“Is everything you need ready?” My mother asked as she peaked her head through the door, holding a wooden spoon.

I dropped my bottom on the hard floor, grunting. Two of my three suitcase were opened right in front of me and I didn’t realise packing would be this hard. Or it could be that fact that I’m just really lazy, whatever. I was two hours into it and I already felt tired and exhausted. And there’s more to pack! I was not even close to finishing.

I rolled my eyes to her, turning my head as I muttered, “I’m tired.”

“Well, let me just finish what I’m cooking and I’ll help you out, okay?”

I didn’t answer that directly when I asked, “Where’s Aeron?”

“He’s in his bed, asleep.”

“Oh, okay.” I nodded my head.

“Give me ten minutes, gal. I’ll be back and will give you a hand.” My Mum decided.

I smiled appreciatively as she shook her head affectionately at me before moving back to the kitchen. Then, I picked my bum off the floor and started to reach for the other items that I intended to bring with me, continuing what I was doing. I just wanted it all finished as soon as I could so I could have my rest before leaving.

Ten minutes later, like my Mum said, came inside my room and started helping out. When she was busy, preoccupied organising my stuff in place, I was pondering whether to ask the question I’ve been meaning to ask since she permitted me to go and move in another city for my job.

I just graduated University and while I was looking for a place to work in, I got an offer from the same company I interned in. The offer was great, the income and the conditions, everything were more than I wanted. The only catch was that the position was only available in another office, which was three cities away from hometown. I talked to Mum about it. Of course, I wanted the job but at the same time, I didn’t want to leave her and Aeron alone.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my mother call my name. I turned to her and she asked me, “Are you okay?”

I hummed as an answer. She knew what that meant. She nodded her head side to side and was about to continue packing when I called for her attention. “Mum, are you sure you and Aeron are going to be okay?”

The worry in my voice must’ve been apparent when I saw how her expression changed. “Sweetie… we’re going to be okay.” She reassured.

“But please, if anything happens to Aeron, call me.”

“I will, love. I will.”

Aeron, my little brother, has down syndrome. He’s thirteen years old and a sweet, sweet brother. He’s the sunshine of our family, especially when Dad died of brain aneurysm. He was seven then, I was sixteen. I was devastated being a daddy’s girl but Aeron filled up that emptiness I had in my heart. He’s our family’s treasure. This was also one of the reasons why I was hesitant in taking up the job. I didn’t want to leave my brother but Mum urged me. She told me I had my own life to worry about too, that Aeron would be okay even if I’m a distance away. She told me he would understand and I knew that. My brother’s a smart boy.

With that assurance, Mum and I continued packing. We were getting by quicker having four hands and two minds working. I was organising my books inside a box when she asked a question.

“Are you not going to bring this?” I turned to her and she was holding a brown medium sized, double wall corrugated box with a lot of stuff inside.

I looked at her, and my exhausted self turned to being slightly withdrawn. I sighed heavily, “Mum…”

“I’m sorry, honey.” She said, putting the box over my bed. She touched the items, looking inside. “It just… it would be a waste to throw them away.”

“He left me, Mum.” I said like a reminder to her. My voice was actually soft than I expected. “And it’s not like he’s coming back. I don’t see the reason of keeping it.” I added, “Also, I’m moving to a different city. I want it to be an opportunity to start anew.”

“Sweetie…”

“Mum.” I was surprised at how soft my voice was. “He bought those and gave them to me because he had feelings for me and now, he doesn't. And it won’t be right to keep it especially when we’ve broken up.”

“How sure are you that Sehun doesn’t have feelings for you anymore?” My mum questioned and suddenly, it made me momentarily speechless.

“Then, he wouldn’t have left me.” I paused. “Or he would’ve come back. But he didn’t. And it’s okay. I just hope that wherever he is, he’s okay and that he’s happy.” I wished softly.

She smiled tightly as she asked, “What do you want me to do with these then?”

I bobbed my shoulders. “Just do whatever you want to do with it.” I bent over, picking up another two books, putting it inside the box. “I don’t mind.”

By how she sounded, it was quite obvious that Mum didn’t want to dump them so I just left the decision to hers. It didn’t matter to me either way, anyway.

Talking about him, I realised that there’s no bitterness lingering anymore. I was sure to myself that I’ve moved on. I was not hurting anymore but I guess, if there’s anything left, it’s just sadness and pity that things had to end and it had to be in the most disorienting way. I just wished that things could’ve ended between us in a better way and not like how it did. But other than that, I felt okay. Surprisingly, okay.

Couple minutes later, she asked again, “Are you going to bring that?”

Occupied, I turned towards the direction she pointed at. It’s Jiji, the thirty inch, off-white teddy bear I’ve loved snuggling with for more than six years now. Though, I got her with Sehun, I couldn’t bear to throw it away and abandon it. It wasn’t like he bought it for me, anyway. He just got it for me. Besides, it was too cuddly to do so and after all, Jiji caught all of my feelings and emotions ever since I got her. She caught all my tears instead of my pillows, and heard all my laughters and giggles whenever I was happy. Jiji also kept me warm at night whenever it got cold.

So, to answer my mother’s question, I nodded my head, “I’d forget anything but her.”

I saw her smile softly. “Okay.”

Half an hour later, we finished all the packing and I was set, ready to leave before noon tomorrow. Joonmyeon volunteered in fetching along with my stuff. I have about three big luggages with me, and two boxes— one large and the other mid-sized. It should fit in his car, putting some to the back and the others to his trunk.

I didn’t take my entire room with me because for one, I knew I was still going back here from time to time, anyway. And two, this was still my home over anything. This house witnessed my entire life, ever since I was born.

The next day, Aeron and Mum were by the gates while Joonmyeon’s car was idle. I bent over to caress my brother’s face and he laughed at it, liking the contact. “Be a good boy for big sis, okay?”

He grinned. “Yes. Take care, my girlfriend.”

I laughed. My baby brother was calling me his girlfriend now. Too adorable. “I’m Aeron’s girlfriend now?”

He nodded his head and answered with a sentence that caught me off guard. “Because Sehun isn’t here to be your boyfriend anymore.”

“Aw, my Aeron.” I kissed his forehead. “Okay, be big sis’s boyfriend, yeah?”

“Okay.” He hummed. “Only until Sehun comes back.”

I sighed. I wanted to tell him that he won’t be coming back anymore but I didn't want to dishearten my brother. And I knew if I did that, he would be heartbroken.

Aeron, over the years Sehun and I were in relationship, he had grown fond of him. In fact, they had grown fond of each other. Every time Sehun would come over, he would play with him while I was busy doing something else. Then, they would chat, sometimes, it would even be about trivial matters like Aeron’s crushes, which would make the younger boy blush or it would be about his favourite cars and his collections of it.

“I will miss you.” I told him and he giggled.

“Me too.”

I pressed my lips, swallowing my tears. While Mum was wearing this big grin on her face, excited for me. She was a lot… joyous which was nothing like I expected. I thought she’d be bawling— Well, she’d be tearing up that I’d be leaving far from her starting today but then again, Mum was never really the type to be emotional. She’s sweet, caring and affectionate but not really emotional.

Along with that, I also realised that another reason why she’s probably not emotional is because she’s assured that I’ll be okay and it’s not like we were living really far, far away from each other. Just a couple of hours drive but it’s better than a plane ride, right?

Placing the last box down on the glossy tile flooring, Joonmyeon groaned. I looked at him cheekily. His eyes narrowed at me as he called, “Dinner’s on you tonight.”

I nodded and held my thumb up. “Deal.”

He bended down again to pick up the box to place in my bedroom. Meanwhile, I dragged my luggages following him. I started to unpack and organise my new room that was surprisingly spacious. Though, Joonmyeon’s entire apartment is spacious, for someone living alone and only having two bedrooms. I placed Jiji safely on the bed.

“The sheets were changed yesterday.” He informed, while leaning against the wall, recovering from all the carrying he did.

I brought my suitcase over my bed and opened it, revealing all my clothes that were neatly packed. I rolled out my clothes and stack them together, turning to the built-in wardrobe. I slid it open, revealing it empty but clean without a speck of dust.

I eyed at him. “You got this entire room cleaned, didn’t you?”

“Did you want me to welcome you with your room unclean?” He returned the question with an eyebrow raised.

“I could’ve done it.”

He shook his head, not buying what I just said. “With your lazy , I don’t think so.”

I rolled my eyes at him and proceed with what I’ve been doing.

Joonmyeon and I were as good as twins when we were young. Although, he’s a few years older than I am, we were incredibly close and inseparable. Then, he had to go away for University. He became busy and me too but though we were not meeting as often, there’s really no gap between us. He’s as good as a sweet big brother to me.

“Do you need help?” He asked.

I hummed before rejecting the offer, “No, it’s fine.” I grabbed my handbag and stopped, realising something.

“What is it?” He asked.

“I think I left something in your car.” I continued to check my bag. My wallet. I must’ve forgotten to put it back in my bag when Joonmyeon and I stopped to buy some food along the way.

He stood on his feet and fished out his car key from his pocket. “Here.” He said, throwing it up in the air towards me. With my attention divided, I caught it. Just. “Get it. I’ll go and take a shower.”

I hummed and checked my bag one last time, just to make sure it wasn’t there. Just before my cousin left the sight, I called him. “What’s your passcode again?”

“5-3-8-2.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

He headed to his bedroom while I walked back down to the parking lot at the basement of the building. The lift dinged and had its door open. I stepped out, spotting Joonmyeon’s car straightaway. I clicked the car key for it open.

Opening the front passenger seat, I saw my wallet on the floor. I bend down to pick it up and shut it close, locking it. As I stood straight, I saw a familiar figure walking past, coming from the direction where the lifts were. He had his head down with a cap, scrolling through his phone, wearing a black parka jacket. The way he was walking, his stance, his physique were familiar, it reminded me of someone. His height too. It couldn’t be. I didn’t want to believe. Sehun wouldn’t be here.

My eyes followed him until he got on his car, the tinted windows made it difficult for me to confirm it. I shook my head as I repeated inside my head that Sehun couldn’t be here. It could be anyone but him.

I took a deep breath and walked back to the lift, with the sight earlier not leaving my head. My mind went black and entered the apartment in daze after keying the passcode.

“You okay?” Joonmyeon asked warily, concerned due to the expression I was wearing.

“Huh?” I snapped out of it. I cleared my throat. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

He bobbed his head. Just by his eyes, I knew he wasn’t convinced. His eyes travelled to the purse I was holding. “You got what you left?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I threw the car keys back at him. “Thanks. I thought you were going to take a shower?”

“I was about to shower. But someone called.”

“Ah, I see.” I smiled, rather awkwardly and went inside my bedroom.

I tried to keep away with the possibility of the man I saw earlier was my ex boyfriend as I continued to unpack, organising my wardrobe and decorated my room. It would be too much of a coincidence after all. And as I thought about it, wouldn’t it be awkward to have my ex boyfriend as my neighbour when all I wanted was to start anew?

It took me about four solid hours before I finally finished. Joonmyeon helped out a little bit (as much as I allowed him to) which was good because it did divert my thoughts. I changed my attire while he was out to attend a phone call. We decided to go out for dinner because none of us were willing to cook. We were too tired for it.

I was still doing my makeup in my vanity when he knocked at the door. Holding my eyebrow pencil in the air, I turned to him with an enquiring look.

“I’m going to drive out the basement parking.” He informed. “I’ll meet you in front of the building.”

“Yeah, okay.” I said and continued to apply the pencil, shaping my eyebrows.

It doesn’t take me long to finish my makeup as I kept it light, going for that natural look. I decided to keep my hair down that I got dyed brown with subtle gold highlights a week before. I was actually not bothered to tie it up anymore. I wore my beige trench coat over my white top, matching it with skinny denim jeans and sneakers. I slung my small purse over my shoulders, turning the lights off before heading out.

I opened the door, stepping out of the apartment with my head down. When I looked up though, I am stunned when I met the eyes of someone whom I never actually believed it'd be him. Sehun, my ex-boyfriend. He was wearing the same clothes I saw from the man earlier. I was right. It was indeed him.

Sehun looked surprised, probably a little more than I am. We called each other’s name in incredulity.

I gulped and looked down, making me the first person to break our locked gazes. When I lifted my head up again, I tried to give a smile but it was slightly smaller and tighter than I ought to.

My eyes travelled on his arm that was holding on the doorknob of the flat opposite to ours. No way. It wasn’t enough that Sehun and I were living on the same building, nor it was enough that our places are on the same floor and it had to be really in front of each other’s. I wondered what kind of fate game was that?

“You live here?” He asked, unable to mask his disbelief.

I felt my lips dry. “Yeah.” I answer. “I just moved in.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Just moved in?”

“Yeah, today.” I said. “I moved in with Joonmyeon.”

“Joonmyeon?” He repeated.

I nodded. I realised he doesn’t know him and he hasn’t met him. Well, when we were together. Sehun has met my family but never got the chance to meet my cousin. I wondered though, if they met already, being neighbours living exactly opposite to each other.

My answer was questioned when the cluelessness and confusion in his eyes remained. “He’s my cousin.” I explained.

He doesn’t say anything after that. He was probably registering my unexpected presence and this unforeseen situation for him. I didn’t say anything after either. We were just looking at each other, but I wasn’t looking at his eyes anymore. My heart pounded too hard when I did, probably because it’s been so long since I’ve last seen them.

The silence broke however when I heard and felt my phone vibrate inside my purse. I fished it out and saw it was my cousin calling. I’ve probably taken too long already.

“Yes?” I asked, upon answering. I kept my eyes on the floor, with my gaze that wasn’t fixed on one spot. It was just on the ground.

“Don’t tell me you’re still doing your makeup.” He said in apprehension.

I rolled my eyes although I was clearly aware he couldn’t see me. “No, I’m done. I’m actually out of the door now.”

“Okay good, because I’m starving already.”

I chuckled but bit it back, coming conscious of my ex boyfriend’s presence again. “Fine, fine. I’ll make my way down.” I said and we ended the call. My eyes turned back at Sehun. “Uh… I got to go.”

He nodded his head, his face straight. I felt like he wanted to say something but decided to keep it in.

“It was nice seeing you.” I added before walking towards the lift.

Sehun doesn’t say anything to that. I pressed the button to go down and kept my head down steady, not daring to look back at him and see his countenance. When the lift opened, I took a big step inside, and pressed the G button. The doors closed, and I breathed out the air I did not know I was holding.

Then, a smile formed in my lips. Seeing Sehun felt awkward but nice. Of course, it was awkward because it’s been so long since we last saw each other but it was really nice to see him. I meant what I said back there. He looked well, healthy and as beautiful as ever. The same time, I realised that the wounds he left me with were healed. The encounter with him was awkward but it didn’t hurt me. I didn’t feel hurt. I didn’t feel any pain. I was happy and relieved.

The next day, around noon, after I slept in, I decided to explore around the new neighbourhood. Joonmyeon was still deep asleep when I checked him so I didn’t bother waking him up to come with me. I took a shower, and dressed up with a simple outfit that matched the weather and the day’s temperature, which all took me an hour.

I picked up my phone and my wallet, not bothering to bring a bag. I scrolled through my phone to study the town’s map and have an actual location where I could start exploring. I slipped on my shoes and opened the door but closed it straightaway, remembering to ask my cousin if I could borrow his car.

I entered his room, not minding the noise that I was making. The sun was already brightly up and I could bet that the majority of the country was up but him. I removed the pillow on him and tapped his cheek, hoping to at least wake a part of him.

“Oi.” I called. He groaned and I rolled my eyes at him. “Joonmyeon.”

He opened his eyes, squinting it at me. “What?” He grumbled.

“Can I borrow your car? I want to wander around.” I told him.

He groaned again, putting the pillow back over his face. I was about to kick his bed when he pointed towards the bedside table on the other side. “Car keys are there. Top drawer.”

I grinned and walked towards to get a hold of the keys. Just as I got it in my hands, I heard him say, “Take care of my boy.”

“You’ve paid it complete already, didn’t you? You can just buy another if I scratch it.” I teased.

“Don’t you dare!” He warned and I laughed at his muffled voice. Of course, I was not going to do anything to the car. I didn’t have the money to pay him yet.

“Bye!” I yelled before shutting the door and headed out.

When I was out, I was startled by the voice that called my name. I tried to catch my breath and calm my rapid beating heart. I turned and saw Sehun leaning against the wall, next to the door through his apartment.

“Sehun.” I breathed out.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He apologised.

“No, no.” I said. “It’s fine. What’s up?” I looked at his posture when a thought came to me. Was he waiting? For who? For me? Tch. No way.

“I thought I was going to wait the entire day.” He then said, which literally just stopped my heart.

“You were waiting for me?” I asked just to clarify, assuming it was me would be a mistake.

He nodded his head. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Uh…” I started. “I thought of touring around, being in a new town and all.”

“Come.” He invited. I frowned. But Sehun knowing me inside out, he looked at me with an intense gaze. Or perhaps, it felt intense, just to me. “I’ll join you. I’ll be your tour guide.”

I hummed and warned. “I don’t have anything to pay you back with.”

“Your time.” He simply answered.

I stared at him, stupefied. “What?”

“Your time is enough.”

I didn’t say anything after that. This man, I swore, could still make my inside do flips. He still had the same effect on me, even after we broke up. I looked at him and attempted to refuse. “It’s fine though. Joonmyeon lended me his car.” I held up the car keys.

“Then, give it back.” He said as a simple solution. He looked at me, rather warily, “You’re not going to reject me, are you?”

Reject him? I kept silent.

He then rephrased what he said, like he really did make a mistake with his choice of wording. “I mean, you’re not going to reject my offer, right?”

I asked teasingly, “Can I refuse?”

He shook his head. “No.”

I sighed. “Okay.” I gave in. I pointed behind with my thumb over my shoulder, “Let me just give his keys back.”

He nodded.

I put in the passcode again and the door bleeped. I turned the knob and opened it, just as I stepped a foot in, I turned at him, “Do you want to come in?” I sensed his hesitance to nod so I suppressed a laugh that almost came with a snort. I bobbed my head inside. “Come in.”

I put my small purse on the hallway table and told Sehun to take a sit if he wanted but then he just remained standing. I shook my head. I knew he wasn’t really comfortable at these type of things, which took me back to that time when he first met my mother and that I was going to introduce him as my boyfriend.

The confident and informal Oh Sehun became a shy and formal one. It was funny because he didn’t even want to take a seat and just wanted to follow and cling around me. If my mother wasn’t so persistent in telling him to make himself feel at home, he wouldn’t have relaxed. To add to that fact, his anxiousness actually mollified when Aeron decided to entertain and chat with him. It made him completely forget about his anxiety and uneasiness.

“I’ll be quick.” I told him and entered my cousin’s room.

Joonmyeon’s body was spread throughout his large bed like someone is going to take the space. I smirked at the sight and walked to the side table where his keys were originally placed. I decided not to wake him up and just left a message on his phone. Once done, I made my exit and saw Sehun looking around.

“Have you met my cousin?” I asked.

He moved his head no. “But I’ve seen him around. Just that, we didn’t talk or introduced ourselves.”

“Ah.” I nodded. “Let’s go?”

He smiled.

“Where to, Mr Oh?”

“Anywhere you want.” He said. “My Queen.”

Geez, Oh Sehun still knew how to make my heart pound a little too hard inside my chest. His effect to me hadn’t changed a bit.