Song recommended: Slow Motion - Charlotte Lawrence

 

"Good luck, unnie."

 

"Thanks, Minju."

 

She feels sorry for the younger because she could only display her bitter smile to her.

 

"Don't get hurt, unnie."

 

She pauses her step and turns her head to the girl on her right.

 

"Alright."

 

Another bitter smile was shown on her face. She doesn't want to stay longer there so she get onto her two feet, leaving them behind, and joins her team at the field.

It feels like you are mocking me, Yuri.

 

*** *** ***

 

"Heol. Everyone is crowding. There's no space left at the audience seat." Gaeun comments as her eyes wandering around.

"Well, it's the most awaited event after all." Hyewon replies. Her ears start to hurt from those loud cheering to their favourite team. In those crowds, she still can spot that one girl easily, the main character in her mind right now. Yuri and the others are sitting at the front line. Hitomi and Nako are there too. Hyewon waves happily to them and they reply the same. At the same time, her eyes coincidentally lay on Yuri and it shocked her when the girl smiles. It's the same smile she received before which she thought it will be the last time.

 

I guess... the future will not be that bad, right?  I still can see that smile even though it's no longer for me.

 

Gaeun turns to her team members and claps her hands to gain their attention.

"Alright, let's do our best. I will be the first runner, Hyewon is second, Chaewon will be our third runner and Yena.." She points at the blonde girl with her pinned stare.

"You are the last runner. Don't mess it up." Gaeun's tone is more like a warning.

Yena stands straight and lifts up her hand, saluting to the class leader.

"I promise I won't." She grins.

 

Chaewon watches the girl quietly and turns her head away a few moments later. Anxious feeling creep her in and she hate it so much right now.

 

"All the runners, please be ready at your position."

 

Her heart starts to thump wildly as well as the crowd cheers get louder.

Why am I worried so much?

She holds her pounding chest. It feels like her heart gonna explode sooner.

 

"Hey."

 

Her shoulders jolted up by the voice. Her hands fall back to her side.

 

"You looked so nervous."

 

Chaewon could not answer it. feels stuck.

 

"I hope the plan goes well." The husky voice continued.

 

Chaewon presses her lips together. She tries so hard to keep the overwhelming inside.

 

"For both of us."

 

Her chin is lowered to the chest. Her voice seems so heavy to come out but she still forces it out later.

 

"Unnie."

 

"Hmm?"  The older turns to her.

 

"Be happy."

 

Her voice cracks at the end but the older was not aware of it because of the loudness around them. Chaewon's shoulders are sagging when a soft tap was given on it causing her to look up.

 

"Thank you. Be happy too, Chaewon."

 

As in a slow-motion, the older sends her off with the brightest smile she could ever receive and it really hits different. It was the same smile the older would portray whenever she saw Yuri. 

 

What is this, unnie?  Why did you give me that look now?

 

Everyone around her begins to scatter to their assigned position. Even she doesn't want to, her legs keep moving to her assigned position, the third runner. Chaewon throws her dazed look to the starting line from afar with a lot of thoughts in her mind. 

 

"On your mark!"

 

What should I do now, unnie?

 

"Set!"

 

Is this what I want?

 

The gun blew up and the first runners start to dash forward. Every step is carried along with loud chants from the audience. Chaewon witnesses her class leader chasing the runners in front of her. As the girl gains her momentum, one by one is getting passed and now the class leader is in second place.

Chaewon turns her head to her front, looking at the blonde girl standing 100M away from her.

 

What should I do with my feelings right now, unnie?

 

In the middle of Chaewon's monologue, the baton is already in Hyewon's hand. The girl pumps her legs, gaining her speed with each push. She accelerates as if there is her favorite cake in front of her. As if she's getting chased by Chaeyeon because of being lazy in the training. As if...

 

She's chasing her precious girl.

 

Who keeps going farther away.

 

"Chaewon!" Hyewon's yell reaches Chaewon's eardrum and she quickly turns around. The girl is now 50M away and approaching her. That loud call was a sign for her to get herself ready.

 

'I would die for her.'

'Chaewon ah, I confessed to Yuri.'

'You will support me no matter what, Chaewon?'

'You are my precious friend.'

 

The baton is now passed to her at good timing as her body is already ready to build up the speed. As her steps pounding in time with her heartbeat, she's on now neck on neck with the leading runner that she barely recognized because her attention right now is fully on the blonde girl she's running to. She only can see that girl right now. Only her. In the middle of the noisiness and the intense, only that one voice stuck in her mind.

 

"GO CHAEWON! YOU CAN DO IT!"

 

Tears start to pool up in her eyes.

 

Unnie, why do I feel like I'm gonna lose you after all this?

 

Her eyes are too blurry right now she could not see anything. Her speed is still consistent but the blurry vision she had now is distracting her focus.

When Chaewon shut her eyes for a few seconds in hope that the tears will drift away quickly, a sudden picture of the precious smile appears in her mind.

 

 

'Be happy too, Chaewon.'

 

 

Unnie, as long as I can see that smile, I will be happy. Even though, the wound won't stop bleeding and will get worse from now on, I will put on my mask, smiling widely to you, unnie and wish for the best to you.

Yeah.

As long as you happy, Yena unnie.

 

"Chaewon!!!"

 

She opens eyes wide to the shout coming from Yena. It's too late for her to realize that she was out of her track and could not control her balance when her shoulder suddenly bumps into the opponent on her right who is trying to pass her. In the end, both of them lose their balance and fall into the ground in a dramatic way causing the audience in awe.

 

"Chaewon!!!"

 

Yena was so shocked but her body quickly storms to the girl who was only 5 meters from her but Chaewon refuses to accept her help and instead, the girl pass the baton into her hand in seconds.

 

"Finish it up, unnie!"

 

"But-"

 

"JUST GO!"

 

Chaewon shouts her lung out and pushes the older away that urges Yena to obey. She abruptly pushes herself forward with the skills she gained from all those training she had before, gaining her full speed, and dashes to the finishing line with a heavy heart.

Chaewon can't see what happened next as her vision is fully blurred by her pouring tears. She stares down at her bleeding knees with an empty mind and could not feel anything else other than pain. Both, in her heart and her body.

"Chaewon! Are you alright?" Hyewon was the first one to arrive at her side before getting swarmed by the other students after the race finish.

"Unnie!" The other members arrive too but all of them went silent after seeing the trembling body sobbing so hard while circling her knees with the arms. Their eyes are going back and forth between each other in sorrow. 

"What should we do? Her injury looked so bad." Minju's voice is shaky plus her trembling hand covering . Yujin rubs her shoulder to comfort her but keeps on staying silent because she's too in the same reaction.

"Everyone please steps back, we need to give them some space." Chaeyeon speaks up and veryone did as told. She then approaches the runner that was involved in the accident too first and checks on her carefully. The girl only received a small injury compared to Chaewon. Because she is an athlete so Chaeyeon guesses she learned the correct way to control her body when falling down to minimize the injury. Chaeyeon asks Sakura to call the medical team before coming closer to Chaewon. That time, she gestures to Hyewon a small nod, and the older back away to give her some space with Chaewon.

"Chaewon, I need to check your injuries for a while." she drops her one leg beside the crying girl.

The girl didn't respond to her and keep on sobbing. Chaeyeon knows the girl is unstable in emotion so it is best not to speak more. Instead, she inspects the injuries silently. The pant ripped at both knees part but the right one has more bloodstains. It explains the injury at that side might be the most serious. This is possible to happen because Chaewon was at her high speed when she fell and her position while falling down was definitely awful. The way she stumbled into the track and her knees touch the ground first, of course, it will give the worst impact on those parts. Chaeyeon believes the girl also hurts her palms.

 

"We should wait for the medical team to treat her."

 

"No!" 

 

Everyone turns to the voice interfere.

 

"What do you mean no, stupid?!" Hyewon remarks furiously but Chaeyeon calms her down before she walks closer.

 

"Why, Yena?" She demands an explanation. The other also want to hear it too.

 

Yena took some time to gain back her stable breathing before entering the scene. Yuri keeps on staring at her as the older walks past her.

 

"I will bring her to the nurse's office." Yena kneels down in front of Chaewon and cups her cheeks to make the girl meet her eyes.

 

"Unnie, she can't even walk-"

 

"Yes."

 

The older cut Yujin off before she smiles at the girl with puffed red eyes and a wet face in front of her. Her fingers gently wipe the tears off.

 

"Get on me, I will carry you to the nurse's office." She speaks in an undertone only for that one girl to hear it. 

 

Gonna remind to all that this is a Sport Day located at such a big field occupied by almost thousand of students but right now it turned to a library as the crowd watching the blonde girl helping a short brown haired girl getting up slowly before she piggybacks her and left the scene as if they were not there at all.

 

"What is this all about, man?"

 

"Heol... both of them just left like that?"

 

"Are they dating each other? Did you see how Yena unnie care for her just now?"

 

Both of the girls become a topic among the crowds while the members? They were speechless with dazed looks on their face.

 

*** *** ***

 

Chaewon cannot help herself to stop the tears from falling down and Yena's shoulder is wet and warm because of it.

 

"Are you still crying?" The tone used by the older is still the same as before. So soft and calm that tortures Chaewon inside slowly. There's no more sobbing but Yena can feel the wet on her shoulder.

"Is it hurts that bad?" The older pursue her questions as the previous didn't get answered back. She feels a slow movement on her shoulder that she believes it's a nod based on the way it moves.

"Hang on. We are almost there." The same tone as before makes Chaewon's tears to drip again. Chaewon swears to herself she already tries her best to hold it in but she doesn't know why they won't listen to her.

 

"Unnie.."

 

Due to so much crying and sobbing, her voice totally cracks but Yena can hear it clearly because the girl's lips are so close to her ear that she can even feel her slow warm breath blowing to hers. She hums so the girl gets the hint to continue.

 

"Why did you do this?"

 

Yena is not the type of person that can capture words so fast but this time, her mind works so well she understands what the girl tries to say. She slows down her steps to focus on the conversation.

 

"I know you hate receiving such attention. If I were you, I would feel the same too."

 

Yena was right. Chaewon hates that kind of situation so seriously that she did not want to remember the incident they had on her first day here.

I hate the fact that you know me too well, unnie. How can I let the feelings go if you keep doing this?

Oh-

 

"Did we win?" Chaewon recalled the deal.

 

"Chaewon ah, is the race so important to you even after all this?"

 

Because it will decide the future, unnie. 

 

"Did we?" Her heart can't stop thumping as she waits. 

 

"Before I answer that, can you answer my question first?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

Yena hops a bit to get back her grip on the younger behind her.

 

"Are you really this heavy?"

 

"Put me down. I can walk by myself." Chaewon pulls herself away and fights hard to be put down but the older doesn't budge at all. The grip is tighter than before and with another hop from Yena, Chaewon spontaneously back to clasping the older's neck due to the force received.

The older chuckles afterward.

 

"Give yourself a break, Chae. You are in pain right now."

 

Chaewon understands the older is trying to reassure her after what happened but she doesn't know why the words cut her deeper.

 

Is it because of her tone? Or is it because she suddenly being caring than ever?

Actually, it's both.

 

Both of them allow the silence to fill up the journey and it is somehow comforting and Chaewon wishes the moment would last forever. The warmness emitted from the skinship she had and the gentle hold on her body by the older, Chaewon feels so safe right now.

 

 

"Eh? No one is here?"

They realized that it was just two of them in the room when they arrive. No nurse is around.

Yena puts the girl down on one of the bed and makes sure the girl settle down comfortable before she roams around the room, searching for the first aid kit. When she found it, she makes her way to the girl on the bed, pulls the nearby chair closer, and drops herself down on it.

Chaewon just pins her stare towards Yena as the girl opens up the box and rummage through it. If there is anyone else in that room, that person can tell easily how deep is Chaewon falling towards the girl in front of her right now. Because no one else is there, she doesn't need to hide her expression at all but unfortunately, the older was too concentrated on her job to realize it.

 

"Unnie-"

 

"I know what you are thinking."

 

The older mutters without looking. She's busy arranging all the needed equipment for the treatment. Chaewon gasps in silence.

 

Does she know?

 

She could just think of the worst right now.

 

The older looks up to her with a serious expression.

 

"Look, I might look stupid but I hope you count on me for this. I learned about how to handle this situation not long ago so yeah, you know.. I can give it a try."

 

Abruptly, Chaewon lets out a sigh of relief gaining a furrowed eyebrows from the older.

 

It's still way too far to put that kind of expectation to this unnie. Wait, what did I expect? Her to notice my feelings?

In your dream, Chaewon.

 

"So, that means a yes?" Yena asks for confirmation.

 

"If anything happens to me, I know who to haunt."

 

"Well, getting haunted by a cutie is a bless." The older casually reply while heading to the sink to wash her hands.

 

Chaewon rolls her eyes and Yena giggles when she notices the reaction. Quit the talking, the older turns serious again when she gets back to the bed and starts to examine the wounds.

"You scrapped pretty bad." She comments while dipping a few pieces of cotton wool in water. She waits for a sign from Chaewon before starts cleaning the wound besides removing any debris to avoid infection. It hurts so much Chaewon just shut her eyes and hissed throughout the time.

 

This is what you get when you were not being careful. Screw yourself, Chaewon. Getting lost in the middle of the race and embarrassed yourself in front of others.

 

She hung her head in shame and sighs heavily as she recalled back the stupid mistake.

 

"About the question you asked..."

 

Chaewon flinches in spontaneous as well as snapping back to reality not only because of the sudden dialogue, also the sting she received as the older is applying the antibiotic ointment right now.

 

"Sorry.." The older mutters.

 

"It's okay.."

 

The older continues what she's doing but with extra care this time.

"About the race, we got second place." Yena continues. She felt weird for not getting any verbal response after that so she pauses her job and looks up at Chaewon. What she sees now is somehow a guilty (?) expression.

"We lose." Chaewon presses her lips together and lowers her gaze.

"It was an intense race." Upon saying that, Yena takes out the bandage from the first aid kit and starts to dress the wounds as the last step. She was glad that only the knees got scrapped. She initially thought that Chaewon would hurt her palms too but she didn't.

"I was so close but Eunseo unnie did better at the end." Yena chuckles as she finishes up her job. She lifts up her gaze and starts to panic when she notices tears falling down from Chaewon's face.

 

"Why are you crying?!"

 

Chaewon covers her face with her palms and again, she sobs hard, harder after the older spoke. She blames herself for what happened. Everyone is working hard in the race and she messed it up because of her silly mistake.

 

"It was all my fault."

 

"Not at all, Chae."

 

"No. It's really my fault. If I didn't lose my focus that time, if I be extra careful, if only I did them, it wouldn't turn out like this and we would have win and you.." She presses her palms into her chest, try to suppress sorrow in it.

 

"Will confess to Yuri." her thick voice throbs Yena's heart suddenly. That makes the older restrains herself to speak for a while.

 

Honestly, there was something that runs in Yena's mind. Those glassy eyes, she caught the sight of them during the race because Chaewon was looking at her while running and suddenly the girl closed her eyes.

 

But why? She must know it was dangerous but why she did that? What made her break down like that?

 

Too bad, Yena doesn't have the guts to ask the girl about it. She knows her place and she believes Chaewon will not be comfortable sharing it with her at the first place. This girl keeps everything inside securely. That's why her heart broke watching the girl in this state.

 

"I'm sorry, unnie."

 

The younger breaks the silence but her sobbing doesn't end yet.

 

"Don't be. Things like this can happen, Chae. I already prepared a second plan in my head even before the event start." The blonde girl beams her smile.

"Second plan?" Chaewon looks at the older nodding to her confidently.

"Yes. I will still confess to her at the end of this Sports Day."

 

So it turns out like this.

 

Chaewon wants to ask something but Yena proceeds further.

"At first, I thought if we lose, that's the end but there is something about her words before that so I made up my mind I will confess to her no matter what." The tightly clenched hands on the older's laps prove to Chaewon that the girl is serious about it.

"Good for you, unnie." A bitter smile was portrayed on her face as she speaks.

 

Pain for me.

 

"Hmm, how about you? Will you still confess to Minju?"

 

The younger turns her head to other places. She tries to hide her teary eyes.

 

Dear self, why are you so weak today? This is not you. This is not supposed to be shown to others especially her. Where is your mask? Did you drop it on the track?

 

"Hey-"

 

"I won't. I already lose so I won't."

 

Chaewon cut her off with a flat voice that hides thousands of emotions inside.

 

It's the end. I already lose.

 

"Hey, you should not give up easily-"

 

"Unnie."

 

The older presses her lips when the younger turns back at her and her teary eyes are revealed.

 

"Don't bother about me. Stop being so kind."

 

Chaewon bites her lower lips to hold back the peak of feelings inside her right now before continues to speak.

 

"And please. Make it work. The confession."

 

So I can slowly move on from this feeling .. as if it will go away as easy as I speak.

 

"Chae.."

 

"Stop."

 

"I don't know what happened but-"

 

"Of course you don't, you would not know it forever."

 

"Because you never tell me-"

 

"Even if I tell you, it won't change anything!" The younger raises her voice and at that moment, she burst into tears, again.

Yena freezes at her place with her tongue seized up, unable to form any words. It was her second time to get that loud yell after that 'just go' on the track earlier and for the second time, it causes her brain to malfunction, and she was just obedient to the silence at the end. However, this time, the crying scene gets worse and Yena notices how the younger try to catch her breath hardly in between and Yena feels she need to do something about it.

 

I don't know but why I felt like it was me who made her like this.

 

She slowly moves to the girl's side on the bed, lifts her both arms and slowly surrounds the girl's trembling body before pulling it closer to hers. Receiving no refusal, she brings her right hand to the girl's silky hair and caresses them gently. She doesn't care if her shirt gets soaked with tears, mucus or whatever, just let it be. What's the most important to her right now is this precious person who she called a friend. A precious friend.

 

 

 

Little did they know, a person is watching them all through the small door window with tightness and burning sensation in her chest and stomach.

 

What is this? What am I looking at right now? Why Yena unnie was so caring to her when she never did it to anyone and even towards me? What is this feeling I'm having right now? Was it a defeated feeling? Hurt? Jealous?

 

She clenches her jaws and her breathing becomes faster and coarser. Can't stand the view, Yuri storms away with no destination in her mind. It turns blank and dazes in no time but her heart, there is a storm arising right now.

 

"Yuri."

 

She looks forward and it was Hyewon standing in front of her right now, with worry on her face.

 

"You disappeared suddenly so I went to find you. Are you ok-"

 

"Unnie."

 

The younger dashes forward and Hyewon was clueless and losing her guard when her collar getting pulled by the younger abruptly and...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their lips crush each other.

 

 

 

 

 

A few seconds later, Yuri pulls it back and with her red, defeated eyes flashing at the stoned girl in front of her, she mutters..

 

 

"I made my choice. I choose the second option."

 

 

****

[Writer's note]

I just want to say..
F-  my grammars and vocabulary.