On the latter half of 2016, Sungjae and Joy finally learnt how hard it was to really miss each other without having enough time to meet.

It wasn’t about having enough will anymore. They really found it hard to meet.

With the release of Russian Roulette single, Red Velvet became extremely busy. They were so busy that life changed into a cycle of work, trying to steal time to eat (either in the company’s van or the music show dressing room), trying to steal another time to sleep (which was harder than you’d believe), practicing singing and dancing, then the cycle would be repeated the next day.

Red Velvet was gaining more and more recognition, and Joy was grateful with that, but oh, how expensive was the payment she had to make for that.

Sungjae was a part of his group’s subunit, BtoB Blue, releasing Stand By Me in the same month as Red Velvet’s Russian Roulette, on September. At the same time, he also had the filming for Goblin drama.

He always tried to text her whenever he had time, yet Joy’s schedule was so unbelievable that her replies started to decrease. Even when she did, it was made on the oddest hours of the day, like around 3 to 5 am.

Except seeing each other from afar in Music Shows, they couldn’t meet at all in September.

In early October, around 4 am one early morning, she called, and fortunately, he felt his phone vibrating.

His heart broke to pieces hearing her cried on the phone, saying “I’m so tired......". Her voice was laced with utter exhaustion. "I know it’s ungrateful to say this, but I’m really, really exhausted. I also miss you so much. And I wish—I wish I could see you, right now.”

It was enough for him to order a taxi and went to her dorm.

“I’m crazy busy as well. Your schedule is crazier, though. I’ll tell you what, when you have the time, I don’t care if it’s 4 am or 4 pm. If I can, I’ll come to you. Just call me.”

She was crying too much and was unable to speak, only her hands spoke, as she hugged him with all her might.

After that day, they worked out to meet at least once a week again, although always at odd hours. Sungjae joked and said they had turned to become “the 4 am couple”, which was actually the truth. They would always have to say goodbye again around 6 am.

Even their members felt really sorry for them.

It was hard, but they all knew how much the two needed to see each other, so no one really stopped them.

The months went by like this, with December being their busiest month ever.

Goblin was really popular, and Joy was really happy for him, watching the drama in her phone whenever she had time to sit still for fifteen minutes.

In January, Red Velvet was occupied in preparing their upcoming comeback for Rookie. However, the two lovers finally found one day where they both had no schedule, and decided to meet for the first time in Sungjae’s personal apartment.

****************************************************

Joy was impressed with his apartment. Someone as young as him would manage well with a studio apartment. But no, his father had to buy him a luxurious apartment with three spacious bedroom and a view facing Han river, the interior was designed by an award winning designer that often got featured on real-estate magazines.

There was a picture of his family framed in the sitting room. Another picture of BtoB was framed in the dining room.

Sungjae welcomed her in training pants and t-shirt, all beaming and giddy, hugging her warmly, before giving her a tour of the apartment. She saw framed artistic photographs in all the rooms, and had a feeling they were once displayed in expensive galleries.

It was midnight and Sungjae finally opened the glass doors to the sitting room’s balcony, letting fresh air in. Joy walked out and saw the beautiful Han river. It was dark, but the scene itself made her inhaled deeply.

“You’ve been awfully quiet. Are you alright?”

her hands, she asked, “Oppa, you know that I’m not with you because I want your money, right?”

That question caught him off guard, but he recovered quickly.

“Ah. This place is affecting you. It’s just a—place. My dad went a bit too much, but he said the purchase was good investment. He said my friends can stay here as well because I have extra rooms. Or my family, if they want to see me. Or I can stay here in the future, with my future wife, although it’s still unclear who she might be—with our four kids.”

Joy’s face suddenly became a living question mark.

“I feel sorry for your future wife.”

“Wae?”

“She has to deliver babies four times.”

“Maybe you can retire from showbiz and start giving me one this year. Since you’re still very young now.”

“Yah, Yook Sung Jae!”

“You can always just stay here and let me find the money.”

Joy scoffed at that and returned inside.

He reached her wrist and stopped her.

“It never even crossed my mind that you’d want my parents’ money.”

His tone was serious and since it was also important for her intentions to be acknowledged, she nodded.

“I’m serious about the four kids and wanting you to be a housewife, though.”

She slapped his hand away and marched to the kitchen.

“Are you really going to make doenjang jjigae at this hour?”

“Ne. Don’t try to stop me.”

“I won’t” he promised, laughter was evident in his tone.

“Let me help you, then.”

“Aniya, you should just sit and watch TV.”

“Shiro.”

Since he really refused to leave her alone, she made him cut the ingredients.

***********************************************

An hour later, they sat facing each other in his dining room, with a steaming jjigae in front of them and several side-dishes made by his mom.

“Wah, Sooyoungie, you really fulfilled my wish!”

“I asked my mom to write the exact recipe and followed everything. It doesn’t taste too bad, right?”

“It’s delicious! Omo! I think you have the talent to really be a housewife. Just stay here, so no other men can ever see you, and I’ll get to be the only one who see you.”

“Stop plotting a soap opera and eat your supper, Oppa.”

He pouted but finally quieted down and enjoyed the meal.

Once they were done and he helped her washed everything –she said she wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing there were dirty dishes on the sink—Sungjae said he had a gift for her.

Joy didn’t expect much, but apparently it was a long necklace of pearls in a velvet box.

“I asked my sister to buy this. I hope you like it.”

“Would your sister think—“

“Aniya. She didn’t think anything except wanting to meet you and have a picture together with you.”

By that time, Joy had changed into shorts and a long-sleeves top. She wore the necklace then, creating two loops with it.

“Oh, it looks good on you.”

“I love it, thank you, Oppa.”

“It’s a bribe, though.”

“..........what are you expecting?”

“Dance for me.”

“But I just cooked the jjigae for you!”

“Who said you can’t fulfil two wishes in one go?”

“Ah, it’s embarrassing! How can I dance my song in front of you?”

“Why not? It’s me!”

When Joy just sat silently on the couch, he resorted to aegyo. “Jeballlllll, Joyieeeee, dance for me!”

She groaned, but finally said, “Fine.”

*****************************************************

Her first private show for him started with Rusian Roulette. She needed to play the song from her phone to get the rhythm, and he set his phone on a tripod to record it.

“Did you already plan for this?”

She asked, as she stood in front of his TV.

“Ne. You know I’m an optimistic person.”

She made a face at that, but when Sungjae pressed play on her phone and the intro started, she became Joy Red Velvet.

There’s something in the way he cheered that gave her energy, though it was passed 1 am and she was tired before she arrived at his apartment.

He was cheering her full name all along, as she sang along and moved as if she was in a gayo stage.

When she was done, he asked, “Be Natural juseyo.”

“I need a chair for that.”

He promptly got up and dragged one of his dining chairs to where she was standing.

“Do you want it that much?” she teased.

“More than you know, Sooyoung-ah.”

They both knew he thought it’s Red Velvet’s iest song to date, and they both also knew she’s not going to deny his wish.

He pressed play on her phone and sat down to watch.

Joy felt his eyes following her every moves, and she felt hot all over, but no matter what, she moved with precision and grace, she loved the song after all.

Sungjae was transfixed. She exuded iness like no other girls could, really. Her hair swayed along her beautiful body, her legs were smooth and endless, and her expression was nothing but seducing. She was even ier than the usual Joy Red Velvet in those videos he obsessed over.

Probably because she knew it affected him that much, she gave the performance her all.

What was she thinking?

It’s not embarrassing, it makes her felt powerful.

She was breathless when she finished, and he sat there on the couch, without saying anything.

She couldn’t handle the way he stared at her, so she escaped to the kitchen, informing that she badly needed some water.

Of course, when she finished drinking, he was suddenly there behind her.

“Wh—what is it?”

He pressed her to the counter without answering, and in a blink, his hands were holding her cheeks, his mouth pressing onto her in a swoop of raw longing and lust.

She might have made a protesting sound, but he grabbed her hips and drowned her sound, shocking her by her lips and biting the lower one.

The second she felt his teeth, her hands flailed and she knocked the glass she used, making it shattered on the floor. It was strange how the crash sounded so far away, but his breathing sounded a lot louder for her.

“Oppa, the shards must be—“

He pressed himself on her and reclaimed , his tongue rudely entering, making her knees buckled.

She felt his tongue spreading all over, tasting her, before colliding with her own tongue, then massaging, teasing.

When he caught her tongue with his teeth then it, she jolted in his arms, then moaned.

The sound made him wanted to tear her top that very second, but he pulled back, and they both gasped for air.

“How come—you’re so good at this?”

His eyes were on his lips, not her eyes.

“I kiss you in my head thousands of time, Sooyoung-ah. That’s why.”

His thumbs were caressing her cheek, and it seemed like he had no plans to move away from her sometime soon.

“I wanted to kiss you like this for the longest time” he confessed.

She was speechless as she saw his expression, all determined and hot for her.

When he closed in again, she shut her eyes.

Sungjae kissed her until she gave up thinking to kiss him back. All she could do was just not forgetting to breathe amidst his attacks of demanding lips, tongue and teeth.

He then gradually moved to kiss all over her face, then her neck.

When his tongue swiped the side of her neck, she somehow violently shuddered. Of course, mercilessly, he continued her there, even biting and her tender skin. Her body became uncontrollable, as she moaned loudly and shut her eyes, her hands gripping at his t-shirt.

Loving her response, he continued to measure the rest of her neck with his tongue, before returning to her lips, groaning when she finally circled her arms around her neck.

Then his intensity calmed, his hands turned to holding instead of grasping, slowing down their kisses until they were only exchanging pecks.

As they finally stopped, he looked at her.

Her lips were red and swollen, her cheeks blushing. She’s breathing hard and she was looking at him with the right mix of awe and shock, that nearly made him crashed their lips together again.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he entwined the fingers from one hand with one of hers, as his other hand was still steadying her back.

“I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too” she replied.

“Listen—there will come a time, when I want you too much, and I won’t be able to stop. Whenever you meet me alone, you need to keep that in mind. If you’re not ready for it, maybe next time, I should just go to your dorm. I don’t think I can handle being alone with you without wanting to—“

“But Oppa, what if I want it as well?”

His throat went dry.

He looked at her and realized that if he really asked for it, she’d let him did it that very second.

Damn. Some said I could be dangerous, but she’s more dangerous than me.

“Don’t say it unless you’re really ready, Park Sooyoung” he warned in his sternest tone.

“It’s going to happen anyway.”

His blood probably all rushed south.

“Don’t you dare talking to other guys like this.”

“Why would I talk to other guys like this? Do you think I’m crazy?”

He looked down at her lips.

“Would you really let me if I want it now?”

She nodded without a doubt.

Then he looked at her eyes and the trust he saw swirling there made him swallowed, and stepped back.

He stepped back.

“It will happen. But not tonight.”

Joy had the audacity to ask, “Why not?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t think it should be now. I feel that I need to protect you longer.”

“..........I never asked you to protect me.”

“Yah, Park Sooyoung, jinjja!”

And believe it or not, she stepped down from the counter, and was the one who walked onto him, as it was he who stepped back, until he hit his own dining table.

“Just kidding” she grinned.

He sighed in relief.

But she then kissed his cheek.

“Thank you. For wanting to protect me. I’ll go and shower now.”

With that, she walked away to the master bedroom.

Sungjae then took a really deep breath, and took a new glass, then drinking two glasses of water.

Once done, he found a broom and began sweeping the glass shards, while thanking the universe that they were both wearing sandals, or else their feet would be wounded.

She wouldn’t be able to dance if—

The thought made him cleaned the shards with extra care.

When he peeked inside his bedroom, she was already in her pyjama, and her hair was wrapped in a towel bun, carefully doing her night skincare routine.

Once she’s done, he lied down and patted the space next to him.

She lied down beside him willingly, his arm safely hugging her.

“Lullaby time!”

“Sure. Sing whatever you want.”

“Oppa, I mean it’s your time to sing me to sleep.”

“What? Why is it always me?”

“I cooked for you, danced for you, got attacked by you—“

“It’s not like you didn’t want it too.”

“Yah.”

“Ahrasseo, ahrasseo.”

Joy waited, and he began singing One of These Nights.

“Oh.....you sound really good.....” Joy praised.

She snuggled closer and listened happily.

When he reached the second chorus, she was already fast asleep.

“Good night” Sungjae mumbled, silently holding her, staring at his room’s ceiling.

This felt perfect, he thought.

More than perfect.

Before long, he drifted to sleep as well.

******************************************************

Author’s Note:

Because this is public holiday in Indonesia and Sungjoy is my therapy.

I hope you like the update. Thank you for reading and commenting.