As soon as news reached the public that Aiko left the group, our two dramas were cancelled. The parts to 'Valentines Day' were instead given to AKB members, and 'Wild at Heart' was never heard of again. Our single was pushed back a few months, and we had no more television apperarances. As far as Hanabi was concerned, every time we would leave J-Storm, it seemed like there was always someone wanting to ask us questions. Disguises were officially made and lines were practiced,  and we were ordered by Johnny not to say anything. 

Ninomiya-san had the audacity to come up to the four of us and say, 'Welcome to Johnnys'. Even Kotone didn't find it funny.

--

"This is a load of bull!" Kotone ranted one day as we went over and redid our lyrics for our single. She threw her copy of the lyrics on the table, surprising everyone. "Why do we have to decide this?"

"Because we're Hanabi," Sora answered. 

"We're not Hanabi," Kotone said. "You know what we are? We are four girls still trying to hold together a group! This is not Hanabi!"

Me and Nuria looked up from our lyrics. "Then what is this?" Nuria asked.

Kotone stood up and looked at us. "This is desperation. We're not the same group anymore. We're not Hanabi anymore. We're just wasting our time."

"We are not desperate!" Sora exclaimed. "We're making the best out of the situation we're in. Just because Aiko isn't here doesn't mean--"

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS!" Kotone yelled. "She's not here anymore, which means more pressure on us to be just as good if not better! We can't continue broken up like this!"

I put my lyrics down and stood up. "Kotone-chan," I started gently. "Hanabi is no longer a five person group anymore. Hanabi is four people now. Hanabi will continue to exist until everyone here stops caring about it. So if you want to leave just like Aiko did, then the door is that way. Don't hesitate or force yourself to be in a group if your heart isn't in it."

Kotone looked shocked as she stood there staring at me. It broke my heart to tell her those words, but I felt like I was just like everyone else. I was tired and exhausted about the entire situation. It felt as though every bad thing was numbing me until I couldn't feel anymore. After a minute, Kotone sat down in her chair again and the room was filled with a tense silence. 

"What happened to us?" Nuria asked suddenly breaking the silence. "We were so happy and excited. Why did this happen?"

"Everything happened," Sora answered. "We lost our spirit when Aiko left."

I stood up and went over to grab our New Year's Wish List from the door and took it down. A hit single. Go on VS Arashi. Play Rolling Coin Tower. Stay true to ourselves. Our own concert. I put the list on the table in front of us, and everyone sat looking at it for a minute. "Those are the things we decided we wanted to do as a group this year," I said. "I was looking forward to doing some of those things this year. I don't know about the rest of you, but I still want these things, and it breaks my heart to see us dissintergrating like this." I grabbed my coat and my bag then before turning back to everyone else. "Tomorrow, anyone who still wants to be Hanabi can come back and we'll continue to do the very best we can be. It's okay if you don't come back. If you're not happy here, then we won't force you to stay."

I bowed to the remaining three members before leaving, not knowing what exactly would happen the next day.

--

"Amanda! Someone's here to see you!"

I groaned as I heard my mother downstairs calling my name. "I'm busy!" I said looking up from my Japanese language homework.

A minute later, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and stopping right in my doorway. "Hey."

I froze and turned to see Aiko standing in my room. "Hey," I answered removing my reading glasses. "I thought you'd be on your way to Washington by now."

Aiko shrugged and went over and sat on my bed. "Well, my parent's aren't exactly happy with me now. They left without me."

"Left without you?!" I asked. "Wait.. where are you--"

"I'm with my aunt right now."

"Oh... okay..."

Aiko looked down at her hands before taking a deep breath. "I'm really sorry. I made a big mistake leaving."

I frowned putting my glasses on the desk. "It was your decision."

"Yeah, and it was a stupid decision," Aiko said looking at me. "Amanda, you don't understand the regret I feel. The first day after, I wanted to go to work so badly but I was so afraid that you all would be mad at me."

"We're not mad at you," I shook my head. "If anything, it made us think. Tomorrow, I kinda decided for everyone that if they really wanted to be a part of Hanabi then they'll come to work tomorrow."

"Are they threatening to quit?"

"No, but everyone just kind of lost their enthusiasm."

Aiko hung her head. "I'm really sorry."

"It's alright."

"It's not okay!" Aiko exclaimed. "This is Hanabi! You can't just give up and fail!"

I looked at her and stood up. "You quit. You gave up. That's saying to everyone that so can they. I'm trying to at least keep it together. Unless you actually come back, you have no say in what happens to Hanabi."

Aiko was silent and looked like a sad puppy as I said those things. "Okay," she said before she stood up and left.

--

I was the first to arrive to work the next day. I sat in the lounge for what seemed like hours before Sora walked in. "Good morning," she said happily as she placed her bento on the table. "You look like you haven't slept."

"I was up all night studying," I answered. "I hate kanji. It's so hard!"

"I agree," Sora replied. "I could never figure it out either."

"Figure what out?" Kotone's voice asked as she walked in and took off her coat.

"We're complaining about kanji," Sora said.

"What's so hard about it?" Kotone defended. "Kanji is easy! Japanese is easy! Korean is a flippin' nightmare!"

"Korean is simple!"

"That is the hardest language in the world! It's all gibberish!"

Nuria walked in next and took off her coat as well. "What's all gibberish?"

"Korean," I answered.

"It is!" Nuria agreed. "It's hard!"

"IT IS NOT!" Sora laughed. "It's simple and easy!"

"Good morning...."

Everyone stopped and looked towards the door, where Aiko Suzuki stood. "I was wondering if you guys would let me back," she said gently after a minute.

No one said a word. We all looked at each other, wondering what to do or say. Then, Kotone went over to the girl and smacked her upside the head. "Thanks to you, we're completely lost as to what to do with these lyrics!" she complained.

I smiled. "More like Kotone-chan is completely lost," I joked.

That led into another ridiculous argument, which then caused everyone to start laughing along and voicing their own opinions until our stomachs and voices hurt too much to care about work anymore.

It was the first time in a long time we had been like that.

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gotta go to class. until then, enjoy the chapter!!!!!