A/N: ‘You Are the Reason’ by Calum Scott played on my Spotify and I’m suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. So I was thinking, why not writing some fanfic. The lyric somehow fit the chapter, I guess.

There goes my heart beating
'Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now

There goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now

I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason

It was almost midnight. After Yonghwa was taken to the operation room, a nurse informed Seohyun to wait in the waiting room on the same floor so that she could get the latest update about her boyfriend. The waiting room was all silent. Seohyun sat on a chair, leaned back and put her arms around herself. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying. She glanced at the clock on the wall, checking the time almost every ten minutes.

A few minutes later, Tiffany walked into the waiting room and rushed to her best friend once she saw her. She hugged Seohyun as she buried her face on the crook of her neck and let out a soft sob, again. “What happened?”

“He couldn’t breathe and the doctor said he has collapsed lung.” Seohyun whimpered. “It’s serious, unnie. I saw it with my own eyes and I really don’t know what to do. He may not survive.” She explained in between sobs.

“Sshh…” Tiffany softly rubbed Seohyun’s back. “The doctors will do their very best to save him.”

“I’m not sure anymore.” Seohyun pulled away and leaned forward, burying her face in her hands.

“Hyun,” Tiffany put her hand on Seohyun’s shoulder. “You can’t lose hope now.”

“What if he’s saying goodbye?”

“What do you mean?” Tiffany asked as her eyebrows crinkled, completely confused with the question.

Seohyun wiped the tears with her thumb. “After you left, I was talking to Yong Oppa and everything was fine. Then I fell asleep and I had a dream. I read a poem he wrote about me and one of the line said if that moment would be his last breath, even beyond death, he’d love me. It was as if he was saying goodbye to me in my sleep. Then when I opened my eyes, he was having trouble breathing.”

Tiffany sighed. “Seohyun, it was just a dream. It’s got nothing to do with Yonghwa’s condition right now. What happened to him was the complication of the injury.”

Seohyun shook her head and stood up abruptly. “What if he will not going to come out from that room alive? He’s standing on a very thin ice right now. That man…” She pointed to the hallway. “…the one I love so much and there’s nothing I can do to help him. I might lose him for good, unnie.” Fear was evident in her teary eyes as she spoke. “You’re not in my shoes, so you won’t probably understand.” She snapped. The tears fell like waterfall as she paced back and forth in the room.

Tiffany sighed heavily, surprised of the way Seohyun replied to her. She understood where Seohyun was coming from. It was time for some tough love.  She stood up and looked straight to Seohyun. “I may not be in your shoes, but I know how it feels to be so close of losing someone. I know it’s hard to be positive right now, but you can at least stop thinking like that. I know you’re scared of losing him, you have doubts and you’re worried, but being so pessimistic won’t help him either. It’s obviously not helping you as well. So instead of blaming yourself for whatever you can’t do, I suggest you get yourself together, keep praying and let the doctors do their job and let God do His job.” Tiffany’s tone of voice was stern, but wasn’t angry. She knew sometimes Seohyun would think irrationally especially when it comes to Yonghwa. So she felt a need to pulled Seohyun back from straying too far with her negative thought. She sat down on the seat she had occupied earlier and leaned back on it.  

Seohyun let out a short breath and took a seat next to Tiffany. “I’m sorry for what I said, unnie. I shouldn’t to snap at you like that when you’re trying to help me.” She shut her eyes briefly and shook her head as the image of what happened to Yonghwa just now crossed in her head. “I’m trying to hold on to a small hope I have left in me, but there’s too much to endure. And it’s really hard especially after what I just witnessed. My heart ached so much whenever I think of it.”

“A small hope is still a hope, Hyun. Yonghwa is battling between life and death in there, but I’m very sure he’ll fight with all his might to come back. So you can’t give up now.” Tiffany put a hand on Seohyun forearm.

Seohyun nodded. What Tiffany said was right. Although doubt still lingered in her mind, she tried her best to not think too much about the unlikely possibilities. She wanted Yonghwa to come back to her, alive and healthy.

A few hours later, a doctor emerged in the hallway of the waiting room. Seohyun and Tiffany stood up instantly when they saw the doctor. He was the same doctor they met on the day they found Yonghwa. He wore green scrub suit with a file in his hand. He paced closer to both ladies and introduced himself as Dr. Ming. He cleared his throat before he started to speak. “Yonghwa is safe. He suffered a condition called tension pneumothorax. The hole caused by the punctured wound from the accident was causing air to leak into his chest. The air collapses his left lung and at the same time put his heart on pressure. His heart stops while we were working on him.”

Seohyun knees turned feeble in an instant when she heard the doctor’s explanation. She clung onto Tiffany for support. “His heart s-stopped?” She asked with a trembling voice, tears already pooled at the brim of her eyes.

“Pneumothorax is a potentially life-threatening condition. When his oxygen level and his heart rate dropped drastically, the chance for him to survive is very slim. But thank God, we’re able to resuscitate him.” The doctor explained in a proficient way he could. He probably knew how the family of the patient would react to such facts. “Based on my years of experience, when the injury is severe and the patient’s body is too weak, they can barely make it. But Yonghwa…his fighting spirit is so strong. He came back. Some people might call it a miracle, but I’m sure there’s a reason behind the fight. It could be something or someone.”

“So is he okay now?” Yonghwa asked the doctor while still holding Seohyun next to her.

“He’s fine for now. But we need to put him under observation in the emergency room overnight. We need to keep checking his breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen level before we can move him to the regular room.” The doctor looked back and forth to both ladies. “So you two can get some rest. The nurse will update you and call you once we move him to the regular room.” He smiled to both of them and walked away from the waiting room.  

When the doctor disappeared from the sight, Seohyun plopped on the seat as her breathing got heavy. A mix of feelings washed over her. She looked down on the floor and immediately wiped the tears that almost fall. She tried to calm herself and ingesting the fact that she almost lost her boyfriend for good.  

By the look of Seohyun, Tiffany knew what went through in the brunette’s mind. She sat next to her and placed a hand on Seohyun’s thigh. “I know what you’re thinking. But he survived. Thanks the Lord for saving him. You heard the doctor and you can argue with me if you want, but I believe it’s the hope you had for him that keeps him going. You are the reason he keeps fighting.”

Seohyun pressed her lips together when turned her head to Tiffany and her eyes were wet with tears. She nodded her head in agreement to what Tiffany just said and hugged her. “He is safe. It’s all that matters.” Seohyun muffled in the embrace of her best friend.

When they pulled away, Tiffany said, “Let’s get you to the hotel and have a proper rest. I promise I’ll bring you back here in the morning.”

Seohyun was too tired to argue, so she followed Tiffany to the hotel. Although falling asleep was hard for her that night, she was defeated by exhaustion.

************

There goes my hands shaking
And you are the reason
My heart keeps bleeding
I need you now

If I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spend every hour, of every day
Keeping you safe

I don't wanna fight no more
I don't wanna hide no more
I don't wanna cry no more
Come back I need you to hold me
(You are the reason)
Come a little closer now
Just a little closer now
Come a little closer
I need you to hold me tonight

The next morning, Tiffany kept her promise to bring Seohyun back to the hospital. Tiffany even insisted Seohyun to have breakfast first before heading to the hospital because she knew once they reach the hospital, Seohyun’s attention would only be on Yonghwa. When they approached the front desk, they were told by a nurse that Yongwa had already transferred to the regular room.

When they stepped in to the room, Dr. Ming and a nurse were doing check-up on Yonghwa. Then he wrote something on the clipboard file, passed it to the nurse and she left the room. “Good morning, ladies.” He greeted.

“Good morning.” Tiffany replied. Seohyun only smiled to him and moved to Yonghwa’s bedside.

“I have good news for you.” Dr. Ming took off his stethoscope from his ears and put it in the front pocket of his white coat. He looked decent in his white coat compare to his green scrub suits. “His heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen level are back to normal which means his lung is functioning well. The oxygen tube will help him breathing better.” He pointed to the nasal cannula tube for supplemental oxygen placed in his nostrils. “His body is still weak, so we hooked him with an IV so he won’t get dehydrated.” He glanced at Yonghwa and moved his eyes to Seohyun.

“When will he be awake?” Seohyun asked.

“Don’t worry. His body is adjusting well from the trauma. He’ll wake up soon. It’s just a matter of time.” The doctor smiled to Seohyun and then le