Siyeon breathed deeply with her eyes closed, the flesh of her skin and face felt as though it was freezing over from the unrelenting force of the fan. She found it hard to open her eyes again and when she did, her vision was completely blurred due to the fact that her nose was almost touching the center of the fan. The sound it emitted would probably be enough to lull her to sleep if not for...

 

“One more time from start to finish before lunch.” The choreographer said. 

 

Siyeon sighed and left her refuge in front of the fan to line up again.  

 

While it might not appear to be particularly difficult on the outside, Piri was exhausting. Rather than being overly technical, it was a full body workout including arms and body rolls. Oh the body rolls. Siyeon felt scammed that she didn’t have a twelve pack by now with all the body rolls she’d done in the last week. 

 

Siyeon then felt something land on her back. Upon looking up in the mirror, Siyeon could see now it was Jiu behind her, her head sideways against Siyeon’s shoulder blade. 

 

“I’m so hungryyy.” Jiu whined. “So, so soo so hungry.” 

 

The diet wasn’t helping with energy levels either. 

 

“Me too.” Siyeon said. 

 

“I’m going to order everything on the menu today. Twice.” Jiu continued.

 

“Dream on if you think they’re gonna let you do that this close to a comeback.”  

 

“I’ll bribe them.” 

 

“Not everyone wants your body in that way.” Siyeon said, and was ready to absorb the punch that halfheartedly struck her back. 

 

That little serotonin boost was just enough to Siyeon through the last runthrough of the song. The choreographer was satisfied, which meant this would probably be the last full day of constant dance practice. The mood among everyone was starting to shift significantly. 

 

Siyeon went to find her towel wondering how the broadcasting companies were going to hide all of the sweat she was producing from just one performance while she could overhear the others discussing the details of where they were going for lunch. 

 

“You should start bringing a change of clothes to practice.”

 

Sua sat down in front of where Siyeon was drying herself to grab her own bottle of water. 

 

“I feel like I sweat even more than usual these days.” Siyeon said.  

 

“I’ve noticed.” Sua said.  

 

She drank long from her water bottle before hooking a finger around Siyeon’s belt loop to pull her closer. Siyeon stumbled forward unwillingly. Sua asserting her dominance over Siyeon’s body was something that was just par for the course now.. 

 

But over time, the more it happened the less Siyeon wanted it to happen.  

 

Siyeon stepped back as soon as Sua let go of her. 

 

“Will you bring me something back?” Sua asked. 

 

“Back from where?” 

 

“Wherever you end up going for lunch.”

 

“You’re not coming?” Siyeon asked.

 

“No, I'm working through lunch with Dongie.” Sua said.  

 

“Alright, what do you want?” Siyeon asked. 

 

“Surprise me.” Sua said before flinging her arms around Siyeon’s neck.  

 

Siyeon did not hug Sua back.  

 

“So, grilled cheese with a side of cheese and extra cheese?” Siyeon asked.

 

“Try it.” Sua threatened, holding a fist in the air. .

 

Siyeon, smart to this technique now, was already far away from the danger zone. She turned without another word to join the others following behind them to two cars in the parking garage.She got into one of them without a second thought and ended up with Jiu and two other managers.  

 

She didn’t know where they were going and she didn’t care much to ask. Immediately upon sitting into the car she let her neck fall backwards against the cushioned headrest as her eyes closed.  

 

A nap wouldn’t be a bad idea to be honest…

 

Siyeon pondered if she was more hungry than she was tired and must have dropped out at some point because the next thing she knew people were getting out of the car. 

 

Siyeon recognized where they were now.

 

The scent outside of the restaurant made flood with saliva.

 

Definitely more hungry than tired. 

 

After following them inside, Siyeon fell into the first chair available to her at the end of the table. She vaguely heard Jiu and the manager deciding on two fires for the table.  

 

Beef. 

 

The smell was intoxicating.

 

“Are you awake?” 

 

It took Siyeon a moment to return to herself. With much effort she blinked and met Jiu’s eyes only to realize that she’d been staring through her for the last several minutes. 

 

Siyeon had to return Jiu’s grin when she realized how out of it she must look.  

 

Jiu turned to the manager. “And Siyeon will have a Coke.” 

 

Siyeon grinned wider at the prospect of caffeine. The leader took such good care of her.

 

Now that she had regained some sense of consciousness, Siyeon took in her surroundings, finding another manager seated next to her, and Gahyeon and Yoohyeon on the other side of said manager.  

 

Watching the others talk so animatedly made her feel a bit weak honestly, but Siyeon was pleased they didn’t try and engage her when she was so exhausted.  

 

It took all of her effort not to zone out and stare into nothingness again. 

 

Siyeon decided people watching was the way to go.  

 

The attractive couple sitting near the window didn’t look happy to be in eachothers company.  

 

Siyeon could feel the second hand uncomfortableness, and it felt familiar to her. Like when Sua hung on her in front of the others, and these days, even when she did it when they were alone.  

 

Could the others tell how unwanted the attention was?  

 

And if they could, why didn’t Sua?  

 

Siyeon supposed that would be too easy. When it came down to it she’d just have to use her words. Something she was no good at. 

 

Drinks began arriving and Siyeon cracked the can open as the waitress started lighting the fires. 

 

“Can you pass me a bowl, unnie?” 

 

Siyeon stared dumbfounded to her right where Dami was sitting for a moment before passing her a bowl. 

 

“Wow, I didn’t even know you were there.” She said. 

 

“That’s normal.” Dami said with a small smile.  

 

Siyeon sensed some sadness in this statement but couldn’t deny that it was true.

 

“You were being really quiet.” Siyeon frowned at her.  

 

“So were you.”  Dami said.  

 

“I.. yeah.” Siyeon said. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s not a big deal,” Dami said.  

 

The platter of raw beef was handed down the table to their side. Siyeon took the tongs and began arranging the pieces on the grill.  

 

“I’ll do better.” Siyeon said before glancing sideways and Dami.  

 

“At what?” Dami asked.

 

“Noticing you.” Siyeon said.  

 

Dami’s face went blank. 

 

Siyeon smirked, wondering if she had made Dami’s heart shift to an uneven rhythm. 

 

Dami who enjoyed subtlety over extravagance seemed to prefer more lowkey gestures to obvious flirting, something that Siyeon thought she might have in common with the girl afterall.  

 

Trying to look extra cool, Siyeon flicked her wrist in order to turn the meat on the fire. 

 

Unfortunately the tongs caught the edge of the grill and shifted it. Embers nearly flew into her face before floating high above the table and disappearing out of sight.  

 

In a moment of panic, Siyeon caught the eye of the waitress who was glaring at her disapprovingly. She glanced around, shocked that nobody at the table noticed it before turning to Dami.  

 

The surprise on Dami’s face was only punctuated further with the way was shaped into a tiny ‘o’. 

 

As their eyes met they both burst out laughing. 

 

All of the conversations at the table came to a halt as everyone looked towards Siyeon and Dami.

 

“Give me those.” Dami said, taking the tongs away, as if she was trying to protect a small child. 

 

Siyeon tried to cull her laughter as Dami carefully rearranged the grill on top of the fire. 

 

“Heh.” Dami grinned, shaking her head. “Can’t take you anywhere. You’re just as clumsy as Yoohyeon.” 

 

“Nah, you take that back.” Siyeon said. “Yoohyeon would have found a way to fling the grill across the restaurant.”

 

Siyeon was surprised to find that she had the attention of most of the table when she turned to look at them. Jiu in particular looked comfortable as she watched Siyeon, a hand under her chin holding up the weight of her head.  

 

Jiu and Yoohyeon both had the same slow smile when Siyeon met their eyes. 

 

Siyeon inexplicably felt her cheeks go pink.  

 

“Tch. Look at them talk about me, as if I don’t have dirt on both of them.” Yoohyeon said, turning to Jiu. 

 

Siyeon frowned as the meaning behind Yoohyeons words came to her. 

 

She glanced sideways at Dami to find the girl rigid, staring silently ahead as she plated the first wave of beef. 

 

“That’s not cool.” Siyeon said, unable to stop herself. 

 

Yoohyeon looked confused.

 

“You’re supposed to keep your best friend's secrets, not hold them above her head.” Siyeon continued. 

 

“I wasn’t actually going to say anything.” Yoohyeon laughed. 

 

But Siyeon found herself irrationally angry about the exchange. Was Yoohyeon blind? Could she not see how much it meant to Dami. Even bringing up that there was dirt could bring about questions that Dami obviously wasn’t ready to address. Siyeon didn’t like seeing Dami so uncomfortable.

 

She bit her tongue hard and couldn’t shake the idea that it was a mean spirited exchange. Was she wrong?  

 

Her anger ended abruptly when Dami pushed a plate of meat in front of her.  

 

“Thank you.” Siyeon said, making sure to make eye contact with Dami and squeezing her shoulder. 

 

Dami gave a small smile, seemingly back to being cheerful again.

 

Siyeon began eating and ignored all of the inquisitive gazes Yoohyeon tried to shoot at her.

 

She would have to have words with her later.

 

Siyeon ate as though she’d never eaten before, gorging herself on everything Dami put in front of her. 

 

It was only too soon that one of the managers stood to leave, followed by Yoohyeon. 

 

It felt like they’d just gotten there. 

 

Siyeon stood too, almost simultaneously with Dami. 

 

Dami looked confused now.

 

“We’re going to the stylist.” Yoohyeon said, motioning at Siyeon to sit back down. 

 

“We’re not leaving yet.” Jiu said to Siyeon, before turning to the others. “See you guys back at the practice room.” 

 

“Oh.” Siyeon said, sitting back down and watching the girls leave the restaurant. It suddenly made sense why so many extra staff came to eat with them. 

 

Jiu chuckled. “Looks like you still need more caffeine.” She said. 

 

“I guess so.” Siyeon said. “Why are they going to the stylists again?” 

 

“Yoohyeon needs to refresh her color. I think Dami’s just going with her.” Jiu said.

 

Siyeon nodded.

 

“You looked pretty pissed off.” Jiu said.

 

“I was.” 

 

“Well, Dami looked pretty happy that you stood up for her.” Jiu said.

 

“Good. If you know what Yoohyeon was holding over her head..”

 

“I have an idea.” Jiu interrupted. “Actually I’m surprised that you seem to know. You’re usually last to figure it out.”

 

Siyeon kept quiet because she probably was the last to figure it out.

 

“So.. what do you think?” Jiu asked.

 

Siyeon knew that Jiu was asking about Dami specifically. She prepared her face in order to play stupid but Jiu looked like she was already expecting it. Her defenses crumbled and all Siyeon could do was smile. 

 

“Thought so.” Jiu hummed.

 

It was strange, Siyeon thought, that Jiu wasn‘t pushing the topic further. Normally she’d be asking Siyeon about her feelings and such by now. A part of Siyeon worried that Jiu might have ascended to mind reading, but Jiu quietly took over the role of grillmaster for both Gahyeon and Siyeon even though Siyeon wasn’t feeling very hungry anymore she continued to eat knowing this would likely be her last meal until very late tonight. .

 

When she couldn’t eat anymore she wrapped up the rest for Sua and Handong. 

 

Unfortunately, there wasn’t any cheese handy. 

 

Gahyeon complained loudly the entire ride back to the company about how she’d eaten too much and she could barely move. 

 

Siyeon felt much the same. She wouldn’t be in any shape to start dancing again for a while. 

 

She was grateful that Jiu volunteered to bring the food to the others, for that was another interaction with Sua she could avoid.

 

Siyeon fell onto the couch in the practice room, grateful that the choreographer wasn’t back from lunch yet. 

 

Despite having 3 cokes at lunch she managed to fall asleep for a small while until she felt someone sit on her. 

 

Gahyeon..

 

“You can’t expect to take up the whole couch yourself.” She said at Siyeon's scandalized face. 

 

“How long was I out?” Siyeon asked.

 

“About 20 minutes.” Gahyeon said.

 

Siyeon squirmed underneath the maknae in order to free one of her hip bones that was being pushed in a direction that it definitely shouldn’t.

 

“How much time do we have?” Siyeon asked.

 

“Maybe ten minutes if we’re lucky.” Gahyeon said. 

 

Siyeon sighed and started rubbing at her eyes. 

 

Ten minutes wasn’t long enough to fall back asleep, and just then Sua’s loud voice preceded her entering the room. It was definitely impossible now, but at least she had the excuse of being underneath Gahyeon to keep her from having to jump into any conversations. Siyeon pulled out and began scrolling on her phone as an additional distraction.

 

The door opened shortly after and the lead choreographer strided in briskly. 

 

“Fifteen minutes.” She said. “Let’s start stretching.” 

 

Siyeon groaned as Gahyeon got up.  

 

Siyeon followed suit, sliding the band off of her wrist to pull her hair up into a high ponytail.  

 

Around the room the girls who were here were now stretching. 

 

Splits, back bends, palms touching the ground.  

 

The only words spoken were between Sua and Jiu about a recent drama episode. 

 

Siyeon kept her distance and started stretching against the wall, her aching shoulders protesting the loudest. 

 

After only a few Piri run throughs, Dami and Yoohyeon reappeared. 

 

Yoohyeon’s hair was once again brighter red than a fire engine, Dami with her hood up.  Confusing a bit, because it wasn’t very cold out, but then again Dami was always cold. 

 

It was enough to distract the choreographer into giving them another small break.  

 

It made Siyeon grateful that the practice gauntlet was almost over for this comeback cycle. She found her water at the corner of the room and drank deeply from it.   

 

Unfortunately, Sua’s water was in the same place. 

 

“So what’s going to be your excuse for not coming to see me tonight?” Sua asked. 

 

“Gonna be too tired.” Siyeon said, not looking at her. 

 

“You can’t run forever.” Sua said, not discouraged in the slightest. “And we’ll laugh about it one day. It must be nerves, right? Once we get it over with you’re gonna realize it’s not that big of a deal…” 

 

“You’re that convinced you’re going to be my first time?” Siyeon asked, getting annoyed.

 

Sua shrugged. “Most people find confidence se xy.” 

 

“But you know what I want so.. Surely you can see why it’s not going to happen.”  

 

Sua was unphased. “I dunno. I still see it happening.” 

 

“You’re wrong.” Siyeon said, glaring out at the practice room. 

 

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Sua stood in front of her. “If you were-”

 

Siyeon was no longer listening though.

 

Over Sua’s head, Dami had just taken off her hoodie. 

 

She stood in front of the mirror running a hand through her hair but something wasn’t adding up in Siyeon’s brain. Something was missing. 

 

At least 6 inches of hair. 

 

Siyeons mouth fell open. 

 

Sua turned around to follow Siyeon’s eyes before calling out loudly. 

 

“Oh my god, what did you DO?!” 

 

It was like an alarm had gone off and all eyes were on Dami. Siyeon stayed where she was and watched the others admire the girls’ cute haircut. Siyeon watched Dami physically shrink as the others began to play with her hair.  

 

Having this much attention was Dami’s worst nightmare, but Siyeon thought this was Dami’s way of ripping the bandaid off.  

 

She felt jealous of the others playing with her hair and had the unshakeable desire to do the same thing.. 

 

Dami looked so good. Siyeon simply didn’t have any words.

 

 “Alright let’s line up.” the choreography called. “If you guys get this right, maybe we can end early.” 

 

Spurred on by this, Siyeon made her way to the center of the room to line up. She watched in the mirror behind her as everyone else seemed to take their sweet time, but really her eyes never left Dami’s face. She smiled as she noticed that the pinkness had mostly faded away from the younger girl’s cheeks.  

 

The worst was over for Dami, or so she thought.  

 

Siyeon let her eyes drop as the other started to line up though she remained keenly aware of her surroundings.

 

As Dami passed her, Siyeon reached out her arm, two of her fingers trailed through Dami’s silky hair.  

 

The younger girl turned to her out of surprise, her hair landing on her face obscuring one of her eyes.  

 

Siyeon, not having expected such a view, was rendered speechless. Instead, she just smiled.

 

Dami tripped over her own feet and only managed to stay upright because she ran into Yoohyeon.  

 

Siyeon blinked in disbelief. Although the exchange had only taken a few seconds it felt like slow motion. She felt a lightness in her chest. On one hand, it almost felt like cheating to flirt with someone who you already know has feelings for you. On the other, Siyeon couldn’t stop smiling at the strange feeling in her stomach that came from something so simple as eye contact.  

 

Even though Siyeon could no longer see Dami anymore due to the others being lined up in front of her, the little jolts of electricity were back in full force and now Siyeon was able to make sense of them. 

 

Perhaps the physical toll of attraction was different for every encounter. 

 

Siyeon took a deep breath, because now was not the time but even as she prepared for the first music cue, she wondered what Dami’s hair would look like flying around during the choreography. 

 

---

 

Finally, this week is over. 

 

Siyeon leaned her forehead against the back of Jiu’s chair and closed her eyes, reveling in the silence. It truly is testament to how busy they’d been this week that even Sua was mute.  

 

Siyeon blinked as the lights outside the window flashed by her, not focusing on one thing in particular but just watching the carousel of colors amplified by the fog that was starting to form on the windows.  

 

They must have passed at least fifty restaurants on the way home that Siyeon would have been more than happy to eat at. But as always ‘there was stuff to eat at home’ was the manager’s go to excuse.  

 

She was starving… but happy. Promotions were going better than expected.  

 

They were starting to get recognized in public. 

 

A lot more opportunities were coming their way. It was like all this hard work was finally showing some promise. It almost gave her a buzz, like leftover adrenaline, and despite being tired she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.

 

Siyeon sighed happily but her stomach contradicted her with a loud sound of dissent.

 

Siyeon could feel Sua’s eyes on the back of her head but she didn’t move.  

 

Silence is far too valuable in this group.  

 

Being in no rush to compete with the others over the showers, Siyeon was the last one to saunter in when they reached the dorm. She took her time enjoying the first warm wind they’d had since winter had begun.

 

She could hear several girls in the kitchen talking about what they were going to have delivered for dinner and she knew she didn’t have to give it another thought. Whenever Dreamcatcher ordered food, they ordered a feast. Siyeon would be taken care of. 

 

She tried entering her bedroom as Jiu was leaving it. 

 

“Oh, do you want the shower first?” Jiu asked Siyeon. 

 

“No Unnie, you go ahead. I’ll take one later tonight.” Siyeon said. 

 

“You’d give up the front of the line?” Jiu asked, surprised.

 

Grinning, Siyeon nodded. “Tonight I would.” 

 

“Crazy..” Jiu muttered, as she headed towards the bathroom.

 

As Siyeon entered the room, Dami looked up at her.  

 

The younger girl was seated cross legged on her bed. She was wearing glasses and had the very front bits of her hair pulled into a small ponytail on top of her head.  

 

The ensemble made Siyeon's feet forget how to walk mid stride. 

 

“Hey.” Dami said.  

 

“Hey.” Siyeon stumbled before sitting on her own bed. “What are you up to?”

 

“Consolidating a bit.” Dami said. 

 

Siyeon leaned against the post of her bunk and watched Dami organize with several scattered notebooks on her bed, putting them into some order before placing them in a larger binder. 

 

“Did you fill out all of those notebooks?” Siyeon asked. 

 

“Um..” Dami hummed before clicking the binder shut and smiling sheepishly.  “I have a habit of getting anxious when I start running out of paper and end up buying new ones. So… Almost, I guess?” 

 

Dami slid the binder into her bedside drawer before turning to meet Siyeon’s eyes. 

 

She began blinking rapidly. 

 

“What are you up to?” She asked.

 

“Counting down the minutes until I can eat.” Siyeon said, with a small smile.  

 

She did her very best not to break eye contact with Dami, but found it extremely difficult. 

 

“Oh, are you tired?” Dami asked.

 

“Not really,” Siyeon said. “I mean, my body is but my brain is wide awake.”

 

“Ah.” Dami nodded.

 

Dami looked away and bit her lip for a long moment, Siyeon enjoying the show. 

 

“Well, don’t think I forgot that you owe me dinner.” Dami finally said without looking at her. 

 

Oh, that was bold for Dami. 

 

Siyeon grinned.

 

“You feel like going out? Now?” 

 

“Yeah.” Dami said, biting her lip again. “I mean, it’d be nice to get out. It’s gonna be.. loud here.”

 

“You’re right.” Siyeon said, standing up. “Let’s go.” 

 

“Really?” Dami asked, wide eyes.

 

“Yeah, why not?” Siyeon smiled.

 

“O-Ok. Let me just touch up.. Just a few minutes.” Dami said, before leaving the room.

 

Siyeon smiled after the girl as she turned towards Yoohyeon’s room instead of the bathroom.  

 

Touch up. Dami wanted to look nice for her.  

 

Siyeon went to the desk and grabbed her brush in order to do the same. Being that close to the mirror made her realize she should touch up her makeup a bit too. 

 

Jiu came in as she was doing this wearing only a towel.  

 

“What are you doing?” 

 

Siyeon pursed her lips in order to secure her lipstick before securing the lid. 

 

“I’m going out to dinner.” 

 

“But we’re ordering in.” Jiu said. 

 

“I’m going out.”  Siyeon turned to her. “I owe Dami dinner.” 

 

“You’re going out with Dami?” Jiu gasped. 

 

 “I owe her dinner.” 

 

“Wait!” Jiu said, throwing her towel aside and getting dressed quickly.  

 

Siyeon sighed and diverted her eyes to wait for the worst.  

 

“Let me look at you.” Jiu said. 

 

“It’s not a date.” Siyeon said. 

 

“Maybe it’s not starting out like that, but she’s gonna feel like it is...” Jiu leaned in to brush away a stray eyelash. 

 

Siyeon felt suddenly nervous. Would Dami think this was a date? No, she knew better.. But could it turn into one?  

 

Did it matter?  If she were asked straight up, would she go on a date with Dami? 

 

Siyeon blinked, she couldn’t see herself saying no… 

 

Jiu snapped her fingers in front of Siyeon’s face. “Did you hear me?” 

 

“No.” Siyeon said.

 

Jiu squinted at her. “You better not blank out on her like that.  I said to take a coat.” 

 

“I’m not cold.” Siyeon said. 

 

“It’s not for you.” Jiu sighed, pulling the coat onto Siyeon. 

 

She moved to stand in front of Siyeon giving her one more once over, pulling the coat taut and fixing her hair. 

 

“Why do you look like a deer in headlights?” Jiu asked.

 

“Because… this isn’t what I thought it was going to be, I guess.” Siyeon said.

 

“Don't think about it like that.” Jiu said. 

 

“But how do you expect me to do that when you just told me-”

 

“Just go and see what happens and let it play out, that’s all that’s happening. All you’re doing is being prepared for more, maybe. Oh!”

 

Jiu turned to her backpack and ped the front pouch, pulling out a small pack of mints and sliding it into Siyeon’s pocket. 

 

“Mints…?” Siyeon asked in a high voice.

 

“Just be normal, have fun and see where it goes.”

 

Siyeon nodded stiffly. 

 

Jiu rolled her eyes and turned Siyeon around by her shoulders, leading her into the hall. “Wait for her out here. You’ll be fine.” 

 

Siyeon nodded again.

 

The dorms were loud. 

 

Noise from the kitchen and the living room kept Siyeon frozen in place. If people saw her dressed up and ready to go out it would only bring up unwanted questions, so she stood in the hall.

 

Feeling awkward and having nothing to do, she reached into her pocket and took out a mint. The action made her even more self conscious, and she leaned her head down to see if she could smell herself.  

 

Why hadn’t she thought of deodorant.. ?

 

“Come here.” 

 

An arm looped around her shoulder and appeared to be moving her toward the front door before she could even register who it was.

 

“Listen, I see you popping mints and stuff. I don’t know what you think is happening but Dami isn’t like the other girls you’ve messed around with.”  Yoohyeon said in an undertone.

 

“Uhh, first of all, I haven't ‘messed around’ with any girls.” Siyeon growled. “Second, this isn’t even a date.” 

 

“I know that, but it means something to her.” Yoohyeon glared. “She’s not just going to get drunk and make out with you, okay?” 

 

Siyeon blinked and shook her head at the stupidity of the remark.

 

“You realize you just insulted yourself, right?” Siyeon asked. Yoohyeon scowled. “And you, of all people, you like to make fun of her and pretend like you’re gonna spill her secrets in front of me- Actually, you already did!”

 

“I didn’t spill anything! It’s not my fault you overheard her!” Yoohyeon was starting to look angry.

 

“Yeah well you could have stopped it.” Siyeon said. 

 

“Yeah, I could have, Whatever.” Yoohyeon rolled her eyes. “You better not hurt her Siyeon, I swear to god…” 

 

“I don't want to hurt her, are you crazy!?” Siyeon balked, “This is a complete joke, if you think I’m some sort of lady killer or something when I haven’t even been on a date before in my l-”

 

“Siyeon, she really likes you.” Yoohyeon said, softly. “But she’s not like the normal girl you’d take on a date and kiss at the end of the night okay? It’s like... “

 

Yoohyeon scrunched her face in thought. “I don’t know how to describe it. She’s… Okay, for instance, when you guys went to the PC bang you held her hand right? She talked about it for weeks..”

 

Siyeon's face relaxed into a smile..

 

“Right? So, regardless of how you feel about her just be gentle.” Yoohyeon said. “But, I’d give her a chance..” 

 

Siyeon felt white hot blood flooding her face but had no time to deal with it. Over Yoohyeon’s shoulder she saw Dami come walking out of her room and into the hall. Yoohyeon followed her eyes and quickly disappeared with one last threatening look.

 

“I’m ready.” Dami said, eyes following Yoohyeon’s back. “I.. hope she didn’t say anything stupid.” 

 

Siyeon laughed once and opened the door, holding it open for Dami. “When does she not?” 

 

“Where are you going?” 

 

Siyeon turned around to see Sua peeking out of the kitchen, her eyes getting narrower by the second. 

 

“They’re going to dinner.” Jiu said, her head appearing for a moment as well before pulling Sua back behind the wall. “I can’t decide what to get-”

 

Siyeon sighed in relief and turned back to Dami with a reassuring smile. She motioned for the girl to go ahead of her and closed the door behind them.  

 

Dami waited at the bottom of the stairs for Siyeon. When Siyeon reached the ground floor, she looked up and down the road before deciding to walk in the direction where she knows there are a few restaurants.  

 

Stupid that she’d forgotten about this agreement until now. Hadn’t she promised that she’d take Dami somewhere really nice? She never even properly researched..

 

“So, where are you taking me?” Dami asked. 

 

“What do you feel like eating?” Siyeon asked. 

 

“I could eat a lot of anything right now.” Dami said.  

 

“Me too..” Siyeon said.  “I figure, if we walk this way long enough we’ll come across somewhere to eat.” 

 

“Really?” Dami asked, “You have no idea where we’re going?”

 

“It’ll be an adventure.” Siyeon smiled sideways at Dami. 

 

“Right.” Dami said, as they came to a stop at the first intersection.  

 

“You have no faith in me, do you?”  Siyeon asked.

 

Dami chuckled. “Of course I do.” 

 

The wind was throwing Dami’s hair in every direction. Dami gave only a feeble attempt to stop it before squinting to keep her hair from going into her eyes. 

 

“Is your hair driving you crazy yet?”  Siyeon asked.

 

“It’s only a little irritating cause i just brushed it. It kinda feels good actually.” Dami said. 

 

Siyeon carefully tried to brush the strands from Dami’s eyes. They were blown back almost immediately.

 

Siyeon laughed. “Maybe you should have left the ponytail in.” 

 

“Nah,” Dami said, “It’s for private use. It makes me look too childish.” 

 

“Trying to impress someone?” Siyeon smirked, nudging Dami.

 

“Maybe.. Maybe I am.” Dami said.

 

It looked like Dami stood up straighter. Siyeon smiled to herself.

 

The crossing signal changed and Siyeon stepped off the curb, turned around and walked backwards to talk to Dami.

 

“Well then, the night is young and our adventure has just begun.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami smirked. “I thought you were tired.” 

 

“Second wind.” Siyeon said, turning around and matching strides with Dami again.”And something about being out at night is kind of exhilarating.” 

 

“I like it too.” Dami said, “Feels like the entire world belongs to you when it's empty out in public.”  

 

The first restaurant they came to was the one that Siyeon visited with Yoohyeon that fateful night so long ago.. 

 

“How about this one?” Dami asked.

 

“Ah, no not this one.” Siyeon choked, clearing . “I’ve eaten there before, we can do better.” 

 

“Are you sure?” Dami asked.

 

“Definitely..” Siyeon said. “I’ve walked down this street a million times, there’s gotta be other places that are still open.” 

 

The further they walked down the street, the darker it seemed. Storefront after storefront was locked down for the night. 

 

“What time is it anyway?” Siyeon asked.

 

Dami pulled out her phone. “11:40…”

 

“Oh.. It’s later than I thought.” Siyeon said.

 

“Yeah..” Dami said softly. “Look, we can reschedule..”

 

“Are you giving up on our adventure already?” Siyeon asked. 

 

“I don’t want to.” Dami said earnestly as they crossed another street. “I’m just hungry.” 

 

“I am too.” Siyeon hummed. “Let’s, take a right turn and see what’s on the other side of that block as we’re walking home. If we don’t find anything we can reschedule. Deal?” 

 

“Deal.” Dami held out her pinky. 

 

Siyeon completed the promise and upon feeling how cold Dami’s hands were, interlaced their fingers as they crossed to the other side of the street. 

 

“Your hands are cold.” Siyeon said. 

 

“Yours aren’t.”

 

“That’s just because they were here..” Siyeon said, before bringing Dami’s hand into her coat pocket and holding it there. ““Don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.”

 

“..Thank you.” Dami said in a small voice. 

 

From a technical standpoint, Siyeon felt like she  was doing very well, as far as interactions, but as they rounded the corner and found it almost as dark as the last street they were on, her stomach dropped.  

 

She sighed. “I’m so disappointed.” 

 

“It’s okay. This is fun anyway.” Dami said. 

 

Siyeon laughed. “Is it? We’re tired and starving and wandering the streets near midnight. This is like the start of a horror movie.”  

 

Dami laughed too. “No, It’s fine, really. I… just enjoy spending time with you.” 

 

As much as she felt herself go soft at the words, Siyeon had to be proud of Dami for her boldness. It was new, and Siyeon wondered if Yoohyeon had given Dami a pep talk before they left.

 

“I enjoy spending time with you, too.” Siyeon said, Looking sideways at Dami. 

 

Dami's eyes remained on the ground ahead of her, but she smiled in such a way that the lines at the corner of stood more pronounced.  

 

Siyeon wanted to poke them, but light from the alleyway immediately distracted her.

 

She stopped and leaned behind Dami to peer around her. 

 

“..Pojangmacha?” Dami asked. 

 

Although it did faintly smell like food, the tent looked nearly abandoned.  

 

“Do you think it’s still open?” Dami asked again. 

 

“Maybe.. but you made me a really nice dinner you deserve better than pojangmacha.” Siyeon said. 

 

“Let’s just check.” Dami said, pulling at Siyeon’s arm. 

 

“Alright..” Siyeon said, allowing herself to be dragged along. 

 

Disappearing into a dark alley and approaching an empty pojangmacha seemed like the next scene in Siyeon’s horror movie theory, but she put on a brave face. 

 

It seemed like the tent was an extension of the back of a building. As they got closer they could see a sliding door on the other side. A man noticed them from inside.

 

“Ahjussi, are you still open?” Siyeon asked as the man came out to greet them. 

 

“We’re open all night.” He said. “Are you both old enough to drink though?” 

 

“Oh, we’re not here to drink..” Siyeon said. 

 

She looked to Dami to see her looking at the menu, her eyes going wide. “They have mandu.”

 

“You want to eat here?” 

 

Dami nodded.

 

Siyeon took a seat at the counter. “Alright, but I feel like I’m still going to owe you.” 

 

“Nonsense.” Dami said. 

 

Siyeon ended up ordering the tteokbokki with dakkochi. Dami got her manu with some hotteok. The serving sizes were generous and after the man was done cooking, he disappeared back into the building giving them complete privacy.  Siyeon could see that he was watching television and only vaguely keeping an eye on his business.

 

It was a nice set up. There were hanging lights around the top of the tent and a small radio in the corner was playing some dated music at a moderate level. The space heater was the best feature, Siyeon thought. 

 

Finding out that there was an all night pojangmacha so close to their dorms would be life changing. She could definitely see herself coming back here.

 

“It’s actually delicious.” Dami said, dancing in her seat happily as she chewed.  

 

Siyeon shifted on her stool to angle herself towards Dami. “Try this.”

 

She fed Dami one of her ricecakes.

 

“It’s so good.” Dami said. “I think… we shouldn’t tell the others about this place.” 

 

“You want this place to be just ours huh?” Siyeon said. 

 

Dami smiled. 

 

“Sounds good to me.” Siyeon said. 

 

Unsurprisingly, Siyeon inhaled her food and finished way faster than Dami, but she didn’t mind. Finally full and satisfied, he enjoyed watching the girl eat under the interesting lighting even though she wasn’t sure Dami appreciated the audience. 

 

Siyeon tentatively reached a hand out and brushed some of Dami’s hair out of her face under the pretense of helping her eat, but really just so that she could see the girls' features better.  The more she stared, the more attractive she found Dami, from her incredible deep eyes to her angular jawline and low hanging ears.  

 

Somehow in the last several minutes, it seemed like they were moving closer to one another, like some gravitational pull was actually shifting their barstools.

 

“I really love this cut on you.” Siyeon said, to draw attention from her obvious staring.

 

Dami gave a crooked smile and didn’t say anything for a while. It was obvious she was breathing faster.  

 

“I’m glad you do.” She finally said. 

 

“You’ve been getting a ton of attention for it. You’re gonna take all the pretty female fans away from me.” 

 

Dami chuckled, “I seriously doubt that.” 

 

“It's true.” Siyeon smiled. “I read what they say about you.” 

 

Dami finished up eating while shaking her head. 

 

They stood, waving goodnight to the ahjussi before starting their walk home in silence. Siyeon took Dami’s hand this time without prompting.

 

As comfortable as she was with sharing silence with Dami, Siyeon thought it was pertinent to take advantage of the alone time they had together. 

 

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.” Siyeon said. 

 

Dami looked extremely thoughtful for a long time.

 

Their normal gait had slowed down to almost a crawl, neither of them seemingly interested in reaching home at a decent hour.

 

“I’ve only told one person about this directly.” Dami said before grinning, “I guess it would have made a lot of sense to tell you a lot earlier, but I like girls too.”

 

Siyeon beamed and then remembered that technically she wasn’t supposed to know this already. She had to act now. 

 

“How long?” Siyeon asked. 

 

“All my life.” Dami said. 

 

“We had that in common and you didn’t tell me?” Siyeon said with fake outrage.

 

“It’s not personal.” Dami said, “You just seem a lot more confident about it than I am.”

 

“It’s not confidence. I'm just bumbling my way through it like an idiot.” 

 

“You seem to be doing well.” Dami said, happy to take an an opportunity to change the subject. “Speaking of which, what’s going on with you and Sua now?” 

 

“Nothing good.” Siyeon said, her face falling at having to think about that situation. “There’s not going to be a ‘me and Sua’.” 

 

“Ah..” Dami nodded, face unreadable.

 

“How come you're so interested in me and Sua?” Siyeon asked, a small smile playing at . 

 

“Uhm.” Dami looked thoughtful again. “I figure, in your position you wouldn’t have many people to talk to about it. So..” 

 

They made eye contact, and it was clear on Siyeon’s face that she thought Dami was full of . Dami’s poker face broke instantly and she beamed before looking away. 

 

“Uh huh.” Siyeon quipped. “That’s what I thought.” 

 

“Anyway, nice weather we’ve been having.” Dami chuckled, comedically trying to change the subject. “A bit cold tonight without the wind, though.” 

 

It was all the prompting Siyeon needed. 

 

She let go of Damis hand and shrugged out of her coat before offering it to the girl. 

 

Dami took it and as she put it on, Siyeon found it remarkable that despite the monochromic muted colors of night, somehow Dami’s face burned so red. 

 

This time, Dami reclaimed Siyeon’s hand.

 

“We have to go back there sometime.” Dami said. 

 

“We will.” Siyeon said. “That’s our pojangmacha. But I still feel like I owe you a proper dinner.”

 

“That was delicious.” Dami says.”It totally counts.” 

 

“It’s not what I promised..” Siyeon said.

 

Their dorms were in view now.  Somehow it felt like they were walking even slower.

 

“It was better.” Dami said.

 

They climbed the stairs to the entrance and Siyeon let go of Dami’s hand to kneel and go through her bag to get her key card.

 

“Ah, there it is.” Siyeon said, standing upright.

 

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”
 

Shocked, Siyeon turned to look at Dami.

 

Dami first shrunk slightly at the eye contact, but seemingly with effort stood taller and squared her shoulders. Her face looked passive, but it seemed as though her eyes were shaking a bit in their sockets. 

 

Siyeon couldn't believe that Dami was the one asking. 

 

“Like.. a date?” She asked.

 

“A real date.” Dami said gruffly. 

 

Siyeon knew immediately that the answer was yes, but she allowed herself to ponder the consequences for a moment.

 

Consequences, she thought it was dumb that she should face any negative backlash for being happy. 

 

Sua had all the time in the world to ask her out, and she never showed any sign that she would.

 

In front of her very eyes Dami’s resolve was crumbling with every second that passed. 

 

“Okay, Yeah.” Siyeon said, grinning.

 

“Really?” Dami asked. 

 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami beamed, looking a little dizzy.

 

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight.” Siyeon said. “Can I have a hug?” 

 

“Absolutely.” Dami breathed.

 

Dami rolled onto her tippy toes to sling her arms around Siyeon’s neck.

 

Whatever Siyeon thought made up a ‘good hug’ before this was meaningless. Dami’s head came to rest against her shoulder and it was as if there were some unspoken words being traded by this simple act.  

 

Somehow, compared to everything Siyeon did with Sua, this felt far more intimate.  

 

Siyeon didn’t want to let go. She placed her palm flat against Dami’s lower back and ran in up and down. Despite the heavy coat she was wearing, Siyeon could feel Dami’s elevated breathing in against her the outline of her spinal cord. 

 

Surprisingly, Dami was the first one to pull back.For once, she was unable to hide the elation on her face.

 

As they stared into each other's eyes, Siyeon thought:

 

This. This is the time when you kiss the girl.

 

It took all of her effort to return her attention back to opening the door. This seemed like the only time ever that following Yoohyeon’s advice would be the best course of action. Siyeon hoped dearly that she wouldn’t end up regretting it. 

 

Siyeon led the way inside, her hand trailing behind her pulling Dami along. 

 

She felt as though she was walking on clouds again, looking forward to spending the rest of the night staring at the bottom of Jiu’s bunk and processing her feelings. 

 

They almost made it to the door of their bedroom before Sua came out of the living room looking scandalized, her eyes going from Dami and Siyeon’s conjoined hands and back to Siyeon’s face with the utmost betrayal.  

 

The difference was that Siyeon felt so invincible tonight that there was no underlying feeling of dread in her stomach..  

 

She turned to Dami “I’ll be in, just give me a minute.” 

 

Dami hesitated before entering the bedroom. 

 

Siyeon casually walked to the kitchen. Sua followed behind her, arms crossed tight. 

 

Siyeon managed to pour a glass of water and lean against the counter to drink it before any words had been spoken.

 

Perhaps she’d truly rendered Sua speechless?

 

“I gave you so many months to come around and you just wanted to play games with me..” Siyeon said as she cleaned the glass. 

 

“You said a relationship was impossible and disregarded my one stipulation, instead believing that I'd just end up sleeping with you anyway. You denied reality when I said it wasn’t going to happen. You made me uncomfortable even after I told you how I felt. And you’re surprised that I found someone else?” 

 

Sua scoffed but Siyeon didn’t give her a chance to respond. 

 

“You don’t have the right to be upset about anything.”  Siyeon shrugged. “We’d make better friends anyway. But I understand if you want to take a break from that for a while too. Goodnight Sua.”  

 

She left Sua stunned in the kitchen. 

 

Siyeon’s nerves were shaking, but oh god did that feel good. 

 

After Siyeon closed the bedroom door she leaned against it and exhaled.  

 

Dami looked at her questioningly, but Siyeon found Jiu’s eyes instead.

 

“You might wanna check on Sua.” She said.  

 

“Aish, did you have to do it so late?” Jiu groaned as she climbed out of bed.

 

“It had to be done.”  Siyeon said, wondering if she’d have ever been able to do that without the adrenaline boost that spending time with Dami had given her.  

 

“If you insist it had to be done at 1AM, I’ll take your word for it.” Jiu sighed as she left the room.  

 

“Are you okay?” Dami asked. 

 

Siyeon nodded as she sat on her bed. “Never better.” 

 

Dami smiled and turned back to the pajamas she had laid out on her bed. She grabbed at the bottom of her shirt as if she was about to take it off when she paused.  After some thought, she picked up the pajamas and smiled awkwardly at Siyeon.  

 

“Um, gonna go change.” She said, before leaving the room as well. 

 

Siyeon beamed after her before laying back in her bed.

 

Over six years they’d known each other, many of those days spent changing in front of one another, and in one night Dami had decided now it’s time to start change in private. 

 

Adorable.

 

Pure. 

 

Above everything else it just felt so natural. 

 

Finally something that felt normal was on the horizon and while a million emotions were running through Siyeons head, the one that wondered if she had been too harsh on Sua was drowned out for now.  

 

As she played it back in her head, Siyeon was a hundred percent sure that everything she said was justified and true.

 

Jiu would probably let her know how much damage was done tomorrow.  

 

Right now, Siyeon didn’t care. She had a date to look forward to with a very sweet and attractive woman that wanted her for more than her body.  

 

How did she get so lucky?