Opening his eyes slowly, a man groaned. Feeling as if his head is about to explode; the bright light he was greeted with not helping with the fact.

Where was he?

A bed; his mind came with the simple answer. He was on a bed in a small white room, sunlight coming from somewhere over his head.

Looking at the ceiling above, it looked wrong. Frowning, he tried remembering where he was but came to a blank. It felt as if he was nowhere.

“Hello.“ A chirpy voice got the man looking to his side. Eyes falling on the second bed in the room and the man who was sitting on it, eyes on him. Wearing a simple white shirt and gray sweats he sat there with a smile on his face. The smile big and happy, as bright brown eyes starred right at his own.

His smile is beautiful; the thought appeared even as the man himself frowned, not recognizing the other. Isn’t he supposed to know his name?

“My name is Baekhyun. What is yours?” Smile not wavering, the man, Baekhyun, stretched his hand out through the small space between the two beds.

Baekyhun.

The name didn’t sound familiar at all.

Sitting up slowly, head pulsing in protest and limbs feeling heavy, the man took the hand in his own, shaking them as he tried to think of his own name.

Nothing.

“I-I’m-” Starting to feel frustrated, he frowned again. Why couldn’t he remember his own name? Who was he?

His mind ran to a blank, not giving the answers he was seeking. As if they weren’t even there.

But he’s supposed to have a name.

“I-” Where is my name?

Seeing him struggle Baekhyun squeezed the hand still in his own, making the other look at him again. “That’s okay. Your memory is a little bit broken. The doctors will fix it.”

Broken? Is that why he couldn’t remember anything? Is he in a hospital?

“Where am I?” Letting go of the warm hand, he let his own fall back on the bed as he looked around a little bit better. It did kind of feel like a hospital. But the images now showing in his mind weren’t exactly the same as his surroundings. This room was made to be a little more on the ‘homey’ side, with the desk in the corner and carpet under his bare feet.

“You’re in the hospital.” There was that smile again.

The man almost felt compelled to answer with a smile of his own but his head just hurt so much, and with not being able to remember even his name there was little to smile about anyway.

“Why are you in here?”

“My memory is a little bit broken too.”

 

It didn’t take long for the first doctor to show up. Smiling bright at seeing him sitting there, not wavering even when he couldn’t answer the simple question of his name. Just reassuring him that it was normal.

It didn’t feel normal.

Seeing the frustration on his face as she asked questions he just didn’t know answers to, Baekhyun scurried over to his bed somewhere between ‘How old are you’ and ‘Do you remember what happened’ hand soothingly rubbing circles against the man’s back.

This stranger he doesn’t remember ever meeting before was comforting him. Didn’t he say his memory was broken too?

Seeing it the woman just smiled. “I see you’ve met Baekhyun. He is our ray of sunshine in here” Looking at the one she was talking about, he was met with a beaming smile.

Ray of sunshine was a good way to describe him.

A small smile tugged on his lips as he relaxed under the touch. It felt foreigner and yet still strangely comforting. As if it was something he was used to. Something he could get used to very easily.

A faint memory of a smile flashed in his mind, but it disappeared before he could grasp at it. Maybe it was something he was used to.

“What happened?”

“You were in a car crash a few weeks ago. You had no identification with you though, so we don’t know your name.” The words had him looking down. Does anyone know his name? “When you came to you we’re diagnosed with memory loss and sent here to recover. Do you remember it? Waking up in the hospital?” He tried but ended up shaking his head instead. The first thing he remembers is waking up here. With Baekhyun. “That’s okay. You were under a lot of drugs for the pain. But most of your injuries are healed now so you can focus on trying to remember.”

“Will I ever be able to?” Looking back up the man felt fear. What if he never remembers who he is?

He was met with a soft smile though. “There is no reason for you not to. It won’t come all at once but through the months and years it will come to you.” She reassured him. “For now though, why don’t you let Baekhyun here show you around. You’re probably hungry. Do you think you could show him where the cafeteria is?” She was not focused on him anymore, as the man felt relief wash over him. This is temporary. He will remember. With time he will remember.

A tug on his hand got the man’s attention again. Baekhyun was standing in front of him and the doctor has gone, leaving the door open behind here. From what he could see it lead to a hallway, painted the same white as their room. ”Come on, Let’s go get some food.”

Nodding he stood up, now forced to look down if he wanted to look at the other. Wow, Baekhyun was short.

As if hearing his thought’s said man looked at him with a smile. Still not letting go of his hand. “You’re so tall.”

“Thank…you?”

Feeling confused as how to respond, he was rewarded by a laugh as Baekhyun pulled him out of the door. Letting the shorter lead the way, as he didn’t know where they were going, he had no problem keeping up to his strides.

He has a beautiful laugh. The thought appeared as they walked side by side. Hands still loosely entwined as if they did it so many times. Even through the headache, he smiled a small smile.

Entering, what he presumed must be the cafeteria, he was met with a lot of people. At least twenty men and women sat around various tables. Some talking in groups and some on their own. It made him feel uneasy. Does he have to say hi to any of them? How would he even do that?

“Come on I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Pulling him forward the taller felt hesitant. Introduce him? He doesn’t even know how to introduce himself.

As it turns out the fact that he doesn’t know his own name came as no obstacle for Baekhyun as he went from table to table, introducing him as his friend. Hearing the reply of ‘Hi Baekhyun’s friend’ from many of them.

Baekhyun’s friend.

A smile found itself on his lips around the fourth table. Yea, he can be Baekhun’s friend.

 

 

A week has past. A week since the man woke up in the room he shared with the always cheery Baekhyun.

A week and he still had no idea who he was.

Often times the fact had him feel frustration and anger. Why can’t he remember anything? He just needs something. Something to show that he will indeed get better.

However, spending so much time with the other still got him smiling despite it. Because Baekhyun has a nice smile and his laugh is something he doesn’t think he could ever forget and his eyes crinkle in the corners when he talks to him. And maybe if he remembers just those things it will be alright.

The doctor said that Baekhyun was like a ray of sunshine. Walking through the hall to the library with said man’s hand in his as he animatedly talked about his favorite book made him think that maybe he can be his ray of sunshine too.

Still, he came back to their room with a heavy heart and a frown on his face after his daily appointment with the doctor he met his first day there. As they never amounted to anything but making him repeat ‘I don’t know’ over and over again.

He hated it.

He hated the pills he had to take.

He hated the memories that appeared sometimes but never long enough for him to grasp onto them before they were gone again.

“Why such a long face?” Baekhyun looked up from his book as the other slammed the door shut. He just needed to be alone for a while.

Baekhyun was always there though. Sometimes it wasn’t such a good thing, he thought as he threw himself on his bed.

“I still don’t remember.” He mumbled against the pillow, turning just enough to be able to look at the others face. He was met with a smile.

He always had that big smile. The one that had even his cranky self itching to answer with one of his own.

What is there to smile about though? The only good thing he has yet to see in his new life was Baekhyun.

“It takes time. You’ll get it.”

Sometimes, it felt as if that was enough.

 

 

Another week passed and the man was forced to accept his current existence. With no trace of his memory in sight he found himself focusing more on remembering the now.

It was of course Baekhyun’s idea, after he watched him get frustrated over and over again by his inability to remember the little things. Not liking how he can’t even pick what flavor ice-cream to get on Fridays because he just doesn’t remember what he likes. The others brilliant answer to that was just getting a different one every Friday until he found the one he likes now.

“That’s what I always do.” He has said with a smile as he was handed the strawberry one.

So that’s how the man found himself focusing on remembering the now instead of the past, as it was easier to do. He found out that vanilla tastes nice and that he likes being greeted every morning by a simple ‘Hi, Baekhyun’s friend’ as him and said man enter the cafeteria for breakfast. He also likes how the others hand feels in his own as they walk to wherever Baekhyun was dragging him to this time.

There was a routine between the two now, and with each day past the man focused on remembering those. Every day learning something new about Baekhyun and himself, putting a grin on his face.

Maybe it’s okay if he doesn’t remember who he was as long as he gets to be who he is now with the other by his side.

And looking at the other people in there with him, he found himself feeling lucky despite everything because he at least has the ability to remember the now.

Not everyone had that luxury.

Looking from across the room at the man sitting alone in the corner he thinks about the fact that he has to introduce himself over and over again whenever they pass by him because he can’t retain memory for longer than a few minutes. The woman talking animatedly to a group of people who tells the same story every day because she forgets that she already did.

Everyone in there has their memory ‘broken’ as Baekhyun puts it. The tall man thought himself one of the luckier ones.

He also found himself wondering, as he listened to his friend talk from across the table, why he was in there. From what he could see he seemed just fine.

Maybe he was like him.

Unfortunately it only took a few more days before he found out the answer to his question. He wished he hasn’t as he stared at a very confused looking Baekhyun staring at him with eyes that held no recognition. Smile no longer on his lips.

“Who are you?”

“Baekhyun…” The man felt lost at the frown that was now on the others face. Baekhyun never frowns. “It’s me. It’s your friend.”

The words only left him more confused as he sat on his bed.

Is this what he looked like that first morning?

“Who’s Baekhyun?”

The question had him wanting to scream as fear bubbled up to the surface. Something was wrong with Baekhyun. Something was very wrong.

Not knowing what to do, the taller of the two grabbed the now so familiar hand in his own and pulled him out of the room with hurried steps. Heart sinking as he felt the other try to pull his hand out; his protests falling on deaf ears.

He’s not letting him go until he knows what’s wrong and how to fix it.

Without stopping to knock, the two just ran into the office he went to every day, startling Dr. Min as they did. He was speaking in panic before she had time to blink, pulling the still confused Baekhyun to stand in front of him. “Something is wrong with Baekhyun.”

“Who are you?” Standing there with a frown, said man blinked at the unfamiliar woman before him as the strange man held onto his shoulders now. What was happening?

“Baekhyun,” A smile appeared on the woman’s face as she walked around her table to offer a hand to the shorter of the two. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Dr Min. I help the patients’ here.”

Baekhyun was frowning again as he stiffly shook the offered hand. “I’m…Baekhyun?” The name didn’t sound familiar even as it passed him own lips. “Am I in a hospital?”

The man still holding onto him squeezed his shoulders a bit too hard, making him wince as he tried to shrug him off. All that got him was more pain as said men felt like he was holding on for dear life.

Baekhyun was the only good thing in his life. Did he just lose him?

The thought was somehow worse than when he found out he has no memory. It felt so much worse to lose that smile he got used to seeing.

Will he ever see it again?

Seeing the shorter wince, the doctor moved her gaze to his panic stricken face. “Don’t worry, nothing is wrong with Baekhyun. I do think you’re holding onto him a bit too tight though.”

Nothing wrong? How could she say that? Baekhyun, his Baekhyun, his sunshine, didn’t know who he was. How is nothing wrong?

Still, he eased his grip on the other. Not wanting to hurt him.

“Baekhyun has just a little bit of a broken memory. Don’t you Baekhyun?”

“I don’t…Remember…”

The man wanted to scream at the words.

“That’s all right. That’s what I’m here for.” Her smile was reassuring. It did nothing to reassure the taller of the two. “You’ll be just fine. Actually your friend here can show you around if you want. Help you get acquainted with everything. What do you say?”

“My…friend?” Turning to look at the man behind him he was left confused even more. If he was his friend…Why can’t he remember him?

Eyes meeting the others brown ones, the man felt a small smile appear on his lips. Shaky but there.

That’s what Baekhyun did for him when he was confused, didn’t he? His smile was what made him feel like he will be okay.

“Yes, Baekhyun. Your good friend.” Dr. Min reassured with a smile. “Before that though, would you mind waiting outside for a minute. I would like to speak to him about something important.” She sent the taller a pointed look.

With a heavy heart he let go and watched Baekhyun walk off after a quick nod, not saying a word.

“Please take a seat, won’t you?” He was staring at the door that closed behind him as she spoke to get his attention again.

Doing as he was told, the man waited for an explanation. He needed an explanation, because he may have just lost his favorite person and it hurt. It hurt to see no recognition in those eyes and no smile on those lips.

He got so used to it that having it all just disappear like that felt like a cruel punishment for a crime he doesn’t remember committing.

“Look, Baekhyun needs you to be calm right now. He takes everything well if you don’t make a big deal of him not being able to remember anything.” Dr. Min explained, looking more tired then reassuring now that only he was left in the office.

“What is wrong with him?” He persisted. Not sure anymore if he really wanted to know the answer but needing to.

“When he was just a teenager he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and went through a rather abrasive surgery. They got everything out, but as a result his brain has a tendency to restart, sort of say.”

“Restart?”

“Just like you did, he loses all of his memory. Baekhyun just has no ability to get back what was lost.”

The words felt like they were suffocating him.

“Does this happen often?”

“Every few months.” There was a sad smile on her lips now as she watched the man before her take the news with fear in his eyes. “Baekhyun always goes back to being the person you met in here though. He just needs some time and someone there to guide him though his day to day life. The routine he’s used to. Can you do that for him? For your friend?” The question she was really asking was if he can handle it without freaking out on the other. The man could see it on her face. The warning.

Not even having to think about it, the answer past his lips.

Of course he will do it. For Baekhyun, the person who helped him though his own frustrations of forgetting, he can do anything.

After all he did the same for him weeks ago.

Now it’s just his turn to have someone there to seek comfort in.

Walking out of the office his eyes fell on the frowning man standing in the middle of the hallway, unsure what to do or where to go. At the sight, he smiled.

Because that’s what Baekhyun would do.

“Come on, it’s breakfast time.” Offering his hand to the other as a sign of an invitation to join him, relief washed over the man as it was taken after only slight hesitation. His smile grew bigger as he was now pulling the other forward for a change. “I’m sure everyone is just waiting to say hi to you.”

“They are?”

“Yes, of course. You’re definitely always my favorite part of waking up in the morning.”

“Why?”

“Because you are my friend of course.”

“So you are my friend too?”

Looking back at him, the man grinned. “Now you’re getting it.”

Baekhyun spent the day in the same fashion that he had when he first woke up, confused but letting himself be pulled to wherever the other wanted. It made the taller of the two smile as he watched him go through a stack of books in the library. The Baekhyun section. Where all of his favorite books lay.

The man wondered before why there was a Baekhyun section. Wouldn’t the caretakers just put the books back to their places and not leave them on the table like that?

However, now as he watched the other discover the books for the first time, he can clearly see why. Those books were a piece of Baekhyun. It would be a shame if he didn’t get to discover them after he had to start over. A hint of a smile appeared on his lips as he read the description of the one that Baekhyun has proudly stated he has read seven times.

Now thinking about it though, the man wondered exactly how many times he has read it and forgot.

Maybe he can keep track for him now.

He can remember for the both of them.

 

Going back into the now familiar routine was easier then the man expected as Baekhyun started relaxing around him again. Seeking out his hand as they walked, like he used to.

Slowly he was becoming himself again, even if that bright smile was still gone.

There were smaller smiles now. But they were equally as beautiful in his humble opinion. Then again, he didn’t think anything having to do with the other can be short of it.

Loosing himself in those eyes as he excitedly talked about the book he just read, one that the man has of course heard about before, but not caring because he could listen to it a hundred times and still, seeing Baekhyun so happy, will never get bored. Is it even possible to get bored of him?

Bored. Did he ever get bored before?

A memory of a guitar being played on the rooftop as his fingers went over the strings in practiced movements, had the man feeling like he was there. Being able to feel each string under his fingertips as if he was doing it right now.

His smile grew as he watched Baekhyun and remembered.

Maybe he can play for him one day.

Like he used to whenever he was bored.

 

Sharing the exciding news that he remembered something with the other as they walked back out of the library, hands loosely entwined, had him stopping and staring as a big smile stretched Baekhyun’s lips. That happy smile of his, accompanied by a ‘congratulations’.

Oh how he missed that smile.

Without even thinking about it the taller of the two leaned down, connecting their lips for a second as the two stood in the middle of the hallway. It was just a simple press of the lips, but the feeling of Baekhun’s own against his took his breath away.

Seeing the others smile grow brighter as he moved back, he couldn’t help but to grin in return. Heart beating fast as he thought that he could kiss him forever if he would smile at him like that afterwards.

Maybe he should.

 

 

Baekhyun was all big smiles again. But he was now also soft lips as they kissed whenever and wherever they could. The man felt as if he was a giddy teenager again; a memory of skipping class and sneaking out to meet up with someone underneath a tree in the far corner of the school yard coming forth as Baekhyun pulled him in for a kiss between shelves full of books.

Smiling into it, the man felt the whole world disappear other then the two of them.

Being with Baekhyun was easy. It was as if he can finally breathe even as his memories slowly came back. But they’re not important anyway. What was important were the others lips moving against his own as warm hands held onto him, as if asking to never let go.

He doesn’t think he ever could.

 

 

Remembering was frustrating as the weeks past. His head hurting as flashes of what was came and went. A flower pot on the windowsill he looked at every morning as he ate breakfast. The feeling of unfamiliar hands pulling him in. Walking through the rain without an umbrella because he forgot to take it again. A soft voice singing as the sound of his guitar filled the silence of their living room. facing him as the smell of coffee filled the kitchen. Arm hooking onto his own as they walked down the street.

Those scared him the most, because it wasn’t Baekhuyn. It was someone else. Someone he didn’t know in this life. A stranger. A stranger he once loved.

Of course he remembered other things too, faces of people. Parents and friend. A name of a band flashing above a club. His band. One that he remembers starting in high school with people who are nothing more but nameless faces now but once were friends.

He remembered the nervousness before their first gig. The feeling of happiness consuming him as he was finally able to save up for a small apartment of his own. The sadness of watching his grandma die in a hospital similar to this one.

He started to remember it all and it hurt.

On the days the memories bombarded his mind and he found himself not wanting to get out of bed, Baekhyun was there. Baekhyun with big smiles and warm hands lifting up the covers and joining him underneath them, holding onto the taller as he sang a soft lullaby in the voice he knew. The voice he loved. One he doesn’t think he will ever be able to forget.

The man held the memories of the stranger to himself even through those bad days. Because the other was there for him. He was always there for him, even when the headache forced him to stay in bed. Baekhyun made it better with kisses peppered all over his face and soft words of encouragement as he was reminded that his head hurts because he is remembering. And that’s a good thing.

Sometimes he thought he didn’t want to remember anymore.

With Baekhyun by his side he could be happy just as he is.

He could be as happy as he has been these past couple of months.

Was he happy before all of this?

Will he be happy afterwards?

As he leaned down to kiss the man he was currently pinning to the bed, a smile appeared on his face. He will always be happy as long as Baekhyun is there with him.

Whether he had his memories or not wasn’t important.

Not when his heart basically sang in his chest. A song he composed for Baekhyun somewhere between bright smiles and hushed whispers.

 

 

“Who are you?” Baekhyun looked confused as he sat on his bed, looking at him with eyes that didn’t know him yet.

It felt as if his heart was breaking, but the man smiled anyway. He will remind him again. He will remind him of what was forgotten. Just like he did before.

“I’m your…” Starting the familiar sentence the man felt something of a whisper in his mind. A voice he didn’t recognize, saying a word that didn’t sound familiar. Maybe it did though.

Chanyeol.

Is that his name?

“…Chanyeol.” The name past his lips as if it did a thousand times before.

“My Chanyeol” Baekhyun looked even more confused now, but the other only grinned.

“Yes. Your Chanyeol.”

“And who am I? I can’t…remember.” He frowned.

“You’re Baekhyun. Your memory is a little bit broken, but that’s okay.”

“It is?”

“Yes it is. Because I can remind you.” Chanyeol stood up, offering up his hand. “If you want to.”

There was only slight hesitation before Baekhyun took his hand.

Chanyeol’s heart skipped a beat.

 

 

“Good morning. How are you today Baekhyun?” Dr. Min stopped at their table during breakfast as she saw said man frown at his plate of food.

Looking up, his frown only deepened as he tried to place the face in his mind but was unable to. Just like with Chanyeol, she knew him but he just didn’t. Isn’t he supposed to remember something?

“That’s Dr. Min, Baek.” The man across from him explained with a smile.

Oh. A small smile flashed on his face for a second. “Nice to meet you. Chanyeol says you always help me when I forget.” Can you help me remember? The question was left unsaid as his hand was being squeezed under the table. This man, who was a stranger still, was reassuring him as if he has done it so many times before and his heart sped up. Did it always do that when he was with the man?

Why can’t he remember? He wanted to remember Chanyeol.

The one with the big smiles who knew so much about him even as he knew nothing. One that his heart seems to be so familiar with as it beats faster at the sight of that smile.

Who is he to him?

“Chanyeol?” Dr. Min looked confused, yet hopeful as she looked at the taller, who grinned.

“That’s my name. I remember my name.” He exclaimed with excitement that had her smiling too.

“That’s great Chanyeol. So your memories are still coming back steadily?”

He nodded.

“Good. Good. Then we have much to talk about on our session today. You can take care of Baekhyun right?”

“Always Dr. Min.”

She shook her head with a smile as she walked away. These two.

 

 

Almost a year has passed since Chanyeol was admitted in the hospital and by now he remembered little but knew so much.

He remembered his parents faces but had no names to pair them with. Remembered the feeling of going swimming in the lake on hot summer mornings, and drinking hot chocolate as he watched the snow fall outside his window. The sound of music as they stood on the stage and just played; Chanyeol losing himself in it as his fingers went over the strings of his worn out guitar with practiced movements.

Those were the things he remembered. And it was good to remember again, it made him smile even after a particularly rough day or a sleepless night. On those nights Baekhyun was always there to make it better. To make him forget everything but the two of them as they shared kisses between rustled sheets. Moments like those were when he stopped remembering and started knowing.

Knowing Baekhyun.

He knew he loved it best when the man would smile into their kisses as he tangled slim fingers into his hair. Knew what his skin felt when pressed against his own, pail and smooth as Chanyeol pressed light kisses against it, behind their rooms closed doors. Loving the feeling of his warm body pressed against his own as they fell into slumber in his bed every night.

He knew he will never get bored of watching Baekhyun fall in love with him over and over again, nor hearing the ‘I love you’s’ whispered between kisses as he felt like drowning in the other and those eyes that always seemed to search him out in any room.

He knew Baekhyun. He knew what flavor of ice-cream he loved, even if he didn’t remember his own. He knew that hearing an ‘I love you’ pass Chanyeol’s lips for the first time always gets him pulled into a kiss that took him breath away. He knew so much as he fell in love with a man who always ends up forgetting him in the end.

But that’s alright. That’s what he has Chanyeol for.

To remind him over and over again just how loved he is.

Even now, as the two laid in bed, Baekhyun drawing patterns over the others with a touch as light as a feather, Chanyeol smiled. Happy.

This is what happiness feels like.

A kiss pressed onto his shoulder blade had the man opening his eyes.

Baekhyun looks beautiful; the thought passed his mind as their eyes met and a small smile was sent his way. Baekhuyn always looks beautiful though.

“I don’t want to forget you again.” It was a mere whisper, but it made Chanyeol’s heart beat faster as he wrapped his arms around the other, holding him close.

“Don’t worry.” He replied, face buried in his hair. “I’ll remind you.”

“I wish you didn’t have to.” Something wet hit Chanyeol’s chest and he knew he was crying. He just held him tighter. Not intent on ever letting him go. “What cruel thing must I have done to be punished in this way? Cursed to forget the man I love again and again.”

“Your heart never forgets, Baek.” The taller pressed a kiss o top of his head, the only place he could reach at the moment as Baekhyun held onto him for dear life. “Your heart always remembers even when your mind fails to.”

A little choked sob left the others mouth.

Chanyeol just held him that much closer as he let him cry. Vowing silently that he will always be there to remind him, to make him smile.

No matter what his memories reveal of his past life, he will always be there to watch Baekhyun fall in love as he reminds him with soft kisses and big smiles.

An image of a stranger with big brown eyes and small smiles flashed in his mind, and for a moment his heart squeezed painfully.

 

As morning came and the sun illuminated the two figures on through the small window, Chanyeol found himself stepping onto the bed with a black marker. Listening to Baekhyun laugh from beneath as he wrote his name on the ceiling above the bed they have been sharing.

Your name is Baekhyun. It said and he grinned before continuing underneath the words. You love Chanyeol.

Happy with his work, the man stepped back down, only to be pulled in for a kiss. A silent thank you, as Baekhyun knew that even when he forgets the other will always be there to remind him.

Just as Chanyeol knew that his brain may forget him but his heart never seems to.

He reminded Baekhyun of that with soft kisses between sheets, moans filling the room with each new touch.

This must be what it feels like to be in love.

 

 

“Are your memories still coming back Chanyeol? How is your head?”

“They are but…” The image of the unfamiliar man smiling at him flashed before his eyes, a constant reminder of what he probably lost. “What if I don’t want to remember?”

“It’s because of Baekhyun, isn’t it?”

At the mention of the name Chanyeol smiled, as his heart did the weird twisty thing it always did when the other was involved. “Yes.”

She just smiled at him, putting her notepad down on her lap. “You can always take him with you when you leave you know. You remembering your past doesn’t mean forgetting about your present.”

She was right, he knew. But there was a feeling of dread filling his entire body with each new memory that appeared in his mind. Feeling as if his little bubble of Baekhyun won’t take long before it’s broken by reality. Broken by big brown eyes that started to hunt his dreams.

Will he really be able to hold onto Baekhyun through it all?

Chanyeol felt scared. Truly scared for the first time since he saw that smile that made him fall in love.

 

It was only a few weeks past before he saw him. A man walking through the doors of the cafeteria, where he and Baekhyun have been eating lunch, with Dr.Min right there by his side. She was explaining something as his eyes searched the room.

The face was familiar. It had Chanyeol’s blood run cold.

Their eyes met and the stranger smiled with what looked like relief, while Chanyeol’s whole world seemed to be crumbling down as his hand slipped out of Baekhyun’s and memories flooded him like a tidal wave.

This isn’t what he wanted.

Chanyeol didn’t notice Dr. Min walk towards him until her hand touched his shoulder lightly. He jerked away at the sudden touch but she only smiled.

“Chanyeol, there’s someone here to meet you.”

Baekhyun was looking at him curiously from across the table, but gave a thumbs up and a smile as he looked back at him, feeling lost.

He wanted to take his hand and run.

But he didn’t. Instead nodding almost mechanically and walking with Dr. Min, feeling the man right by his side, his hand brushing against his own before Chanyeol stuck both of his in his pocket, not daring to look at the man’s face. It was only when they were safely in her office that she spoke, introducing the man who was standing next to her now.

“Chanyeol, this is Do Kyungsoo. He knows you.” He swallowed hard, feeling a lump in his throat as he watched the other, looking like he was holding back a sob while Chanyeol just stood there.

Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol’s head hurt as flashes of memories forgotten ran through his mind. Memories of smiles and tears and late nights.

His heart beat faster even as a tear slipped down his cheek.

“Soo…” The nickname felt as if he has said it thousands of times. Has he?

At hearing it the other ran for a hug, the sob he was holding onto releasing as he hugged him tight.

Instinctively, Chanyeol brought his own arms up and hugged him back, looking over his shoulder at Dr. Min as he did. Being only met by a sad smile she hasn’t given him since Baekyun lost his memory the first time. So it was that kind of a situation again.

Soo

Who are you to me Do Kyungsoo?

 

“Hey, who was that? Someone you know?” Baekhyun greeted him excitedly as the man entered their room, feeling as if he was breaking down piece by piece.

“Yea.” Was the only reply Chanyeol was capable of making as he sunk down on the bed where the other lay. Wanting nothing more but to get lost in him and never come back out. Wishing to forget again because of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was the one his heart belonged to. The one he truly loved.

But looking at Baekhyun grin at him now, happy for him to have an opportunity to have his life back, had it hurting.

The congratulations leaving his lips being cut off as Chanyeol pulled him in for a kiss. He needed to burn the memory of Baekhyun into his mind while he still could; having the feeling that their days are numbered as Kyungsoo’s words went through his mind.

“You’re finally coming home.” He had said with a big smile.

Can it be a home without Baekhyun in it?

 

 

Chanyeol spent the next two months permanently attached to Baekhyun even as Kyungsoo came to visit every day; asking him to come home every time he did.

The man could see that he was hurting Kyungsoo with his constant refusal, but even as he remembered him, remembered the love they share, he still continued refusing because Baekhyun remembers still.

He can’t leave while Baekhyun still remembers him. No matter what; Chanyeol still loves him enough that he doesn’t want to hurt him like that.

That’s what he kept telling himself as he watched the other sleep in his arms, a small smile on his lips.

It hurt to see it.

How could it not when he now knew that he loved Kyungsoo; that Baekhyun was just a temporary happiness he was granted while his real love searched to find him.

Chanyeol could feel it. His heart remembered him well.

Which is why he only smiled as the familiar words reached him through the quiet room. “Who are you?”

Chanyeol felt as if his heart was breaking as he brushed his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, feeling the scar on his scalp as he stared at the eyes that held no recognition. Ones that never will again. “No one important.” He stood up, small bag holding his few belongings in hand. “Your name is Baekhyun though. You don’t remember much, but you’ll be alright.”

The question is will he be.

Chanyeol left, not daring to look back at the man who will no longer know who he was, because he is about to break his promises. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe it’s what he was always destined to do.

After all, loving Baekhyun wasn’t supposed to happen anyway. It was always Kyungsoo. This hospital, Baekhyun, none of it was a part of his life. And it’s about time the man goes back to it.

 

Watching the door close behind the tall stranger, Baekhyun frowned before looking up, being met by his own reflection in a mirror that was taped over his bed. Above it the words ‘Your name is Baekhyun’ were written in black marker.

He stared as his frown was reflected right at him.

Where am I?

 

Bringing Kyungsoo the news that he will finally be coming home, had a big smile appear on his lips as he pulled Chanyeol into a kiss. It felt familiar. Kissing him back felt as normal as breathing. Still, he couldn’t stop his heart from hurting.

With time; he reassured himself as the others hand slipped into his own and he walked out through the big white doors for the first time since he woke up confused and disoriented a little over a year ago. With time I’ll remember how to love him again. With time my heart will stop hurting.

The man wasn’t sure if he was reassuring or convincing himself. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

 

 

“The guys can’t wait to see you. They missed you a lot. Do you remember them?” Kyungsoo talked as he and Chanyeol walked through the familiar doors of their apartment. It was familiar. It was home. The taller looked around; noticing that not much has changed from the hazy memory appearing in his mind.

Home.

Eyes passing over his guitar still leaning against the chair in the corner, a smile stretched his lips. He’s home.

“I remember.” He replied simply, fingers passing over the wood of his baby. The guitar he has had since he was twelve years old. It showed its wear and tear that all of those years exposed it to, but it was still Chanyeol’s most precious possession.

Watching from the doorway Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile. “I couldn’t bare move any of your things, so they are still as you left them.”

“Thank you, Soo.” Chanyeol said with a smile, making the others heart skip a beat. He missed that big smile of his.

 

 

Days past in their apartment, their home, and Chanyeol remembered. He remembered Kyungsoo.

He remembered meeting him at the age of six. Memories of falling in love, going on their first date, the first time he kissed him and the happiness it brought him. He remembered feeling like his heart will burst from the love he felt for the other.

He remembered it, but somehow it didn’t feel the same anymore. Things changed in the year he was gone. His heart didn’t beat as fast anymore with every kiss, he didn’t crave to touch anymore as he slept on the far edge of the bed even as memories of smiles filled him. They have always been happy. Their love surviving even through the hardships it was sometimes thrown at.

However, as Chanyeol woke up to the sight of a bare ceiling, he frowned. Loving Kyungsoo was hard sometimes, complicated even, as they’ve been through a lot on their path to where they are now. He couldn’t help himself from comparing it to loving Baekhyun. To the love that was easy and almost pure. They didn’t have many hardships; there were always just those bright smiles.

It was a different kind of love, he knew. One that didn’t have to be worked for, but just was.

Sighing, he looked at the man sleeping next to him. He remembers mornings like this, when he would just stop and stare, before waking Kyungsoo up with soft kisses and big smiles.

They worked hard to get where they are now. It was ten years of love and anger and frustration, but also happiness. Chanyeol knew he couldn’t just let that kind of love go. Because he did still love him, his love hasn’t changed, it hasn’t disappeared or faded. That’s why he came back with him and broke every promise he made in the past year. It was for love he once thought could rival no other.

Maybe he has changed though. Maybe Baekhyun was the one to change him as he filled his heart when no one else did.

Still, Chanyeol would be a fool if he let Kyungsoo go.

He needs to fight for them now, owes the other that much. After all, ten years wasn’t a small amount of time. And just a year ago he remembers thinking how he could never live without him.

But he already has, hasn’t he?

Maybe Chanyeol was a fool either way.

 

 

“Oh man you must have been so bored while in there.” Sehun exclaimed as he sat opposite Chanyeol, stuffing his face with food.

He smiled. He remembers Sehun. His best friend. The first person he would always go to if he needed someone to talk to; first one he confessed to that he might be gay. Remembering that awkward conversation had Chanyeol cringe. Some things really should have been left forgotten.

Next to him sat Luhan, he remembers him too. Button nose, blond hair and a voice of an angel. Luhan was the one he started his band with in the first place. Him and Kyungsoo were the main vocalists while he and Lay, who sat next to Chanyeol now, did the back vocals and played whatever instrument was needed for certain songs. It mostly left the man on guitar duty, but it’s not like he minded that.

Being surrounded by his friends again made Chanyeol grin big. He missed them. This was what home felt like. Annoying people stuffing their faces.

“Actually no. I had things to do.” An image of Baekhyun flashed before his eyes but he pushed it down. It hurt too much to remember him. And yet he couldn’t stop.

“Like what?” Luhan raised an eyebrow at him.

“I read so many books, and made friends, and was just happy I guess.” He could feel Kyungsoo stiffen next to him. He was happy without him. “It was like all time stopped and it was just me existing with no worry or stress. It was nice.” Seeing the surprised faces of his friends, he quickly added. “But, I’m happy to be back. No one could replace you guys of course.“

Patting Kyungsoo’s thigh, he felt guilty. The man has been so tentative around him since he came home. He couldn’t blame him though. It’s not like he went around like he did before. He avoided the other while in bed and never once did he initiate a kiss. He knew he shouldn’t, knew he was hurting him, but just couldn’t bring himself to go back to how it was.

He was trying, but it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be.

He just needs some time.

 

 

Months past, and walking through their small apartment Chanyeol found himself remembering more and more. He remembered his friends. His band. His life. Kyungsoo.

Still, he couldn’t find it in himself to initiate their kisses. Still avoided the touches even though some time has passed now. His brain knew he should be used to being back by now. Used to being with Kyungsoo. Too bad his heart didn’t get the memo.

Because he did remember everything. And that everything meant Baekhyun too.

He found it easier to forget what he already lost then to forget Baekhyun. He doesn’t think he will ever be able to forget Baekhyun. Not with his big smiles and soft touches.

Chanyeol has seen him from the distance a few times in the first couple of weeks of coming back to his former life as he went to his semi daily sessions with Dr. Min. And he was happy to see that the other was still smiling that happy smile of his. He was happy to just watch him from the distance. But then it got painful.

Walking to the office, the door of it opened before he had a chance to knock. Revealing a man who blinked at him before smiling. “Hi, I don’t think I’ve seen you before. I’m Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol’s heart squeezed painfully at the words, feeling like it’s hard to breathe.

After that he found another therapist. A closer one, because it was more convenient. Definitely not because of Baekhyun. Nor the fact that he is out there, not knowing who Chanyeol is.

Laying in bed next to a sleeping Kyungsoo, Chanyeol missed the days of introducing himself as his Chanyeol. Does his heart still remember him? He wondered.

Does it hurt as much as his does?

 

 

 

It was yet another night where the pain in his head enabled him to sleep, and Chanyeol found himself with fingers pressed against the strings of his guitar as the melody he has been playing with filled the silent apartment at two in the morning.

Memories of Baekhyun helping him forget about the pain on nights like this one filling his mind. Baekhyun. Baekhyun with his slender fingers and small smiles only he got to see, as his own fingers ghosted over pale skin. The man Chanyeol could whisper I love you’s to for hours and still feel like it was the first time as their lips met in a kiss he couldn’t help but smile in.

He smiled now as he remembered.

Maybe he was never meant to forget anyway. Not Baekhyun. Never Baekhyun.

His Baekhyun.

“That’s beautiful.” A voice came from behind him, startling the man as he looked towards the source, only to find Kyungsoo leaning on the doorframe leading to their bedroom.

He must have woken him up.

A twinge of guilt filled him even as he continued his playing, feeling more than seeing the other sit down on the couch next to him. “Something new?”

Chanyeol hummed in response, eyes closing again.

“Have any lyrics yet? I’m sure Luhan would love to get his hands on it.” Kyungsoo’s voice was soft as he listened to Chanyeol play. Warmth settling in his chest at the familiarity of it.

“It’s not done yet.”

It was true. It wasn’t done. But it wasn’t the lyrics that were missing, but a particular kind of voice.

Baekhyun’s.

However, he couldn’t tell Kyungsoo that. He can’t tell him that he wrote a song for another. One inspired by bright smiled and soft kisses that made his heart sing. He can’t say that because this is Kyungsoo. The only person he has ever written songs for.

So he stayed quiet as fingers went over guitar strings with practiced movements. Not able to stop his wonderings of how Baekhyun’s voice would sound entwined with this melody. Would he like the song. Would he know it was for him?

Maybe thinking he could go back to his life after Baekhyun was a mistake.

 

 

Standing before the big calendar on the wall Chanyeol marked down the schedule Luhan has just sent him, drawing little smiling faces on the dates they had managed to get hired for. A few weddings, a festival, opening up for an upcoming concert; they were finally at a point where business was steady. It made him smile as he wrote the time next to his little smiley, before stopping mid line as he actually looked at the month.

It was already May.

The man’s eyes fell on the little square with the number six written in it; it was empty. No events on that day; and yet there was one.

May 6^th. That was Baekhyun’s birthday.

Chanyeol remembered the big smile on the man’s face when he was presented with a cake by the caretakers as they entered the cafeteria, the surprise and wonder as he was told it was his birthday. It was his day.

“Chanyeol! It’s my birthday!” Baekhyun exclaimed with a huge grin as he got to eat cake for breakfast.

“Happy birthday Baek.” The other chuckled, accepting the forkful of cake Baehyun held up to his mouth. He loved seeing him this happy. Chanyeol made a quick mental note of the date.

“Do you remember when your birthday is?”

“Not really.” If it was any other time he would have probably been bothered by the fact. But not now. Not with Baekhyun looking so happy as he stuffed his face with cake.

“We can share!”

Chanyeol grinned, accepting another forkful. “I’d love that.”

Smiling, Chanyel put a little X over the date.

Does he have anyone to share his birthday with now? He wondered as his heart squeezed painfully at the thought of the other eating cake on his own.

He was starting to think that no time will be enough to forget about Baekhyun.

Maybe it was time he stops trying.

 

 

“You still don’t remember me, do you?” Kyungsoo’s voice broke as he was once again met with the sight of Chanyeol sleeping on the couch, instead of the bed with him.

Hearing it, said man closed his eyes, not baring to look at him. “I do.” That’s the problem.

He left the second part unsaid as a flash of a bright smile appeared in his mind. An itching for a familiar touch having him sitting up in order to face Kyungsoo now. He has tried. For half a year he tried going back to how it was, but it just wasn’t happening. He can’t hurt himself like this anymore.

“You do?” Kyungsoo looked hopefully as he touched Chanyeol’s arm. The simple contact had him recoiling back, not wanting this even as a memory of the two of them sharing a lazy morning in bed came forth. Happy; he thought. They were happy.

Knowing what he is about to do, it hurt to remember.

Looking at the hurt expression on his face, Chanyeol felt awful as a different tear streaked face showed in his mind.

They were happy.

“Is it the man from the hospital?” Kyungsoo was always smart. A sad smile appeared on his lips as Chanyeol felt bitterness consume him. Before the accident Kyungsoo has been his everything. He could remember it so clearly now. All the days and nights they spent together. All the hardship and all the smiles.

But images of bright smiles and warm hands in his own were what appeared when he thought of happiness now. Before, Kyungsoo was his happiness.

Now…

“Chanyeol! Come on, get up, you lazy . Chanyeooool!”Pulling him down on top of him, Baekhyun let out a laugh as he was wrapped in his arms now. “I said get up, not pull me down.”

“I prefer you here.” He has smiled. Happy.

He doesn’t think Kyungsoo was his happy anymore. But having his memories come back… It hurt to let him go.

“Baekhyun. His name is Baekhyun.”

“You fell in love…While in there….Didn’t you?” Looking at him now, Kyungsoo looked…Broken.

Chanyeol has never seen him broken. He hated it.

But if he continues like this; he will just end up breaking himself too.

“I’m sorry.”

 

 

Chanyeol stared at the closed door with a blank expression, the sound of it closing still echoing on his mind even as the apartment stayed silent now. He was alone.

Most of the books from the shelves were gone, as was the leather jacket that always seemed to hang right next to the door, and the shoes that would pile up amongst his own until they both just expected to be tripped over when coming inside.

Without even looking he knew the closet was half empty too. Gone. It was all gone. Kyungsoo was gone.

The man he has loved for most of his life just walked out of it with a suitcase and tears silently falling down his face. Not once did he yell or scream at Chanyeol as he broke his heart with two simple words.

Maybe it would have been easier if he had; he thought as his own heart felt like shuttering. Would anything have been able to make it easier?

Probably not.

Definitely not.

Not able to stay in their empty apartment anymore, Chanyeol was quick to throw a handful of the first clothes he could find into a bag. Feeling like he was suffocating even as he slung it over his shoulder and headed out the door.

There was only one person he needed to see. Only one person who can make his heart stop feeling like it will break into a million pieces any moment now.

It was time he goes back to fulfill the promises he has so foolishly broken.

Grabbing his guitar as more of an afterthought, Chanyeol was out of the door in a matter of minutes. The apartment, his apartment, never felt this empty after all. Nor has his heart.

He needs to fix things.

 

 

The drive to the hospital took three hours. To Chanyeol it felt like at least double that though.

And yet it was all too soon that he found himself standing before doors that were all too familiar. Knocking, he was filled with nervousness.

“Come in.” Dr. Min’s voice called out from inside the office.

One more deep breath and Chanyeol was pushing the door open.

“Oh.” She looked surprised by seeing the man walk into her office again. After all he did say he won’t be coming back anymore months ago. “Chanyeol, hi. Didn’t expect you. Everything alright?”

Sitting down in front of her desk, Chanyeol thought it be best if he just goes straight to it. She probably guessed why he was there anyway. “I want to take Baekhyun home.”

She looked at the man in front of her, his face serious like it so rarely was. Seeing the dark circles under his eyes, she sighed. “Something happen with Mr. Kyungsoo?”

All he could do is give her a sad smile, as his heart hurt at the mention of the name. “He wasn’t Baekhyun. I thought that I could go back to my life, but it wasn’t the same. Please, let me take Baekhyun home.”

“Are you sure you want that?” She questioned, unsure if he was stable enough to take care of someone like Baekhyun. Not in his current state at least. He looked worse than he did when he was admitted. “You would have to, under law, become his main caretaker. It isn’t a rush decision kind of thing Chanyeol.”

“I’m not making a rush decision.” He insisted. “I love him. You know this.”

“You loved Kyungsoo too.”

“Not enough.” The mention of the other had Chanyeol remembering the pain of the door closing behind the man as he left. Still, it was nothing compared to the pain of not seeing Baekhyun for months. “It’s different with Baekhyun.” Unknowingly his lips twitched up in the corners for a small smile at the mention of his name.

“Okay.” She relaxed a little at seeing it. “I’ll talk to his parents and see what I can do.”

“His parents?” Her words got him confused. “I thought he was alone.” I thought that’s why he was here.

“Not all people can deal with their loved ones forgetting them over and over again, Chanyeol. A lot of people are admitted here because their family couldn’t take being forgotten anymore.”

“That’s selfish.” The man deadpanned, feeling disgusted. All of this time Baekhyun had people who could care for him but all they did is send him away. How could someone do something like that to such a good person?

“It’s human nature.” She offered, taking some papers out of one of the drawers. “We’re not here to judge. Now, the paperwork will take a couple of days to be all set before you can take Baekhyun anywhere.” She glanced towards the clock. “But it is almost one.” Dr. Min pointed out. “I’m sure you know where to find him.”

Chanyeol grinned at the words. Yes, he did know.

 

“Hello?” Baekhyun looked up from his plate in confusion as a tall man sat down opposite him. Does he know him? He was sure he never saw him before.

Hearing his voice, Chanyeol smiled, not able to look away from the man he has missed for so long. “Hi, Baekhyun.”

Oh. He did know him. Baekhyun smiled at the thought. “Hi. I’m sorry, am I supposed to know you?”

“No.” The man, the stranger, reached over and combed his fingers through his hair, moving the bangs out of his eyes. Baekhyun’s heart did a funny thing in his chest as he let him. Who was this man? “But, I’ll fix that. My name is Chanyeol.”

“Nice to meet you Chanyeol!” Baekhyun grinned at him happily.

That smile. He missed that smile.

Chanyeol’s heart beat faster as he just let himself listen to the other talk, knowing he will never be able to let him go again. He wouldn’t want to either. Baekhyun was his sunshine after all. He would be blind without him.

He has been.

Never again.

 

It was later, as night fell and Chanyeol found himself watching the other fall asleep in the room they once shared, that he reached for his guitar. Eyes closing as he let soft melodies fill the room that was filled with his most cherished memories.

He was home.

He didn’t notice his eyes closing, but they snapped open at a hushed voice coming from the opposite bed. “That’s beautiful.”

“Thank you.” Chanyeol smiled at the sleepy looking Baekhyun. “I wrote it for you.”

“You did?” The man looked surprised at his words.

Fingers stopping their movements, Chanyeol felt like kissing the confusion away. Itched to touch him, but stayed put. To Baekhyun they just met. He needs to be patient; he reminded himself. Baekhyun will come around. He always does.

So instead he just smiled. “Always Baek.”

It was silent after that and Chanyeol thought the other fell asleep again, but his next words proved him wrong. “You were someone important to me, weren’t you?” There was pain in his voice.

“Yes.”

“But I can’t remember. You were important, but I can’t…” Baekhyun felt frustrated as he tried to remember something he no longer could. This man who he never met before, that made his heart beat faster with just a smile, knew him. He was important to him once. How could he just forget?

Chanyeol reached over, wiping off the tears falling down the man’s face. “That’s okay.” He insisted, letting his hand rest on Baekhyun’s cheek for a moment longer before retreating back again. “I’m here to remind you. I’ll always be here to remind you.”

This time he doesn’t intend on breaking that promise.

 

 

Waking up to a sight of words written on the ceiling had a grin appearing on Chanyeol’s face. Now this is what home feels like.

“Good morning, Chanyeol.” The words were still laced with sleep as the man looked to his side, only to see Baekhyun still lying on his bed, eyes half closed.

“Good morning, Baek.”

Chanyeol felt happy. He had his Baekhyun back.

There was still one thing he had to fix though.

“Mind if you scoot over a bit?” Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he was met by a questioning look from Baekhyun, even as he did what was asked.

“What?” He was even more confused now as Chanyeol stood up on his bed, reaching up towards the ceiling.

“I’ll be quick. You can go back to sleep if you want.” He sent a smile down at the man still lying under the covers, before focusing on the task at hand.

Baekhyun watched him try to get a good grip on the edge of his mirror with confusion. No longer feeling sleepy; just, very very confused. Is there something wrong with his mirror?

“You know, you didn’t even notice when I put this up here.” Chanyeol talked as he pulled, feeling it slowly give way. “I mean you did spend nights in my bed those last few days, but I still kind of wish you’ve noticed.” Pulling the thing off successfully, he grinned at the man underneath him. “It was stupid of me to even try to hide it really. Forgive me?”

Baekhyun’s eyes went wide at seeing what was hidden under the mirror all this time. Words written in the same handwriting as the ones above them and as important as those were. It was put up there as a reminded, he knew.

It was a reminder of his name, so that he never forgets. And under it was a reminder of another name. Name of the person he loved.

Chanyeol.

The man’s heart beat faster as a big smile stretched his lips.

Yes, Chanyeol was indeed someone important.

 

 

 

“Chanyeol, where are you?” Luhan yelled right into his ear in near panic as Chanyeol answered his phone after no less than twenty missed calls from the man. “The wedding is tonight and you and Soo are MIA.” The words had him sitting up quickly, almost knocking Baekhyun off of the bed in the process.

Oh !

Baekhyun looked at him questioningly, but went back to his book as Chanyeol only shook his head as panic filled him now. How could he forget?

“Hyung…” He started slowly, not sure how to say this without being killed by the other. “Hyung I won’t be able to make it.”

“What do you mean you won’t be able to make it?” Chanyel winced at the loudness, pulling the phone away from his ear before he goes deaf.

“I’m sorry, but I had to go back to the hospital for something. Won’t be home for a few more days.”

“Chanyeol!” There goes his hearing. “You’re kidding me right?” He just gave a quiet ‘no’ before Luhan was yelling again. “You can’t be in another city when we have work do to you little ! Is Kyungsoo with you too?”

“I haven’t seen him since we broke up.” Chanyeol could feel Baekhyun’s eyes turn to him again at the words, but he just hugged him close. He can explain later.

“You what? Did you hit your head again?”

“No I didn’t.”

“But you and Soo- You are- You are the perfect couple! How could you! No, wait! How could you do this to me? I can’t go out there alone!”

“You have Lay.” He reminded him, but it did nothing to calm the man down.

“I need your voice for this set Yeol. And Kyungsoo’s”

“Lay can easily take over his parts, and I don’t know, ask Sehun to cover mine.”

“Chanyeol, no!” Luhan deadpinned, sounding terrified at the thought. It had him grinning.

“Oh come on Lu, you know he has the closest voice to mine. I mean you must have heard him sing in the shower at least once. And he knows all of the songs.”

“No, Chanyeol.” Luhan basically growled the words. “You know I don’t want him in any more parts of my life. It’s bad enough that I’m stuck living with him AND dating him.”

“Oh yea, poor you. Held at gunpoint, aren’t you?” The man teased. Sehun has always been Luhan’s one and only weakness, even if he refuses to acknowledge it.

“Chanyeol, you get your here right now!”

“No can do.” Absentmindedly he drew circles against Baekhyun’s hip bone with his thumb, being rewarded by a satisfied hum for it. A smile appeared on his lips. “Look, if you really don’t want Sehun, maybe you could ask Jongdae or Jongin. They can do too, right?”

“I am not going to be the one to break first and call Chen. That bastard can rot in hell for all that I care.” The words had Chanyeol rolling his eyes, even though the other couldn’t see it. “And if I remember correctly, Jongin was the one to threaten to make your life hell if you break his best friends heart. And what does Mr. Park-ing-Chanyeol do? Hm? You break his damn heart!”

“Look, I’m sorry. There is a good reason I swear. But he said make my life hell, not yours.”

“I’m sure that being your band mate and dating your best friend qualifies me to that hell as well.”

“You’re just stuck with Sehun then.”

There was silence for a minute. “I hate you.”

Chanyeol smiled. “Love you too, hyung.”

“This reason for leaving me stranded like this better be ing important Yeol.”

“Oh, he is. You’ll meet him soon.” Before more yelling could be heard, he ended the call. Seeing the phone beep with a new message in a matter of seconds.

Meet him????

“Your friend?” Baekhyun asked as Chanyeol laid back down next to him.

“Yea, he’s actually nice. You’ll meet him when we get home.”

“Home?” Isn’t this home?

“Home.” Chanyeol turned to face him. “Just the two of us. The apartment isn’t that big, but it fits two.”

Baekhyun smiled.

Home sounded nice.

 

Chanyeol's phone beeped with another message from Luhan later that day. A video of Sehun singing one of their songs attached to the text message.

I hate you

The man grinned at it.

You're welcome, hyung

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waking up, the man blinked, sleepiness holding onto him even as confusion sat in. On the ceiling words were written.

Your name is Baekhyun.

You love Chanyeol.

You’re home.

He frowned. Who’s name was Baekhyun? Was it his?

Next to him a man slept; his face didn’t look any more familiar then his current surroundings.

Who is that? Where was he?

Getting up from under the covers, his legs wobbled for a moment before keeping steady. None of this looked familiar. Not the white walls, nor the guitar in the corner. And definitely not the man with whom he apparently shared the bed.

But… He couldn’t remember what was familiar either. Why can’t he remember anything?

Walking out of the bedroom with quiet steps did nothing to help his confusion as he was once again met by a room he didn’t recognize. How can this be home? It didn’t feel like home.

To his left a big calendar hung on the wall, showing all twelve months and marked all over with words like: Baekhyun’s birthday, wedding anniversary, Chanyeol’s birthday, band rehearsal, concert, hyung’s birthday and so many more. It felt as if he was reading about someone else’s life; but as he brought his hand up to touch the scribbled out words, something metal shone on his finger. A ring.

The man’s frown only deepened. Was this his life he was looking at marked on the calendar? But, why can’t he remember it?

Isn’t he supposed to remember things?

Feeling as if he was suffocating, he moved to walk to the front door again. Wanting nothing more than to get away from this place that made his head hurt. Before he could make it though, he was stopped by a mirror.

It reflected his confused face right back at him, but more importantly, it was surrounded by dozens of pictures. Pictures of his own face smiling as the man he woke up next to held him close, as if they knew each other. But he doesn’t know him. Why can’t he remember?

Above his head the word Baekhyun was scribbled again. Was it his name?

Above the other man’s head, read Chanyeol. He remembered that name from the ceiling too.

Pictures of the two of them smiling, happy, familiar, were plastered on the wall all around the mirror and Baekhyun found himself turning the ring on his finger as his eyes moved from one to another.

He looked happy.

Why can’t he remember then?

There were other pictures too. Pictures with more names scribbled above them. Names like Luhan, Sehun, Yixing, Jongdae, Jongin… None of those faces looked familiar either.

Baekhyun’s head started to hurt as he stared, unable to look away and yet feeling as if he was looking into someone else’s life, even as his own face showed in front of him.

“Baekhyun?” A sleepy voice calling from behind him had the man turning towards where he came from. The man from before was standing in the doorway, looking at him.

Chanyeol.

That was the name that was written on the picture.

“I can’t…” The man felt lost. If this was his home, his life, why can’t he remember any of it?

On the man’s finger gleamed a ring matching his own.

Baekhyun’s eyes filled with tears. Why can’t he remember?

Arms pulled him into a warm embrace, his face being pressed against the others chest as frustrated tears fell down his cheeks. Was something wrong with him?

As if hearing his thoughts, the man spoke against his ear, deep voice soothing. “Nothing is wrong with you Baek.“ Baekhyun didn’t feel that convinced. He would be able to remember if nothing is wrong. Wouldn’t he?

“Chanyeol…” He whispered the name that he still didn’t recognize, as he held onto the man that felt like a stranger. But was he?

“That’s okay. Your memory is just a little bit broken. But look.” Dethatching himself from Baekhyun, the man whipped the tears off of his face and gave a smile before holding onto his hand and pressing it against his heart. The confused man could feel it beat faster at seeing that smile. “Your heart still remembers me. That’s the important part.”

“W-Who are you to me?”

The man smiled brighter. “I’m your Chanyeol.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Aaaaaaaand I'm done. This ended up so loooooong. But so worth it! Please leave a comment below and maybe upvote too.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the EXTRA scenes + EPILOGUE!