The cup of caramel colored coffee that sat in front of you in a wide, white china cup with a matching saucer was starting to lose its steam. You watched the last few little swirls rise into the air and disappear before taking a sip. It was still hot, but not enough to burn your tongue or lips.

It was quiet between you and Ji Yeon. She knew why you’d called and asked to meet without you having to explain. Neither of you knew exactly how to start the conversation. Did you point of the obvious that you and Huan were no longer together? Or did you start with the part about how she knew Kris? Whichever way you went, you needed to talk now, before your time ran out and you had to head back to the apartment.

“Has he moved out yet?” Ji Yeon asked suddenly, slightly startling you. Your own mind was still concentrating on what you should be saying.

You shook your head. “No. I mean, yes, mostly. He’s coming over this evening to pick up the rest of his things.”

All week, Huan had been coming by when you were at school, taking a few items here and there, first emptying out his closet before packing up other knickknacks and random bobbles he had around. The last of his boxes were stacked up by the front door where’d he’d placed them the day before to make tonight a little easier.

“Does he have much left?” she asked.

“No,” you sighed. “Tonight’s the last of it and then he’s giving me his key. I told him he could keep it in case of emergencies, but he said keeping it would be too tempting.”

“That’s understandable.” Ji Yeon glided a finger over her own mostly empty cup, silence falling between you once again.

It took you a few times rehearsing the question in your head, but finally you asked, “When you were talking about me possibly having feelings for someone else, you were talking about Kris, weren’t you?”

Ji Yeon stopped her finger half way around the rim of the cup, frozen in place with eyes widened.

“Uh,” she her lips before blowing out air. “Yeah. I was.”

You were trying to keep down any outrageous assumptions as you continued on. “Did you always know about Kris?”

“No!” Ji Yeon answered frantically. “No, I didn’t even know you two knew each other until Minseok told me that night at the restaurant. I mean, I knew that you were engaged and I knew that Kris had reconnected with an old friend who was also engaged, but I never actually put the pieces together.”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you rested your cheek in your palm. “Then how did you know about… well, about the fact that I had feelings for someone besides Huan?”

A knowing smile crept up on Jiyeon’s face as she kept her gaze down on the table. “I recognize the signs. I went through something similar.”

Your own eyes widened at her confession. “You did?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Not quite as drastic as yours. I’d just been seeing someone for a while. And then Minseok popped out of nowhere. Sometimes, fate has a funny way of bringing the right people together. Unfortunately, there are people who get left behind. People you have to say goodbye to. But, in the end, it’s worth it.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You were slightly in awe of her, the way she looked back on that particular event in her life without feeling like this horrible monster. Would you be able to think the same some day?

“I didn’t know exactly how to it bring up,” she shrugged. “I thought about it a million times, every time you seemed sad talking about Huan. But I think that kind of journey is something we all have to take on our own.”

You couldn’t help the short laugh that jumped out of your throat. “I thought you were a marketing major, not a philosophy major.”

“Hey, I’ve got to make sure those classes didn’t go to waste!”

You shook your head, holding back the roll of your eyes that you desperately wanted to give. For a little while, you let yourself enjoy the moment with the girl who’d become one of your absolute best friends in the whole world. In a few hours, you’d have to face the reality of your situation again.

**

Knock, knock, knock.

Your stomach dropped when you heard that sound from the front door. Why you were so nervous, you couldn’t understand. This was goodbye for good, an inevitability. If this hadn’t happened now, you were sure that it would have happened eventually.

Even without Kris’ sudden appearance, you and Huan would have eventually split, whether due to him constantly pushing back the date or after the wedding when the truth came out about how he felt about that “simple piece of paper”. Unfortunately, telling yourself that over and over again didn’t make it any easier.

Opening the door slowly, you stepped back to let Huan inside.

“You could have just come in,” you told him in softly.

Huan shrugged his shoulders lazily, “It’s not my place anymore.”

Ouch. “I still think I should have been the one to find a new place.”

Wasn’t that how it was supposed to work? You were technically the one leaving the relationship so weren’t you supposed to be the one who vacated the premises?

“No, you were the one who put down the deposit,” Huan countered. “And it’s fine. I’ve got a nice place. You don’t have to worry about me.”

All you did was nod before moving to lean against the wall with your arms crossed in front of you. Watching solemnly, you waited as Huan took his last few boxes of reminders that the two of you ever shared a huge part of your lives together. Once everything was packed up in his car outside, Huan came back for the last time.

“Here.” He held out the key for you to take.

Just before he could disappear for good, you stopped him. “Wait!”

He paused mid step before glancing at you over his shoulder. “What is it, (y/n)?”

This wasn’t really a question that you should be asking, but the thought had been nagging at you and you didn’t think you could handle not knowing.

“Would it really have been that bad? Being tied to me for the rest of your life?”

The look on Huan’s face read total and utter defeat. “(Y/n), I would have spent the rest of my life with you. I never lied when I said I loved you. I just… I’m the not husband kind. That word holds no meaning for me. So, please, don’t think that it was your fault. I hope- whoever you end up with, I hope the two of you are happy and he can give you what I couldn’t.”

With that last declaration hanging in the air, Huan left the apartment and therefore your life.

**

You sat on your couch staring at your phone. It’d been a little over a week and a half since you last saw Kris on the boardwalk. You’d told him that you would call him once things were sorted out with Huan and yet, here you were, still giving him radio silence. The excuse you were hiding behind was that starting something with Kris just seem inappropriate and insensitive to Huan, even if he was fully expecting it.

You wanted to run to Kris. You wanted to be with him and not care about social graces or what people might say or think about you. Why did they have to dictate your happiness? You didn’t even know that many people here beyond Huan’s coworkers and a few people from the university. 

That was it.

Picking up your phone, you pressed call on Kris’ contact and placed the speaker up to your ear. The line only rang three times before sending you to voicemail. He deliberately ignored your call. Was he that mad at you?

Honestly, if he was, you couldn’t blame him. You hadn’t answered the few times he’d tried to get a hold of you either through text or by calling you.

A pounding came from your door about ten minutes later, making you jump. Glancing at your phone, you made an educated guess as to who that could be.

Sure enough, when you opened the door, Kris was standing just outside, his chest heaving up and down. Why did he always have to be so winded, like he couldn’t waste a single second to get to you?

“Why didn’t you return my calls?” he demanded.

“I-” In your head, your excuses sounded perfectly reasonable. But now, you were almost scared of how Kris would take it once you voiced it into the air. “I didn’t think it was right to rush into this. It was only three days ago that Huan officially gave me the key back. I just… thought we should give it some time.”

Kris groaned, “I didn’t ask for you to make us official on any social media page, (y/n). Just to let me know what was going on with you. We can take this as slow as you need to. I just needed to know that you’re okay.”

Now you felt guilty. That particular thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. Of course he was just worried about you. You’d ended an engagement that used to mean the world to you.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, hanging your head. “Things are just happening to me left and right lately that I guess certain things are just-” You didn’t even know how to finish that. Did your mind even work anymore?

“Shhh.” Kris stepped inside, shutting the door behind him before cupping your cheeks with his hands. “It’s okay. I’m here now. That’s all that matters.”

You threw your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest. “I don’t want you to ever leave. Is that insane?”

Instead of answering you, Kris scooped you up and carried you over to your couch. Once you were settled in his lap, he leaned you back so he see could your face.

“I’m never going to leave you,” he promised. “I’m going to marry you someday and keep you by my side forever.”

You weren’t sure why, but you started to tear up at Kris’ vow. As much as you treasured and grew from your relationship with Huan, you wished that you had never been separated from Kris, that you could have spent all this time growing by his side instead. He was what you needed all along. The way your body was responding being close to him like this and the way your mind was telling you that this was what home felt like, you knew that this was where you belonged.

Reaching up to Kris’ face, you traced the space under his eyes with your thumbs. The skin was soft and warm, just like him. Not taking any more time, you pulled Kris in closer, capturing his mouth with yours as you adjusted to straddle his lap. Kris didn’t hesitate to return the kiss, steadying you with hands as they rested on your lower back.

When he pulled away for a breath of air, he whispered, “Where-”

“Down the hall.” You didn’t need to wait for the end of his sentence so give your answer.

Kris picked you up and carefully navigated his way to your bedroom - stumbling only once or twice - kicking the door shut behind him before turning around and sitting down on your mattress with you in his lap once again. You pulled back, fingers playing with the hem of his t-shirt for just a few seconds before ripping the material up over his head.

Before he could return the favor, you resumed the kiss, straightening up on your knees so you were somewhat taller than him. Kris’ hands found their way under your blouse, drifting over your skin teasingly.

“We don’t have to do this yet,” Kris murmured against your lips. His eyes were closed and his hold on you was as tight as ever, conveying a very different message than the words that left his mouth.

“I want to,” you whispered back. And that was good enough for Kris, who flipped you over onto the bed. He looked down at you with predatory eyes that seemed more amber than brown before he dived back in to connect your lips once again.

**

Kris was back on that beach. The beach that surrounded the little lake that would mark where his world came to an end. He woke up surrounded by empty beer bottles and a headache pounding his head. Memories of the fight with Jiyoon flashed in his mind, regret weighing on his heart. He needed to get home. He needed to get back to her.

In the true version of events, he didn’t find out about Jiyoon until he reached the farmhouse. Sometimes, he still had phantom pains from the punch Junmyeon had sent to his jaw. But this time, in this place that he somehow knew was a forest created by his dreams but couldn’t escape from, he never made it to the house.

Amidst the trees, lying on the browned leaves and dried twigs, was Jiyoon, hardly recognizable.

Blood covered nearly every inch of her face and her ripped clothing. Claw marks and jagged bites decorated her skin. But she was still breathing.

Kris dropped to his knees, scooping Jiyoon up into his arms. He tried to wipe the blood away from her cheeks, but all he did was smear it, creating a thin coat over her pale, drained skin. She blinked rapidly as she stared up at him, opening and closing with no words audible from .

“I’m sorry,” Kris choked, the tears building up in his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

As Jiyoon opened to speak one last time, her image shifted. Kris gasped, nearly losing his grip.

It was now you staring up at him. You were the one dying, the one losing blood at a rate he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t protect you, like how he couldn’t protect Jiyoon. And he would lose you, too. You couldn’t die. He couldn’t let that happen you.

“Kris,” you whispered. Your blinking had slowed down to the point where you were fighting to keep them open.

“No,” Kris panicked. “No, no, no, no. Stay with me. Please, don’t leave me. (y/n), please, don’t leave me. You can’t leave me.”

You stopped moving. You stopped breathing. Everything around Kris was beginning to fade away. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks, little drops landing on your face and neck.

“You can’t leave me, too. Everyone leaves me. Please,” he begged. “Don’t leave me.”

Like dust in the wind, you crumbled away, slipping through his fingers.  

“NO!”

**

Kris’ sudden outburst in his sleep made you jump. For a while, you’d been trying gently to wake him up, but nothing was working. He was muttering in his sleep and a sheen coat of sweat dotted his forehead.

When his eyes flew open, they searched around frantically until landing on you. Kris pulled you close to him, his arms like a ironclad vise around you, pinning you to his chest.

“You’re still here,” he sighed into your hair.

“Yeah,” you murmured, confused at his statement. “I’m still here.”

After a few minutes of rocking you back and forth, Kris loosened his hold, allowing you to scoot back a little and sit up, still wrapped up in the sheets.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, shaking his head while still lying down. “It was just a bad dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” you volunteered. To scary Kris like that… it had to be bad. 

Kris shook  his head. “No, it’s okay.” He ran his knuckles down your cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

As much as you wanted to believe him, there something you caught in his muttering that was bothering you. “Who’s Jiyoon?”

At first, you thought that maybe he was saying “Ji Yeon”, concerning you as you leaned in closer to hear better. But then you realized that he was saying a different name entirely and you only became more befuddled. He’d never mentioned someone by that name when you asked about the things you had missed in your time apart.

Kris sat up, wide eyed and shocked. “How do you know that name?”

“You said it in your sleep,” you explained, worried about what kind connection could create that type of reaction.

Like a pendulum, Kris dropped his head in his hands before lifting it right up again.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he confessed, taking your hands in his. “But, please, hear me out before you decide, okay?”

The look in his eye was both terrified and strangely calm. “Kris, you’re scaring me.”

“Please, just trust me.” He kept his focus down on your entwined hands, rubbing his thumbs across your knuckles. “Do you remember when you asked me why my family moved away all of sudden? Without any warning?”

You nodded. “Yeah, you’d said-”

Kris visibly swallowed, his Adam’s apple quivering from the movement. “I couldn’t tell you the reason then, but- It was because we were being hunted and it was too dangerous to stay in that area.”

“Hunted?” you echoed. Shaking your head, you started to pull away, but Kris tightened his grip. “I-I don’t understand. Were your parents in trouble or….”

“I’m… I’m not-” Kris dropped your hands, opting instead to grab a fist full of sheets in an attempt to anchor himself down. “I’m not normal, (y/n).”

“Normal?” What was going on? Why was he acting like this? You couldn’t comprehend even remotely what he was trying to tell you. You reached out, resting your palm against his jawline. “Kris, what are you trying to say?”

Letting out a long, desperate sigh, he looked up at you with glassy eyes. “I’m not human. I’m… I can shift into a wolf.”

You dropped your hand, like a dead weight landing between the two of you. “That’s not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be.” He shuffled closer to you, taking your face in his hands to keep your eyes on him. “I’m serious, (y/n). I’m a-”

“No!” You ripped away from his hold, jumping off the bed and grabbing your clothes to get dressed. “You need to stop. There is no such thing as werewolves. I don’t know what has gotten into you right now or what’s so bad that you need to make something like this up, but you need to stop. Now.”

Kris, too, jumped off the bed, rounding to come over and stand in front of you. “(Y/n), listen to me. I’m not joking around. I’m trying to explain you the truth of what I am and the truth about us.”

You gaped at him. “The truth about us?” With the tips of your fingers you started massaging your temples. “What are you talking about?”

Taking your hands in his, Kris urged, “(y/n), look at me.”

You did. And then you screamed.

Bright red eyes shined down at you from where brown had been mere seconds before. Only Kris’ grip on your wrists kept you up on your feet as you tried to scramble back.

“W-what? H-how? N-no, no, no, that’s-” You couldn’t even string coherent words together.

“Sh, sh, (y/n), please.” Kris’ voice cracked as he tried to calm you down. But it was almost complete drowned out by your own mind yelling at you to get away. “It’s still me.”

“How long have you been like this?” It was the only question that you could get to come out, even if it wasn’t the most pressing.

“I was born like this,” he explained. “I’ve always been this.”

You could feel yourself wobbling a bit from this overload of information. How could the little boy you knew be a…. “Even back then?”

Kris nodded. “Yes, even then. But I hadn’t shifted yet.”

“All this time,” you swallowed, feeling that familiar prickling in your eyes, “you’ve been… all this time, and you never told me?”

“There wasn’t any good time to tell you,” he defended. “I needed you to accept me first.”

“Accept you?” you scoffed. “What does that even mean?”

“You’re my mate, (y/n).” A small twitch in the corner of his mouth told you he was holding back a smile at the turn of the conversation. “We were always meant to be. I just needed you to see that as well before I dumped all of this on you.”

You tore out of Kris’ grip and began pacing back and forth. “Mate? W-what does that even mean?”

“It means you were meant for me, I was meant for you, and no one else,” Kris sighed, like that was all the explanation you needed.

“No one else?” you repeated. Then the wheels in your head began to turn. And the conclusion that was being made by that work was horrendous. You stopped your pacing to stare at Kris. “Are you saying that you made me and Huan break up?”

Kris reached out for you. “No, it doesn’t work like th-”

You slapped his hand away. “Get out.”

His eyes widened. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do.” To emphasize just how serious you were, you started picking up his clothes and throwing them at him. “Get out! I don’t want to see you anymore!”

“(Y/n), please!”

“You lied to me!” you screamed.

“I never lied to you,” Kris cried. “I just didn’t tell you everything because I was scared that it would change the way you looked me.”

Throwing your bedroom door open, you whirled on you Kris. “Tell me the truth. If I had never met you again, would Huan and I still be together?”

“I’m not a psychic,” he growled.

“But the only reason I started doubting how I felt about him is because I’m your ‘mate’, right? Because something about… what you are made me. Am I right?”

Kris gave himself a second to pull on his jeans before answering. “Technically, yes, but-”

“Then get out!” You grabbed his arm and pulled until he was across the threshold and out of your room. Kris put up no resistance, making it even easier to get him away. You slammed the door in his face, locking it to keep him from trying to get back in.

“(Y/n), listen to me, please!” he pleaded, banging his fist on the wooden barrier.

You didn’t answer, although the willpower you were clinging to was beginning to waver. Instead, you leaned back against the door and slid down to the floor where you tried to quiet your tears.

Just when you thought everything had become simple, your world was overce again. One plus one no longer equaled two. So much had come at you from all sides, you didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know what was real anymore.

You just needed to be alone. Looking at Kris made it hard to concentrate, to separate all the different emotions that were currently consuming you: betrayal, anger, longing, confusion. You didn’t know if you could be with Kris after this. It didn’t feel like your choice anymore. Yes, he’d once been your best friend, someone that used to give you butterflies and make you smile, but what made those fluttering feelings in your stomach? Was it actually by your own volition? Or was it just this “mate” thing that Kris had said?

After several minutes, Kris went quite, no longer begging you to open the door to let him explain to you whatever else he felt important to tell you now. Now that you’d slept with him. Now that you’d let him in. Would you ever be able to push him out of your heart like you pushed him out the door?

Another few minutes went by before you heard your front door open and close, signaling that you were now truly alone. And that’s when you allowed yourself to cry into your knees.