Jaejoong has been lying comfortably on his sofa while watching a variety show on TV when Changmin phone rings. Changmin’s not here. A while ago, he ordered his best friend, now his lover, to buy him a vanilla ice cream because he’s craving for it. Changmin just left his phone, thinking that he wouldn’t be out for so long.

The screen on the phone displays that it’s Changmin’s mother who’s calling. He thinks it must be important and answers the phone call.

“M—“

“Changmin, son, we need you now. Eun Jin…oh my god…she…she needs a transplant now. Please son, she needs your heart now—“

Jaejoong gasps. Heart transplant. Tears form in his eyes as he begins to understand to current situation now.

“Noona has a donor now!”

 Changmin is Eun Ji’s donor. When Jaejoong drops the phone, accidentally pressing the loudspeaker, the front door opens, revealing Changmin, a container his favorite ice cream in his hands, while smiling brightly at him. But the smile turns to frown when he saw Jaejoong’s tears.

“Jae? What’s wrong?”

“Son, are you still there? Answer me. I know it’s hard for you but we really need you now…”

Changmin sees his phone lying helplessly on the couch and realize that Jaejoong must’ve found out already. It is better this way, I guess. When he glances back at Jaejoong, his heart breaks seeing those beautiful eyes. Even though he’s crying, those eyes will always be beautiful to him.

“…you come now, Min? Mama is so sorry.”

Changmin sighs and slowly walks closer to where his phone is. He puts the container down and picks up the phone then answers. Never once he stopped staring at his lover’s eyes.

“I’m coming, Mama. Wait for me.”

The moment Changmin ends the call, both guys share the same thought.

It’s now or never.

“You can come with me to the hospital if you want.”

“…And watch you die?”

Jaejoong bitterly laughs as more tears flow from his eyes. Changmin sighs. It is a lot harder than he thought it would be. Though he may appear to be so tough on the outside, he only wants nothing more than to break down. He envies Jaejoong of how he could express his feelings easily.

 “Just…please, stay with me now.”

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

J.R.R. Tolkien

*

Jaejoong thinks that life has been a little too unfair on him and Changmin. They just had discovered each other’s feelings, and now it seems that life is tearing them apart already. He glances at the man beside him, who has been so busy playing with his fingers.

“Why am I even coming with you right now?”

The man stops playing with his fingers for a while before resuming what he was doing. He sighs before smiling to his lover.

“Because you love me. Because I need you.”

If you need me, why’d you have to leave? If you need me, you should stay. If you need me, be selfish because I need you, too.

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry, my Jae.”

She secretly watches her son from a far as her heart cracks. She sees his smile which reminds her so much of her late husband. She cries again.

How can he be so strong at times like this?

She watches her son more and her heart breaks seeing his son comforting his obviously broken best friend.

Changmin…you’re the one that needs comfort.

When she sees her daughter’s doctor coming closer to her son, sudden flashbacks comes to her.

When her son walks nearer to the doctor, she sees a little Changmin trying his best to walk closer toward his father.

When the doctor pats her son’s shoulder, she sees a 7-year old Changmin listening carefully to her husband’s lecture about hurting other kids.

When her son’s best friend, Jaejoong, comes clinging to him and shouting him to stay, she sees a 10-year old Changmin protecting Eun Jin from the bullies.

When she sees the doctor looks at her hiding place, she sees her late husband smiling sweetly at her before he passed away.

When she sees Jaejoong breaking down on the floor as Changmin slowly walks away, she sees herself at the same situation when she found her husband had died.

She closes her eyes and let her tears fall.

“I’m such a foolish mother.”

*