Summary: Chanyeol has the day off, and Baekhyun's just off.

Baekhyun's been dropping fat hints here and there about how much he missed him, and Chanyeol notices them all. Even though Baekhyun seems so happy and cheery whenever they call, Junmyeon's always on the back end spilling all of the beans that Baekhyun tells him privately.

Apparently, the roommate situation did get better, but maybe a little better than Chanyeol would've liked.

"It's okay, loser. My baby wouldn't cheat even if there are better options out there! Like me."

Chanyeol used to hate it whenever Junmyeon dropped by the shop, but he is his mentor's favorite customer, apparently. Putting up with him nearly twice a week for the past four months really softened their relationship to what it was before.

But Junmyeon's still an annoying .

"Wasn't going to say anything," Chanyeol mutters, lifting up the hood of Junmyeon's car. "I don't care about the roommate."

"But you should! The roommate cares about babe!" Junmyeon shakes his head. "I let my guard down once, too... Then BAM! He stole my heart and my stocks!"

Rolling his eyes, Chanyeol looks back at him while pulling up the sleeves of his uniform. "Can you be a little less dramatic? You're ing annoying me."

"I'm just saying, Park. Baekhyun cries a lot over you, sooo..."

"So what?"

"Roommate might offer his shoulder to cry on."

Chanyeol doesn't say anything about what he knows because it'll only cause more trouble if he does. Still, it makes him feel like absolute knowing that Baekhyun's crying halfway around the world over him.

That shouldn't even be happening.

Maybe he should try a little harder and call more... But what good is that when Baekhyun's always busy whenever he calls, anyways?

They did have a fight about communication issues a few days ago. He could try on working on that and text back by the end of the day instead of letting things go forgotten.

"Yeol?"

Pulled out of his thoughts, Chanyeol blinks at the sight of Baekhyun waving his hand in front of the camera.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear me?"

"Uh," Chanyeol says, trying to recall anything that Baekhyun just said in the last minute... He comes up empty. "I'm sorry. I kind of zoned out for a bit. What'd you say?"

Baekhyun pauses for a few seconds before repeating himself. "I asked you what you wanted for Christmas."

"Oh." Chanyeol shrugs. "Don't worry about gifts. You don't need to."

"But I want to," Baekhyun responds, visibly upset. "Sending a box will probably take too long, so maybe a little packet! I can send you some candy and a card— Oh! Maybe even a—"

"Babe, it's fine. I don't need any of that."

Stopping, Baekhyun frowns at the camera. "Then what do you want?"

For you to come back?

For you to stop crying over me?

Chanyeol shrugs again, turning his eyes away from his webcam. "Don't get me anything. Just promise me you'll be safe during your ski trip."

"I'll be safe! I promise, but Yeol—"

The phone rings—twice until Chanyeol remembers that it's his ringtone. He quickly realizes it's from his work place and puts the call in silent. He doesn't want to deal with work right now.

"Who was that?"

"Just a co-worker," Chanyeol dismissively says. They're probably calling to ask him to come in and fill someone's shift, but he'll call back after they're done talking. "Anyways, it's fine. I don't want anything for Christmas. Just save your money and use it for your trip."

Baekhyun stays silent for a few seconds, looking visibly upset and frustrated. "I don't think you realize how much I want to get you a gift. I don't care about saving my money. The only thing I want to do is get you something nice for the holidays!"

"Baekhyun." Chanyeol's stern and straightforward. "I really don't want anything."

"It's not about what you want!" Baekhyun snaps... But then he pulls back, realizing how loud he said it. "It's about... I don't know! Making sure that you still know I love you. I mean, yeah, I can say it all the time, but it's just words on the internet, and it makes me feel better if there's something physical to remember it by."

The expression on Chanyeol's face softens. "But I already know—"

"I just don't want you to forget—"

"I won't."

Baekhyun purses his lips. "Are you sure about that?" he asks. "Like... Do you even miss holding my hand? Or cuddling? Cause I do. It's almost been 6 months, and I get jealous of my friends here who have their boyfriends around."

"Baek—"

"I just wish you were here."

Taking in a deep breath, Baekhyun looks away from the webcam. The top half of his face is off-screen but Chanyeol knows that the brunet's trying to stop the waterworks from starting—and Chanyeol really hates himself for it.

"I wish you were here, too."

He really ing does.

Goddamn it.

After the longest time, Baekhyun hesitantly moves back into the frame. "Do you really mean it?"

"Yeah, I do."

"You never say that you miss me anymore." Baekhyun says in a quiet voice. "The last time you said it was, like, I don't know. A month and a half ago."

"You already know I miss you," Chanyeol retorts.

"But I want you to say it more. It makes me feel like you don't when you don't say anything at all."

"I'm not trying to make you feel that way—"

"I know you're not, but I just...do. That's just how I feel and I feel bad that I feel like this, but then it makes me feel even worse and—"

Chanyeol's phone rings again, vibrating on his desk. Picking it up, he curses underneath his breath before rejecting it.

"Sorry. I don't know why they keep calling. I should probably call them back soon." Sighing, Chanyeol clasps his hands together against his lips as he tries to think of what to do. Baekhyun's not saying anything anymore, probably put off by the call interrupting him again, and Chanyeol just feels so ing lost.

It's different because it's not like they can kiss and makeup, or go get Melona after an argument. The most they can do is just end the call and call again another day, hoping things are better and apologies have been accepted, which doesn't feel the ing same at all...

"You know what? It's okay. I'm just... crazy, or whatever."

That's the last thing Chanyeol wants to hear from his runt's mouth.

Yeah, he is crazy... But not like this.

"Baekhyun—"

"I'll just send you a card. It'll get there faster than a package anyways, which means you'll have it before Christmas instead of New Years!" Baekhyun smiles but it's really off. "I'm sorry. Maybe it's just stress and the whole holidays thing that's making me feel lonely, but you're right. I should just—"

"Baek."

"I can just focus on the trip."

"Stop."

Baekhyun looks down for a while, maybe thinking to himself, but Chanyeol can't tell.

"I should go to back to my dorm and sleep now... I have to study with my group at the library tomorrow morning. Fall finals is coming up." He pauses. "Good-night, Yeol."

Chanyeol scoffs, a little annoyed. "Really? Are you seriously going to leave like this?"

"Yeah... It's late. We can talk about this later. I'll try to make time tomorrow. I just need to move my schedule around. I'm a mess. Sorry— I need to calm down. I feel really stupid right now and I just—I need to go to bed. I'm so sorry." Baekhyun brings his hands to his face and tries to collect himself, but Chanyeol knows that he's about to cry. "I'm going to go now. I'm sorry for being like this."

"You don't have to apologize."

Chanyeol wishes he can do more. He ing wants to do more but he can't.

"I can't help it... I'll talk to you later. Um, you should call that co-worker of yours soon. I love you... Still wish you were here." Taking in a deep breath, Baekhyun puts his hands down. "Bye..."

He doesn't want him to go, but Chanyeol knows they just can't keep talking like this... Not when Baekhyun has finals soon and he has to study... He should be doing that instead of arguing with his boyfriend who's all the way in ing Korea.

Reluctantly, Chanyeol chooses to let it go.

"I love you, too— And for the record, yeah. I do miss holding your dumb hand. Kinda bummed you're not coming back for winter break, because yeah. I do miss you." Chanyeol hates that Baekhyun's crying now, but he's also laughing so... "Good luck on finals. We'll talk soon. Good-night."

"Night."

The call ends, leaving Chanyeol alone in his room. He doesn't know what much else to feel... Maybe it's just the temperature in his space or the cold season outside his window, but... he feels numb.

Stuck between wanting to do more and being limited to what he can actually do, he can't escape the feeling of being so useless.

.

He picks up his phone and calls back the number. It rings a few times before the recipient picks up.

"Jinah."

A/n: happy 4th of July! US Independence Day and the birth of an imperial, colonizing nation!

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