*

Shim Changmin, an ordinary college student of engineering, calm, dedicated, strong, feared, and martyr. He’s an ordinary smart, genius as most people call, student in a university somewhere in school. After winning and winning gold medals for every national school academic competition, he becomes the school’s “hero” for bringing pride and achievements. He’s calm in every situation and thinks clearly in any problems. For him, there’s always a solution to everything. He’s dedicated to his family and work. He puts a lot of effort in all hardships in life; he believes he will overcome them someday. He is strong because no matter how many battles he had fought, he still stands firm. He keeps his chin up and people think he is a walking pillar. He is feared because he had fought and won a lot of combats—fist combat, which is. He has already the reputation as a school’s genius delinquent. If he isn’t the pride of the school, he would have already been expelled after sending a student, with hideous bruises and broken bones, to a hospital. He isn’t guilty though. The student was just too stupid to try to mess with him is his reason. Stupid. Changmin would have laughed if he isn’t to engross messing up with his own feeling, because in reality, he is one too. A fool. He is fool because he is a martyr, a martyr forlove.

People say he’s one of those rare kinds with beauty and brain. He doubts that. They say he would have become perfect if he isn’t such a delinquent. He doubts that also. For Changmin, there’s only one beauty and perfect in his eyes—his only true friend, Kim Jaejoong—his total opposite. For him, Jaejoong is the perfect living description of innocence, a real beauty.

Everybody loves his best friend, his pretty best friend. He’s kind, shy, friendly, sweet, clumsy but adorable. Jaejoong is everything that he isn’t. Yet, aside from their differences, they share a very special bond. Unlike those people who judge Changmin at first glance, he is more than glad the Jaejoong accepts him for who he really is. After all, they complete each other.

Changmin is Jaejoong’s strength.

Jaejoong is Changmin’s weakness.

Both don’t mind. In fact, they are more than happy to complete one’s needs. Changmin is martyr because he is willing to hurt himself just to see his best friend smile.

*

“Didn’t I tell you to stop fighting?”

Jaejoong sits on the bed beside his best friend after treating the wounds and bruises on the other’s face. He isn’t happy this time. Changmin is hurt and it’s making him hurt also. He takes the hand of his friend and brings it close to his cheek.

“Min?”

A sigh. Changmin looks at Jaejoong and hesitantly pulls his hand away. He shakes his head side to side. No. I can’t.

Changmin doesn’t fail to notice the frown forming on the other’s lips.

“Why? You know that I hate to see you being hurt.”

Changmin definitely knows that. His heart hurts knowing his best friend worries about him. It hurts even more seeing the other trying so hard not to let any of his tears fall. He wishes he could fulfill the other’s wish. However, he cannot just quit. Not now.

“I’m so sorry, Jae.”

Changmin slowly reaches out his hands and wipes the tears from his best friend’s beautiful eyes that he had learned to love so much that it annoyingly hurts. Unfortunately for him though, he couldn’t do anything about it because as much as it pains him, he strangely feels satisfied. Just looking at those eyes, especially like how they are now, he feels grateful that he’s alive. Changmin never forgets to silently thank the heavens for letting him have someone so precious, so delicate that he’s willing to protect. He hugs Jaejoong tenderly.

If time is in the palm of my hands,

I wouldn’t think twice to make it stop

And forever keep you in my arms.

The sad story is…time doesn’t wait for anyone.

*

It is Friday night when Changmin visits Jaejoong’s house for a late night move and sleepover. Although they are too old to do those kinds of stuffs, they didn’t mind—just as long as they’re together.

“I haven’t seen you for a week. You may have answered my calls and messages, you know they weren’t enough.”

Jaejoong speaks, interrupting the calm atmosphere around the two of them as they cuddle up with each other. Although it wasn’t a question, Changmin’s very sure that the other is waiting for an answer—an honest one. He sighs. For the first time in his life, he silently curses his best friend for his little brain’s curiosity (though he doesn’t mean a thing) and the effect he holds in him.

“My sister got sick again. I need to take care of her.”

“Oh…”

The soothing atmosphere is back again and Changmin takes the chance to snuggle closer to Jaejoong. He pulls him closer and leans his chin on the other’s shoulder, his chest on his best friend’s back, his arms wrap around the other’s waist. If anyone would stumble on them at the moment, anyone would think they’re lovers when actually, they aren’t.

Must not…

“Tell her I said hi. She’s the sweetest and strongest noona I’ve known.”

“Sure.”

Is it possible to find something when you don’t even know what you are looking for?

Like crazy, I’m holding on to something that I don’t know if it’s even there.

*

It is already 6 in the evening and Changmin is still wandering around the campus. He doesn’t feel like going home yet. Thirty more minutes and Jaejoong’s class will be over, so he decides that he will wait for his best friend. When walks by a seemingly strange empty hallway, he hears voices of guys from one room. Gossiping like girls. He smirks from his thoughts. He would have ignored those guys if he doesn’t catch them spilling the name of his precious friend.

Jaejoong.

 If there’s one thing that Shim Changmin detests the most, it’s when people talk bad of his best friend. No one should mess his best friend’s name, because if someone does, then that person is messing him also—the sole reason of why he became the school’s delinquent. Without any further ado, he storms inside the classroom where the guys are.

“With the face he got, he would seduce every professor to pass!”

“Oh, I would love to see his face under me. I’m sure he’s a like that! “

“I saw him hanging out with the smart- Changmin. Maybe he’s seducing him also.”

“Probably letting him make all his projects and assignments”

“In exchange for his bod—”

The poor guy can’t even continue his sentence. He gets harsh punch in the face without a warning that sends him immediately to unconsciousness after knocking himself to some chairs. Changmin cares less if the guy is alive or not. Three. Changmin counts. There are still three guys standing and all of them seem to be petrified of him. Tch. Talking about s. They even look like cheap . Changmin should’ve known. Those guys are known for their selves to get passing grades, though that’s just a rumor. Who cares? They shouldn’t have talked about Jaejoong like that. When he’s about to hit another guy, he stops by the time he hears his best friend shouts his name.

“Changmin!”

 The three guys immediately run away, leaving their unconscious friend behind. He calms down and turns around to face his friend by the door. Jaejoong wears so much worry in his eyes and he feels slightly guilty. How could he forget Jaejoong’s class was just the next room? He curses himself. He notices his best friend glances at the body at the floor then back to him. Jaejoong shakes his head in disappointment.

I’m sorry.

“Let’s just go home, Min.”

*