I got pushed in to the apartment, then my body being pushed up on the door closing it. Then the next thing I felt was her arms wrapped around my neck then me feeling something warm and soft on my lips. We soon begin to get more in to the kiss , where that lead her to over my bottom lip which I let her have access. My eyes poked out in shock. I was maybe thinking she was on a sugar rush but that wasn't the case. She soon begin to move and walk to her room with her arms wrapped over my neck. Kicking the door open and throwing me on the bed. She got on top of me and begin kissing me. I soon threw her over so that now I was over her, I begin tracing and leaving hickeys up and down her neck marking her. I soon thought to myself this is getting out of hand. In the midst of her grabbing my neck for more I put my hand up.

"Stop" I said to her, while she looks at me like I'm out of my mind.

"What do you mean,  isn't this what u wanted" she said but I moved off of her sitting with my back towards her.

"No, if you don't want it then I'm not gonna force you and since when have u been in the closet?"i say shocked looking back at what just went on.

"I've been a lesbian ever since I was young, i just don't tell people who have no interest in the community or me" she says moving next to me.

"I Don't know how I feel about you to be honest, it's like one minute I like you then the next I don't " I say not looking at her playing with my fingers.

"Why? Why do you say that"she says putting her head on her hands moving her other hand as well.

" I'm sorry i just don't feel it" i say lying straight through my teeth.

"your lying to me, i know you are but you know what fine just leave because i don't have feelings for you" she said getting up turning to look at me.

" Oh. so you don't after all that you just did with me?" i say getting up looking at her.

" I only did it because i've been going through a lot lately-" i cut her off.

" and im not going through anything?look I might seem happy but I'm not" I shook my head leaving the room and out in to the living room. She soon follows me with the hearing of her feet stomping the ground.

"You know what I'm done with you just get out of my sight"

"After all I've done for you, I saved your ing life for Christ sakes and this is how you treat me because you can't accept reality and deal with it!" I say with rage walking to the door then closing it with all my might. I was ing pissed I mean I know what I said was confusing but you don't have to get a attitude about one thing just because of what's going on in the real world that your just trying to escape.

"The ing audacity" i said shaking my head in the elevator. I decided to call woobin oops and tell him I was coming in late so leave the keys under the carpet. I got in my car and headed to the place I dreaded which was the bar. I was gonna go get wasted that's for sure. Most of the time when I'm upset I go and drink all night.

I soon arrived at the barstorming in to the club asking for a drink.

"Give me ur strongest please" I said with no emotion on my face. I soon got my drink and begin swallowing the burning sensation that never left my throat. I begin to get more and more probably this is my 5th drink of a shot.

"Miss this is ur 10th shot" said the worried bartender. I wasn't even in my right mind to process what he said so, I just ignored him. I looked in to the crowd to see a beautiful Korean girl telling me to come her way. I at first didn't go but I was under the influence and man I didn't care the girl that I wanted didn't want me at all. I went over and sat in the booth with her. Her name was eun ji and she was a model at a famous company. I guessed where I seen her at.

" so, you wanna go somewhere else comfortable and not all this noise around us?" She says and i know what she was asking for and at the same time we were both in the same boat of confusin,pain and lust at that. We soon drove to her place and the night was something I need and what we both needed at that and I was completely fine with it.

I woke up wondering where I was until I had remembered and turn my head to see eun ji knocked out on my stomach. I then felt a hangover coming on and hurried and sat her head on the bed rushing to the toilet throwing up. I sat by the toilet seat with my head in my hands gliding them through my hair.  I mean I was a ing mess and I can't believe it's because of one person on my mind, park shin hye . I heard footsteps of someone assuming it would only be eun ji. She came over and rubbed my back while I cried and she held me like she was never letting go. I found out a lot about her she wasn't a person who went around, she told me of how she went through a life of a drug addicted mother and became who she is today and she went through a lot. She became my friend that night besides what went on between us, it felt like we knew each other for 10 years.

We both fixed ourselves up and headed to the kitchen and ate breakfast then headed to her living room to chill out for the rest of the day. I checked my phone and seen 20 text messages and 10 phone calls from my co workers , woobin oopa and the last person who I least expected to call was shin hye. I decided to just talk to woobin oopa knowing I will get a whole lecture when I'm a grown woman. I soon left leaving and exchanging numbers from each other giving her a hug and peck on the lips. We were just something but I had no feelings for her even maybe a little but not that much. 

I soon left and arrived at the apartment around 6 only to see woobin and shin hye. They both got up must hearing me come in.

"Yah!, where have you been huh? We called and left messages for you and you didn't even give a care to respond"he said  yelling and Pointing at me but I ignored him turning to her.

"What are you here for?" I say with no emotion.

" I was worriedsick"she said.

"Well then maybe you shouldn't made me feel that way" she looks to woobin and all he does is puts his hands up saying "I already know and it's not my business" he said leaving the living room and out the door. It was around 7 pm and she still was here for some reason.

"Yah," she came in while I was texting my boo eun ji from earlier. She pushed my shoulder repeatedly until I got up looking at her.

"Yah, what do you want and why are you still here" I say with as much attitude as possible. Iturned around as she followed me in to the kitchen continuing her rant.

"So, now you wanna know"i said.