Deep down inside, his heart twisted with sorrow and loneliness. 

He wanted to cut the distance and kiss his lips until both were dizzy, hands roaming passionate bodies and trembling hearts becoming one.

He wanted so many things that only his heart desired, the other heart laughed and mocked him, wasn't he enough?

He would laugh and guide him through his heart query, smiling he promised him he wasn't far away from the core, from loving him.

Was it true, Yixing-ah?

But his eyes weren't on him anymore, his lips didn't brush his ear when close anymore, his touch didn't linger in his arms anymore... was he too dumb?

Blame him for falling in love with false promises and a broken angel that could only cause pain because that was all Yixing was: a beautiful angel of pain.

Kyungsoo still smiled and lingered around Yixing because his mind wouldn't follow his heart anymore or was him not following his mind?

He lost himself in his silent pleas and longing hands, his body trying to reach out and make him stay but his body wouldn't move anymore... his energy falling behind his desires, was it time to give up? 

After years of lying and slowly accepting his unrequited love, he was fine. He was okay with Yixing not only smiling at him but at others, especially the one with a cute smile and tan skin. He was fine because he had moved on, he had overcome his desires and he had learned to love himself. Maybe love wasn't for him.

But he was so so wrong. 

Kyungsoo hated Christmas, people were too loud and his house too quiet but it seemed this Christmas was different. Next, to his apartment, a new person had arrived and Kyungsoo as a good neighbor, he prepared some food and went to give it to his new neighbor. But he wasn't prepared for the image (or person) that greeted him.

A cat-like smile and sharp but soft eyes welcomed him, warming his heart instantly.

"Oh hey, I'm Kim Jongdae and I would love to eat whatever you brought me."

Deep down inside, his heart swelled with love and warmness. 

The distance wasn't even there anymore and kissing his lips until both were dizzy every day was his only motivation, hands roaming loved bodies and trembling hearts beating to the same song. 

He got so many things his heart could only dream of, his angel now was an angel of love. 

His eyes could only see him, smiling and giggling next to him. Sharing the bed and singing lullabies for him. He was enough.

Even if he lost himself in a river of never-ending doubt and hate, Jongdae would come and kiss him until he felt better, his soothing voice and warms hands pacifying his wildly beating heart.

Kyungsoo really hated Christmas, people were too loud but his house wasn't too quiet anymore instead it was filled with laughter and soft singing because Jongdae was there for him and only him.

"Hey, Soo, would you marry me?" and he smiled because, for the first time, he was following both his heart and mind.

Maybe Christmas wasn't that bad, Kyungsoo gleefully concluded staring at his ring.