Junmyeon’s heart was pounding in his ears. It was a cliche way to describe how hard his heart was pumping blood through his veins and how much adrenaline was course through his body, but that’s exactly was happening and he was focusing on that instead of you. Because he was alone with you, walking closer and closer to the trees, away from the house filled with prying eyes and overly sensitive ears. It was a good thing he was rather disciplined in self control. It was taking every ounce of it just to not grab your hand again, to intertwine his fingers with yours.

The air felt nice against his skin, a gentle breeze just strong enough to tickle his nose with your scent. It was a soft scent, comforting and warm.

God, he just wanted to pull you in and bury his nose into your neck, just memorize the way you smelled.

Clearing his throat, Junmyeon kept his eyes bouncing around the branches that were either full of dark green leaves or covered in sharp, sturdier pine needles. “So, where were we?”

You stopped, cocking your head to the side as Junmyeon turned to look at you. Had he said something wrong? He’d said four words, how could he be messing up already?

“Before that,” you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, avoiding his gaze, “can I ask a different question?”

Junmyeon nodded earnestly. “Yes. Of course, you can.”

“Why are you okay with me knowing?”

That… was not expected. But then again, maybe he should have. From his point of view, of course it made sense for him not to be worried about you knowing his secret. As his mate, he could only be happy that you knew. But you didn’t know that part. There was so much more that you didn’t know.

“I think…,” taking in a deep breath, Junmyeon let it out slowly. “I think it’s because, my whole life, it’s been this big secret that I’ve been carrying around. Even with my pack to share it with, it’s still a heavy burden to bare. The amount of people who don’t know about us outweighs the ones who do - by a significant amount. Being found out is a constant fear in the back of our minds. To have you discover that heavy secret and not run away or call me a monster…” he turned to you, unable to fight the grin that was stretching across his face. “That’s the greatest feeling I’ve felt in a long time.”

You were staring at him open mouthed. The speech came out a little more impassioned than he’d meant it to, but it was the truth. The fact that you just accepted what he was - and even seemed fascinated - had lit a fire inside of him. How lucky could he be? How could he have ever dreaded the situation he’d been into. As long as they treaded carefully, this could work just fine. And you were in your last year of college so soon, so that little detail wouldn’t be an issue at all.

“That,” you sighed, “makes me sad.”

“Sad?” Junmyeon gasped. “Why?”

You shrugged before continuing to walk. “You have to hide who you are, constantly looking over your shoulder or worrying about someone not-so-friendly finding out about you and your pack. And as the alpha, that burden is even bigger for you, since you have to protect everyone else as well.” A teasing smirk played on your lips. “That being said, you might want to watch what you talk about in your office. That door isn’t sound proof.”

“That was pure luck on your side,” Junmyeon argued. But it was true. He would have to be a little more careful going forward. He was lucky that it was you outside the door and not someone else. Someone with more sinister intentions.

“Speaking of which….”

You were now walking backwards, facing him as you did so. Junmyeon wanted to reach out and turn you around, considering how unsafe it was. But that was a boundary cross and Junmyeon didn’t want to be too forward. Not yet. Hopefully, his reflexes would catch you in time if anything happened.

He raised an eyebrow. “Speaking of?”

“Thursday when I found you,” you continued, “you seemed surprised when I said that I overheard you talking in your office. If you didn’t know I was there, why did you want to see me in your office after class that one day?”

Junmyeon couldn’t help it. He laughed deeply, nearly to the point of tears. “You’d dropped your paper off at my office. I just wanted to talk to you about why you hadn’t dropped it off in class and that from then on to slid it under my door if that ever happened again. I hardly ever actually check my mailbox outside my door. I just happened to see the corner of your paper sticking out. I have a strict ‘in class only’ turn in policy, but I let it slide that one time. I just wanted to explain all that to you. I figured it’d be better not to have that conversation in front of other students.”

“Oh.” The tips of your cheeks were turning slightly red. What had you thought he was going talk to you about?

Before he could ask, your foot stepped on a medium sized rock just right, making you lose your balance. If Junmyeon thought his reflexes would be enough catch you before you fell, he was half right.

He did catch you by your wrist, but you were already too deep into the fall and you took Junmyeon with you, instinctually grabbing onto his sleeve with your other hand as you went backwards.

You landed hard on your back judging by the gust of air that was pushed out of your lungs. Junmyeon was barely able to catch himself from squishing you, planting a hand on either side of your head.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. Your chest rose and lowered at a high speed as you stared up at him. If Junmyeon was brave - or even if he was the male lead in one of those romantic comedies where there was nothing holding him back - he’d dip his head and steal a kiss. He was in the perfect position for it and from the way your senses were going crazy, you wouldn’t completely reject it.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Instead, he pushed himself back onto his feet before helping you to your own. You brushed yourself off, keeping your focus on the dirt and grass that was falling from your pants.

“This forest is a bit dangerous,” he joked, just to cut some of the tension he was feeling.

Not yet, Junmyeon. She needs to know everything first. She needs to know what she’s getting into.

Clearing his throat, Junmyeon simply patted you on the shoulder.

Nice.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he pulled his hand back.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You should probably walk forward from now on,” Junmyeon teased. He liked teasing you. The way your nose would crinkle up as you either held back a biting comment or tried to search for one in the first place.

“It was the stupid rock’s fault,” you mumbled as you marched on.

It was impossible for Junmyeon to push back the chuckle that rumbled in his chest. You were too cute as you stomped away, fists clenched tight at your side. For a split second, he actually regretted not kissing you.

In the two strides it took for him to catch up with you, your pout had morphed into a more thoughtful expression. Your mind was obviously circling some sort of thought, but your lips were pressed tight together, giving Junmyeon the impression that you weren’t quite ready to share. So, instead, he gave you another path to follow.

“Is there anything else you want to know?” he pressed. “Like our enhanced senses? Or maybe our super strength?”

You snorted, looking up at him from the corner of your eye. “Super strength? Really?”

Offended by your remark, Junmyeon walked up to the nearest tree, taking ahold of a branch with a decent diameter and snapping it, leaving behind a spiked stump just above Junmyeon’s head. He turned to you, beaming at the sight of your jaw hanging on it’s hinges.

“Impressive, isn’t-”

“What did you do to that poor tree!” You ran past him, examining the splintered edges of the stump.

“W-what?”

You whirled on him. “Couldn’t you just have broken a rock or something? Did you have to hurt the tree? What did it ever do to you?”

“I- uh – well, nothing. I just- um.” Junmyeon was completely lost. When some of his other brothers had shown off their abilities to their own mates, they’d been excited and impressed. You, on the other hand, were just appalled that he’d broken a branch off a perfectly healthy tree.

“Don’t do that anymore!” you ordered, before continuing on the stroll.

Junmyeon smirked. “Yes, ma’am.”

The two of you walked in silence for a moment or two before you sighed.

“Okay, so what else is there?” you asked, looking up at him fully with those deep, curious eyes of yours. At least you weren’t mad at him anymore for the tree incident.

“Um,” Junmyeon scratched the back of his head, thinking as his eyes randomly searched around. “Not much, I guess, except for showing you the wolf.” Finding a good spot to change, Junmyeon headed for the foliage-heavy area. “Wait here.”

Peaking over his shoulder, he double checked that you were obeying. Feet firmly planted on the forest floor, you waited patiently, hands clasped behind your back. Junmyeon sighed to himself as he pulled his shirt over his head. Folding the shirt, he placed it on the ground before ing his jeans.

Clothes piled up neatly to his satisfaction, Junmyeon rolled his shoulders and shifted. Once he was all wolf, he slowly stepped out from behind the bushes.

You let out a small gasp when you first saw him, but your lips soon burst into a smile. Crouching down, you held out your hand… for him to sniff?

Wheezing sounds that he tried to make as close to a laugh as possible with his wolf vocal cords came out as he quickened his steps. Without hesitating, he nudged his forehead against your palm, taking in the warmth and softness of your skin. In this form, he didn’t have to worry about his facial expressions or being too forward. He could just… be.

No wonder Yixing and Chanyeol spent a lot of time with their mates in their wolf forms.

After he took the risk and your palm, he motioned with his head for you to get on. He wanted to take you for a run. He had a strong feeling that you would love it.

“You want me to get on?” you asked cautiously.

Junmyeon yelped happily.

You shook your head frantically. “No, no, that’s okay!”

Pulling back his ears, Junmyeon whined. He tried to look as cute as possible. Maybe he could persuade you.

Plan: Failed.

You had settled back onto the dirt, still refusing to hop on. Huffing, Junmyeon slinked back behind the bushes to change back and get dressed.

“Were you scared?” he asked as soon he was back. Sitting down in front on you, he rested his forearms on his bent knees.

“No,” you insisted. “I just think that might be something to save for another time. And….”

Junmyeon frowned. “And?”

“I have a question that’s been bothering me this whole time,” you admitted, “and you can just tell me that it’s none of my business, but-” you chewed on the bottom of your lip. “You mentioned earlier that it was complicated between the two that came down into the kitchen - and I noticed that Jiyoung, who never hung out with the other guys, suddenly was with Jongdae all the time and I couldn’t help but think-”

“They’re mates.”

You blinked. Twice. “They’re what?”

“Mates,” Junmyeon repeated. “As wolves, we’re pulled to a specific person, the one person who we are meant to be with for the rest of our lives. Our… soulmates. A majority of the pack have found theirs.”

Your eyes widened and your eyebrows raised to almost your hairline. “Wow. That’s… wow.” You clicked your tongue a couple times. “What’s it like- the whole mate thing, that is?”

Junmyeon shrugged. “Depending on the circumstances, it can be easy or hard. Jiyoung and Jongdae definitely didn’t have it easy. And the pull can be overwhelming, emotionally and physically. Sometimes, the personalities clash so much, it feels like World War three.”

Chanyeol and Lanie weren’t always easy to live with considering how opposite they are in personalities. Even Minseok and Jiyeon had had their fair share of explosive discussions.

But sometimes, mates were a perfect harmony.

Ming and Yixing were so cohesive with each other, so complimentary, they almost seemed like the same person at times. Not to mention, Kyungsoo and Dana were like gravity with each other, constantly in sync. Junmyeon only hoped that the two of you could be like that.

You pursed your lips thoughtfully. “With all the secrecy and universe bringing them together without asking and everything, being a mate must be really hard.”

“It has its ups and downs,” he replied honestly with a shrug.

“And I thought regular relationships ,” you murmured.

“Wolves want to find their mates,” Junmyeon corrected. The tone of your voice twisted his stomach. This wasn’t how he wanted this particular conversation to go. “We’re at our happiest when we’re with our mates. They complete us.”

“People don’t complete other people,” you argued.

“It’s different with wolves,” Junmyeon insisted. There was a hostility growing in your voice. He could neither understand it nor find himself able to accept it. “Once we find our mates, that’s it. No one else can come along and make them feel the same way. In fact, if the wolf is rejected by their mates, they will eventually die.”

A long, drawn out exhale escaped through your lips. “Oh. Okay. Wow.” You scratched the side of your head, murmuring, “And I thought I was dramatic my freshman year.”

Junmyeon frowned. “What happened your freshman year?”

“Nothing too bad,” you insisted. “Just idiotic, first-year-of-college stuff. Dated a guy, let him be my world, watched my grades start to tank, and then he cheated on me. At a party, no less. That’s when I decided that as long as I was still in college, I would not date anyone else and as soon as I graduate, I’m out of here.”

The wolf growled ferociously in Junmyeon’s chest. It hated the idea of you going so far away, where he couldn’t be near you, make sure you were okay.

“Where would you go?” he whispered.

You shrugged. “Anywhere I can join a dig site.”

“Dig site?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, a smile growing on your lips. “I want to be an archeologist. I want to help out on dig sites, be apart of the big discoveries. Being tied down in a relationship would just ruin that all over again.”

The miniscule confidence Junmyeon had this morning - if there was any to begin with - was now gone. You didn’t want anything to do with a romantic tie. And Junmyeon didn’t want to be the one to sever your dreams. He wanted to tell you so bad that he was your wolf, your protector, your mate. But he had no confidence to do it. So, for now, he’d have to hold back. Maybe the more you got to know him, the more you felt the pull, the more open to the idea of being mates you would be.

“Do you have a mate?” you asked suddenly.

Junmyeon jumped a little. “Ah, no. I’m not mated.”

It technically wasn’t a lie. He’d found his mate, but he wasn’t mated. You hadn’t accepted him nor were you marked.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly.

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon smiled. “You never know, they could always just be around the corner. Come on.” He jumped up to his feet, holding his hand out for you to take. You did, giving him a few seconds of being able to touch you before you let go. “We should probably head back.”

“Yeah,” you nodded solemnly. “I’ve got homework to do and stuff.”

So, he walked you back through the woods, to the farmhouse where he would once again be surrounded by his mated brothers, all alone.

He saw you to your car, taking you around the house rather than through it. The boys could meet you another time. In the far far future.

It was hard to let you go, to watch you drive away without knowing the full truth. The most important piece of the puzzle. He could tell from the way you looked at him - shyly and reserved - you still saw him as the professor that your body tended to react to. But how to get you to see him as something more? Maybe, rather than letting you go without a fight, he could slowly help you change your mind, help you to decide to stay. But how?

**

By the time he woke up Monday morning, he still hadn’t been able to come up with a clever idea to get you to see him as something more. He shuddered thinking back to his college days. Pink hair probably wouldn’t be the best idea this time around.

Man, he used to be so fearless. He used to go hop the bars with the guys, flirt with any girl who caught his eye, stay out all night until the sun rose high in the sky for the new day. And now he was the professor. The lame, rule-setting professor.

Girls still giggled over him, flirted with him. So, why were you holding him at arm’s length away?

Jongin and Sehun came down the stairs, yawning and blinking the sleep out of their eyes. It was obvious they’d been out all night again. Junmyeon bit back the lecture that was bubbling up on the tip of his tongue.

“You guys really need to get a better sleep schedule,” Junmyeon chastised before taking a sip of his steaming coffee.

Sehun just shrugged while Jongin gave him the once over.

“Are you sure about that sweater?”

Junmyeon looked down. The air was getting chillier as the summer months were melting away to give space for the autumn time. It wasn’t too cold yet, but Junmyeon liked this outfit. Over a white button down, he had on one of his favorite sweater vests. With light purple trim, the pattern consisted of blues and browns, even a little bit of green in the stacked stripes. The patterns seemed random, but it was fashionable, not overdone. At least, that’s what Junmyeon thought.

“What’s wrong with it?” Junmyeon frowned.

“It screams ‘I’m your professor’,” Sehun deadpanned.

“I am a professor,” Junmyeon pouted.

“Weren’t you just complaining to Minseok yesterday that you thought your mate only saw you as her teacher and you wanted to try to make her see you as something more?” Jongin flopped down at the kitchen table, too lazy to make it all the way to the fridge for something to eat. He’d just meet Kimberly for a second breakfast later on.

Junmyeon slammed his mug down on the counter. “That was a private conversation.”

“Nothing is private in this house,” Sehun pointed out.

“No, but you should still respect each other’s privacy,” Junmyeon chastised. “And I don’t think my fashion choices are the reason she only sees me as a professor.”

“But that’s the only time she ever sees you outside of Saturday’s meet up,” Jongin said. And it was true. Class was the only time you ever saw him.

“Kris goes out of his way to woo his mate,” Sehun mumbled as he swiped Junmyeon’s forgotten coffee. “That’s why Kris is the cool one.”

Junmyeon’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

“What?” Sehun shrugged. “It’s true. The two of you as leaders are like opposites. Keeps a nice balance. Kris is the cool uncle that you also respect and you’re-”

“The helicopter mom,” Jongin finished as his rose to his feet.

Sehun gulped down the coffee before leaving the mug in the sink. “It’s okay. We still love you for it.”

The two youngest members shuffled out, leaving Junmyeon alone with his thoughts.

Was he really that lame? The helicopter mom?

Okay, so Kris was “cool” but was he that much better than Junmyeon? Was he really making progress with his mate by showing up out of nowhere?

Tao had been giggling about the fact that Kris took his mate stargazing. Stargazing. After he took her to the illegal street races. If Kris thought that Junmyeon didn’t know about his little late night activity, he was certainly wrong. But as long as Kris didn’t end up in a jail cell, he didn’t care.

Was that little sense of danger the key? Did he need to chip away at the straight-laced image he’d held together so long?

Okay, fine, then. He could do that.

With a pout, he stared at the door that the maknaes had walked out of.

“I can be cool, too.”