update~

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-Always make mama happy

-Spend more time with noona and mama

-Be a better citizen from now on

-Apologize to Jaejoong

-Let Yunho-hyung and Jae have another date

-Buy a gift for Jae

-Make a day to remember with Jae

-Make Jae smile always

-Tell the truth to Jae

-Tell him I love him.

Changmin smiles at the list he makes. Ten days. He still has ten more days to complete his lists, and the first day starts now. Though with a heavy heart, Changmin puts on a very wide smile on his lips as he steps into the ward of his sister.

When he’s inside, he spots his mother standing by the window, looking outside but eyes so far away. He knows his mother is sad, perhaps devastated. She had already lost the love of her life, his father, sooner or later, she would lose another one.

He hugs his mother from the back and rests his head on his shoulder. When he feels how thin his mother has become, Changmin feels crying. How can he make his mother happy when he, himself, is as broken as her? Unknowingly, both mother and son shed tears at the same time.

“Thank you, mama, for everything. I love you so much. You’re the best mama I ever have.”

“Idiot. I’m your only mother.”

His mother chuckles as she turns around and faces her son. As if a very fragile treasure, she gently brushes her son’s tears away. She hugs him softly, at the same time, hums his favorite song when he was still a child.

“Mama is so proud of you, Min. Happiness can’t express how it feels like having a son like you.”

 Changmin smiles after knowing his first mission is a success. So, he decides to make the next two things in his list to be done at the same day.

“Min, did you already tell Jaejoong?”

Changmin glances at his mother whose busy peeling some apple for him and his sister to eat. Right now, his sister is awake and is comfortably lying on her bed between the mother and son.

“Tell Joongie about what, Mama? Minnie?”

Changmin sighs. He thinks of the right word to say. Should he lie or not? He looks at his sister, then back to his mother. Both of them are eying him curiously. His mother even stops peeling.

“No.”

How can I tell him? Even my sister doesn’t know.

*

Jaejoong still can’t get over the day he got rejected by his best friend, though he wasn’t expecting his best friend would accept him anyway. It still hurts like hell. Jaejoong has lost count of how many tears he had shed since the night Changmin left him alone in his house after he confessed.

“I’m sorry, Jaejoong. You’re just a best friend to me.”

“Forget about your feelings for me.”

“It’s for the best, Jaejoong. Believe me.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Goodbye, Jaejoong.”

Changmin, you heartless idiot. No matter how much he tries, Jaejoong cannot stop thinking of that night. He thought that he really heard his heart crashed at that time. The moment Changmin said his goodbye, he felt that he won’t ever see him again.

“It’s for the best, Jaejoong. Believe me.”

“Believe you? How can I trust you when your words denied your actions?”

You were crying at that time, Changmin. Jaejoong remembers how Changmin’s tears fell just like his own. He knows Changmin never meant what he had said. Maybe Changmin loves me too, right? Jaejoong sighs. It’s already late in the night but he doesn’t feel like going home. Who’s waiting anyway? Father and mother are overseas.

So, he continues to walk along the road until his feet leads him to his school. Jaejoong glances at the closed gate and somehow, he feels like sneaking in. He tries to climb up on a gate when a voice startles him and he lost his footing. Before he could even fall and hit the ground, a pair of warm hands and a body hold him securely.

“What are you doing, Jae?”

Changmin asks as he slowly let goes of Jaejoong who hesitantly turns to him but not looking at him. As of the moment, Jaejoong finds the ground more fascinating than his best friend’s eyes.

“I…what are you doing here anyway?”

“I’m being a good citizen—fighting against crime. Guess what? Noona has a donor now!”

Wha—huh?! “Really?!”

Well, that makes him look at his best friend. Changmin chuckles at Jaejoong’s confused expression and as always, he finds it adorable. In a second, Changmin envelops his best friend around his arms and like a mantra, he apologizes over and over.

“I’m so sorry, Jae. I never meant what I said. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Jae.”

“I know, Min. I forgive you.”

*

After the apologies and forgiveness, like any other nights, both guys settle together in Jaejoong’s cozy bed. The weather suddenly is chilly as they ready themselves to sleep. Hesitantly, Changmin turns to his right and the sight of his best friend, who’s slowly falling asleep, greets him. It would be nice of him if he lets the other drift off to dreamland; however, he has something in his mind that needs to be said. Yet, he isn’t sure what would it cost him—them.

“Jae, don’t fall asleep yet.”

Look at me.

Jaejoong stirs and slowly faces Changmin. From all the crying he had made before, Jaejoong’s eyes are red and puffy. His face shows nothing but drowsiness. Changmin, on the other hand, shows concern. He feels so guilty looking at his friend right now. He feels so stupid for making Jaejoong cry.

“You need something, Min?”

Carefully, Changmin lifts Jaejoong’s head and lets it rest on his right arm, making it as a pillow and embraces the smaller one again. After for some time, after knowing Jaejoong’s feelings, having him in his arms without any objections, Changmin the intensity building up. He’s afraid that he might not let go anymore. Without realizing, he’s already holding friend too tight for the other’s comfort.

“Min?”

When Changmin looks at Jaejoong, seeing the frailty in his eyes, the sweet tender Jaejoong that he had always known, the one that needs his protection, he couldn’t stop himself any longer. In a swift moment, Changmin crashes his lips to his best friend, Jaejoong.

For once, Changmin lets go all the trouble in his heart and mind. He forgets the list he made. He forgets everything but the man in his arms. He continues to devour Jaejoong’s lips on his own as he ravishes him with intoxicating touches, contradicting his sweet declaration of love.

“Trust me when I say this, I love you so much, Jaejoong, my Jae.”

Just a little more…

Please, let me have him a little more.

Just for this moment, let me be selfish.

*

By the time Jaejoong opens his eyes, he feels the soreness all over his body, but at the same time, he’s satisfied. He blushes as he remembers the night he had with his best friend—lover. With a smile on his lips, Jaejoong glances at the man, who’s still sleeping soundly. The rays of the sun make him look even more handsome. Carefully, he steps out of the bed bringing the blanket that wraps around his body with him. When he manages to have a single step, Jaejoong couldn’t help but winces at the sudden sting on his lower part. He blushes again.

“…Jae?”

He looks back and widens his eyes. His blush becomes deeper when he sees that Changmin is showing his glory. Surely he had seen the other man being countless of times but definitely not in this kind of situation. No matter how shy he is, Jaejoong just couldn’t look away.

“Liking what you see?”

As if it’s a cue, Jaejoong looks away. Changmin chuckles and slowly hops off the bed and walks straight to his best friend. No. He’s my lover now. My best friend, my lover. Changmin smiles at his own thoughts.

“Mrs. Shim, please step aside. We’re doing our best to save her.”

Shim Eun Jin is rushed to the ER after Mrs. Shim found out the sudden halt of her heart beat. She is devastated knowing that her only daughter stopped breathing right in front of her eyes. She prays to the heavens to make her daughter live—a miracle.

When the doctor comes out from the dreaded room called ER, as hard as she could, she composes herself.

“We managed to revive her again. Unfortunately, we don’t know if she could last long. We need to do it, Mrs. Shim. We had postponed a lot of times already.”

Mrs. Shim cries again. There’s nothing more disastrous than time in this world. It seems like Changmin is needed a lot sooner than expected. Mrs. Shim hesitates for a moment, then dials a number she memorized by heart—her son.

If I pray a little harder, would heavens hear me?

If only time is a friend...

*

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I hope I can update a lot sooner next time~ ^^