Chapter 14: True self

Baekhyun

Baekhyun was awaken with a sudden jolt. Not the ones like one would wake up to when he had a shocking nightmare, neither the one when one unexpectedly jolted awake after a nice dream. Even when he has spent a couple of days in the comfort of his own bed in Gangwon-do that he had long left, he still couldn’t help but flinched at the different kind of air he was inhaling, the different sight compared to the ones he used to in his apartment and also one more thing added to the list;

That sound of faraway chattering, yet it was still near enough like a company.

Wait, who else was in the house?

Instead of lingering for a few more minutes until the sleep washed away, Baekhyun got out of his bed and headed to the stairs, taking light steps until he reached close enough to where the voices came from.

His grandmother hasn’t gone senile, is she?, the thought crossed his mind in a beat before he recognized the owner of the other voice.

“Woah, Yerim must be right. She said you are a better cook than her grandmother.”

“My skills to Heein were just about the same. We grew up together doing this kind of thing all our life.” His grandmother replied. “Both of them are always like that whenever they meet. She always scolded her granddaughters when they’re near but when she’s all alone, she always speaks of them endearingly. They are the only thing she’ll ever talk about.”

“I can see that. Grandma Heein seems like the type of person who’s all tough outside but actually, really soft inside.”

Areum.

“You already figured that out after a day of staying?”

“It’s because I’m really good at observing people.”

Areum had said it mischievously and secretive, making the old woman smiled adoringly at the former’s antics. Baekhyun also ended up watching them warmly by leaning himself by the doorframe to the kitchen as both women were too busy in their own world to notice him. Areum was loyally standing by his grandmother’s side while his grandmother was busy stirring something before she took a spoonful and fed Areum for a feedback.

Looking so bright, Areum was impressed and voiced out her delight at the taste. “This is the best stew I’ve ever taste in my life, grandma.” She said, astounded. “Ah, homecooked meal is always the best. I went to many specialized restaurants but nothing could beat this. This is the best. Really.” She gave a thumb’s up with a beam. When his grandmother had gotten back focusing on her cooking, Areum was seen fidgeted before saying, “Oh by the way, about yesterday, I still feel really bad about what happened and I don’t how to make it up for it so, again I’m really sorry about it.”

Baekhyun’s grandmother hit her in the arm, surprising her. “Are you never going to let it go? How many times have I said it’s alright? It’s not like you did it on purpose.”

“Still…,” Areum trailed off. “You said it’s Hyun’s favourite.” Baekhyun flinched slightly in response to the nickname slipping off Areum’s lips. She had called him sunbae all this time that he never knew how did his name sounded like with her voice, it sounded so unusual. “You must have look forward to it.”

“When my grandma said it’s alright, she always means it.” Baekhyun finally interrupted them with a yawn, calling both heads to turn to him.

Areum sent him the widest smile, just as sunny as the sunshine outside. “Good morning!”

“Have you even brushed your teeth?” His grandmother scolded. “Look at your hair, you look like you just came straight out of bed.” She narrowed her eyes on him, making Areum giggled by her side.

“It looks cute, grandma.” Areum said while laughing, which even more indicated that he’s being made fun of.

He was somewhat embarrassed, with the way his grandmother was spoiling him by complaining how he never grew up despite he was 26 with a pat on his like a spoiled grandson he was but he couldn’t get himself worked up for that when Areum had looked that happy listening to it.

The weather’s great, grandma said as they had breakfast together despite Areum’s insistency saying that she shouldn’t stay over for too long when her intention coming over in the first place was to bring over some of vegetables from Yerim’s grandmother’s field behind the house. But in the end, she gave in when Baekhyun voiced out his insistence that she should stay, together with his grandmother to which Areum responded with slight reluctance, yet happily agreed regardless.

Being the talkative she was, she voiced out her thoughts of the small town, telling them about how everything look so new to her and she was going to make sure she’ll be able to explore the whole town before leaving and that was how the meal went with his grandmother being the proud Gangwon-do citizen boasting about the best thing there was in the province.

Baekhyun had a good feeling today was going to be a great day.

“Here you go.” He handed a popsicle he bought to Areum who was waiting outside the shop.

“Thanks.”

They had strolled around the area with no particular interesting place in mind, yet Areum looked please enough just by the sight of the traditional houses around and watching how the elders working on their daily routines. Baekhyun himself had long left the province to remember any memorable spots he used to favour but he was good enough to differentiate the type of crops that the locals were working on when they passed by one or the names of the mountain when they see from far.

And there were still some of people who knew his grandmother knew him well enough too, adoring the fact he’s a grownup man now.

“Your grandmother is really nice.” Areum spoke up some time along the way when they had started getting quiet. “She seems to adore you a lot. Everything that she says, there’s always you in the topic. Our Hyun ‘this’, our Hyun ‘that’. You must have been really close to her.”

“She only has two grandsons anyway, it’s not like she had much of a choice to speak of somebody else.” He shrugged.

“I figured Beom is your brother?”

“Yeah.”

Areum nodded in understanding when everything made perfect sense to her. She must have had listened to a lot of stories from his grandmother, without having any idea about who is who.

“So, how do you find Gangwon-do?” Baekhyun asked then.

“It’s a nice place. I’ve never been here before.” She answered him. “Honestly, I just came here because Yerim forced me to tag along because her parents decided to have a vacation on their own without her and her sisters. It was totally unplanned and I almost bailed out in the end but…” She released a please sigh. “ – here I am. I’m glad I get to be here.” She said as they have walked far enough to the traditional market and saw a group of people crowding the entrance. There seemed to be somewhat of a performance going on as they watched from far.

“I don’t usually agree whenever my friends offer me even when they insist their family invites me to. I know better they meant more than just some pity party but it’s just… scary sometimes, you know.”

She then confessed, “I’m scared of many things if you want to know. I’m neither strong nor optimist, that’s only how people view me. You were right, you’ve always guessed right I wonder if it’s because you’re just good at seeing people.”

Areum suddenly turned to face Baekhyun, surprising him slightly as his gaze had stilled on nothing but only her all the while. “You remember the first time we met? You thought I was a rebel who ran away from home. You told me that running away wouldn’t solve a problem and that it’ll only come right back at me? I couldn’t help it every time, it just seems like the easiest thing to do, always. Even right now, I’m doing it.”

“Because I’m always scared to confront my problem.” When she said that earnestly, Baekhyun swore he really could see fear in her eyes. “It’s always easier to convince that I’m doing fine by smiling than letting myself wallowing in pain. It’s always easier to be somewhere far away even if it’s meant that I can stop thinking of everything even for a short while.” A second after when the huge beat sound resounded through the area catching their attention, Areum just turned as if she hadn’t just let Baekhyun see another side of her. “I’d like to see what’s going on over there.” She said, hopeful.

Baekhyun wondered what she ran away from this time, but he thought it didn’t matter what she was battling with, he just really wanted to make it worth it for her for doing so.

Baekhyun had given up over fighting himself to stop acknowledging Areum could have meant something more than just a passer-by in his life.

As they fit themselves among the mass of locals who were fascinated by what was showing, Areum was tip toeing every now and then to have a better look. It seemed like with every oohs and aahs people were making, it was only making her more eager to watch, it was amusing.

He enveloped his hand over hers. “Let’s get ourselves to the front.” He said before he got them both a nice spot to get a better view, not realizing they let their hands tangled together for the whole performance.

They enjoyed the rest of the martial arts performance by the nearby academy, Areum watching it most of the time with a flinch and wide eyed, a complete fascination set in her face. She always knew how to make herself happy, Baekhyun was reminded of the times she told him that she was happy because she wanted to and not by just waiting for it to come. He admired her for that, but not like he’ll ever tell her that, it would be too embarrassing.

They walked the whole way through the market, looking over things with Baekhyun explaining to every stuff Areum was unfamiliar with, almost like a perfect tour guide for her. He did spend a little of his time when he was younger living with his grandmother.

“I stayed over with my grandmother a lot of times when my mom gets too busy with work after my parents split. Whenever Grandma talks about Beom, it’s because she misses him. Since Beom lives with my father, we didn’t see him much.”

“Until now?”

“Yeah, my father lives abroad. So, the last time we’ve seen each other, is it on his wedding?”

“He’s older, is he?”

Baekhyun nodded.

“Ah, so you have an older brother.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent with them getting to know each other more than ever before.

“So, you have a younger brother whose five years younger?”

Areum laughed at his mistake and nudged him at the same time. “Not five years younger. He’s five. A really cute boy.”

“Really?”

“We had different mother.”

Baekhyun didn’t remember the last time he had talked so much to a person, courtesy to the fact he was used to be alone at most times and also, he figured he had naturally become careful with words now when he was with his friends, afraid of making things all awkward. He was like a time bomb to them, one wrong move and it would explode.

He had never felt so free and being the most of himself in a long time.

Baekhyun then talked about Chanyeol – which Areum knew more as that friend who lives in New York – of his never-ending worries, and some nonsense act to make sure his friend was okay daily. Areum laughed all along at Baekhyun’s grunt over his friend updating his activity with in return asking Baekhyun back on how he was doing, thinking it was subt