On Monday morning, Jisoo waited in the lobby for Sehun to arrive. She negligently glanced at a mirror and adjusted the lapels of her jacket. She didn't know what to say to him. She had spent all of Sunday mulling over what she knew and how she felt about it, and got nowhere. Too many unanswered questions to count. Sehun hadn't called either all weekend, which was somewhat of a relief, since she had nothing prepared. Even now, she couldn't find the right words to say the moment they saw each other again.

Sehun parked in front of her building. He sat back against his seat, his mind completely on other things. Waiting for her to come out was almost like torture. He'd missed her like hell. He couldn't remember ever spending 48 hours so miserably. Being in Hamdeok, surrounded by memories and promises that he'd buried in his mind, wanting so badly to forget them but being unable to, was tough.

He missed her voice. He missed her face. The stupid phone had to die out and he had to be stupid enough to not bring his charger, so he couldn't even flip up that phone and just look at her picture.

At the same time, even now he couldn't even come out of this depressed state. The guilt was there, hovering like an inescapable shroud. He watched as she walked out of her building, looking prim and proper as always and he badly wanted to hold her. But he felt like he had no right to do that, not when Minhee was so present in his mind.

When Jisoo sat on the passenger's seat, he started the car, buried in his own silence. And because he was too preoccupied in his own problems, he didn't notice the uneasiness in her eyes.

Ten minutes had gone by before her voice finally broke the tension. "How was the reunion?"

"It was fine." Lying like this was like poison. He hated himself for it. "How's the cold?"

"It's gone."

And the silence came looming over them again. The tension was increasing, filling up the small spaces of the car. But while both noticed it, neither could find any words to say. Upon arrival at the office parking lot, Jisoo quickly got out, didn't offer an excuse and practically ran into the building without him. He himself exited the car slowly and languidly.

Sehun stood by the car for a moment, finally realizing something was off with her. She hadn't been her usual self at all the entire ride. What was wrong with her? Why had she been so quiet?

When the possibility that she might have realized he had lied to her came at him like a lightning bolt, he swallowed. No, there was no way. If she did find out, that would be the end of them.

::::::::::

A day passed. While he still picked her up in the morning and dropped her off at night, it became harder and harder to be with her. Her silence, the sullenness in her eyes, and the way she avoided him however she could throughout the day were so undeniably obvious. He was such a damn coward, he couldn't even find the guts to ask her straight out what was going on with her. Dealing with his own problems and messy emotions made it easier to avoid the topic anyway.

He'd gone to Hamdeok and not once in the entire weekend did he step foot into the beach to go look for that damned letter. He didn't even get close. He ran away again, like always, as it was every time. Her parents had been accommodating and let him stay in their house, which made his trip back there a lot more painful to endure.

Knowing he had to go back there one more time and probably have to lie to Jisoo again was eating at him.

::::::::::

And the quieter the days got, the angrier she became. The self-pity was replaced entirely with livid anger. The same unanswered questions remained swirling in her head. How could he have lied so openly and easily in front of her face like that? The nerve of the jerk. And it wasn't just that he lied. He went back there. Why Hamdeok? Why go to the place where he and Minhee grew up together? Was the reason so bad, so unacceptable that she wouldn't be able to take it? Was that what he was thinking? It was so damn frustrating, so upsetting.

On Wednesday afternoon, Jisoo finally reached her breaking point when she caught a glimpse of Sehun sharing a laugh with a co-worker. Very literally she had broken the pencil she was holding in half. When the last person left the office, leaving the two of them alone, she finally found her legs and sauntered over to him. He looked up.

They stared at each other for a good ten seconds in silence. Then her words came in a low voice. "You lied."

He stood slowly, his heart racing rapidly. Really it was like his world was turning grey. How did she know? "How…"

"Does that matter?" She interrupted, her fists clenched against her sides. No longer able to keep it in, she demanded, "Why? At least have the decency to tell me."

He couldn't find the words at first. Still unable to recover from the very fact that she knew, he could only stare back at her.

"Answer me! Tell me right now you jerk. Stop staring at me like I'm the one who did something wrong here." She threw punches at him mindlessly.

He grabbed her wrists. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Bull. You're hurting me right now." She pulled her arms from his grip and raked a careless hand over her hair. "Why'd you go back there?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes dammit! I'm not in the mood for games, Sehun. Why would I ask if I didn't want to know?"

His eyes, intense and aloof, focused on her. It was almost like he'd distanced himself completely now. "I went back for Minhee. To be alone with her."

Her nerves shaking, she forced herself not to cower and cry, even when just as he said, it was painful to hear. She let out a shaky breath. "Why?"

He swore, curses running out of his mouth. Did she really want him to break her heart? Already looking at her now was heartbreaking. Why couldn't she see that he wanted to protect her from it all? He couldn't stop hurting her. Without the ability or strength to lie in front of her, he spoke with resignation. "My first love died four years ago Saturday. I was fifteen when I fell in love with her and she died after only seven years. Do you…" Sehun swallowed, feeling as though he was suffocating. "Do you get that? She was the first person I ever loved. The first time that happened to me, it was so damn blinding. I couldn't see anything else but her. I can't just forget about her because of you."

The first teardrop leaked out of the corner of her eye. Sehun caught it just before Jisoo hastily wiped it away, refusing to give in. "I never asked you to! I'm trying to understand-"

"You'll never get it." He turned away and began pacing in a sign of his own anxiety. He couldn't stop himself. Why was he doing this? Why was he purposely hurting her?

You know why, you bastard.

Before she got the chance to walk away, he was going to do it to her first. "You won't understand. You won't be able to accept that part of me."

She shook her head immediately, pulling him back so he could face her. "You're pushing me away right now. Stop it," she cried angrily. As they looked into each other's eyes, she could see the pain in his. His heart was hurting so much. Why was he even doing this? She grabbed the collar of his shirt and forcefully brought his face up to hers. "I may not have known you as long as Minhee did, but I know your heart. I know you care. I can see it. So why are you trying to hurt me, huh? Why are you doing this?"

The questions he was asking himself, she threw right back at him. He held her fisted hands and pried them off of his shirt. With his strength, he stepped back. Ashamed of himself, he looked away. "I told you before, Jisoo. I'm not your prince charming. I'm not the guy you're looking for. There's a part of me that will always be broken, no matter what you say or do. You'll never understand me."

She slapped him hard across the cheek. "You son of a . You want me to lean on you, but you won't lean on me. You're not even giving me a chance. You didn't want to hurt me? That's why you're keeping all this in because you don't want to hurt me? Then why am I hurting right now?" She took an instinctive step back. "When I told you I would be there for you as long as you needed me, I meant every word." She then turned and ran out on him. As she ran down the stairs, the anger was still on the surface. "Such a hypocrite. You liar."

But once she'd reached the outside of the building, Jisoo buried her face in her hands, all but falling into a ball of tears.

::::::::::

When she heard knocking at her front door, Jisoo opened it. Swollen, puffy red eyes greeted Irene. Her own heart breaking, she gathered Jisoo into her arms and lovingly rubbed her back. "It'll be okay …"

"He-he was so awful!" Jisoo cried, her voice muffled. "I hate him unnie. I hate him!"

"No you don't. He was just being a sorry- jerk, unfortunately."

When they sat on the couch, Jisoo furiously swiped at her eyes. "This is our first fight, you know. And it couldn't have been more terrible. I…I think I physica