A lump formed in his throat as he struggled to answer that question. Being here now, he realized that he doesn’t really have any idea how to start and explain all of this to him. Or if maybe he should.

“Do you really want to know?” Taehyung asked. “It is hard not knowing but… you’re better off not aware of this.”

Seokjin’s eyebrows creased. “What do you mean?”

“Hyung…” He halted. That word came natural to him, an endearment he had come to love to call him but Seokjin doesn’t need to know. He shook his head. “This…” Taehyung waves his hand, “this life you’ve built here, this happiness… is what important. This is all we have dreamed back then. The past does not matter.”

For years, we only asked of this.

Seokjin fell silent for a moment and Taehyung could just stare at him helplessly. He wanted to crawl beside him again, and pressed his body into his. The ache of too much desire almost leaves him breathless. Those months of running away came to a halt when he found him and after this, if Seokjin may come to reject him, he doesn’t know where to go anymore. Taehyung felt lost.

After a while, Seokjin looked like he made a decision and stared back at him with determined eyes. “I want to know. I can’t be completely happy without knowing a part of myself. So please, Taehyung. I ask of you to tell me the truth.”

Taehyung’s heart broke at this sight and how once again, how he’ll shatter the path Seokjin had taken for himself. And no matter how hard he try to deny it, he wanted him to know and remember for in a slight chance, the memories they have shared would also come back.

It was selfish of him, he knows, but he still inhaled and cleared his throat. “Well then, let’s start this with once upon a time.” Taehyung managed to crack a smile before he continued. He wants to pretend that their story was once a very beautiful one and not just nightmares and darkness. “Once upon a time, there was a lovely lady living in a small town and everyone adored her. Men fell in love, from poor to the richest ones. Little did everyone know that the son of the richest and the most powerful man of the neighbor city was already seeing her and they were in love with each other. And little did everyone know… that she was a witch.”

Taehyung saw how Seokjin’s lips parted from shock and he smiled at him. “She was a talented and good witch, helping people from their sickness or asking the gods for bountiful harvest. The man was aware of this but he loved her so much for who she is. They were happy together for years, only them knowing the truth. But not until the man’s father discovered that his son is planning to go far away to live with her. He was worried that his only heir would be gone and marry a girl that is not his liking. So on one terrible night, he had ordered to burn her home.”

“She barely escaped the fire and ran away to another town.” Taehyung continued. “There she decided to settle and weeks passed, she discovered that she was carrying the child of the man she had truly loved. I was that child.” His voice broke and he felt Seokjin shifted in his seat to sit beside him, awkwardly pulling him into a half hug. Taehyung’s eyes automatically closed and tears started to ran through his cheeks. Not only from the pain but from the joy, comfort, the sense of belongingness, and different feelings he can’t identify just from that hug. That finally, finally, he’s there.

“She raised me as normal as she could but hiding the truth from me.” He continued. “But I was lonely, for I was forbidden to talk to other children. And then, you came.” Taehyung sobbed. A rush of memories seemed to feel like it happened just the day before. “You were almost dying when I found you on our doorstep. Mother tended on you until you were well enough to talk. I waited for you excitedly because you’ll be the first friend I’ll ever have. I waited and waited for weeks, too afraid you’ll be gone the second I lay my eyes away from you. But you opened your eyes and the first thing you’ve done is silently weep. You’ve said your mother was killed and told you to go to us. You said your name was Seokjin.” He felt him stiffened and Taehyung grabbed his shirt, afraid that he would pull away anytime. “Your mother had died because of the fire brought by the people of the town you’ve come to love, for she is like my Mother, a witch. They were in the same coven and had sworn to help people, and never to hurt them. For days, you never spoke again. But I waited and waited. I’ve read you stories and sing you a lot of songs. I was surprised when you chorused with me and you have such a wonderful voice. From that day, we are together. We are the best of friends. Mother had allowed us to play with the other children but most of the time, it was only us.”

From there, Taehyung carefully said his next words.

“But then, one night, the town’s people discovered the secret we have always hidden. She told us to run and pushed us to the forest while she stayed at the house. From far away, I could hear her screams and see our burning house. It was…” he swallowed, “painful. But still, we ran until our legs hurt, and ran, and ran. We have found another town, and we lived as quietly as we could for a year. But fate never seems to side with us when those people still tried to kill us. And then you told me to run away, too. You and mother saved me and sacrificed yourselves just for me to live. I have never understand that. We’re supposed to be together. But you… you’ve cut the bridge and you fell into the water. I thought you were dead.” He whispered.

No one talked then after a while and he could just hear their labored breathes from those overwhelming feelings. Taehyung was contented to be enveloped in Seokjin’s arms. He felt safe just like he had always been.

An hour passed but it only felt like minutes to Taehyung when Seokjin reluctantly let go of him. He just sighed and ignores the feeling of emptiness and another longing for him. “It’s hard to believe.” He said after a while.

A protest was about to escape on Taehyung when Seokjin talked again. “But I will believe that because somehow, I trust you. It really feels like I’ve known you for a very long time.”

“Thank you.” He quietly mumbled.

Seokjin smiled at him. “I can’t remember it all, but perhaps the memories that already came back to me were enough. I don’t know when will all of it come back but your honesty had been a really great help so I want to thank you, too.”

He nodded.

“Maybe someday, my past will haunt me back, but until then, I’ll continue to live a normal life here. I survived for a reason. I was really happy on my time here. And you know the best part?”

Taehyung smiles. “What?”

“I actually found my love here.”

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA