hi! i updated really late, didn't I? sorry! kkk

“Sorry?”

Taehyung’s hands tremble and he had to grip them tight just not to drag Seokjin to himself and hug him because this is Seokjin, his hyung, his love. And yet when he searched for some recognition in his eyes, there is none.

“Seokjin…” He repeated. He have to make sure, for the only thing he had been praying for nights were now in his grasp. It doesn’t matter how, or even if Seokjin doesn’t remember him because the most important thing is he’s alive and smiling back at him.

Oh, God. Taehyung called. It was like all of his dark past faded into somewhere and there was nothing more perfect than being there right now.

Confusion showed in Seokjin’s face and his bright smile earlier turned into awkward before it felt like something dawned on him. “Uhm… Do you know me?”

“You’re Seokjin.” He dumbly muttered as he continued to stare at him.

Seokjin gave a nervous chuckle and scratched at the back of his head. “Uhm…” His voice trailed and looked at him questioningly for a while before he realized what he was asking.

“Taehyung…” He answered.

“Taehyung…” His name rolled on his lips and he almost cried. Seokjin continued. “The name Seokjin seems familiar and it seems like somehow, that is my name but people here call me Haneul. I’m not entirely sure if…” Seokjin then went to a deep thought without finishing his sentence that Taehyung was sure that he had forgotten he’s there. But then Seokjin leaned to him and Taehyung shivered lightly at the extremity of their faces. He was still the most beautiful man he had ever known. “I’m not really allowed to talk too much on work so if it isn’t too much of a bother, we could talk later? If that’s… okay. You are the first person who seemed to recognize me so I really want to ask you about a lot of things I don’t understand.”

Taehyung stopped himself from grinning and beaming at him because he was too happy he feared that he looked nearly like a fool. But for the sake of making Seokjin comfortable and for him trust Taehyung again, he will keep those overwhelming feelings for himself. “Okay.” He replied in a small voice that he was afraid Seokjin didn’t heard him.

But his bright smile returned and he straighten himself. “So, do you want to try the place’s special?”

Taehyung waited for Seokjin, even after the night had already fallen and people are retreating to their own home to make dinner for their families. But he stayed at his seat for hours because where would he even go besides the lodge? Seokjin is here and Seokjin is his home.

He smiled at that thought.

Continuing to write on his journal about his everyday travel, he happily narrated how he ended in a small and unknown town and unbelievingly finding the person he had longed for the most. He had thought that night was the end of everything. He struggled to survive for his blind faith that Seokjin will definitely come back for him. And he did.

He was thankful that the owners were nice enough to let him stay inside. Or maybe because Seokjin asked for him to stay. Either way, he got to watch Seokjin from the corner of his eyes as he talked to other customers or even disappear at the kitchen. He smiled fondly at the memory of him cooking. Seokjin was a really great cook even then and if they aren’t eating together outside, he would cook for the both of them and Taehyung would watch silently in his side.

His eyes flew to Seokjin when he heard him waved his goodbyes to the owners and Taehyung hurriedly closed his journal and placed them back in his bag, almost dropping them to his haste. His heart was hammering again in his chest and warmth spreads in his whole body.

“Ready?”

He nodded and rose up, keeping his pace beside Seokjin. He can’t actually believe that this is happening, he was again at his side, that there is a chance for them to be together again. “Uhm… Seokjin…”

They both slowed down but continued walking. “Hmm?”

“Can we talk somewhere no one would hear us?”

At that question, Seokjin stopped and stared at him for a while. “Why?”

“Just… please?” He begged because he just can’t risk this all again. He had waited for months to see him again. Taehyung didn’t even imagine in a hundred years that he will.

Thankfully, Seokjin seemed to understand his apprehension and nodded towards a secluded road. “Let’s go here.”

They shortly took a trek up high and passed a cluster of trees. The path ended up near a cliff, the cold night breeze was biting in his cheeks. The moon were illuminating the place and they both sat down at the rocks scattered at the wet grass. Silence governs them for a while before Seokjin decides to break it.

“This is my sacred place.” he whispers, “I always go here when bits and pieces of memories were coming back to me. Sadly, they don’t even make sense. Not until I saw you.”

Taehyung inhaled sharply and turned towards him.

He continued. “Are you a childhood friend?”

Pain racked his chest. And more. His heart screams to say. But he didn’t. “Yeah.” He lied briefly.

Seokjin chuckles. “You know, in some of my memories, I see this really cute kid playing and running after butterflies, sometimes he’s crying, and somehow, there is a warm feeling when he does this really cute box shaped grin. There some similarities between you two...”

He swallowed and willed himself to nod. “Yeah, I’m that kid.” Then he showed him that smile he was talking about and Seokjin looks amused that he actually stared at him for a while as if memorizing his face.

“Was that all?” Taehyung asked in a while. 

Seokjin looks away. “There are fires, and screams. I remembered running, I remembered being scared. I remembered pain.” Seokjin shook his head as if to forget the nightmares. It was agonizing seeing him hunched and broken and lost. Was it too selfish of Taehyung to ask for Seokjin to be alive when all life brings him is pain? Is it really wise for him to bring back the past and tell him what they really are? Can he really shatter the life Seokjin is living now just for him to come back?

Should he really remind him that once, they loved each other?

Seokjin broke his thoughts. “Will you tell me?”

eh. idk why i have to cut it here but... yeah. and Haneul means Heavenly. yep.