Frowning in concentration, Siyeon attempted again to spin the marker over the top of her knuckles only for it to fall once more to the table. She made a dissatisfied face. Surely she would eventually master the art of pen spinning, what with all the fansigns she participates in there was plenty of time to practice.

 

To be fair, she was once much better at it in school and this marker was much thicker than a normal pen…

 

She glanced upwards towards the gallery of camera lenses in front of her and she could hear the DSLR's begin to rattle again. She smiled and began to play with them, throwing finger hearts here and there.

 

Fansigns were at least fun and not very strenuous in comparison to their other schedules she had attended on this day, not least because it was the last one of the comeback.

 

Siyeon enjoyed meeting fans. As a musician, she was glad she could leave an impact on some people's lives. As for the others who didn't seem to be coming for the music, Siyeon had become pretty good at faking it through marriage proposals and love declarations.

 

Some of the other girls were years ahead of her in terms of fan service, but she was definitely getting better. It was just part of being an idol and surely one day it wouldn't be like this and everyone would see her as a serious artist before a pretty face. At least that's what she told herself.

 

Jiu was wrapping up with the next fan. Siyeon turned to look at the girl and immediately felt like a hypocrite.

 

God, this girl was so beautiful.

 

"Hello."

 

Siyeon found herself staring as the girl sat down in front of her, unable to form a response. The girl shyly stared back.

 

Honestly, she could have been a model.

 

"Hi." Siyeon said back, pulling the girls album in front of herself. "Are you my fan?"

 

"I'm a big Dreamcatcher fan." the girl said.

 

"Thank you." Siyeon smiled as she found her own page in the girls album. "But who is your favorite?"

 

The fan smiled and seemed to blush a little.

 

"Gahyeon."

 

Siyeon looked surprised and looked down the line towards Gahyeon.

 

"Gahyeon?" She asked. "You look like you could be older than her."

 

"Well, I'm older than you, too." The fan said.

 

Siyeon, surprised by this but determined not to show it, shook her head before returning her gaze to the fan. "No."

 

The fan looked shocked.

 

"No? What do you mean?"

 

"You belong to me now." Siyeon stated, "What's your name?"

 

“Y-Yena” The fan stammered, looking shocked.

 

“Yena Unnie.” Siyeon spoke as she signed the girl’s name at the top of her album booklet.

 

Grinning, she looked up to Yena for approval only to receive an incredulous stare.

 

"Are you like this with everyone?" Yena asked.

 

"No." Siyeon said honestly, signing her name extra elaborately, almost taking up the entire page in the booklet. "But I will remember your name. So will you be loyal to me?"

 

"Maybe." Yena said. "We'll see if you remember me."

 

Siyeon smirked and continued drawing little hearts all over the page. It was beyond excessive, but Siyeon could now sense the attention she was receiving from her neighbor and this was the desired effect all along.

 

"So, Unnie, are you still studying?" Siyeon asked, returning her attention to the fan.

 

The perfunctory question to ask since most fans were students.

 

"Not anymore. I was studying fashion design but it's not really for me. I'm trying to get into modeling..."

 

Ah, so Siyeon wasn’t far off…

 

"That shouldn't be difficult for you." Siyeon said.

 

Yena laughed shakily, seeming a little confused with flattery but enjoying it all the same. It then became a staring match. Siyeon was impressed that the fan's gaze didn't falter.

 

"It's funny. I read on the fancafe that your stare was really scary but I just thought that was an exaggeration."

 

Siyeon laughed this time. "Oh? Am I scary?"

 

"Scary.. Not exactly."

 

In Siyeon’s peripheral vision, she could see the fan in front of Sua rise. Time was almost up.

 

"Intense. Maybe a little dangerous." Yena continued.

 

Siyeon grinned and raised a single eyebrow.

 

The exchange had been successful because as Yena rose from her seat to move down the line, Siyeon could notice her flushed complexion even though the fan tried her best to hide it.

 

"Maybe I will be your fan, Siyeon-ah." She said.

 

"Then I will remember you, Unnie." Siyeon offered a handshake for a promise and made sure to squeeze the girls hand meaningfully before she was gone completely.

 

It was very warm.

 

"You're shameless."

 

"Oh." Siyeon found Jiu staring at her with a similarly empty chair in front of her. "What exactly have I done to be ashamed of?"

 

"You used to have a little self control." Jiu said with a small smile.

 

"Ah.." Siyeon nodded.

 

Jiu wasn't exactly wrong about her self control dwindling, even though Siyeon thought she was just trying to be funny.

 

Jiu took her arm and pulled it around her neck before laying back entirely on Siyeon's shoulder.

 

Siyeon smiled as the frantic snapping from the camera gallery predictably picked up again .

 

"Maybe you're just jealous?" Siyeon muttered in an undertone.

 

"Of..?"

 

"Have I not been flirting with you enough lately?" Siyeon asked.

 

“Seriously?” Jiu looked shocked. "I'm not the one you should be worried about.."

 

Jiu's eyes motioned behind Siyeon to where Sua was sitting.

 

A smile slowly spread across Siyeon's face. "Ah, my intended target?"

 

Jiu gave her a confused look but was unable to respond as the next fan was taking his seat in front of her.

 

And Siyeon knew this was a topic she would force later.

 

She heard the cameras rattling intensify before she felt the gentle pressure against her arm. Turning she found Sua with a hardened expression manipulating an elephant plushy to run into her shoulder.

 

“Are you challenging me?” Siyeon asked.

 

Sua said nothing, opting to imitate the elephant sound instead.

 

Siyeon stuck out her tongue in response and Sua gave a hardened smile.

 

“I told you not to do that to me.” She said.

 

"Or what?" Siyeon asked.

 

Bora smiled wider and recognized their time was up as the next fan took his seat in front of Siyeon.

 

"You're dead." She muttered.

 

Siyeon’s beaming smile could easily be mistaken for her enthusiasm in meeting this new fan.

 

"Hi, what's your name?"

---

 

Retribution would surely be swift, so upon returning home Siyeon began to prepare for it. Sua and Siyeon had learned that the only way to find some time to themselves after work was to go straight to Siyeon’s room while the others were rushing around trying to eat and clean before bed.

 

Siyeon knew she only had a few minutes before Sua would turn up. She was able to change her clothes and brush her hair before she heard the door open and then close.

 

The lock clicked loudly.

 

Retribution was swift.

 

The only thing Siyeon didn't expect was to be pushed that hard against her bunk bed. The sound of the back of her head bouncing off the wooden support beam even made Sua pause with a look of shock.

 

"I'm okay." Siyeon said when she realized it didn't actually hurt that much.

 

Sua hesitated and looked uncertain for a moment before fortifying her reserve and using her weight to pin Siyeon in place, solidifying her position of dominance.

 

"I would be nicer, but you like playing games." Sua said.

 

Siyeon softened. "It's really easy to work you up, isn't it?"

 

Sua sighed and cradled Siyeon’s injured head before kissing her.

 

Siyeon closed her eyes and was ready to hold Sua’s leg as it came to wrap partially around her body, as expected.

 

And this routine was growing comfortable.

 

It wasn’t overwhelming anymore and Siyeon actually felt like she was getting better at it. Since reconciling a few months ago, kissing Sua was still super exciting and it would be absolute bliss if only Siyeon could turn off the damn voice that was constantly supplying commentary in her head.

 

This is nice.

 

Sua’s such a physical person… And I'm definitely not…

 

Maybe she’s my complete opposite.

 

They say opposites attract.

 

...But is this all we have in common?

 

Sua broke the kiss gently and immediately found an open patch of Siyeon’s neck to latch onto. Siyeon adjusted to give Sua more room to work and bit her lip as she felt every hair on her body stand on end.

 

What even is this? There was no label for the relationship she and Sua were portraying beyond that of a meaningless fling..

 

But then again, physical intimacy was better than no intimacy, right?

 

“You know, you don’t have to flirt with other girls in front of me to get this kind of attention.” Sua murmured.

 

“Ah, is that what this is about?” Siyeon breathed.

 

“Mmm, don’t play dumb.” Sua said, her teeth grazing Siyeon’s jugular.

 

Siyeon exhaled sharply and let Sua’s mouth get back to work on her neck, sending little jolts of pleasure to every end on her body.

 

She didn’t think she as exactly playing dumb. The catch 22 in front of her was extremely confusing.. It seemed so simple to Siyeon, that if Sua didn’t want her flirting with other girls…

 

“You know the solution.” Siyeon said. “I wouldn't be able to flirt with other girls if we were dating.”

 

Sua’s movement ceased at once.

 

She took a step back from Siyeon looking slightly defeated.

 

“Didn’t we already talk about this?” She asked.

 

“Yeah. We did.” Siyeon said. “So, how can you be upset when I look elsewhere because you don’t want to date me?”

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to.” Sua said, her eyes narrowing.. “I said-”

 

“You said you can’t.”

 

“You know I have a massive family I'd never be able to come out to.. Even if I was gay which I’m not even sure about.” Sua said.

 

Siyeon frowned because it didn’t seem fair. Sua had the option not to come out, whereas Siyeon only had the option to live in secret her entire life or greatly disappoint her parents one day. Why did it seem like Sua could just be gay when it was convenient to her?

 

“We’ve also kind of got a career to think about…” Sua continued.

 

Siyeon hardly heard the second part. She stared sadly at Sua because for the first time it really seemed like they had reached a brick wall. Siyeon had no problem waiting for Sua to come around, but the way Sua put it made it seem like becoming official would never happen.

 

“You don’t have to look so sad.” Sua’s face softened, she reached a hand out to caress Siyeon’s cheek. “It doesn’t have to be so serious. It’s so unlikely that you’re going to end up-”

 

The door to Siyeon’s bedroom opened abruptly, and god damn did Dami look like a deer in headlights.

 

“...We’ll talk later…” Sua said quietly before turning to leave.

 

Siyeon found herself staring at the floor, a familiar pain starting to grow deep in her stomach.

 

Dami looked like she wanted the floor to open up and consume her.

 

“Do you..” Dami stammered. “Should I go?”

 

“No it’s okay.” Siyeon said.

 

Siyeon looked up to fake a smile and was surprised when Dami’s entire demeanor changed from discomfort to concern. Dami’s body actually propelled forward, but she managed to stop herself.

 

She set her bag down and chose her words very carefully. “It’s not my business, but are you okay?”

 

Siyeon knew at this point that her face was probably betraying her. It would be pointless to lie to Dami. The younger girl was so perceptive anyway..

 

“I.. will be. I promise.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami didn’t seem satisfied with this response but they both became aware of Jiu’s singing and it was getting closer and closer.

 

“Dinnerrrrr!~” Jiu bellowed into the room, hands up, head back, eyes closed, straining from passion.

 

Of course, this was when Jiu was her happiest. Despite her mood Siyeon couldn’t help pardoning a little smile for how cute Jiu was.

 

“Get dressed, we’re going back out.” Jiu said,standing on Siyeon’s bunk to get something out of hers.

 

“I’m gonna pass.” Siyeon said.

 

“Why?” Jiu asked.

 

“Not hungry.”

 

“Liar. We barely ate today.” Jiu said, “Besides, didn’t you make me a promise earlier? You can be my date.”

 

Siyeon winced at Jiu’s badly timed choice of words. The cogs in Jiu’s head were turning and interrogation was inevitable. Siyeon really didn’t feel like talking about it, it was something she would have to put several hours of thought into. Alone.

 

“I’m not really hungry either.” Dami said in a dead voice.

 

Jiu turned to glare at the younger girl now and Siyeon was grateful for the distraction.

 

“Wow you guys are so boring. It’s important to let loose every now and then..” Jiu muttered.

 

“Not tonight.” Siyeon said.

 

Jiu backed towards the doorway staring at Siyeon.

 

“I want to talk later.” Jiu said.

 

“Eventually.” Siyeon nodded.

 

“Make sure you guys eat something.” Jiu said.

 

Siyeon frowned after her, hoping Jiu’s night wasn’t ruined over her own depressive behavior.

 

Dami had her back to her now doing her usual nightly things it seemed, and Siyeon was so grateful for the girl backing her up, whether intentional or not. Without Dami, she probably would have been dragged out tonight.

 

Siyeon sat in her bunk and stared off into nothingness.

 

It was nice getting off work and finding somewhere to hide and spend time with Sua. Affection was addictive, Siyeon’s confidence as of late was soaring and she was almost starting to function like a normal person, but in the end would it be worth it if she got too attached?

 

What was the point if nothing would come of it…?

 

Would it be better to put a stop to it?

 

Was Siyeon even strong enough to put a stop to it at this point?

 

“Are you ready?”

 

Dami stood in front of her in a baseball cap and a facemask.

 

“I thought we weren’t going?” Siyeon asked.

 

“We’re not but I was hoping you’d come to the store with me and then I’ll make us chicken. I’m starving, and we had a deal, so.. ”

 

“Wow.” Siyeon’s entire face changed when she remembered.

 

Dami held out a hand to help Siyeon up.

 

Siyeon didn’t even realize how hungry she was until chicken became a prospect.

---

 

“Eesh.” Siyeon said, stepping into the dormitory’s interior.

 

“It’s cold huh?” Dami said. She set some groceries down momentarily to enter the pin to the dorm. “Turn on the heater when we get inside, yeah?”

 

“Definitely.” Siyeon said, following Dami inside and dropping her bags in the kitchen before messing with the thermostat.

 

“You should have brought a thicker jacket.” Dami said, bending down in the kitchen to retrieve some pans from the lower cabinets.

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have worn pajama pants either.” Siyeon said, returning to the kitchen. “How can I help?”

 

“I got it.” Dami said.

 

“No, let me help.” Siyeon insisted.

 

“Um..” Dami said, glancing around at the bags on the ground before bending double to pick up some of the vegetables. “You can chop these up.”

 

Siyeon took them and headed to the sink to wash them. They worked side by side in silence for a while as Dami cut up the chicken and fired up the stove. It wasn’t until Siyeon heard the faint sound of sizzling that Siyeon felt eyes upon her.

 

“Do you want these to be cut big or small?” She asked, glancing at Dami.

 

Dami’s eyes were only on the large knife Siyeon was holding. “Small.”

 

Siyeon made an experimental cut that ended with the knife making a very loud noise against the cutting board. Dami jumped, hands extended.

 

“Like this?” Siyeon asked.

 

Dami was shaking her head. “Let me do that.”

 

“Did I do it wrong?” Siyeon asked.

 

“No. You’re going to cut yourself.” Dami said, taking the knife.

 

“Hey, I’m an adult-”

 

“I’ll do it, it’s okay.” Dami said.

 

They had a stare down.

 

“Well let me do something at least..” Siyeon scowled.

 

“You can start the rice.” Dami said and she began chopping much quicker than Siyeon would have.

 

“You have no trust in me.” Siyeon said, taking the rice out of the bag.

 

“I don’t see a reason to risk it.” Dami said, not missing a single chop out of her rhythm.

 

They fell back into silence again. Siyeon washed the rice and then put it into the cooker. She turned to lean against the counter and watch Dami scoop the vegetables into the pan with the already searing chicken.

 

Siyeon watched as Dami pulled her hoodie over her head and crossed the kitchen to fold it over a chair. Her shoulders were extra pronounced in the tank top she was wearing underneath and became fascinated with the way they connected to her collarbone. Dami’s angles were no joke.

 

Siyeon subconsciously slipped out of her own jacket.

 

Dami returned to watch the chicken cook. Shortly after she met Siyeon’s eyes.

 

“So..” She said.

 

“So.” Siyeon nodded.

 

“Are you feeling better?” Dami asked.

 

“Yeah.. it’s nice to get away from all the noise.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami nodded and there was a long pause as she seemed to chew on her tongue.

 

“It… seems like you and Sua are getting kind of serious?” Dami asked.

 

“Eh..” Siyeon started, a somewhat sad smile on her face. “It’s funny you say that, because I was starting to think the opposite.”

 

“But why?”

 

“I don’t think we’re looking for the same thing.” Siyeon said.

 

“Oh..” Dami said softly. Siyeon watched her as she set her face into an unreadable expression.

 

“What are you looking for?” She finally asked.

 

“Umm..” Siyeon pushed herself up to sit on the edge of the counter in order to buy herself time. She didn’t see it fair for her to make the declaration she just did without being able to answer Dami’s simple question.

 

"I want a relationship. I want to go on dates and talk late at night in text messages and take couple selcas and wear matching outfits..” Siyeon said disjointedly.

 

Siyeon stared at her feet as she tried to find the correct words to finish her thought.

 

“I want someone who won’t be afraid to hold my hand in public.. because I’d be proud of holding hers. I.. want to go outside together. I’d want everyone to know, even if it's not a good idea. It’s not that I want to force her to be out for me. I don’t even think I’m ready to be out yet. But in a perfect world… I just want it on the horizon. She... she has to be on the same page.“

 

Siyeon didn’t know what she was expecting when she looked up to meet Dami’s gaze, but she wasn’t expecting the girl to be wearing such a frozen, serious expression.

 

It kind of made her embarrassed. Siyeon wasn't usually the type to spill her emotions so easily.

 

She laughed once before shaking her head. “Sorry, that was a bit much.”

 

Dami turned her attention back to the food on the stove, mulling over her answer before answering.

 

“I don’t think so.” She said, slowly. “That seems pretty reasonable.”

 

Siyeon watched as Dami took the top off of the pan and a cloud of steam escaped it. The food smelled delicious and looked nearly done.

 

“It won’t be hard for you to find that.” Dami said.

 

“It seems impossible.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami shook her head. “There’s a line of girls waiting to date you.”

 

Siyeon bursted out laughing at this. “You’re full of it.”

 

“Everywhere we go girls fawn over you.” Dami said, waving the wooden spoon in the air.

 

“Oh, what? Fans? What can I do with that?” Siyeon said. “They fawn over you more than me.”

 

“Not just fans.” Dami said.

 

“Where?! Prove it.” Siyeon said, grinning broadly. “You can’t.”

 

Dami sighed instead, liberating a single piece of chicken from the pan and waking it to Siyeon, a hand underneath it to catch the sauce dripping off.

 

Siyeon opened to accept it when Dami pulled it away.

 

“It’s really hot Unnie.” She said.

 

Siyeon nodded and opened again.

 

“No…” Dami smiled. “You fool. I mean blow on it.”

 

Siyeon started laughing. Dami's eyes disappeared in her smile.

 

“Of course... I knew that.” Siyeon said before she started blowing on the piece of chicken.

 

Dami’s eyes came to rest on Siyeon’s lips as she waited patiently. Siyeon watched her as she ate the chicken, trying to read her unreadable visage.

 

When Dami looked up to meet her eyes she was surprised to feel the now familiar jolt in her nerves.

 

Siyeon’s breath caught, but she easily played it off as the chicken being too hot.

 

“It’s delicious.” She choked out.

 

Dami turned off the stove and took the entire pan to the table. “Get the rice and I’ll get the rest.”

 

Siyeon got a big bowl out of the cabinet and filled it with rice from the cooker before bringing it to the table. Dami met her there with plates and cutlery.

 

They sat next to each other and filled their empty plates in silence. Dami seemed to wait for Siyeon to finish preparing her own dish before she started eating.

 

“This is really nice.” Siyeon said.

 

“It was part of the deal.” Dami said.

 

“Not just the deal, I mean it’s just nice and quiet.” Siyeon said. “I can see why you get sick of us so easily.”

 

“I don’t get sick of you.” Dami smiled.” I just need to recharge sometimes.”

 

Siyeon grinned sideways at Dami, who grinned back but couldn’t hold her gaze for long.

 

“You would never say a bad word against your unnies, would you?” Siyeon asked.

 

“I’m... not that kind of person.” Dami said, her smile expanding.

 

Siyeon's mood skyrocketed as they ate comfortably. Good food and even better company. Sua was honestly the last thing on her mind now..

 

“So, you have to take me out to eat now.” Dami said.

 

“I didn’t forget.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami nodded, seeming satisfied and excited at the prospect of going out to dinner with Siyeon.

 

They looked at one another when they heard beeping coming from the front door. Dami smiled apologetically. Their peaceful time was at an end.

 

Chaos.

 

Abrupt chaos entered the dorms.

 

Siyeon had no idea what could have been so funny as they all entered at the same time. Screams of laughter and fractured conversations. It seemed as though they managed to turn on every light in the dorm at the same time as they scattered in every direction. Sua, the loudest, shouting at Gahyeon as she headed directory towards her room without sparing the slightest glance towards the kitchen.

 

Handong came in silently as expected and smiled at Siyeon before turning into her own room.

 

“Oh, here’s the hermit unnies.” Gahyeon said, pointing towards Dami and Siyeon.

 

Before Siyeon could respond, Jiu bounded into the room and forced herself onto Siyeon's lap.

 

It was so sudden that Siyeon almost began choking, kicking the table hard with her knee.

 

“Why-?”

 

“I wish you would have come with ussss.” Jiu crooned, throwing her arms around Siyeon’s neck.

 

“Why are you being like this?” Siyeon got out uninterrupted. But when she inhaled she got her own answer.

 

Jiu reeked of alcohol.

 

“You all went out drinking?” Siyeon asked.

 

Jiu didn’t answer, instead she took Siyeon’s chopsticks and began feeding her.

 

Exasperated, Siyeon looked to Dami only to find her staring hard at her own food.

 

Siyeon wondered what the sudden shift in mood was about.

 

Yoohyeon came around the corner, her eyes immediately landing on the food on the table. She seemed to be just in the early stages of squinting, so it was clear she didn’t have nearly as much to drink as Jiu, thankfully. She moved to stand beside Dami who acknowledged her.

 

“Didn’t you just eat?” Dami asked.

 

“Well, I mean… yeah.. But…” Yoohyeon muttered.

 

Dami pushed her plate to the side. “I’m pretty much done anyway. “

 

After a while Jiu abandoned her feeding duty and rested her head on Siyeon’s shoulder instead. Siyeon attempted to balance some of her weight but her attempt was futile. Jiu was dead weight against her.

 

“How much did you drink?” Siyeon asked.

 

“Spinning.” Was all Jiu said.

 

Uh oh.

 

“Your head’s spinning?”

 

“Mmph.” Jiu responded.

 

Yoohyeon and Dami both stared at Siyeon with wide eyes.

 

“I think I should get her to bed.” Siyeon said.

 

“Probably.” Yoohyeon said.

 

“Alright. We’re getting up.” Siyeon announced, nudging Jiu hard.

 

Jiu had nearly fallen asleep on Siyeon’s shoulder so it was a great effort to carry her into the bedroom. She knew that pulling her into the top bunk would be near impossible, so she let her fall into her own bed instead.

 

“I wish you would have come.” Jiu said in a small voice.

 

“I don’t plan on drinking with the members ever again.” Siyeon said, opening Jiu’s closet to look for pajamas.

 

“Mmm. Does that include me too!?” Jiu asked with sloppy indignance.

 

“Remember what happened last time?” Siyeon asked, turning back to Jiu.

 

Siyeon almost dropped the pajamas.

 

In the few moments that she had her back turned, Jiu had shed all of her clothing as lazily as a snake might shed it’s skin. It was a sight to behold. Jiu, in only her undergarments, lying nearly sideways in Siyeon’s bed looking up at her.

 

How many times had Siyeon fantasized about this moment before?

 

She swallowed hard, noticing the little indents near Jiu’s hip bones beneath her chiseled abdomen.

 

“That’s not fair.” Jiu said. “You make it a point to flirt with me every day and then act like it’d be a big deal if we went out drinking together and something happened.”

 

Siyeon blinked. Surely this was drunk Jiu trying to call her bluff.

 

“We talked about this.” Siyeon said.

 

“So, you’re all talk?” Jiu asked, smiling blearily up at Siyeon. “It seems you like to look anyway. You can look.”

 

Siyeon hadn’t realized she was staring until this moment. She felt herself go red and threw the pajamas at Jiu, successfully covering most of her body up.

 

“You’d never forgive me if I acted on this while you’re drunk.” Siyeon said.

 

Jiu sighed loudly.

 

“Yeah, okay. I can respect that.” Jiu conceded with a yawn. It seemed like she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

 

Siyeon sighed and rubbed her head for a moment.

 

She would definitely be sleeping in Jiu’s bed alone tonight as a precaution.

 

“Are you going to throw up?” She asked.

 

Jiu inhaled deeply as she rolled onto her stomach. “Your bed smells like you.”

 

Siyeon rolled her eyes. “Yes. Of course it does. Unnie, are you still spinning?”

 

“No. I’m fine.” Jiu huffed, muffled against the mattress.

 

She sounded like she’d drop out at any minute.

 

“I’m gonna go clean up.” Siyeon said.

 

Jiu didn’t respond.

 

Siyeon slipped out the door and made sure to close the door behind her silently so as not to wake the drunk.

 

The kitchen table was now empty, but she could hear the sink running. Peeking her head around the corner, she could see Yoohyeon with her back against the counter listening to Dami talk as she was doing the dishes.

 

Yoohyeon looked surprised at Siyeon’s reappearance.

 

Siyeon thought it was a dumb thing to be surprised about. Of course she was going to be coming back eventually.

 

She took a step forward, but before Siyeon could make her presence known to everyone in the kitchen, Dami began speaking as though she was already in the middle of a conversation.

 

“She’s just so... hot. I don’t understand how anybody can be that attractive.” Dami said. “And she doesn’t even realize it. She has no idea what she does to me.”

 

Siyeon froze in place.

 

The initial shock came from hearing Dami speak in such a way at all.

 

Dami had never expressed the slightest shred of interest in anybody in front of Siyeon before. The realization came a few seconds later when Siyeon realized this was a real person Dami was talking about, and a ‘she’ at that!

 

“I lose all ability to function when we’re alone together. It’s like she scrambles my brain and I just end up staring at her. It’s so embarrassing. I can plan the entire thing in my head in advance and even feel really confident about it, but then she’ll smile and I'll see that dimple on her cheek and be reduced to a stuttering mess.”

 

It was easy to tell that Yoohyeon was panicking hard. Her eyes were the size of soccer balls while she hesitated, staring at Siyeon.

 

In Yoohyeon’s infinite wisdom, she attempted to motion for Siyeon to leave the room, something that Siyeon thought probably looked super obvious. Dami just kept washing dishes though seeming oblivious.

 

Siyeon silently hurried her way out of view of the kitchen near the front door, her heart hammering.

 

“Why don’t you tell her?” Yoohyeon asked.

 

Dami hissed at this idea. “I told you, It’s not the right time.”

 

“You always say that, Dami. It’s been years. You just need to pluck up the courage and get it over with.” Yoohyeon said.

 

Siyeon eyed her bedroom door, feeling like she shouldn’t be eavesdropping on this. How difficult would it be to get back into the room without drawing attention to herself?

 

“She’s in a difficult position right now with Sua and I don’t want to do anything to complicate that.” Dami said.

 

Siyeon immediately abandoned any thought of escaping. She could feel her muscles turn to stone as she slowly exhaled. Dami was talking about her. At this point there was no denying it.

 

“Don’t you think it’d be easier for her to decide if she knew she had an alternative?” Yoohyeon asked.

 

“Maybe. But I want her to be sure about what she wants. If she knew now then maybe she’d make a decision she ends up regretting later. I just want her to be happy even if she doesn’t end up with me.” Dami said.

 

It was hands down the sweetest thing Siyeon had ever heard. So sweet in fact that Siyeon became sceptical that Dami was talking about her now. She tried to review the things she’d just heard...

 

All that could be heard for a while was the running water and the occasional clanking of dishes.

 

And then Dami’s deep chuckle.

 

“But she has to take me to dinner now.”

 

Siyeon smiled, feeling warmer than she could ever remember just from being able to hear the triumph in Dami's voice.

 

“Call it a date when she does.” Yoohyeon said in a teasing manner.

 

It fell quiet again.

 

Siyeon, feeling guilty that Dami was doing the dishes alone, came up with a plan and returned to her bedroom door. She opened it and closed it loud enough that everyone would be able to hear (Jiu be damned), and walked as noisily as she could into the kitchen.

 

“Yah.” She said as soon as she rounded the corner.

 

Both Dami and Yoohyeon turned to look at her.

 

“You cooked, dishes are mine.” She said, edging Dami out from in front of the sink.

 

Dami looked surprised. “Unnie, it’s okay, they’re almost done. I can just-”

 

“Go rest.” Siyeon said. She smiled sideways at Dami, trying to convey some of the warmth that Dami made her feel. She noticed that Dami’s eyes fell to her cheek and Siyeon felt another flourish of warmth flood her face.

 

Dami stood there looking somewhat distressed. “R-really I don’t mind.”

 

Dami is the type of person who has trouble allowing anyone to clean up a mess she made. Least of all, Siyeon..

 

“How about you dry?” Siyeon asked.

 

“I-.. O-okay.” Dami reluctantly agreed.

 

Yoohyeon clicked loudly, drawing attention from both of them. She pushed herself away from the counter smiling victoriously. “I guess I’ll leave you to it. You guys make a great team.”

 

Siyeon shook her head but ignored the idiot.

 

As she washed the rest of the dishes, she remembered in the past when Yoohyeon tried on multiple occasions to get Dami and Siyeon some alone time, even faking an illness. Her behavior made a lot more sense now, but Siyeon felt bad for Dami.

 

Yooheyon was about as subtle as a punch to the face.

 

Siyeon wondered if Yoohyeon had kept her presence a secret just now simply because she was sick of Dami’s inaction.

 

Dami would probably be furious with her if she knew.

 

Siyeon turned off the sink finally and dried her own hands as she watched Dami dry the last bowl.

 

She offered a high five to Dami, which the girl took after setting the bowl on the rack.

 

Siyeon then pulled her into a tight hug instead. Dami’s body went rigid at once.

 

“Thank you for dinner.” Siyeon murmured.

 

“It’s nothing.” Said Dami, weakly.

 

Siyeon didn’t let go, so Dami tightened her grip.

 

“You always take such good care of me.” Siyeon continued before letting go. She slid her hand into Dami’s and began walking to their room. “I promise I’m gonna take you somewhere really nice to eat.”

 

“Okay.” Dami paused for a long time until they reached the door and then said extremely casually, “It’s a date.”

 

Siyeon beamed at her, surprised to feel butterflies in her stomach. “Alright. It’s a date.”

 

Dami chuckled nervously as they entered the bedroom but came to an abrupt stop when Jiu came into view.

 

Jiu had made no effort to put her pajamas on and remained splayed on Siyeon’s bed. Siyeon could feel Dami shrink like a deflating balloon.

 

Instead of explaining, Siyeon immediately started climbing the ladder to Jiu’s bed.

 

“Goodnight Dami.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami’s smile was 100% relief. “Goodnight.”

 

Sleep wasn’t going to come tonight however, and Siyeon was perfectly okay with that. There was a lot to unpack and her brain was moving a mile a minute.

 

Siyeon stared at the ceiling while listening to Dami get ready for bed until the lights went out.

 

Had Yoohyeon really said that Dami had been waiting years to say something to her?

 

Siyeon cast her memory back as far as she could and tried analyzing every interaction, every little gesture that Dami had done for her. A lot of things started making more sense.

 

Of course Dami would have been upset about her making out with Yoohyeon...

 

Dami always made sure she had something to eat, that her clothes were on straight and looking good, that she never got left behind. Dami held doors open for her and asked about her feelings and actually cared about the answer.

 

She listened better than anyone Siyeon knew. She complimented her. She even put Siyeon’s feelings ahead of her own, stifling her own confession instead of making herself a point of contention.

 

For this long Siyeon had been completely oblivious and all the while Dami was keenly aware of her every thought and move.

 

It made Siyeon feel guilty, but the feeling didn’t last for long. She knew now.

 

And they had a ‘date’.

 

And even though the way Dami had said it made it how to be no big deal, Siyeon thought it would definitely feel like it now, now that she knew.

 

Siyeon felt her heart pound powerfully in her chest and relished in the warm feeling.

 

Isn’t this exactly what she wanted?

 

On paper, wouldn't Dami be her ideal type?

 

Siyeon kept finding herself thinking about Dami’s incredible abyssal eyes boring into her own. The cute way her lips curve upward sharply at the edges of and those inviting angular shoulders…

 

She forced those thoughts out of her head eventually.

 

This was serious now.

 

Siyeon promised herself then to tread carefully. Dami was right, she should move forward with no regrets. And this could only happen after she tied up every loose knot.

---

 

Crazy how time can fly.

 

Siyeon, Jiu and Yoohyeon had to get up extra early this morning to finish the last phase of their hair styles before the jacket filming today. As she sat under the hair dryer with her entire head covered in folded aluminium foil, Siyeon had a hard time keeping her eyes open. The white noise that the dryer was giving all consuming and willing her to fall asleep despite the open magazine she had on her lap. Though she could only barely hear Yoohyeon talking at top volume over the loud hum, she couldn’t make out any of the words specifically.

 

She locked eyes with Jiu in the mirror, who looked just as tired as she was. She raised an eyebrow playfully anyay.

 

There had been no repercussions due to Jiu’s drunk behavior, not that Siyeon had really expected any. Their understanding with one another was solid and Siyeon trusted that it would always be.

 

Siyeon crossed her eyes back at Jiu and she smiled before the hair stylist came to collect her.

 

Siyeon alone was left under the dryer. She closed her eyes for what only seemed like a second, and then she felt the dryer being pulled away and the stylist checking her foils before starting to remove them completely.

 

Siyeon dazedly followed her to a different chair where she could lay her head in the sink. The water actually succeeded in waking her up just enough to be aware of her surroundings when she sat back up.

 

Glancing around she smiled seeing Jiu and Yoohyeon with almost the same shade of red hair. Siyeon had always thought that the girls suited that color the best.

 

Her own hair was in a towel and the stylist turned her seat around before removing it to begin blowing it out. The blow dryer muted the world again and Siyeon felt herself drop out once more.

 

She heard the blow dryer go off and opened her eyes to find herself surrounded by redheads.

 

Jiu was wearing a particularly broad smile.

 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you look like this.”

 

“Minx.” Yoohyeon nodded. “But even then she looked different before.”

 

“Her face was a lot rounder before. She still had baby fat, remember?” Jiu turned to Yoohyeon.

 

“You're done.” The stylist said.

 

Siyeon got to her feet and immediately turned for the mirror.

 

The girls were right, it was almost the exact shade of blonde she wore before.

 

Siyeon always liked being blonde, even if she could never keep it for too long without it becoming damaged. She ran a hand through it, smiling satisfiedly.

 

“We have to leave now to make it to the shoot on time.” Their manager said.

 

Siyeon gathered her things and endured all of the quippy commentary during the ride without biting back at all. The truth of it was that Siyeon always felt much lighter after a drastic hairstyle change. Something as simple as seeing someone's eyes widening when they take in your new look for the first time, it was a confidence boost to Siyeon.

 

The attention she was receiving from Jiu and Yoohyeon now was but a fraction of that she would receive during the comeback from fans.

 

They went from the van directly into another chair where Siyeon would fight to stay awake and not move her face too much. The silver lining came only when the makeup artist informed her that coffee was on the way.

 

Siyeon couldn’t stop thinking about Piri.

 

If there was ever a song that could be a call to wake up the Korean public and punish them for ignoring Dreamcatcher’s existence, it would be Piri, right?

 

Siyeon hadn’t felt this confident about a song before and as more and more of her face was put on by the makeup artist, she could feel herself becoming the part.

 

She finally got her coffee on the way to wardrobe. She met Yoohyeon there, who was already pulling on a blue pinstripe blazer dress.

 

Siyeon said nothing but opened her own garment bag, pulling off her own top to put the lace one she found inside.

 

After Siyeon was dressed, Yoohyeon decided to engage her.

 

“Wow, you look like a final boss.” She said.

 

Siyeon didn’t answer immediately because she didn’t quite understand what Yoohyeon was trying to say.

 

“I know someone that’s going to like this look on you.” Yoohyeon said.

 

Since the night that Dami made her dinner, there had been little time to spend together, much less go out to dinner. Despite this, Yoohyeon takes great joy in bringing it up whenever she has a chance. Siyeon seems to think it’s her only way to vent since, as Yoohyeon puts it, Siyeon is ‘all she talks about’ and Yoohyeon couldn’t be blamed for Siyeon finding out about it.

 

It didn’t bother Siyeon at all, but she didn’t engage the topic often since it was still more or less up in the air.

 

She opted instead to just smirk at Yoohyeon on her way to the studio.

 

Siyeon could see the flashes going off from the hallway leading up to the studio. Without talking to anyone she found a seat next to Handong, knowing she desperately needed to spend some quality time with her coffee before it was her turn.

 

Siyeon stared blankly at the person being photographed. It was Sua, and she did look amazing, but it didn’t have the same pull anymore. Since they’d just finished their world tour, there wasn’t a lot of time to speak to one another alone. Siyeon still received thirst pictures from Sua on a regular basis as well as promises of spending more time together once their lives retained some of the normalcy it used to have, but Siyeon was constantly distracted.

 

She now spent a lot of her time these days trying to muster the courage required to put her foot down and give Sua an ultimatum.

 

Catching herself in the mirror, Siyeon frowned. She didn’t want to play games anyway. She was a grown woman and a damn catch at that. If Sua wanted her, Siyeon deserved commitment..

 

She deserved just that much...at least.

 

Feeling eyes upon her, she glanced sideways to see Handong staring at her with a small smile.

 

“If it’s not me, it's you, isn’t it?” Handong asked, motioning to Siyeon’s hair.

 

Siyeon smiled back. “Someone has to stand out. You and I suit it well.”

 

“You look like..” Handong screwed up her face as she always did when she tried to remember a Korean word. “Gangster.”

 

“I look like a gangster?” Siyeon laughed.

 

“Like a bad guy.” Handong amended. “Uhh.. Villain? Villain.”

 

“Ahhh.” Siyeon nodded, this made more sense. “Really?”

 

“I would clutch my purse closer around you on the subway.” Handong said sagely.

 

Siyeon burst out laughing. Handong’s Korean was becoming so much better in such a short period of time. It often surprised Siyeon just how much she had learned.

 

Siyeon’s laughter was loud enough to catch Sua’s attention, who looked over a bit annoyed before turning her attention back to the camera.

 

“Seriously. I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.” Siyeon said to Handong, patting her shoulder affectionately.

 

“I don’t either, honestly.” Handong chuckled.

 

Siyeon leaned her head on Handong’s shoulder, still smiling.

 

Finally the coffee was taking it’s effect and Siyeon began taking in her surroundings more. The more she saw, the more she liked. The outfits looked really cool on everyone this comeback. Different, but still fitting a uniform of sorts.

 

The stylist came up behind her and began putting her hair into a ponytail. And that's when she spotted Dami in the opposite corner staring at her.

 

The younger girl’s first instinct made her look away, but a moment later she returned Siyeon’s gaze.

 

Siyeon smiled warmly at her hoping that she’d come join Handong and herself. Dami's large eyes oozed warmness and remained on Siyeon for a long while but she unfortunately stayed put.

 

It was a long uneventful day as photoshoots usually were.

 

Siyeon eventually got her time in front of the camera and really felt like she killed it. The photographer seemed happy with her anyway. She felt more eyes on her than usual, which meant that her hairstyle was serving its purpose.

 

Afterwards, Siyeon waited in front of the camera for the group shot while other girls were getting touched up.

 

 

“You look incredible.” A deep voice said behind her.

 

Siyeon turned to find Dami standing behind her. Her smile was big enough to stagger the younger girl.

 

“I mean, you always look great blond.” She continued.

 

“You look incredible too.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami scratched her neck. “I would have liked to have done something to my hair too.”

 

“You know what I’ve always thought?” Siyeon asked.

 

Jiu and Gahyeon noisily made their way onto the shoot location.

 

“I’ve always thought you’d look amazing with a short cut.” Siyeon said.

 

“I just had one.” Dami said.

 

“No, shorter.” Siyeon said, reaching a hand out to put her finger about an inch below Dami’s ear. “Like, right around here.”

 

Dami’s flesh flushed noticeably at the contact.

 

Siyeon turned to find Jiu watching. She could see Yoohyeon rush up from the distance looking as though she was disappointed that she just missed something important.

 

“Don’t you think?” Siyeon asked Jiu.

 

Jiu’s eyes went from Dami and back to Siyeon with a smile. “It would look cute.”

 

“And then when you dance, your hair flies everywhere. Fans love that.” Siyeon said.

 

Dami smiled.

 

“Okay let’s go.” The photographer called.

 

The girls formed a line in front of the camera and continued to wait.

 

Sua was the last to arrive, squeezing in between Dami and Siyeon to stand next to Siyeon.

 

“Wow.” Sua said in an undertone. “y white wolf.”

 

“More like yellow.” Siyeon smirked.

 

Then she felt the familiar small hand grip her backside.

 

When Siyeon glanced down at Sua, she could see a fire burning behind the girl’s eyes.

 

On the other side of Sua, Dami’s jaw was set.