Chanyeol releases a long breath and closes his eyes. His forehead pressed against the cool wooden surface of Baekhyun’s door; he’s been standing out there for twenty minutes, calling Baekhyun’s name and begging him to please open the up so they can talk. Chanyeol doesn’t want to force anything out of Baekhyun, he just wants to make sure he’s okay, but Baekhyun refuses to answer and silence remains impassive on the other side. Chanyeol doesn’t know what else to say, what to do or what to think; feeling useless for haven’t been able to stop this from happening… if only he had known. He never imagined the night of their engagement part was going to end up like this.

“Baekhyun… please. Just─ I just want to make sure you’re fine.” Chanyeol pleads once again, the palm of his hand pressed flatly against the surface.

“I can call Advisor Kim and ask for a key.” Kris, who has been making him company after making sure Catherine’s doors were safely guarded, mumbles, trying to not be heard by the younger prince, being aware he is not of Baekhyun’s entire liking.

Chanyeol shakes his head. “I want him to open willingly; I don’t care if I have to spend the whole night in here.”

“But I don’t think─”

“Not now, Kris.” Chanyeol sighs. “Please leave me alone.”

“Chanyeol─”

“Just leave.” The prince cuts him off, the tiredness in his voice is palpable. “Go to Junmyeon, make sure everything’s ready for Catherine’s leaving tomorrow, I don’t want Baekhyun to see her here.”

Kris hesitates a little, eyes going from Chanyeol to the closed door; he then sighs, nodding his head and walking away, not seeing the need to be formal around Chanyeol when there’s just the two of them.

“I know…” Chanyeol begins again once Kris is gone “that whatever it is, you’re scared but Baek… I’m asking you to trust me, to lean on me. Please, I─” He doesn’t get to finish the sentence when one side of the door is being opened. Chanyeol takes a small step back and stares at Baekhyun with wide eyes.

The younger’s prince eyes are red and swollen, brimmed with tears; his face bloating form so much crying. His body is slightly trembling and Chanyeol has to fight back the urge to reach out for him and embrace him.

Baekhyun sniffles and using the sleeve of the pajama shirt he had change into, wipes the tears out of his face. He steps aside, silently giving Chanyeol permission to enter.

Chanyeol slowly closes the door behind him and waits for a moment. Baekhyun is walking back to his bed, shoulders slumped down and dragging his feet across the floor.

“Can I?” Chanyeol mumbles, pointing at the bed. Baekhyun nods slowly, moving aside so Chanyeol can sit next to him. “How are you feeling?”

Chanyeol is not expecting Baekhyun to answer, so he’s surprised when a small and barely hearable scared comes out of Baekhyun’s mouth. “What if Catherine─”

“She won’t.” Chanyeol shakes his head and reaches for Baekhyun’s hand, taking it on his own. “Kris has orders of not letting her out of her bedroom under any circumstances and I talked to my father, he said I can do whatever I see fit.”

“You─ you told Kris?” Baekhyun asks, sounding alarmed.

“No! No!” Chanyeol quickly shakes his head. “I just told him to excuse us with our guests and that there has been a complication.”

“I feel really embarrassed.” Baekhyun mumbles, folding his legs against his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees. “This shouldn’t have happened. I should have been more careful and─”

“Don’t say that.” Chanyeol cuts him off and shifts closer to Baekhyun. “This wasn’t your fault.”

Baekhyun lets out a long sigh and sniffles. “I suppose you want to know what’s in here, right?” He says, taking his journal and flipping some pages.

“No. No if you don’t want to tell me.”

“Here.” Baekhyun offers him the open book. “It starts from here.”

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol hesitates, looking down at the open book and then back at the prince.

“Please read it, I don’t think I can find the exact words to tell you myself and I want you to know why I did what I did.”

Chanyeol nods, carefully taking from Baekhyun’s hands the journal; silently, he begins to read, carefully and with his heart beating wildly inside his chest.

Baekhyun remains quiet, watching with unwavering attention as Chanyeol goes through the pages. He keeps his head leaned against his knees, waiting patiently for him to finish.

Chanyeol clutches his hands tightly around the book and frowns, unable to believe what he’s reading. He can feel all the pain and the sorrow; all the longing and desperation dripping from each and every one of Baekhyun’s words. Chanyeol wonders how hard it must have been for Baekhyun to carry with all this on his own and he hates himself for have not being there when his little prince needed him the most.

Chanyeol slowly closes the journal and releases a shaky breath; closing his eyes as he tries to process all the information recently acquired, swallows the lump on his throat and gathers all the courage to look at Baekhyun again.

“Now you know.” Baekhyun speaks, pushing the book aside. “I’m a bastard, Chanyeol. That’s why whom I thought was my mother, never really loved me. I’m the son of one of my father’s mistresses. I’m an embarrassment. A shame. I─”

“Stop. Baekhyun, stop.” Chanyeol is fast to cut him off, grabbing his hands and enveloping them tightly with his own. “You are nothing of that. You are your father’s son, his only heir. He gave you his last name and recognized you as his flesh and blood. You are prince Baekhyun, my prince Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun stubbornly shakes his head. “The queen couldn’t have children and my father decided to cheat on her. I’m the product of a sin.”

“Baekhyun, you have to understand that what your father did was not because he didn’t love your─ the queen. He needed an heir, like every king does.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Baekhyun scoffs.

“You know what I’m trying to say. You know how this world works.”

“For years and years I longed my mother to look at me the way yours did with you and your siblings. I wanted to feel her arms around me. I wanted to hear her sing me a song before going to sleep. I wanted her to smile at me and see the love in her eyes.” Baekhyun whispers, tears threatening to fall again. “I never understood why my family was different; why it always felt so cold and… unattached. I was alone and I never really realized…”

“You’ve never been alone, you’ve always had us.”

“It was not the same.” Baekhyun looks down to where his hands are tangled with Chanyeol’s. “The day the queen die… you didn’t see the way she looked at me and told me who I really was. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t face you knowing that I couldn’t marry you. I wasn’t worth of someone like you, a real prince. I had to leave and make you believe I didn‘t want to be with you when in reality I…” Baekhyun’s voice trails off.

“You?” Chanyeol urges him, hopeful, gripping tightly at his hands.

“I loved you. I have always loved you. I still do.” Baekhyun mutters, his voice barely a whisper. “And I’m so sorry for being so selfish. I should have never come back. I should have let you find someone who can give you all that you need, as a man and as a future king.”

“What are you saying?” Chanyeol says with a shaky voice. Only then, Baekhyun realizes he’s crying. “You have no idea of how much it hurt the day I found out you left; how much it kept hurting even years after that. How much it still hurt when you came back and told me you didn't love me. I was willing to accept that and convince myself that we were doing this just because is a duty we have to fulfill. But then you would… you would send me all those mix signals… I thought I was finally going crazy.” Chanyeol laughs in between sobs. “But you need to know one thing, Byun Baekhyun: you are not alone. You have a family here, with Jongin and Sooyoung. With me. I am going to give you everything you’ve ever wanted and everything of what I am because I love you, Baek. I love you like you have no idea and I don’t care about the past; I want to erase those tears, I want you to lean on me, trust me and let me help you carry all that sorrow.”

“Is not your responsibility to do so.” Baekhyun answers, trying to pry his hands away, but Chanyeol doesn’t let him.

“I’m going to be your husband, of course it is.”

“What is your people going to say when they know their prince married a bastard?” Baekhyun asks, bitterness printed in his voice.

“You are not a bastard and it’s of no one’s business.”

“Catherine─”

“Catherine won’t speak. I’m going to make sure of that.” Chanyeol reassures him.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun says as he nods his head. “And thank you for understanding. I thought─” he makes a pause, trapping his lower lip in between his teeth before letting out a long breath “When Catherine asked us to call off the engagement I thought it would be the best for everyone, so when you dared her to speak, I just couldn’t stop thinking this is it… but then you─”

“I would do anything for you, Baek. You know that.”

“Even taking to country to war?”

“Even that.” Chanyeol confirms him, no hesitation in his voice.

Baekhyun chuckles bitterly. “You are insane.”

Chanyeol shrugs. “To protect you, I would go to any extent. I don’t care what it is.” He says, moving his hand up to place it over Baekhyun’s cheek. The prince sighs and closes his eyes, tilting his head to the side a little, leaning into the touch.

“You really are crazy.” Baekhyun mumbles, a small smile spreading on his lips.

Chanyeol grins, happy to finally see the sadness disappear from his prince’s face.

“Maybe I am. But who isn’t when it comes to the ones you love?” Baekhyun hums, enjoying the warmth Chanyeol’s hand gives him. “Why don’t you get some sleep? It’s late and we have to at least apologize for disappearing like that.”

Baekhyun nods. He whimpers when Chanyeol moves his hand away and opens his eyes, his skin itching to feel his touch again. “Would you… stay until I fall asleep?”

Chanyeol nods as he watches Baekhyun getting under the covers, pulling them up to his neck. He leans in, brushing off the few strands of hair falling over the prince’s forehead and presses his lips there, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away. Baekhyun finds himself adoring the small gesture.

“Good night, love.” Chanyeol mutters as Baekhyun closes his eyes and mumbles a small good night of his own.

Chanyeol stays there, sitting by Baekhyun’s side and carding his fingers through his hair until the prince’s breathing becomes even and he snuggles further into his blankets. Chanyeol can’t help but smile at how Baekhyun scrunches and wiggles his nose as he sleeps, whimpering and whining. Cute, is the only description Chanyeol’s has for Baekhyun’s sleeping habits.

A moment later, when he’s sure Baekhyun is deep in his slumber, he carefully stands up and silently leaves the room.

“Everything okay?” The voice startles Chanyeol a little as he closes the door. He turns to see Kris leaning against the opposite door.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol breathes out. “Catherine?”

“She’s still in his room. Your father talked to her earlier. Apparently he already knew about whatever happened with prince Baekhyun.”

“What?” Chanyeol asks, alarmed.

Kris nods. “Baekhyun’s father told him himself.”

“Why am I not surprised.” Chanyeol sighs.

“He also told Catherine that once she leaves, she won’t be welcome here anymore.”

“He… he did that?” Chanyeol asks, this time, completely surprised.

Kris hums.

“That’s good, then. He saved me the trouble to do it myself.”

“You should rest, Yeol.”

Chanyeol stiffens a little at the nickname, but he lets it pass and shrugs the strange feeling it gives him. “Yeah, I will.”

“Should I stay around?”

“No, it’s fine. Go to Catherine’s room.”

Kris nods. He waits until Chanyeol is inside his room and the door is locked before leaving.

…

Baekhyun blinks his eyes open; the room is dark and the only thing he can hear is Toffee’s slight snoring, but other than that, he is alone. He remembers falling asleep to Chanyeol playing with his hair, so as soon as he realizes the older prince is not in the room anymore, an uncomfortable feeling of emptiness settles in his stomach. He read