Chapter 7: When you smile

Baekhyun

“Can’t you for once find a time that I’m not busy when you want to call me?”

Baekhyun snapped as he stood in front of the mirror, rushing to buttoning up his shirt and ran into the closet when he remembered he needed to get a pair of socks.

“When you’re not busy, I’m busy. I won’t have time.”

He stopped his tracks by the doorframe and watched his friend through the screen. Chanyeol had never changed. Just the same weird dork he had been associating with since university through the luck of rooming together.

“I’m seriously going to consider ignoring your call one of these days.”

“Hey! What did I do wrong? This friend here is trying to look after you.”

Baekhyun can’t help but chuckled a little at the frown on his friend’s face, clearly offended that he even thought of doing that to him. He grabbed the tablet from his bed and headed to the kitchen, putting it on the cabinet as he get himself a glass from one of the top shelf and took the orange juice from the fridge.

“Is that the pulp bursting in your mouth orange juice you talked about the other day?” Chanyeol commented as Baekhyun was pouring it into the glass.

He snickered at the words as he watched the orange liquid in the glass. “Yes, it is. It’s a good brand.” Someone had said.

“I can’t believe I would see a day that you have more than just milk as choices for breakfast. I can see a glimpse of hope that you’re going to make use of the coffee maker soon. I bet it’s getting dusty by now.”

“You’re worse than my mom, do you know that?”

Chanyeol ignored his response and continued. “I’m going to thank this person personally when I get back to Seoul for filling a load of grocery worth in your fridge.”

“I think most of it will only end up in the bin.”

“Ya! That’s not nice of you.” Chanyeol scolded. “Didn’t you love bacon, by the way? Just put a few strips on the pan and eat it. It’s not even that hard. If you’d hate to do it,” His lips slowly curl impishly. “you can always invite her to come over.”

Baekhyun stood up straight in front of the screen, one hand on his hip. “Are you for real?” he asked in disbelief.

“Did I just go a little overboard?”

“You kind of are.”

“I’m just saying,” Baekhyun looked away to put the glass in the sink. “that it wasn’t exactly wrong for you to live a little. Because honestly, you know it wasn’t exactly right to shut everything out right? At least that’s what I thought you were trying to do when you decided to finally get out of your apartment.”

Chanyeol then continued when he realized the look on Baekhyun’s face.“I might have seemed a bit insensitive but that’s because I know what’s playing in your head. You know that, right?”

“I know. I’m not mad.” He muttered as he took a long breath.

Chanyeol just shrugged. “I wouldn’t have cared anyway.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have answered your call.” He said, annoyed which only triggered more laughter from Chanyeol from the other side.

♦ ♦ ♦

Baekhyun always believed that once his day didn’t start off well, the whole day would turn out the same. That was why he found himself been running from one place to another every time and he put the whole blame on Chanyeol.

He knew time was ticking close to the time he needed to make it to the room to talk about the project he was assisting but his paces fell into slower speed as he saw somewhat a heavy vibe and a serious conversation between Areum and Junmyeon.

His eyebrows knitted together when Junmyeon began to hold Areum on the shoulder and bent to meet her eyes that were looking gloom. She almost look like she was on the verge of breaking down but Areum just shook her head and mustered a weak smile while muttering something to Junmyeon. When he saw that they were bidding goodbye with Junmyeon speaking as if reminding her of something funny that it made her playfully trying to smack him, Baekhyun’s step began moving thinking it was the right time to walk in.

Areum became aware of his presence as she heard his steps approaching her and so, she turned towards him with a smile as if anything that he had seen before had never happened. “You seem to have a busy day. You look like you’ve been running a lot. Are you okay, sunbae?”

“I guess you can say it like that.” He replied.

“What do you think of the project?” She asked as she followed after his steps. “About the improving financial services of low incomes families. I want to hear your opinion on it so that I could take a note. Being a final year is tough, really.” She sighed loudly. “I just wish I could graduate already. I really don’t know what you and Myeon are thinking to go for graduate school when all I want is to get this over with.”

And when Baekhyun turned his gaze onto her while she was ranting sourly, she just stopped and flashed him a bright wide smile.

Leaning his back against the hard concrete wall as he splayed his legs on the ground, he tilted his head up, watching the clear sky and moving clouds before the brightness made him shut his eyes and enjoyed the heat on his face.

Not even a meal could make him as calm as he was at the moment, that was why he’d rather spend the 30 minutes break he had, trying to coax his disturbed soul. Taking small, and slow draws of the cigarette, he felt a moment of bliss, the one thing he hardly ever feel.

In the midst of the peace he was enjoying out under the sun, he sat up straight when he heard the bang of the door from the entrance. He could have ignored because he didn’t care unless it was bothering him, yet he stood up and slowly taking steps to it. His feet stilled when he saw Areum standing by the balustrade looking far away.

She then closed her eyes, tilting her head up just like he had been doing earlier before she took a deep breath and brushed her face with her hands as she heaved a big exhale as if all the burdens were released with that one action.

“WHO SAID LIFE IS UNFAIR?” She yelled into the air. With a shaky tone, she continued, “BECAUSE LIFE IS SO FAIR THAT I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!” and she just sank down to the ground, her side resting against the concrete balustrade.

♦ ♦ ♦

“Here.”

Areum looked up to him questioningly as her gaze moved back and forth between the candy bar he was handing out to her to his stoic face.

“It was for the sandwich the other day.” He reasoned. “Today is the Tuesday’s Jajangmyeon special, right? Is it any good?” Baekhyun asked nonchalantly, even though he knew she has skipped her lunch today because he was there watching her slumping on the rooftop the whole time.

“The best.” She showed him a thumb’s up. When she saw how Baekhyun was still idling by her table, she asked, “Is there anything you’d like me to do, sunbae?”

That broke Baekhyun from his trance. “No.” He shook his head, flustered. “Like you said the other day, how you always need your stomach to be filled to focus on those mind blowing data and analysis, candy is a good alternative too. I usually need to keep my sugar level up to be focus.”

“Really? Thank you.” She wiggled the candy bar in her hold, indicating that she was thanking him for the thoughts. “I like anything sweet, honestly so, I’m sure I’ll eat it well.”

“O – kay.” Awkwardly stretching his arms out and slipped them into his back pockets and pulled them out again as he reached his table, he sat down while his sight fixed on Areum that had a soft curl carved on her face as she fiddle with the candy bar in her hands.

♦ ♦ ♦

Baekhyun watched the florist arranging the choices of flowers he picked earlier into a bouquet. He felt like a man trying to impress a girl on his first date, nervous if she would have liked it the way he wanted it to be.

But he always knew how Jiwoo would have reacted. He could imagined how bright her smile is, how pleased she would look as she took a sniff at the smells of the flowers and how she would have said, “You know how I love anything you get me. Thank you.”

His ringing phone surprised him and he pulled it out to see Jongdae displayed on his screen.

“Are you busy tonight?” Jongdae asked right away when the call was answered.

“No. Why?”

“Let’s get out and get a drink. It’s my treat. I’m an engaged man now!”

Baekhyun smiled at the announcement, happy for his friend even though the curl of his lips didn’t reach high. He didn’t know that his friend has gotten himself sorted out to get serious with his girlfriend.

“Congrats, man. I’m happy for you.”

“You would come, right?”

“Yeah, of course. There’s no way I’d missed that out. I want to hear everything.” Baekhyun replied and the line went on hold after that except he heard a faint “yeah” and shifting sound. He knew that was a hesitance from Jongdae because what kind of friend would that make Jongdae if he speak of his best day of his life to a sad friend like Baekhyun? It would be inconsiderate.

But they had no idea how inconsiderate they were being at treating him any different.

Baekhyun was contemplating on finding a quick excuse to come up and decline the invitation as he knew how his presence would probably bringing the atmosphere down later from the look of Jongdae’s cautious act around him. And it wasn’t the first time so he spoke, “But I might be a little late, if you don’t mind. I’m actually on my way to see Jiwoo now.”

“Is everything alright there?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun answered light-heartedly. “I just feel like seeing her.”

When he ended the call with Jongdae, he returned back into the shop to a smiling florist who has done with the flower arrangement. He paid for them and while waited for his change, the florist commented, “Is this for your girlfriend?”

Baekhyun just smiled weakly while shaking his head at the question. “It’s for my wife actually.”

“You must be newlyweds.”

And that only left a strain smile on his lips.

♦ ♦ ♦

A beautiful bouquet of flowers was placed next to the beautiful face that was blooming with smile.

He took a deep breath to contain himself. Just the fact at seeing Jiwoo’s picture, among these many individuals who had lost their lives made him welled up with tears. It was just a reminder that she was really gone.

“I’m not going to cry today. I won’t.” He spoke, more like reminding himself. “You’re doing well over there, right? It is a whole lot better than here, isn’t it? You aren’t hurting like how I’m hurting for missing you, right? You better not. Because you’ll only make me regret.

I miss you like crazy, Jiwoo. What should I do about it?” His lips began to tremble. “But rest assured, knowing you’re in a better place now, that’s what keeps me together. Because I love you so much.” He closed his eyes, head down as he was trying hard to hold in his tears.

If Jiwoo is here, that kind of thought played in his mind a lot. If Jiwoo was here, how devastating she would be to see him in such state because of her. If Jiwoo was here, he would’ve heard how she would reply to every I love you he would tell her. If only she was here.

When he decided to leave, he brought his heavy steps with one last look before he turned towards the exit. But the unexpected presence that stood at the side of the hallway astonished him. What is she doing here?

Areum, who was biting her bottom lip and frowning as if she was thinking of something so hard, completely drown in her own reverie made her didn’t ev