Kris had been particularly restless tonight with no idea of how to cure it. For the past half hour, he’d just been lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He knew that he needed to see you again, but with your fiancé back in town, the chances being with you alone were slim. All he needed were five minutes, just you and him, so he could pour his heart out and hope that you accepted him.

Part of him wondered if he should just wait for you to call. You’d promised that you would see him again, but you never said when. These past few days of not seeing you were torture. For a second, he thought about heading out to race, to burn off some of this aggression and aggravation, but after Junmyeon spilled the beans on the NOS hookup in his car this morning, the boys were hounding him more than ever to go see him race and he didn’t want any of them following him out there. But he couldn’t just lie here and do nothing.

Saved by the knock at his door, Kris jumped up from his bed and shuffled over to open it up, revealing Minseok and Jongdae standing out in the hallway.

“Yes?” Kris sighed. Please, don’t be another dispute. He really didn’t want to settle another argument over who ate who’s food.

“We’re going out,” Jongdae announced.

Kris deadpanned, “Good for you.”

That just made Minseok sigh. “It was meant to be an invitation. If you would like to come, we’re going into town for a few drinks.”

“On a Tuesday?” Kris chuckled. Not that he could really judge. Kris had done that more times than he could count. He suppressed a shudder at the memory of when that used to be a daily occurrence for him.

“It’s either that or run with the youngsters,” Jongdae shrugged. “Your choice.”

While that was practically blackmail, Kris didn’t hesitate for a second as he grabbed his jacket and followed Conjoined Twin Set Number One down the stairs.

Conjoined Twin Set Number Two was sitting at the dining table, playing a card game. Luhan was obviously winning, but a determined gleam was present in Sehun’s eyes.

“You guys going out?” Luhan asked, turning around in his seat.

“Yeah, you want to come?” Minseok offered.

Luhan shook his head. “Nah, Junmyeon’s not back yet and the young ones want to go out for a run. Someone’s got to keep an eye on them.” He eyed Kris teasingly. “Unless someone else wants to go with them?”

“Nope,” was all Kris answered before he was turning and waltzing through the living room and the front parlor, not stopping before he hit the cooling night air.

Sometimes, he really wished he could change what he was. Not the fact that he was a wolf. That was all he knew how to be and the idea of not having that side of him would be like cutting off a limb. But he wished, at times, that he didn’t have to be the one in charge. Sure, ultimately, this was Junmyeon’s house and he ultimately would make the final decision for the pack, but Kris was still an alpha. It ran through his blood like it ran through his father’s and his grandfather’s, going back generations. The instinct to protect his pack and keep everyone in line was too great at times.

Memories of taking down the hybrid pack danced around behind Kris’ closed eyes. The aggression and need to destroy every last one of them was still just as present as it had been all those months ago. While revenge had been the main motivator in the beginning, as soon as those bastards took Baekhyun, it became about the pack – about his brothers. Any threat to them needed to be taken care of. Watching his brothers get hurt – Kyungsoo, Tao, Sehun, and the others – fueled him even more. His vision had turned to the color of blood because that was what he was after: the hybrids’ blood.

It scared him, the fact that he could get like that. There was very little control when Kris was like that. It was like being in his wolf form, the instincts taking over, only he felt more out of control as he walked around on two legs. His mind was on a single track and nothing could derail it. He hoped he never had to feel that way again.

A hand clapped on Kris’ shoulder, making him jump.

“You alright?” Minseok asked, genuine concern painted all over his face.

Kris nodded. “Yeah. Perfectly fine.”

“Okay.” Minseok didn’t push the issue any further, passing the alpha and going down the steps as he headed for the garage.

Letting out a deep sigh, Kris followed him along with Jongdae and Kyungsoo, who had decided to join them.

Typically, when they went out, they started with Luhan’s bar. But since it was his night off and he was kind of the only good mixologist in that place, they decided to wander around a bit in search of a new place to try.

The first bar and grill they came to ended up just being a meet-up for the guys and their mates. Jiyoung still lived at the farmhouse part time, but she greeted Jongdae like it’d been years since they last saw each other. Kris shot Minseok a sideways glare since he hadn’t mentioned the part about their mates joining them. Minseok just shrugged, giving off an only slightly guilty look.

He didn’t understand. As the first one to find his mate, Minseok never had to feel the stabbing pain that came along with it. The ache that got worse when he was around his brothers who were mated, seeing them so happy and content. It was just a constant reminder that he didn’t have his mate by his side yet. That you were still with someone else and he was still stuck on the sidelines.

Kris kept to the back of the group, letting his eyes drift over every little detail of the buildings and sidewalks as they strolled through the night air.

“Isn’t that (y/n)?” Minseok whispered to Ji Yeon. Kris caught the question and snapped his head up, searching around for you.

Standing there on a raised, wooden platform that led to another row of small businesses, you were half bent over, leaning against the unpolished beams with your forearms.

“(y/n)?” he called out to you.

At the sound of your name, you slowly looked up, meeting his eyes. You didn’t look happy to see him, but you didn’t run away as he ditched the group, taking the stairs two at a time to get to you. Everything about your posture and the way you avoided his gaze screamed that you were in distress, but Kris didn’t know what the cause of it could be. There didn’t seem to be anything physically wrong.

“Are you okay?” he huffed, his breath raggedy more from his worry rather than running up the steps.

You jutted out your jaw like you could actually be tough. “I’m fine.” A cute little huff escaped you as you finally looked at him. “Are you following me now?”

Kris choked back a laugh. Of course you’d jump to that silly confusion. He may have had a plan to be with you, but stalking wasn’t in any of the bullet points. “No. I just happened to be out with my friends. Is that a crime?”

His answer made you deflate your guard against him a little, “No. I guess not.”

You were once again avoiding his gaze. There was a slight quiver in your bottom lip, like you were holding back tears. As gently as he could, he placed his fingers under your chin and pushed it up so you were now looking at him. “Hey. What’s going on?”

You jerked your face away before snapping, “Why?”

“What?” He was completely confused. Why would it be strange for him to ask that?

“Why are you always around?” you demanded, taking him by surprise again. “Why do you keep popping out of nowhere?”

Kris had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Couldn’t you just accept that he would always be there for you, whether through intentional means or by pure luck? “Listen, tonight was just a coincidence. Trust me, this time I did not intentionally seek you out.”

The frown on your face deepened as you exhaled. “But every other time, you have. Why? Why does it feel like you want something more?”

Because he did want something more. He wanted all of you, to himself with no interference. He needed you, to survive, to have meaning, to be more than just an animal. With no resistance from you, Kris grasped your hand, placing your palm against his chest, right where his accelerating heart was. Thanks to his hearing, Kris could hear your own heartbeat. The rhythms matched up perfectly, in sync like they were always meant to be.

“This is how I feel every time that you’re around me,” he confessed, hoping that you would believe his every word. “It’s been that way since I first saw you again in my shop. And when I’m away from you, I can’t function. All I want to do is see you again. You’ve grown into this amazing person, (y/n). And I just want to be with you.”

With a violent shake of your head, you ripped your hand away. You were pulling away from him, denying the truth when it was staring you in the face.

“Please,” Kris begged. “Give me a chance.”

The fight going on inside of you was obvious as you shook your head more, even taking a step back from him. “Huan-”

Screw this. No more soft punches. “You said it yourself that you’re in love with me.”

Apparently, you hadn’t exactly remembered that part of your drunken confession judging by how big your eyes grew. “W-what are you talking about?”

Kris smirked. “That night I came to pick you from the bar? You told me yourself. You complained about me leaving as a kid and that at first it was just a silly crush, but now that you’re in love with me. It’s the same with me.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” Kris took the bold step in pulling you in close to him with an arm around your waist. A small squeal left your throat as you became trapped up against him. If you fought, he’d have to let you go, but you didn’t. You didn’t push him away or protest being held by him even for a second. He lowered his voice to barely a whisper, “I know you feel this, too.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, softly asking, “Why can’t I get you out of my head?”

At the touch of Kris’ palm against your cheek, your eyes flew open. Under his unwavering gaze, you shrank back just a little, but still you didn’t pull away. He tried to convey every ounce of everything he was feeling in the way he looked at you. How much he loved you and wanted you to be happy… with him.

“Fate’s cruel that way,” he finally answered, the words falling out of his mouth like petals on the wind.

Kris couldn’t help it anymore. All resistance had flown away as he gave in. He bent his head to meet your lips and he saw the gate of heaven.

This is when he thought you’d push him away, scream at him, or maybe even run away. But you did just the opposite. You entangled your fingers in his shirt, locking him in place as you pressed in closer.

**

You were kissing him. You were kissing him. And enjoying it. Falling into him with ease.

When Kris had first started to lean down, you knew exactly what he was aiming for and panic had risen up. But as soon as his lips pressed against yours, you melted into putty, unable to resist kissing him back. Because it felt too right. Kisses with Huan never felt like this. None of the usual clichés of fireworks or fire could even come close to describing what drinking in Kris felt like. The two of you molded together perfectly like the sculpted halves the Greek gods had split apart.

As the kiss deepened, one of your hands released your iron grip on his shirt and drifted down his chest, resting there as you felt his heartbeat once again. It was still running its race, faster now than it had been before.

Your lungs were thankful once you pulled away from the kiss. Neither of you spoke, the only noise in the air consisting of your ragged breathing, both your chests heaving up and down as if you’d just crossed the finish line of a marathon. Kris looked down at you with just a slight turn up in the corner of his mouth.

He sighed, brushing his knuckles up against your cheek. “You know, I-”

“(y/n)?”

You gasped when you turned your head.

Huan was standing just a few feet away, your purse and jacket in his hands. He was staring at you, mouth hanging open.

“Huan-” You stopped yourself, biting down hard on your bottom lip. There wasn’t really much that you could say, but you did need to explain this wasn’t on purpose. “Huan, I-”

He didn’t give you a chance. Dropping your things to the wooden boardwalk, he just turned and walked away. You took one step to follow him, but Kris stopped you with a hand on your wrist.

“Don’t tell me that meant nothing to you.” His voice cracked from the desperation he was holding back.

“Kris….” You sighed shaking your head. “You’re right. It did. But I can’t end it like this. I have to talk to him. Okay? Then… we’ll have our own.”

It was visible, the way relief spread out through his whole body. “I’ll take you home.”

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You patted his hand until he let go. “I’ll call you. Okay?”

Kris huffed at your proposal, but he gave in. Kissing your forehead, he gave you one last look before picking up your things and handing them to you.

“I hate leaving you like this,” he murmured.

“I’ll be fine,” you promised. “I’m a big girl.”

He laughed just a little at your declaration. “I’ll wait for you.”

You gave him one last smile before walking in the opposite direction.

It was a good thing that you walked home alone. It gave you time to think. Think about what to say and how to say it. This wouldn’t be pretty.

A part of you felt guilty. None of that was supposed to happen. The thought of Huan actually tracking you down and seeing you kiss Kris had never crossed your mind, not even for a moment while your lips were on your childhood friend’s. But that guilt wasn’t as consuming as it should have been. 

Huan was sitting on the couch when you walked through the door, his face hidden in his hands. Not a single movement came from him when you closed the door behind you.

“Huan.”

He didn’t still didn’t move.

“Huan, please look at me.”

Finally, he looked up. His face was stoic, blank as he stared at you.

“So, this must explain everything, huh?” Huan stood up from the couch, running a hand through his black hair. “That’s why you’ve been acting weird since I got back? You were seeing him while I was out of town? Maybe even before then?”

“No!” You were appalled that he would even suggest that. But - emotionally speaking - he wasn’t entirely wrong. “I mean, I did see him last week, but not like that. I met up with him just as friends. Tonight was the first time that anything like that happened. I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t do something like that to you.”

“And why did it happen, (y/n)?” Huan snapped. His fists were clenching and unclenching by his sides and the muscle in his jaw jumping from the strain he was using as he clamped it shut. “If the two of you have only ever been friends, why did I see you kissing you him? Why did you walk out on dinner? I was just trying to show you that I still care.”

Indirectly answering his array of questions, you said, “We need to talk.”

“Talk?” he scoffed. “I’ve been trying to talk to you.”

“No, you haven’t!” you shouted back. He didn’t actually believe that, now, did he? “I’ve tried to talk to you, but you always change the subject or brush me off. Your idea of talking is to say that you love me and flash me some jewelry or to say that we’ll talk about it months from now, constantly pushing it out further and further. And that’s when I actually do see you.”

“Are you really that unhappy now?” he stalked up to you, reach out, perhaps to grasp your shoulders or hold onto you in some way, but he dropped his hands, changing his mind.

“I just can’t do this anymore, Huan.” It was hard to admit out loud. Being forced into this conversation wasn’t making it any easier. You wished you could have done this a different way. You wished you had done this earlier, like you planned. “I can’t be kept dangling on hope just for it to be pulled out of reach again.” 

Huan looked off to the side before meeting your gaze again. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way. Some things are just out of my control. What can I do?”

“It’s not-” No. You couldn’t lie to him. “It’s not entirely you. Part of it is just… something I can’t quite explain.”

“Kris?” he guessed.

You nodded. “Some feelings just never went away.”

Huan shook his head. “You were a kid when you last saw him!”

“I can’t explain it, Huan!” you argued. “It’s not something I can put into words!”

“Fine,” he grunted, not pushing the subject. “But you said that’s only part? Like I actually had a chance?”

You threw your hands up. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

That was a lie. You just couldn’t bring yourself to let the truth leave your lips. Because you were sure, Kris or nor Kris, eventually you would have snapped. It would have just been a bit farther down the line. 

“What is it, (y/n)?” he groaned. “What did I do that was so bad?”

He apparently couldn’t even fathom what could make you so upset to completely rethink your life and the direction it was going. Was he that blind?

“You keep putting it off!” you screamed. Once the ball started rolling, you couldn’t stop it. “Every time I asked you about the wedding, you just kept it pushing farther and farther out. Would being married to me be that bad? What was the point of even getting engaged? Why do you keep brushing me off?”

“Because I never wanted to get married!”

Your jaw dropped. That… that didn’t make any sense. But he- “Then why did you ask me?”

“Because you wanted me to,” Huan growled. “You dropped hints, your friends dropped hints. I wanted to make you happy, so I did.”

“If you didn’t want to be with me anymore than you should have just talked to me about it,” you said. “That’s what relationships are about. Communication. If you wanted to end it, then you should have instead of dragging me along out here.”

“You can’t really say moving out here was a bad thing for you,” Huan snarked. He sighed as his demeanor changed. “I do want to be with you, (y/n). I’ve never wanted to break up with you. I just don’t see the point in getting married. It’s just a piece of a paper and an expensive party.”

“It’s not just a piece of paper,” you scoffed. “It’s a commitment. It’s not like just breaking up if things don’t work out. You have to work at it. What is so wrong about getting married?”

“I just never wanted to get married,” he sighed. “Some people simply don’t want to.”

“And that’s fine,” you agreed, feeling just the tiniest bit betrayed, “but you should have talked to me about this a long time ago, Huan. Don’t you think that’s something to discuss before making giant life decisions? I feel like I’ve been tricked into living like this.”

Huan shrugged. “You’re right. I just didn’t want to lose you. But I guess I did anyway.”

Folding your arms, you shook your head. “You didn’t lose me, Huan. Life just… took a turn we weren’t expecting.”

“I wish we never had come here,” he admitted. “Maybe it wouldn’t have come to this.”

“I don’t think this place is the main cause. We eventually would have had this conversation. This wasn’t avoidable.”

Huan gave off a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah, maybe so.”

“I’m sorry, Huan,” you whispered.

He nodded. “I am, too.”

Picking up a duffle bag that you hadn’t noticed earlier, Huan headed for the door. “Goodbye, (y/n). I’ll be back to get the rest of my stuff once I find a more permanent place to live.”

“Okay.” You could feel the tears prickling at your eyes and the lump building in your throat. “Goodbye, Huan.”