to believe that. Jonghyun's heart hurts at the mere thought of it.

"You're right here, hyung, but you've been miles away from me for so long that I don't even know if I know who you are anymore."

Long after Jonghyun's fallen asleep, Jinki sits up in his sleeping bag and peers up at him from where he's sitting on the floor. The lights are off now, the only light coming from his cell phone's flashlight. Jonghyun had said some truths that Jinki had been avoiding confronting, and he'd said it so easily. Jinki had thought that their friendship had run its course; that Jonghyun was going to leave him behind, especially after learning about his throat condition. But it's that look that Jonghyun had on his face, the one full of remorse and of compassion, that had Jinki falter.

Maybe it was time to tell them about what was going on with him after all. Even if they couldn't do anything to help him and even if he would only end up feeling like more of a burden to them, wouldn't it be easier to let them know what's going on than it would be to suffer alone?

Taking a deep breath, Jinki finally shuts his textbook and exits his bedroom. He thinks he'll leave the dorm, find some place quiet where he can think and possibly even cry without the others and their hurt, worried gazes following him and choking him with their earnesty. He's surprised, however, when he gets out of his room and finds Taesun sitting alone in the living room with his head in his hands.

Jinki thinks maybe it's not his place to intervene and maybe Taesun just wants to be alone with his thoughts like Jinki did, but he finds himself trailing closer anyway. Taesun is Taemin's brother, after all; and it's just like he's part of their friend group.

"Are you okay?" Jinki asks as he takes the spot on the couch next to Taesun, reaching out despite his own hesitancy and placing a comforting hand on the elder's shoulderblade.

Taesun is obviously surprised to see anyone with him at such an hour, his head snapping up and over in Jinki's direction. His mouth is parted ever so slightly, and his eyebrows furrowed. Even in the dark, he looks like he's debating on what he should say to someone who's not even involved in the situation.

Eventually, though, Taesun relents with, "Yeah. Sorry. My girlfriend said she's been feeling some doubts recently. I came down here to clear my head but -- I don't think it's working much."

Jinki breathes out quietly. Everyone around him has some sort of relationship issue, he realizes. Kibum and Minho, Taemin and Jongin, Jonghyun and Kibum. He's the only one who's always been alone.

"Tell me more about it. Maybe we can work out a solution together." Jinki offers, and he leans back on the sofa to get more comfortable. It looks like Taesun's got a story to share.

And share, he does. He's been with the same woman for about five years now, someone whose been at his side since he first joined the army. Her parents had been against her waiting for him, since his was a high risk job, but she'd been patient and understanding in a way that Taesun doesn't feel like he's deserved.

"This may be a dumb question," Jinki admits quietly, at the end of Taesun's reflections,

"but do you think she's waiting to see if you want to marry her?"

Which may sound silly, but Jinki kind of sees her side if that's the issue. Waiting so long and feeling uncertain in their relationship might have taken a toll on her, as patient and understanding as she's tried to be. No one really likes feeling like they don't belong; and sometimes just a little bit of reassurance stating the opposite is all anyone needs.

Taesun breathes out, chuckling under his breath,

"That would probably explain why she's been showing me so many wedding brochures."

He groans afterwards, like he can't believe himself for missing something that should have been more obvious of him in regards to his girlfriend. Jinki smiles, and he's hit with the realization that Taesun and Taemin are a lot alike. Both are geniuses in their own right and kind, but can overthink a problem and skip over the most obvious solution.

"Thanks, Jinki." Taesun murmurs with a hand on his knee, a friendly show of affection,

"Now I get why Taemin likes to talk you up."

Flustered by the unexpected compliment, Jinki bows his head and rubs at the back of his neck.

"No problem," he says as he makes to stand up, but Taesun's hand moves from his knee to his arm, a steady weight to keep him still.

"He's also told me that he's been very worried about you lately." Taesun says, like Jinki was merely interrupting part of a conversation that wasn't as over as Jinki had thought it was.

"Why would he be worried about me?" Jinki asks, his gaze pinpointed to where Taesun's hand is. He's itching to remove it, and to escape from the room that feels like it's closing in on him.

"Maybe you should talk about it. At least once, to get it off your chest." Taesun offers, and Jinki turns to stare at him.

He feels like he shouldn't, because why would he tell Taemin's brother before he tells his own best friend? And because he doesn't want to be made to feel small if this was something Taesun would make fun of him for. But when he feels the warmth in Taesun's gaze, Jinki lets it spill.

"I... was diagnosed with voice nodules this past summer." Jinki tells him, his words being swallowed by the darkness of the night surrounding them,

"I had surgery, and my recovery went well, but my doctors said it's not likely I'll be able to sing again."

Taesun is quiet, but his hand squeezes on Jinki's arm to ground him. As intended, it gives him the courage he needs to keep forcing his words out.

"We all bonded because of our love for music; especially me with Jonghyun and Taemin. I feel like if I told them, I'd let them down -- that they'd feel like I'm just holding them back."

Jinki is nearly a blubbering mess at the end of this, his hands covering his face as his breathing becomes errati, mixed in between harsh hiccups.

All of a sudden, the lights are ; and there's Jonghyun standing outside of his room with tears running down his face. He's not all, either. The rest had probably just come out because Taesun and Jinki weren't as quiet as they should have been, and they've all got expressions that vary in concern as they watch the pair on the sofa.

He gets up, unsure if he should escape or apologize for concerning them, but before he can take a step in any direction, his friends are on him. Minho's always the first to react when he feels as though someone needs an embrace, and this isn't an exception. His arms are solid, secure, as they wrap him up tightly. Kibum is sniffling even as he rubs Jinki's back, and Taemin's doing that awkward thing where he tries so hard to make the situation less tense by messing with Jinki's hair and making faces. When Jonghyun finally manages to let go of the door he's clinging to and step closer, Kibum and Minho have both reached out and yanked him into the group embrace.

And while he'd been so scared of telling them the truth about what was happening to him, he should've known they wouldn't love him any less for it.

hiiii. welcome to chapter 3. please let me know if you have any comments or concerns. i don't really have any idea of what i'm doing here and any feedback would help me out greatly. i'll see you guys next weekend. :- )