Red Tulip: Used to symbolize everlasting love. 

“We’ll have to have lunch one of these days to really get down to the nitty gritty of the wedding.” Seokjin says, leading the couple and Yoongi out the door. More leading Jimin than anyone else, Yoongi was practically in the car already. Seokjin had noticed that Yoongi had been very quiet as the older man and Jimin had caught up.

“Of course, Hyung! You are my best man after all.” Jimin turns to Seokjin with a big smile on his face.

“Is that so?” amusement is laced in Seokjin’s words.

“Duh! You are my closest friend and I was yours when… you know. Anyway we’ve been friends since we were kids.” Jimin shuffles out the door, “So you don’t have a choice! See you soon, Hyung.”

When the bell above the door chimes, signifying the departure of Jimin, Seokjin lets out a groan. Both of his hands clap against his cheeks and he squeezes his eyes shut. His face flushes with embarrassment. His thoughts drift to his interaction with Yoongi. What was he thinking!? God he must have made a fool out of himself!

Seokjin had just found himself feeling so flustered when he had realized who had been holding his son. When they had first met Yoongi had been covered from head to toe in black, the only thing that Seokjin could look at were his eyes. So it wasn’t until the flower shop owner took a good, long look at Yoongi’s face that he recognized the customer. However, today he wasn’t covered and actually getting a chance to see Yoongi’s whole face was doing things to Seokjin.

Yoongi’s skin was just as pale as when they had met over a month ago, even though the sun was out everyday. His thin lips formed into a pout when he spoke, which Seokjin found incredibly endearing. The shorter man had a cute button nose, and just like Jungkook had said his cheeks certainly looked squishy.

Seokjin found himself getting lost in checking out the stranger, when he noticed the intense gaze of Yoongi. He had been looking back and forth between Seokjin and Jungkook, and the older knew why. He was trying to piece together the story. A story that Seokjin didn’t want to look back on ever again.

To distract both of them from a path that would only lead to tears, Seokjin opted to keep things professional. He brought up Yoongi’s previous purchase. Surprisingly, everything was going great. Over the years Seokjin had lost his ability to participate in small talk, especially with people he didn’t know. Strangers asked questions. Questions Seokjin didn’t want to answer.

But then he had to go and ruin it! Seokjin had successfully used his son as an excuse to leave the conversation. Leave the scrutinizing gaze of Yoongi. However, the image of Yoongi holding Jungkook, who wasn’t screaming and crying, popped into his mind. He felt warmth spread through his chest at the thought of Jungkook actually approaching a stranger. So then Seokjin’s heart got ahead of his brain and he opened his stupid mouth.

“I’m glad to see you again.”

God. Just thinking about those words caused Seokjin to cringe. Of course he was happy to see Yoongi again. He felt oddly at peace around the man of few words. So did Jungkook apparently. However, Seokjin felt like an idiot for voicing them aloud. What was he? A school girl with a crush, who spoke to said crush in a hushed voice!

All it took was for Seokjin to dwell on the confused look on Yoongi’s face to break himself free of those silly emotions. He could tell with the slight discomfort in Yoongi’s posture, that he had been uncomfortable when holding Jungkook. There were also the questions that went unasked about Jungkook’s other parent. Yoongi definitely wasn’t a fan of kids and wanted to know far more than he should. Both aspects were too dangerous for Seokjin.

Plus, Seokjin shouldn’t even be thinking about another person like that. His main focus had to be his son. Even though Jungkook had been practically a baby when Namjoon died, the child was still traumatized. He already started life abandoned by his biological parents, for whatever reason. Then he had spent the first two years of his life passed from home to home. All of this put together festered into the child being far more shy than his peers. Seokjin had to watch out for anything that would cause his child distress. He had to be as strong as two parents all on his own.

Then there was the sinking feeling of guilt that Seokjin had felt after he had finally gotten Jungkook under his blankets. The flower shop owner felt like he was betraying his late husband. They had never talked about what they would do if the other passed; they were far too young to be thinking about such things. All this time Seokjin hadn’t so much as looked at another man the way he had Namjoon. Then just randomly, Seokjin had found himself checking out a former customer.

When Seokjin thought of the fact that he might be betraying Namjoon he almost broke down into tears. Much like he was about to in the middle of his store when he thought about all of this over again.

“Jin-Hyung, are you okay?” Taehyung’s concerned voice sounded from behind him.

Seokjin raised his face from his palms and quickly blinked away the haze over his eyes. After clearing his throat, Seokjin his heel and beamed at his employee. “Of course. Did you clean out the back?”

“Do I have to.” The younger whined, completely distracted from the weird stance Seokjin had just been standing in.

“Hmmm. I guess we can let it go for one day.” Seokjin said. The younger man let out a squeal of excitement and in the flash of an eye scooped Seokjin up into a tight hug.

“You are the best big brother ever!”

Jin went rigid in Taehyung’s hold. Yet another reminder of Namjoon. The haze quickly returned to Seokjin’s eyes and his throat constricted. Once his own words caught up with him, Taehyung quickly let go of Seokjin. His own eyes looked glassy and his lips began to tremble. Taehyung honestly looked like a kicked puppy, which kicked Seokjin into dad mode.

“Tae, it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah.It’s just that sometimes- Well sometimes I just forget…” Taehyung started to sniffle.

Jin softly smiled and opened his arms up, accepting Taehyung into another hug, “It’s okay that it’s not always in the forefront of your mind.”

“I know.” Taehyung took a pause to collect his thoughts, “I know that. It’s good to move on, but I still feel bad. It’s like I’m betraying him when I say things like that.” Taehyung tightens his arms around Seokjin. His hands fist at the fabric of Seokjin’s shirt. The small actions reminds Seokjin so much of both Namjoon and Jungkook.

Both of them would cling onto Seokjin when they hugged the handsome man. Namjoon had said it was because he was always scared that Seokjin was actually just a figment of his imagination.  The two would joke back and forth that Seokjin would just blow away in the wind as if he was made of sand. Jungkook, and Taehyung apparently, must have picked up the habit from Namjoon, because they did the same thing.

“Namjoon knows you don’t mean it maliciously.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am. I’m always right.” They both begin to laugh a little. Taehyung steps out of the embrace and wipes away the few stray tears that fell.

“He would want us to move on.” When Seokjin stayed silent Taehyung spoke up again, “I really think that he would be really proud of us for accomplishing all we have without him here. He would be happy that we are getting on with our lives.”

‘Would he though?’ Seokjin couldn’t help but think.

These past years he’s never really had to think about it. It was always the plan for Seokjin to open his own business, it’s just that when they were younger it had been a restaurant. However, things change and so do people. So he never felt that he was disappointing Namjoon in any way, because he was still creating his own thing.

Then when it came to dating the thought had never really come to Seokjin. He had been to busy raising Jungkook to even think about it really. The past three years Seokjin hadn’t even looked at another man with the intent to date them. That is until Yoongi came around and made Seokjin feel all weird. Just like Taehyung had, he felt incredibly guilty when he thought about betraying his late husband.

However, Taehyung also had a good point when he pointed out that Namjoon would want them to move on. The rapper had never been a selfish person. Namjoon had always given Seokjin everything he wanted, and then some. Most of the time when they argued, Namjoon would give in to Seokjin’s desires with little to no complaint. So it wasn’t that far fetched to think that Namjoon would be okay with Seokjin dating again, right?

It had been three years after all and Jungkook didn’t require the same amount of attention that he did as a toddler. Not to say that Seokjin would overlook his responsibility as a father. Jungkook was still his main priority and always would be. That’s why Yoongi could never be the one that Seokjin dated. If he wanted to start dating again, of course.

The shorter man looked terrified when he had been holding Jungkook. He very clearly didn’t look like he enjoyed holding the child, even though Jungkook was more than content. There was no way that Yoongi could be the coparent of Jungkook. Seokjin needed someone who was capable of looking after a child. If that meant that Seokjin was going to be alone till the day he died, then so be it. He had survived three years and he could easily go the rest of his life.

“Hyung, you should let me set you up on a blind date.” Taehyung says offhandedly, when an uncomfortable amount of time passed with Jin saying nothing.

“Oh god no! You would set me up with one of your friends.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Taehyung squacks in mock outrage.

“You are children.”

“I take full offense to that, Hyung.”

“Good. Maybe this sting will make you think the next time you want to say something stupid.” Seokjin sticks his tongue out and begins tending to the flowers closest to the register. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Taehyung not moving. The boy was shifting back and forth on his feet, with a face that told Seokjin he either had a stomach ache or was uncomfortable.

“What about… that guy from earlier?”

“Yoongi? What about him?” Jin’s hands froze in the soil of a tulip.

“Is there something going on with him?”

“What?”  Seokjin’s voice raises an octave. He doesn’t like the light feeling that settles in his stomach.

“Well it’s just he said he held Jungkook. Which I haven’t seen anyone other than your inner circle hold that kid ever. I also can’t see Jungkook just being cool with it either. So that leads me to believe that something may be going on there.” Taehyung tries to keep his voice calm, but Seokjin has been around the college student to long. He could pick up the slightest waver easily.

“Nothing is going on between us. He bought flowers for Jimin on his birthday and this is the first day I’ve seen him since then.” Jin slowly went back to tending to the red tulips in front of himself.

“He held Jungkook!”

“He did.”

“I didn’t hear Jungkook screaming.”

“I didn’t either.”

“Hyung!”

“What do you want from me, Taehyung?”

Seokjin knew he shouldn’t have snapped so harshly at Taehyung, but it was all becoming to much. Taehyung looked like a kicked puppy when he flinched away from the sharp tone. With a sigh Jin wiped his hands off on his apron and approached the younger man. Taehyung flinched again when Seokjin brought him in for a hug, but quickly relaxed into it.

This was the most affection they had exchanged since Namjoon had passed. They were of course very close, but they were never very touchy feely. Both Jin and Taehyung were very cuddly people, but when it came to each other they never felt the desire. The didn’t need to show their affection physically. There was just no need.

“Hyung, I’m here and I brought beer!” Taehyung’s low voice called out from the entrance.

Jin winced from his spot on the sofa. He had just gotten Jungkook to go to sleep. The child still didn’t completely understand what was happening. He still assumed that Namjoon was going to walk through the front door any moment and run around the house with him. His child brain couldn’t comprehend something as permanent as death.

Jungkook wasn’t as upset about Namjoon just yet. The sweet boy just didn’t want to leave his grieving father’s side. It had taken Jin two whole hours to get Jungkook back to bed, because the boy was so distressed that his father had been crying. After cuddling for most of those two hours and whispering soothing words, Jungkook had fallen asleep and Jin slipped out.

Inviting Taehyung over came as an afterthought from seeing a picture from Jin and Namjoon’s wedding day. Taehyung had Namjoon in a tight headlock and was messing up his hair, Jin was off a ways laughing at the brothers. It hit Jin like a ton of bricks when he realized what he had to tell Taehyung. Rather than calling, Jin opted for texting as he could easily be vaguer when inviting Taehyung over out of the blue.

“The chicken arrived not to long ago.” Jin tried his best to muster up a smile, he really did. However, it hadn’t even been a day since he had gotten the news and he already used up all of his acting prowess for Jungkook.

“Jin-Hyung, what’s wrong?” Taehyung placed the beers on the coffee table, next to the untouched boxes of chicken.

“W-Why would you think somethings wrong?” Jin winced when his voice cracked on his first word.

“You haven’t started eating yet.”

Jin gasped in offense, “Yah! Do you think I’m so much of a glutton that I wouldn’t wait for my favorite brother-in-law!”

“I’m your only brother-in-law and I know you don’t want to hear the answer to your question, but I do want to hear the answer to mine.” Taehyung sat next to the older man.

When he noticed that Jin’s hands were shaking he quickly placed his own over them. Jin let out another small gasp when he felt the warmth of Taehyung’s palms. He harshly closed his eyes and looked towards the ceiling. Curious as to what had his Hyung so worked up, Taehyung just stared at Jin.

It was then that Taehyung truly noticed how unkempt Seokjin was in this very moment. His eyes were rimmed with red and were incredibly puffy. There was a small bit of red on his plump bottom lip from where he had bitten down. The blue sweater he wore was wrinkled as if someone, most likely himself, had been gripping it tightly. When Seokjin finally reopened his eyes they were glassy and tears were slowly making their way down his plump cheeks.

“Namjoon died last night.”

Taehyung was sure that he hadn’t heard Jin correctly, “What?”

“Namjoon died la-”

“That’s not funny, Hyung.” Taehyung tightened his grip on Seokjin’s hands and the older man just let out a little whine.

“I’m not joking, Tae. He was driving last night and he fell asleep at the wheel. He started to drift to the wrong side of the road and-”

“Shut up! You’re ing lying and it’s not funny, Seokjin. He better jump out of his hiding spot right ing now or I swear-”

Taehyung was cut off by Seokjin pulling him in for a hug. If holding hands like they had been was a big step for the both of them, then this was a giant leap. They were both very fond of each other, but they never were particularly physical.

Lightly, Taehyung pounded his fists on Seokjin's broad shoulders trying to get the older man to let him go. Taehyung felt as if he was suffocating. Suddenly everything was far to hot and he needed to break free. He needed to gasp for breath. So gasp he did. Taehyung started breathing raggedly against Seokjin’s chest, fresh tears beginning to soak through the blue fabric.

“It’s going to be okay. We are going to be okay.” Seokjin choked out, unable to stop his own tears.

Seokjin knew it was selfish, but he had hoped that Taehyung would have taken this better. He needed someone to take care of him. He had lost his husband, the love of his life. He was falling apart in front of Taehyung, but here he was taking care of the younger man.

It was then that Seokjin realized that he was going to have nobody to take care of him. Nobody to try and get him to stop bleeding out. He was slowly dying in front of his loved ones, but he only had himself to pick up the pieces.

In the first few weeks after the accident Taehyung had practically moved into Namjoon and Jin’s apartment. He was only there for those few weeks because Jin could no longer be there. With the help of his younger brother, Jin packed up everything he owned and moved out to the outskirts of the city. He moved into to top floor of his shop and the rest is history.

“If you like Yoongi, you should ask him out.” Taehyung grumbled from where he was snuggled against Jin’s chest. This painful image reminded Seokjin yet again of that moment three years ago. That moment where he had to watch Taehyung come to terms with the fact that he had lost his brother.

“I’ve met the man twice, both times he was here for business.”

“I saw the way he was staring at you, Hyung.”

Seokjin furrows his brows in confusion and hold Taehyung at length, searching the man’s face for answers. When he doesn’t get any he speaks up, “How was he staring at me?”

“He looked like… like you were some angel or something. If were were in a cartoon, hearts would have taken the place of his eyes.

“That’s not true.” Jin scoffed, finally releasing Taehyung from his hold. With a roll of his eyes, Jin goes back to the tulips. Yet again Taehyung is left to stand there, not knowing where to go next. He had so much more to say, but Jin did seemed to dismiss him.

“All I’m saying is-”

“Taehyung, please don’t-”

“No, Hyung. I gotta get this out and then you will be free from me. I’ve gotta study anyways.” The younger man gulps when he cuts off Jin. Its common knowledge that the flower shop owner hates to be interrupted.

Taehyung took a deep breath. He almost lost his train of thought when Jin his heel to look at him. His dirty hands are placed on his hips, tightly gripping his jeans. His eyes are narrowed as if waiting for Taehyung to say something that will enrage him.

“Okay… So… All I’m saying is that I would be okay if you started to date someone. It’s been three years since Namjoon passed, but it feels like you still think you are married. You are… Well you are an eligible bachelor and you should put yourself out there. If you are worried about Jungkook, I’m sure he’s cool with getting a new dad. He probably doesn’t even remember-”

“Taehyung!” Seokjin gasps at the unfinished thought from Taehyung.

Said man’s lip is quivering and his eyes look glassy again as he begins to speak again, “It’s true! He was really young then and he cared more that you were sad than his missing father.”

“Please. Stop.” Jin begs, more tears threatening to spill from him as well.

“Okay. I’m sorry I brought all of this up.” Taehyung hangs his head and Seokjin feels his rage begin to subside, “I’ll go study.”

Taehyung goes behind the register to grab his things. Unable to tear his gaze away from the sad man, Seokjin just stands there with a hand still gripping his heart. Right before Taehyung walks out the door Seokjin calls out, “Study hard. Make Namjoon proud.”

“You too.” Taehyung calls back, leaving Seokjin stunned again.

What would make Namjoon proud? Would it be moving on and falling in love with some else? Or would Namjoon want him to stay loyal to him and raise Jungkook all by himself? Seokjin was so torn that he decided to close the store early. With a huff he turns the closed sign and does a half assed job at cleaning up the back.

By the time Seokjin gets up stairs Jungkook is wide awake drawing at the kitchen table. The child is able to look away from his art for a few seconds to send his father a big smile. The boys eyes crinkle just a little and with his teeth showing he looks like a bunny. Seokjin almost coos at his son, but restrains himself because he knows that Jungkook hates when he does it. Hence why he ran away when he was trying to get pictures of the boy.

“What do you want for dinner, Kookie?” Seokjin asks, begging to wash his hands before he gets to cooking.

“Fried chicken!” Jungkook squeals back, his little legs kicking out from his chair.

“We don’t… You wanna know what? That sounds like the perfect dinner after the day we’ve had.” Seokjin smiles at his son who just tilts his head in confusion.

“What day we have had?”

“Just a day.”

“We always have days.”

“Some are just harder than others. You will learn that when you are older.” Seokjin laughs, even as the thoughts constrict his heart. He is far from ready for his son to grow up.

“I want everyday easy!” Jungkook giggles and turns back to his drawing.

“So do I, honey.” with a sigh Seokjin ruffles Jungkook’s hair. The boy lets out a whine so Seokjin stops and begins to search for a delivery pamphlet. After opening all of his drawers he finally finds one hidden under some oven mitts and makes the call.

With dinner settled Seokjin drapes himself over the coach and lays an arm over his eyes. His heart is still racing at the thought of everything changing. He doesn’t like the thought of Jungkook getting bigger. Having to face the struggles that life throws at him. What if the kid ends up being taller than him? How will he scold him then?

Then there is the factor of moving on from Namjoon. Could Seokjin let himself fall in love again? He doesn’t feel as if he could. He really doesn’t think that he could survive losing another lover. If Seokjin was left alone one more time there was no way that he could go on. His whole life he had been building up walls to keep himself safe. After Namjoon he reinforced them with steal.

Eventually, Seokjin drifted to sleep. He dreamed of nothing in particular, but his slumber was deep. So deep that the pounding on the door downstairs didn’t stir him. Nor did the squeal from Jungkook, or the pulling on his arm. It wasn’t until the alluring smell of chicken filled his nostrils that Jin began to slowly blink his eyes open.

Jungkook had both boxes in his arms, pressed close to his chest. He waddled his way to the coffee table with a large smile. His eyes twinkled when he noticed that Seokjin was awake, “Papa the chicken is here!”

“I see, baby. But what did I tell you about answering the door for strangers?” Seokjin tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

“Don’t.”

“Exactly.”

“But, Papa, you weren’t waking up! You also say naps are the most important. That’s why I gotta!” Jungkook pouted as he placed the boxes down.

“You have to take naps so you can grow up big and strong. I’m already full grown.” Jin smiled at the pout that didn’t leave Jungkook’s face. After ruffling Jungkook’s hair again, followed with a shout by Jungkook, Seokjin grabbed plates and utensils.

Rather than eating at the kitchen table, Seokjin decided that they could eat at the coffee table and watch a movie. Jungkook was more than okay with this. The boy thought that anytime he could get away from the table in the kitchen it was a special day. It probably had something to do with the two always celebrating their birthdays at the coffee table.

“Yum!” Jungkook squealed after his first bite. Seokjin watched fondly as his son ate and let out more sounds. Namjoon, and eventually Jimin, always said that Jungkook picked up Seokjin’s noisy habit of eating. When Jungkook noticed his father staring he smiled again, his cheeks full of food.

“Slow down before you choke.” Seokjin let out a trill of laughter.

“But ish sho good, Papa!”

“Just slow down.”

They watched some kids movie that always took Jin far to long to remember the name of. After they finished eating they found their way to the large sofa. Jungkook found himself a spot sprawled on his father’s chest. Seokjin lazily dragged his fingers through Jungkook’s hair and mused about how he was going to have to cut his hair soon.

“I want that.” Jungkook mumbled.

“Want what, sweetheart?”

“Another daddy.” Seokjin feels the air get punched out of his lungs. On the screen is a mother and father cooking together for their child. Seokjin takes a few deep breaths before he speaks up again. He can’t let himself fall apart in front of his child.

“Why not a mommy?”

“‘cause I used to have two daddies. I don’t want a mommy.”

“You… You remember Namjoon?”

“Mmmmm.” Jungkook looks away from the tv and puts his chin on Seokjin so he can look at his father's face, “I ‘member daddy. He used to pick me up so high and… and I would fly.”

So Taehyung was wrong. Jungkook still remembered Namjoon after all these years, and despite his age.

“So… So do you want your daddy back?”

“You said he went really far away and can’t come back. Can he come back now?”

“No, honey, he can’t.”

“I miss him.” Seokjin feels the first tear escape so he uses his hand to turn Jungkook’s gaze back to the movie.

“I miss him too.”

“Can I have a new daddy then?”

“Maybe someday. Until then I will love you as much as two dads.”

“I love you too, papa. I love you as much as three dads.”

“Always have to one up me.” Seokjin feels a few more tears squeeze out when he begins to laugh.

The two eventually fall asleep on the couch, the movie playing over and over again in the background. The final thought on Seokjin’s mind before he slips into the land of dreams is about finding someone. He had been given blessings by both Taehyung and Jungkook, but it still felt wrong.  

Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up! I've been in a bit of rut when it came to this story and decided to go back to It's My Fate and edit through it. Eventually I will get the edited version onto here, but it's all posted on my AO3 account if you wanna give that a gander. It's not all that different so you aren't missing out on much ;)

Hopefully I can get back to updating this story regularly again