Author's Note: Beware, the genre of this chapter is angst. My long-time readers from Livejournal already know how harsh my angst can be. For me this is mild, but my readers said my mild angst could make them cry. So you might cry if you read this. You've been warned.

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If it didn’t hurt, maybe you had never loved at all.

After the sweet and candy land atmosphere of We Got Married, real life hit them hard.

On the last day of filming, they made sure that they wanted what they had to continue, to flourish and deepened.

Being serious and thinking it was the best to be honest to their management, Joy and Sungjae both agreed that they needed to inform about their new status.

Sungjae’s manager reminded Sungjae that CUBE never forbade BtoB members to have a romantic relationship, as long as they stayed low-profile.

It’s Red Velvet’s manager reaction that shocked Joy and her sisters.

“I’m so sorry Sooyoung-ah. I have to inform the higher-ups about this.”

Joy felt her whole body ran cold.

“What do you mean “the higher-ups”? Who are they?”

“The management’s executives will know about this.”

“B—but, Oppa, can you not—“

“No, I can’t, Sooyoung-ah. It’s included in my own job description terms. If I cover up your relationship, I’m the one who would be fired.”

They all knew that the said manager was already married with children, so no matter what, they couldn’t let him be fired.

Joy informed the manager the next day after her last filming of WGM. In the evening, the manager informed that Joy was summoned by the “higher ups”.

It was too shocking and horrifying not only for Joy, but all the Red Velvet members. They never thought that something this serious could happen just because one of their members was dating. The last time they met with the “higher ups” was when they signed their debut contracts......

“Joyie, don’t worry, Unnie will go meet the “higher ups” with you” Irene said with determination.

“Jinjja, Unnie? I don’t want to cause trouble to you as well” Joy replied.

“It’s alright. I’m your Unnie. I’ll follow you wherever you need to go.”

“Me too. I’ll go with you” Yeri added.

“We’ll go together” Wendy chimed in, reaching for Joy’s hand. Beside her, Seulgi nodded at Joy as well.

As touching as it was, Joy was still terrified.

“Like we talked about, I told my manager that we’re now together. I didn’t know that he’d have to report to the higher ups. Now I’m told that I am summoned by them tomorrow morning” texted Joy to Sungjae.

Sungjae was really shocked reading that. The second he was free, which was four hours after he read the text, he called Joy.

He was saddened to hear that she was crying. She was panicking and very, very scared. He understood that letting go of her might be the better choice. He understood that very much. However.......

“Sooyoung-ah......better guys would think only the best way for you. Maybe I should just tell you to give up. But mianhe, Sooyoung-ah. I’m not a good guy. I don’t want you to give up on us, even when it’s difficult for you. I—“

He paused, realizing he nearly sobbed as well. Who would’ve thought it would be this hard?

“Even though it’s hard, can you hold on? Please? And tell me what I can do. Don’t be silent, ahrasseo? If there’s a way for me to share the burden, please tell me. I’ll do anything,” he vowed, “I’ll do anything your company wants. Just please—let me be with you.”

Joy broke down into sobs.

Sungjae tried to console her from the other end.

He managed to hold his tears until she hung up.

Only then, he too, dissolved into a mess, throwing the nearest glass within reach to the wall, shocking his BtoB brothers.

They never saw him behaving like that. Sungjae was the maknae, but he was always well-behaved despite being a prankster. When he told them the reason of his emotional outburst, they too, were speechless. Peniel was the one who pulled Sungjae into a hug, sensing that he needed it.

“I hope it will be alright” Changsub prayed, patting the maknae’s back.

*****************************************************

The talk with the higher ups was indeed horrifying. Red Velvet arrived together and sat there with Joy and their managers, listening to the Executive Managers of Marketing and Press Management’s reaction, both for South Korea and International Market.

The four executive managers were in their late forties and wearing formal suits, looking as solemn and tense as possible.

The five members of Red Velvet could barely believe this extremely formal meeting had to be held merely because one of them was in a relationship.

Joy considered bringing her parents to the meeting, but decided against it. She would like to see the outcome first without worrying her parents.

“Park Sooyoung-ssi, we are grateful that you decided to be honest to the management about your personal life. Without further ado, let’s make matters clear. Are you serious about your relationship with Yook Sungjae-ssi from BtoB of CUBE Entertainment agency?”

Joy held the hands of Yeri and Irene tight. They were both sitting on her left and right side.

“Yes, I am.”

“Then we need to take the normal counter-measures” the Executive Marketing Manager for South Korea continued. She was a lady with a cold expression, looking like she’d fit better to be a Senior Prosecutor than a marketing executive.

“Co—counter measures? I’m sorry, Ma’am. What—what do you mean with that?”

“As you already signed the exclusive contract with us, you are our asset. We need to make sure no one—I repeat, no one—to jeopardize the liquidity of our asset.”

The girls were stunned at that.

The lady was speaking of Joy as if she was a company’s share, and not a living and breathing human being.

“I’ll ask you one last time, are you sure you will still continue this relationship?”

“Yes.”

Her voice was shaking, but she was sure with her answer, as sure as she was that her real name was Park Sooyoung.

The four executive managers then discussed with each other.

Then, the Press Management director spoke. He was a middle-aged man that looked like a senior auditor from an accounting company.

Straightening his glasses, he said in a monotonous voice, “We will come up with a non-disclosure contract that Yook Sungjae-ssi must sign. If he refused to sign it, the options are only two. Both of you need to never see each other again, and we will make sure of that via your managers and staff, or if you keep seeing him while he refused to sign the contract, we regretfully must terminate your contract with S.M Entertainment.”

Hearing this, Joy and her sisters cried immediately.

“Don’t be too shocked. We do this with all our debuted recruits. So far, they mostly obey our rules. Those who didn’t, well, we kicked them out.”

The executive manager then smiled at the crying girls, as if he just announced Christmas would come sooner that year.

“Tell Yook Sungjae-ssi to come here as soon as possible. He’s allowed to bring his manager and a lawyer as well.”

“Will Yook Sungjae-ssi be given enough time to analyze the contract?” Wendy asked, gathering her courage.

“Of course. On the spot. It would be a very blunt contract. He and his lawyer wouldn’t need so much time to analyze it. There would be no loopholes. It would of course be in our company’s benefit.”

The executive managers then rose from their seats.

“It would be easier if you decide to just not pursue the relationship” the executive marketing manager then exclaimed, as if as an afterthought, smiling at them all.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am” Joy replied, “But I won’t.”

“We shall see” she answered, sweetly but menacingly.

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Back at their dorm, Irene talked with Suho. Suho said, all the S.M idols who seriously had a relationship had to go under the same thing.

“Why did you never tell me???” Irene asked, frustrated and angry.

“We were bound under contract to never disclose it to our juniors, unless they experienced the same thing in their group. I’m sorry Joohyun-ah.”

Annoyed, Irene hung up.

When Sungjae could call Joy and listened to everything, he said immediately, “I’ll sign it. If my lawyer said it wouldn’t jeopardize my group and my agency, I’ll sign it.”

“They said it would be in S.M’s benefit” Joy informed.

“I have no doubt it would be. But like I told you, I want to be with you. I’ve heard before, that it’s hard to officially date an S.M artist. And I guess the rumours are true. Still, I don’t want to give up.”

Sungjae then hung up to talk to his brothers, manager and lawyer.

After cursing at S.M’s obsessive reaction, they allowed Sungjae to go. He was determined anyway, and they understood how much Joy meant for him.

The lawyer confirmed he’d make the time whenever Sungjae needed him. Eunkwang and a manager also promised to go with him.

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The next evening nearing midnight, Sungjae, his manager, Eunkwang, and CUBE Entertainment’s lawyer, arrived at S.M building.

He was brought to one of the top floors, where he saw Red Velvet already waiting.

When Joy saw him, she started crying again.

He looked really tired, and she felt horrible because he had to go through this to be with her.

For Sungjae, he had been crazy with worry for her.

They walked to each other as dignified as they could. It took everything in them to not just run towards each other.

“Oppa, mianhe” she sobbed.

“Don’t be sorry. I want this as well” he assured, reaching for her, wiping her tears instinctively with his hands. “Everything will be alright.”

“Don’t sign it if it will ruin you.”

“I’ll sign it. No matter what, Oppa will sign it. Don’t worry. It will all be alright.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I believe it will. It has to be.”

Sungjae was actually not sure. He had never been this afraid in his life. God, he was only 21.

He was sure of only one thing, though. He didn’t want to let go of Joy. Of that he was absolutely certain.

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“Yook Sungjae-ssi, are you going to consider to not pursue a relationship with S.M’s Park Sooyoung?”

“No, I’m not going to” Sungjae answered decisively.

“Very well then. As we told Park Sooyoung last night, you must sign this contract, or we will forbid both of you to ever meet again. Or, if you keep seeing each other without signing this, we will terminate Park Sooyoung’s contract with us.”

“Our marketing analysis forecasted that Red Velvet would be one of our main financial sources. Having a relationship with her would affect a lot of things. For example, Park Sooyoung’s image and our financial status and profitability.”

“The full content of this contract can be analyzed by you and your lawyer, but we demand you to make your decision tonight. None of us would leave this place until you sign it or leave without doing it as a legal decision.”

“The summary of this contract is, you are allowed to be with our Park Sooyoung-ssi as long as you vow to maintain extreme privacy. You are not allowed to show any interaction in public except if there are any future projects of you together. If there were any pictures or videos leaked in public of the two of you, S.M will deny there was any relationship at all. You will also swear to never disclose the fact that you are together to any other party beside your group members, staff and any other intern person. You will not spread any pictures or videos of Park Sooyoung with or without you in any form whatsoever. This contract will be valid until Park Sooyoung’s tenth year’s debut with Red Velvet. Any conduct against this contract, S.M. Entertainment would ask you to pay a penalty in numbers written inside and terminate Park Sooyoung’s contract with us. Your lawyer is allowed to read the contract in full right now.”

Sungjae’s lawyer then accepted the contract. It was only two pages, front and back.

As his lawyer was reading it, the meeting was adjourned. Joy sat with her Red Velvet sisters, looking at Sungjae’s pale expression.

He couldn’t even smile at her at all. Gone was the goofy, noisy young man. What was left was only the quiet and tired Yook Sungjae.

When the lawyer finished reading it, he and Sungjae discussed it for a while.

Joy could see them arguing, insisting about something.

Finally, they all stood up.

Sungjae’s manager informed that Sungjae had made his decision.

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Needless to say, Sungjae signed the non-disclosure contract in front of the four executive managers of S.M.

Joy already read the contract before. She also signed it.

Both Sungjae and Joy then legalized it with their personal stamps.

People in South Korea always carried their personal name stamp and red ink and signed it for legal documents.

For the first time that day, Sungjae and Joy sat side by side as they signed their documents.

Once the signatures were checked and pronounced as a binding contract by S.M’s lawyer, the Executive Press Management Manager spoke, “Actually, there are many idols who had relationships behind our backs. You are both very honest, to admit it to us. I know this was harsh, but we have to take these measures to protect our artists and our profitability, because above all, we are a company that needs to maintain our financial stability, and Red Velvet is our rising group. Yook Sung Jae-ssi and Park Sooyoung-ssi, you can now be sure that S.M will not forbid you to continue your er.....good relationship, as long as Park Sooyoung’s image is kept safe and marketable, and Yook Sung Jae-ssi doesn’t break any of the rules stated in this non-disclosure contract. This meeting is now adjourned.”

Once the executive managers and S.M’s lawyer left the room, Sungjae asked to Joy,

“Are we free now?”

“Not free but......I guess we now have my company’s blessing, as long as we don’t break the rules.”

“That’s good enough for me” Sungjae grinned, pulling her into his embrace.

She cried on his shoulder then, apologizing again and again for putting him into this, and then thanking him over and over again.

“Can’t you see? I’m happy to do this, Sooyoungie. It’s me who need to be with you. In the future, it might not be easy, but I won’t give up.”

Joy hugged him tighter.

The four Red Velvet members all had wet eyes looking at them.

Who would have thought, these two very young people had to undergo such difficult episode in real life? Still, they were all touched by their sincerity.

Even in the future, hopefully they’d always be able to face whatever challenges thrown at them.

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Author’s Note:

Like I said, it would be angst. That might be difficult to read, but I think this part is important, therefore I write it.

Thank you for putting up with me.

Thank you for reading as well.

You can reach me at twitter @ladylia257

Until next update.