Happy reading my dear subscribers ~

“Ayana! This is the last time appa is telling. Eat your dinner!”

“No! I won’t! I want Miss! I want to eat with Miss!” Ayana shouted.

The members looked at me in concern. Even Kyungsoo hyung was now looking helpless about the situation.

“Fine! Don’t eat it. And when you’re hungry don’t come to me.” I was irritated at this point.

After the day Lisa left Ayana started to notice her absence. I think she understood that she won’t come back and started asking for her. Everytime I would say that she is busy and won’t be able to come, she would start to cry. I always held her close and comforted her even though I myself felt like crying.

But for the past two days she started to throw tantrums.

The thing was Ayana never threw tantrums. She was an energetic child, yes but tantrums? Never. Even as a kid she used to hate fights in movies. And now looking at her do this was not a pleasant sight.

I didn’t have a single idea how to deal with a demanding six year old. I actually ended up calling my mother for advice. She just laughed and said I should deal with it in my way and not to worry a lot. But this was getting out of hand. Ayana didn’t even have her breakfast today and now she wants to skip dinner.

The members had no idea about the incident but caught on soon as they observed our sullen mood for the past few weeks. Thankfully nobody tried to bring up the topic, maybe because they wanted to give me some space for which I was very grateful. But Ayana wasn’t helping at all right now.

“I WANT MISS! BRING HER!” Ayana screamed on top of her lungs, startling everyone on the table. She was crying angry tears. Her whole face was red and the frown on her face didn’t do justice to her otherwise adorable face.

“Oh Ayana!” I shouted but this time she didn’t even flinch. “One more time you behave like this you’re getting time out! Sit down right now and eat your dinner!” But she didn’t budge even an inch.

God, she is a bulldogger.

I massaged my temples. They had this dull ache from one week but today it was throbbing! The subunit's debut was around the corner, and the amount of shooting and recording was taking its toll on me. And on top of it Ayana decided to be the most cooperative person on earth today itself.

“Alright young lady. Let’s go your way. You want to be like this then fine. Let it be, just be prepared for the punishment.” I snapped. I tried to make myself look more intimidating but she just stared right back at me with her little round red eyes full of anger. Her cheeks were blotchy and eyes full of tears. If any other situation I would have pulled her into my arms and hugged her. But this was no longer sweet. It was getting seriously out of hand.

I was about to snap again when out of all Baekhyun hyung abruptly stood up from the chair, startling all of us, including Ayana.

Hyung bit his lips hesitantly before speaking.

“How about I take Ayana with me to play for a while?” He said with a small smile. Before anyone could say anything he went to Ayana and picked her up. She was about to complain but hyung placed a finger on her lips and shook his head. Ayana pouted but kept quiet.

“Sehun-ah, let out your steam while we are at it.” Hyung winked at me. With that hyung left. He took the untouched dinner tray along with him to his room with Ayana in his arms.

As soon as they left I slumped against the chair. The hyungs sighed along with me.

It was surprising how hyung could calm my daughter in mere seconds.

“Sehun-ah,” I heard Junmyeon hyung called. “I know something happened. Can you tell us what it is?” He asked softly.

I looked at him. His face was etched with worry and concern. I was about to brush it off saying that I will tell them next time when Kyungsoo hyung spoke.

“No Oh Sehun we gave you enough time. We expected you to tell us on your own but you’re taking too long. I don’t think we can wait and see both of you falling apart like this. This thing no longer looks good.” His expression was dead serious. Almost scary. “Spill it!”

I sighed and thumped my head to the table lightly. Guess there is no way out.

“Really Sehun-ah, I don’t think we can any longer see Ayana like this. I don’t know what happened between you and Lisa-ssi but Ayana is seriously getting affected here.” Jongdae hyung patted my back.

“Sehun-ah, you and I both know it's not just Ayana.” Jongin hissed. He looked pissed. “It’s very clear that you are struggling too. So before I call Jennie to give the phone to Lisa, you better start speaking.”

Here is the point. Jongin can be the sweetest man alive but when he is not in a good mood he can be the scariest.

“I asked Lisa not to come anymore.” I blurted. Looking down at the table.

“What?” Kyungsoo hyung’s eyes turned big in confusion. “Why would you do that?”

I kept quiet for a while trying to formulate a convincing answer.

“Don’t say some like it's for the best or something. I will seriously kick you!” Jongin was pissed off. For some reason I knew that he knew my feelings about her. Maybe because we have always been so close.

He was sitting opposite to me looking straight into my eyes daring me to answer.

“Kick me if you want but that is the truth.” I sighed.

Jongin snapped. He banged his hands on the table and stood up.

“Damn it! I knew this would happen! I knew it!” He was about to punch me square on my face. I closed my eyes waiting for the impact but it never came. Instead a loud bang was heard.

I slowly opened my eyes to see that his fist took another route and decided to make contact with the table again instead of my mandible.

“Kim Jongin! Calm down!” Kyungsoo hyung shouted.

“Calm down? Seriously hyung? Do you even know what this idiot is doing? I don’t give a rats about his glory story for the stupid decision he made of pushing Lisa away but I do know that he this believes he doesn’t deserve her.” Jongin shouted.

All the hyungs and me looked at him in shock. Knowing him from twelve years, this was the first time I ever saw him like this. His eyes were blazing with rage. They were glistering with unshed frustrated tears.

“J-Jongin-ah,” Chanyeol hyung was visibly shaken by the sudden flip in personality. “Please listen-”

“No! You all listen to me. You guys are really great hyungs and I could never ask for anyone better but I am bound to say this. You guys are blind!”

“Jongin! Shut up!” I shouted. What the hell is wrong with him?

“You keep your mouth shut. You don’t deserve to speak.”

“You’re insulting them for ’s sake!”

“You’ve been ing insulting yourself for past six years!” He literally roared.

Even though our rooms were sound proof I could bet that Baekhyun hyung and Ayana could hear him when he shouted like that.

I stood there looking at Jongin with wide eyes.

“J-Jongin, what are you talking about?” Junmyeon hyung’s voice trembled. He looked back and forth between me and Jongin in horror.

“I am sorry about what I said, hyung. It might have sounded harsh but it's nothing but truth.” Jongin said in a slightly calmer voice. “He never lets anyone in. He keeps declining those countless blind dates and advances from countless people. He barely makes friends outside us. And no, what he shows to the world is not true. They are never like Taemin for me or those actor hyungs for Soo hyung. They are just namesake or mostly because they want to be his friends, not him. He never lets anyone inside those iron clad walls of his.” He is crying. Jongin is crying.

I sat there stunned at his knowledge about things I never dared to voice out. How does he know it then?

“Are you saying he has been faking his happiness?” Jongdae hyung looked very close to crying.

“No I am saying that this idiot has abandonment issues.”

“W-What are you-” Junmyeon hyung got interrupted by Jongin.

“After hyungs decided to leave, he personally went to them pleading not to. Nobody knows about this. Remember he said he was going to some studio for dance practice?” Everyone looked shaken. “That’s all a bunch of lies. He was going to hyungs who were at that time staying at a hotel. Sehun kept blaming himself. He kept thinking that if he would have tried harder maybe then they wouldn’t have left. And then slowly he started developing trust issues. And to make it worse his only friend Hyunjin didn’t tell about Ayana and he too left. That left scars over his heart. He was never really able to move on from that and you'll never realize it.” He sighed at the end of his monologue. Chanyeol hyung cried silently and Junmyeon hyung’s eyes and nose were red. Jongdae hyung and Kyungsoo hyung had guilt etched over their face.

I felt shameful for being such a weak man. What Jongin said was true to core and I was still not over the fact that Jongin knows it all. Is that why he keeps telling me to let it lose? It finally came into place. He constantly keeps talking about how to move on and how holding onto something is bad for us. I kept thinking it was all about his past breakup with Krystal making him say that all. I just realized he used to talk about that even before he got into a relationship with her! But how did he know?

“Oh my God!” Junmyeon hyung s