“To be honest… my marriage… it wasn’t at all what I expected.”

“It never is.”

“I… I didn’t expect it to be this hard.”

A pause.

“Sometimes... I wonder if it's better for Woohyun if we just... end it."

 

 

Woohyun slowly opened his eyes, the remnants of the memory still fresh in his mind, even if several days had passed since then. He had gotten a sufficient amount of sleep and yet, he still felt sluggish, like there was a heavy weight on his shoulders, bringing him down to the ground.

He laid in bed for a few moments, allowing his vision to clear before rolling over. The other side was empty… as it always had been the last few days since their return from Gwangju.

Sunggyu had been getting up early the past couple of mornings to go to work and then coming back home late. Thus, it left Woohyun with no opportunity to make his bento lunch nor to apologize for their argument.

He knew Sunggyu had been ordering takeout for lunch every day. And every night, he was far too exhausted to have a proper conversation with Woohyun and would just immediately go to bed.

Woohyun knew that he was partly at fault. His feelings were a mess and hearing that short conversation between his husband and his husband’s cousin had stirred the pot of confusion inside him even more.

What he didn’t account for was how strongly Sunggyu had responded. He had never before shown Woohyun any ounce of anger or frustration since the beginning of their marriage before, and what happened in Gwangju was the first. He didn’t even know that the normally calm older man was capable of such an emotion.

The next day, on the drive back to Seoul, his husband had apologized for his behavior the previous night and promised that he would do better to make sure that Woohyun was comfortable.

He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

But the fool that he was, Woohyun couldn’t say a word of apology back for his own hurtful words. But, of course, being the kind husband he was, Sunggyu didn’t ask for it. In fact, he simply smiled (although it didn’t reach his eyes) and continued on as if nothing had happened.

Slowly, Woohyun reached out to run his hand all over the wrinkled sheets of his husband’s side of the bed. The sheets were cold, but they still smelt like him. He grabbed the pillow and hugged it to his chest.

If Woohyun was quite honest… he missed Sunggyu.

For along with waking up with the older not by his side, Woohyun’s husband had slowly stopped his affections. There were no more good morning or good night kisses. No more fleeting touches as they passed each other and no more random hugs or flirtatious words.

All that was left were Sunggyu’s small, kind smiles whenever their eyes met, and even then, Sunggyu’s eyes had lost their mischievous spark.

“I’m sorry,” Woohyun whispered to the pillow, wishing it was his husband who could hear his apology, instead.

 

---

 

I have no one to blame but myself

In your arms that protected me

I felt trapped in my life

Like a small and thin child

Stand by me

 

The last notes of the keyboard rung out in the small garage and for a moment, there was only silence. Not even Sungyeol’s heavy breathing disturbed the mood. The heavy melancholic feeling of the song was the only thing that was present.

Woohyun couldn’t sleep the night before while waiting for Sunggyu to come home, so he had written a song out of boredom. He decided to play it for the rest of The Chaser so they could figure out song arrangements and make adjustments and such.

It just made him feel worse, reminding him of his current predicament.

“So… what did you guys think?” he finally managed to ask.

The other three were looking at him with sympathy, and it only made him feel even more miserable. After all, he did spend the entire week lamenting to them.

“You have got to talk to that husband of yours,” said Kibum, finally. “Just saying, cause I felt like I’m the one who just got dumped… and I don’t even have a girlfriend!”

“I didn’t get dumped!” Woohyun defended. “We’re just… having a small dispute.” He pursed his lips. “Besides, it’s not like he can dump me. We’re married.”

“He can divorce you,” Myungsoo pointed out. Sungyeol elbowed him with a glare. The younger backtracked. “I… I mean… I’m sure he won’t, hyung.”

Too late. Woohyun was already thinking about it.

Divorce.

It meant not seeing Sunggyu’s face every day, his smile, that annoying smirk when he was teasing him, that affectionate look in his tiny brown eyes when he thought Woohyun wasn’t looking, his touch, his hugs, his kisses… Damnit!

His friends must have seen the distress on his face as they all gathered around him, patting his back in what they hoped was comforting.

“I messed up, guys,” he said in a low tone. “I don’t know how I can make it up to him. He's important to me and I... I don't want to lose him..."

A life without Sunggyu... it looked so bleak. He didn't like it.

Kibum flashed him a pointed look. “Woohyun… do you, by any chance… like Sunggyu-hyung?”

The singer froze.

It wasn’t the first time he had thought about it, if he was honest. He had wondered and pondered, but whenever he got close to the answer, he would suddenly shut the thought down.

“Do you love him?”

For if he found the answer, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be happy… or frightened.

So, he settled for answering, “I don’t know.”

It seemed like that was his usual answer to every question involving Sunggyu.

 

---

 

One night, a week later, Woohyun received a surprise.

Sunggyu was home early.

He greeted the older at the door, allowing himself a small smile as he welcomed his husband home.

“How was work?” he asked, following Sunggyu throughout the house and into their bedroom.

The older man looked worse for wear; the dark circles under his eyes were apparent and Woohyun could have sworn he was thinner. But, maybe that was because he hadn’t really looked at his husband properly in days.

“Long,” Sunggyu answered, as he tiredly undid his tie, his eyes lidded with fatigue. “Namu’s expansion to Japan depends on the success of this partnership project, so it's all hands on deck.”

Woohyun felt a twinge of guilt at that. Sunggyu was holding up his end of the business deal from their marriage and he was exhausted because of it.

“I was supposed to stay longer tonight, but Bora made me go home.”

The guilt was replaced by irritation and… maybe a little jealousy. He could even feel his right eye twitch.

But Sunggyu didn’t notice. He was too busy ing his shirt. Each release of a button revealed more smooth, pale skin and Woohyun couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

Sunggyu hadn’t touched him in so long, he was yearning for him. But… it was his fault that Sunggyu couldn’t even look at him now.

So he cleared his throat and turned away, instead. “Why don’t you take a shower?” he said, keeping his voice steady. “I’ll get dinner ready for you.”

“Thank you.”

Woohyun nodded and proceeded to head out of the bedroom.

“Woohyun.”

That voice halted him in his tracks and caused his heartbeat to increase in pace. He turned around, slowly.

“Yes?” He tried very hard not to make his voice sound hopeful.

Sunggyu smiled, slightly. “Do you have plans for Saturday night?”

Was Sunggyu asking him out on a date?

“No, I’m not doing anything.” He tried not to sound too eager.

“Then, do you…” Sunggyu cleared his throat. “I mean, you don’t have to, you’re absolutely not obligated to…”

Woohyun’s heart was pounding even more harshly against his rib cage now.

“… but there is a fundraising gala sponsored by one of Kim Food Corp’s partners. I’m wondering if you’d like to accompany me?”

Woohyun answered without hesitation. “Sure. Yeah. That sounds great!” He beamed.

His husband nodded. “Great.” He stood up. “I’ll go shower now.”

Woohyun nodded and waited until the bathroom door closed before doing a little happy dance.

It wasn’t a date, but he got to spend time with Sunggyu. Sure, it was probably a business thing and a media opportunity for the Nams and Kims, but at the moment, he didn’t care.

He was going to a party with Sunggyu!

 

---

 

He was right. It was more of a media opportunity for him and Sunggyu because as soon as the cameras were no longer on them, Sunggyu had gone off to chat with some business partners, leaving him at a table with a plate of food, a half-full glass of champagne, and his husband’s two best friends.

“Aww, don’t look so sad Woohyun-shii!”

Dongwoo was quite the character, Woohyun found. He had met him and his business partner Howon a few times before and the two’s opposite personalities never failed to astound Woohyun. They both owned a dance studio that trained future idols. Whereas the older Dongwoo was bright, enthusiastic, and child-like, Howon was calmer and more on the serious side with a few corny jokes to spare.

But, when side-by-side, they both fit each other like a puzzle piece.

Dongwoo continued to smile at him. “Gyugyu is always like this. Work, work, work.”

“He was like this back in high school too,” added Howon. “That’s just how he is. He’s gotten better when you two got married though.”

Woohyun started in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he stopped working on weekends, for one,” the other replied.

“And he actually took his vacation days!” piped Dongwoo. “He used to just take a day or two for holidays, but never a week off! You really are special!”

At that exclamation, Woohyun blushed, a little bit of pride blooming in his chest.

They chatted for a few minutes more, enjoying the light atmosphere and good food. But, somehow, he couldn’t help but wish that Sunggyu was there with them… with him.

It wasn’t sometime later that his husband finally returned to their table… with another man beside him.

Now, Woohyun wasn’t a jealous person. (Okay, he was, but his jealousy were usually warranted.)

But, this guy gave him the heebie-jeebies. He was tall, about the same height as Sunggyu, with dark hair parted on the right, sharp cat-like eyes, and the well-fitted formal suit he was wearing indicated a well-toned and muscled body.

In short, Woohyun felt like a kid next to him. And what was more was the large smile on Sunggyu’s face as he introduced the guy.

“Woohyun, this is Bang Yongguk. Yongguk, this is my husband, Nam Woohyun.”

The good-looking older man flashed the younger a smile before bowing and holding out a hand in greeting.

“Nice to meet you Nam-shii,” he said. “And may I be so bold as to say that you and Sunggyu-shii look very good together.”

Damnit, he was nice and had a handsome smile.

“Hey, Yongguk, what’s up?” Howon greeted.

“Looking good, man!” Dongwoo added.

Wait… they knew each other?!

Sunggyu must have seen the questioning look on his face so he proceeded to explain. “Yongguk is one of our project partners for Namu’s expansion. But, before that, we went to university together. I was a year ahead, but we had a few classes together.”

Yes, that made sense. But, how come Howon and Dongwoo seemed familiar with him too? As far as Woohyun knew, those two went to a performing arts college, not business school.

“It’s been a pleasure getting to work with Sunggyu-hyung again,” Yongguk said, flashing the older a wide, toothy smile as he placed an arm around his shoulders. “We haven’t done that since our project for Business Management and Entrepreneurship class!”

What was with that arm?! And what was with the "hyung"?!

Sunggyu laughed and Woohyun was almost startled to hear it. He hadn’t heard Sunggyu’s laugh in a while. He was a little annoyed that it wasn’t him who caused it.

“That was a fun class,” the older agreed.

They small-talked for a few more minutes before the two were off again to speak with other business associates.

Woohyun couldn’t stop watching them until they disappeared into the crowd.

“Wow, isn’t it cool that those two still keep in touch?” Howon stated, sounding impressed.

“Yeah, I don’t know too many people who are still friendly with their exes,” Dongwoo added. “I mean, I’m not!”

The two laughed, good-naturedly.

But, Woohyun froze in his seat.

Ex? Yongguk and Sunggyu were exes? Of course, he was aware that his husband had lovers. Heck, Woohyun, himself, had his fair share of boyfriends and girlfriends! So… this really shouldn’t have been a surprise.

Yet, the strange churning in his stomach wouldn’t go away.

“Woohyun? You okay?”

He blinked as Dongwoo’s words registered in his head. “Oh,” he simply said.

The dancing duo were now looking at him in worry. Perhaps he looked distressed on the outside as much as he felt on the inside.

“Hey, don’t sweat it about those two.” Howon’s voice was gentle and soothing. “That was a long time ago and it obviously didn’t work out. They’re just friends. Sunggyu is married to you now.”

Yeah… by force, but Woohyun decided to keep that thought to himself.

“Though we did seriously think those two were going to end up married,” Dongwoo said, absentmindedly.

Howon smacked him behind the head. The former was about to protest when he realized the repercussions of what he had just disclosed.

“But, yeah, they’re just friends now! Really! Just friends!”

But, the damage had been done. The thought now wouldn’t leave the younger’s head.

And thus, Woohyun was gloomy throughout the night. He perked up a little when Sunggyu returned to their table. But, then Yongguk joined them and he retreated back into his chaotic mind.

And as he watched the two hug goodbye at the end of the night, he could no longer find any appropriate words to describe the ty feeling surrounding him.

When he cuddled up to Sunggyu’s back that night, practically burying his face in between the older’s shoulder blades, his husband didn’t turn around to hold him in his arms, as he was wont to do. Thus, the ty feeling multiplied tenfold.

Yet, somehow, he felt like he had no one else to blame but himself.

 

---

 

It was on that one fateful day after the gala (about a week or so) that Sunggyu, once again, left too early for Woohyun to make him a bento box.

Instead of lamenting the fact, just like he did the last couple of weeks, he decided it was time to take initiative. He was still Kim Sunggyu’s husband and he would not shirk his responsibilities!

So, a determined Nam Woohyun put on his apron, whipped up a simple lunch of pasta and seasoned vegetables, arranged it neatly in a bento and wrapped it up, and journeyed to the Kim Food Corp. headquarters.

The receptionist greeted him, security made way for him, and staff left and right bowed to him.

It still left him feeling shy and flustered, especially when he looked so out of place in his hoodie, jeans, and sneakers. But, at least he got to take the private elevator up.

The receptionist had called ahead so when the elevator doors opened, Bora was there to greet him.

Although Woohyun had ashamedly been rather jealous of her, he also felt that he did owe her some gratitude. After all, she had been taking care of his husband these last few weeks when Woohyun couldn’t. So, he could be nice to her that day in thanks.

“He’s still in a meeting, but he will be done soon,” Bora told him as she led him towards Sunggyu’s office.

On the way, he caught a glimpse of his husband through the window of the occupied conference room. He looked so calm and confident as he spoke, yet Woohyun could see the dark bags under his eyes from so much work.

He hoped the lunch he brought would perk that corporate manager right up.

He didn’t have to wait too long when the door opened and Sunggyu entered his office… with Yongguk.

The two were laughing at something and didn’t notice him huddled on the chair by the office desk, his hands tightly clutching the red lunchbox.

When Sunggyu turned his head and saw him sitting there, the older froze, his mouth opening slightly in surprise.

“Woohyun,” he stated. “I didn’t know you were coming.” He turned and gestured to the other man behind him. “You remember Yongguk? We were about to go to lunch.”

Woohyun’s eye twitched at that.

Clearing his throat, the younger stood up and lifted his chin high. “Well, you’ve been leaving home early lately, so I never got to make you lunch. I don’t have class ‘til later so I thought I’d stop by and drop it off…” He hesitated before continuing, “I was hoping we could eat it together.”

At that, Sunggyu somehow looked ashamed.

Meanwhile, Yongguk looked from Sunggyu to Woohyun then back to Sunggyu with a sheepish look. “Ah, well, we don’t have to have lunch today, hyung,” he said. “We have a few more meetings after the one today, so we can always reschedule. Have lunch with your husband, yes? I’m going.”

With one last bow to both of them, Yongguk quickly left the office with a firm shut of the door behind him.

Silence and awkwardness hung in the air. Sunggyu was still standing by the door. Woohyun still clutched the lunch box in his hands.

For what felt like the longest time, neither made a move.

Honestly, the fact that Sunggyu was going to lunch with Yongguk, his ex-boyfriend, ignited the jealous fury inside Woohyun. Forget Bora, she was a woman which made her automatically not Sunggyu’s type.

But, Yongguk… Bang Freaking Yongguk was an ex-boyfriend who once upon a time, could have married Kim Sunggyu. They were both close in age, obviously good at business, and were close friends as can be.

Whereas Woohyun was… just Woohyun… A business college student who wanted to be a singer. The bratty husband of a man he could barely hug without blushing or even say…

“Woohyun?”

Sunggyu’s voice broke through the younger’s thoughts. The older was flashing him a worried look as he walked closer.

“Are you okay? You look rather red. And you're shaking. Do you have a fever?” He placed a hand on Woohyun’s forehead to feel. “Hmm… you seem to be fine. But, let me go ask Bora if she has any fever reducer-.”

“What’s Bang Yongguk to you?” Woohyun blurted out without thinking.

Sunggyu blinked in astonishment. “Um… Excuse me?”

But, Woohyun’s mouth wouldn’t stop moving on its own. “Does he like you?”

“Wait, what?”

“Do you like him?”

“Woohyun, calm down-.”

“Well, he can’t have you!”

The words echoed in the large chamber and Woohyun felt himself turning even redder. What was he saying?! Why couldn’t he stop talking?! God, he was embarrassing himself!

Sunggyu was looking at him weirdly now. “He… can’t have me?” he questioned, head tilted cutely to the side.

His tiny eyes were filled with amusement now as a smile played on his lips.

God, Woohyun missed that smile… He loved that smile…

There was a strange feeling taking over his body. He felt like he was drowning, but he didn’t want to swim up to the surface.

Looking at Sunggyu’s face, so sweet and gentle, his heart leaped. A million different thoughts were going through his mind, but one thing was evident.

He didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t want the reason he smiled and laughed to be someone else. He didn’t want to see someone else in his arms.

Sunggyu was his husband. His. And no one can change that, not even an ex-lover.

Making up his mind, Woohyun dropped the lunch box in his hands and grabbed fistfuls of Sunggyu’s suit jacket.

“I don’t care if he likes you or not! He can try to steal you away but there’s nothing he can do about it! It doesn’t… it doesn’t change the fact that you’re mine! You’re mine, got that?! And… I’m yours…”

Then, with unwavering strength, he pulled him down and crashed their lips together.

As he expected, Sunggyu’s lips ignited a fire within him as happiness flooded through his body, taking over his senses.

At first, there was no response. His husband’s lips stayed frozen and unmoving against his. But, Woohyun would be damned if he didn’t take that as a challenge. He had always gone after what he wanted and this was no different.

He wanted Sunggyu…

 

 

 

 

He loved Sunggyu…

As if he heard his thoughts, Sunggyu began to respond to the kiss, his hands coming up to rest on Woohyun’s waist and bring him closer.

Woohyun was hyperaware of the warmth against him as he felt his body shiver in pleasure. Sunggyu gently pushed him up against the edge of his office desk, lips never leaving his, devouring them like a hungry man.

Fingers loosened their hold on the suit jacket and traveled up a firm chest before finding a place behind a smooth neck, playing with the little hairs there.

The other pair of hands around a waist slowly snuck under a hoodie, past the hem of a t-shirt, before resting on smooth, warm skin.

They kissed until they were out of breath.

Woohyun felt Sunggyu pull away. Unintentionally, he made a small whine of protest.

Sunggyu chuckled. “Cute,” he stated before pressing his lips to Woohyun’s, this kiss more sweet and gentle.

Woohyun sighed, happily. At this point, he had thrown all his pride away. He was no longer ashamed to show how much he wanted his husband.

He no longer wanted to deny that he loved Sunggyu.

This time, it was Woohyun who broke the kiss, his nose brushing the older’s as he looked into his tiny brown eyes. The emotions he used to deny seeing – the sweet affection and love, they were all there.

How foolish was he to think that they were all lies?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Sunggyu smiled, gently. “What for?” he whispered back.

Woohyun rubbed their noses together and closed his eyes. “For denying that I love you.”

He opened his eyes. Sunggyu’s own eyes were wide in surprise.

“W-What?” the older stuttered.

It was amusing to see him like this. Sunggyu was always so composed and yet with a few words, Woohyun was able to make him stutter.

It was cute. His husband was cute.

“I love you,” he repeated, smiling. “I know I’m nothing compared to your previous lovers. But… Sunggyu… do you think you could love me? Foolish, bratty, little me?”

In response, Sunggyu smacked his , playfully. “Silly waifuu!” he laughed out loud before kissing Woohyun’s nose. “Are you an idiot?”

“Yes,” the younger answered without hesitation. “I am. A big one.”

He truly was. He was so caught up in his own insecurities and worries that he was blind… oh-so-blind to how much Sunggyu cared for him.

“I was scared,” he confessed. “I thought that if I got used to you caring about me so much that I’d come to expect it more and more… that one day, you'll tell me that none of it was real after all… that you might grow tired of me and let me go…”

Sunggyu was quiet for a minute, taking in his words.

“You heard, didn’t you?” he asked. “My conversation with Jaejoong-hyung. You heard me.”

Thinking back on how he eavesdropped on that conversation and then ensuing argument afterward, Woohyun felt shame taking over again.

Nonetheless, he nodded. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you at that time. I was… I was hurt and confused… I didn’t want you to give up on me.” His lips trembled; he knew he was about to cry but he had to hold it in. “But, instead, I made you give up on me.”

“So… you heard that part but you didn’t hear me say that I wasn’t giving up on you?”

Wait… what?

“I never wanted to give up on you, Woohyun. I have no plans to.”

Okay, looking back now, maybe he should have stayed longer to hear the rest of the conversation rather than just assuming and running away.

Now, he was just embarrassed.

“B-But… these last few weeks…”

Sunggyu chuckled as he wrapped the younger in his arms. “I’m sorry, I was being a little petty. I’ll confess, I was hurt too, so I thought I’d give you space. Were you hurt?”

Woohyun sniffled a little, willing the frustrated tears to stay in his eyes and not fall. “Yes. I was so sure you had given up on me. And that Yongguk was going to take my place.”

Sunggyu pulled back to look him in the face. “No one can replace you, waifuu. You’re mine and I’m yours… remember?” He sweetly pecked the younger’s lips. “I missed you."

Woohyun smiled in bliss. "I missed you too."

Sunggyu placed his hands on either side of the younger's cheeks, gently. "You're not nothing to me, Woohyun. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, I'm not letting you go. I love you, Woohyun… okay?”

Those three beautiful words were all that was needed for the tears to finally fall. Sunggyu wiped them all away, laughing as he did so.

And soon, they were kissing again, the lunch box forgotten on the floor.

When that love sprouted and grew in his heart, he didn’t know. Maybe he would think about it more at a later time. He and Sunggyu still had a lot to talk about. Both of them needed to figure out where this newly-acknowledged love will take them next.

But, for the moment, he was content to stay there, in his husband’s arms, accepting all the love he was willing to give and returning it with his own.

He wasn’t scared anymore.

 

---

 

A/N: Finally! Sheesh, Woohyun! Does it always have to take another person threatening to steal GyuGyu away to get you to your senses?!

For almost all the chapters, it had been Sunggyu doing all the work. Finally, it was Woohyun's turn and... he kinda at it? Lol, he let his emotions get in the way, but hey, it worked! Finally, you stubborn fool!

Anyway, I'm so sorry for the delay! I wanted to make this good, so I took my time to make sure it's of the best quality! There is only one chapter left!

Sad face.

But, again, thank you, guys, so much for your love and support for this story! I feel so lucky and blessed to have a group of people enjoy my writing and indulging my weird fantasies. Lol.

'Til the next one!