“My mother. So what are you going to do to her?” Jongin teases, as he glances at Gaeul’s expression through the corner of his eyes.

“Keep your eyes on the road.” Gaeul growls, feeling tricked by Jongin. Of course she couldn’t do anything to his mother!

“It’s getting really hot outside; do you want me to lower the temperature?” Jongin asks, noticing the heat waves while driving on the highway.

Gaeul shakes her head. “Nah. Let me feel the summer heat. In the hospital it’s always the same temperature.”

“What’s your favourite season?” He asks.

A playful smile spreads across her face. “Autumn!” She yells gleefully. Just thinking about Autumn made her happy. The soft yet vibrant Autumn colors planted onto the trees lingered in her eyes. She could almost taste the season in the tip of her tongue as she embraced the vision of a warm yet cold weather. Autumn was a season of contradictions and juxtapositions that blended in together perfectly.

“Because it’s your name?”

She shakes her head. “Nope. Because Autumn signals a new beginning. It’s a season where the old and the dying are removed. It prepares for a new life, yet it holds on to the past. It’s when the opposites meet and create harmony,” she explains with joy as she imagines the red and brown leaves bristling away with the wind. “What’s your favorite season?”

           Jongin thinks for a second. “I like Winter. I like the cold weather and pure, white snow.” He replies as he envisions a Christmas morning where snow has filled a garden with white crystals. He loved the purity; the untouched snow.

“I was born in winter, so I was nearly named after Winter, but my mum’s favorite season was Autumn too.” Gaeul throws in a little fun fact about herself.

Jongin looks at Gaeul surprised. He was startled that Gaeul mentioned her mother, in fact, he thought that Gaeul never even spoke to her mother. She couldn’t have…her mother passed away while giving birth to her…

“Is your mother alive?” Jongin asks carefully.

Gaeul bites her bottom lip and shakes her head. “Nope. She died while giving birth to me. I actually went through a whole phase where I hated myself because I felt like I killed her…but she left me her diary. I spoke to her through the words she left me.”

Jongin is lost for words. He couldn’t find a suitable statement to say at this moment. What could possibly one say at the death of someone? Words empathizing were never meaningful anyway.

“Don’t worry, I’m totally fine now.” Gaeul forces a chuckle as she notices the heavy atmosphere in the car. Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned her mother right now.

“Have you ever wondered about your father?” Jongin asks with his voice soft and fragile. This question was like opening Pandora’s box…but right now, he felt obliged to tell her the truth. He didn’t exactly have a plan, but he wanted Gaeul to know the whole truth, because he had faith that she could fight through any obstacle and sadness.

 “Yes. He’s Chairman Son. I am Sohee’s half-sister.” Gaeul replies indifferently. Her eyes are fixed on the road, as her mind blanks out again. For a split second, she could tell Jongin was aware of this fact too.

Shocked at Gaeul’s understanding, Jongin pulls the car to a sudden stop. He quickly swivels the handle, and parks safely by the side of the road. “You knew??” He asks her in his utmost surprised face expression.

“You knew…?” Gaeul repeats after Jongin and her eyes widen with surprise too. “How do you know?” Gaeul demands as she realizes her split second gut feeling was true.  

Jongin’s lips part as he is startled by her confrontation. He takes a deep breath, and bites his bottom lip anxiously. “I knew, because Sohee told me…but how did you find out?”

Gaeul closes her eyes with regret. She exhales deeply and tries to organize her thoughts calmly. “My mother’s diary…she said my father was very nearby and he would protect me. For years I tried to track down every doctor in the hospital…but at Sohee’s wedding, I swore I heard Chairman Son call my name. I came back to the hospital and tracked my financial records, all pointing to Director Park’s account. I confronted Director Park, and he confessed, but told me to keep this secret to my grave.”

Jongin bangs his head onto the steering wheel. He felt stupid and hopeless.

“hey…none of this is your fault…” Gaeul speaks softly as she tries to calm him down. She didn’t know why Jongin was so upset, but he seemed beyond sad. He looked devastated and sorry…

Jongin raises his head and holds onto Gaeul’s cold hands. Was the complete truth necessary? Jongin asks himself once more, but decides that it was better to tell her everything now, then regret later.

“I became your doctor because Sohee wanted me to. She told me to approach you…and I did-“

Gaeul’s face darkens immediately. The moments of how Jongin stepped into her life breezes through her memories.

“You…approached me deliberately?” Gaeul asks, shaken by the thought that there was something greater behind his intentions.

Jongin opens his mouth to say something, but he stops. What was he going to say to this question? It was a simple yes or no. So he seals his mouth again and replies with a regretful nod.

Immediately, a small pain creeps into Gaeul’s heart, but spreads through her veins instantly. It wasn’t the pain that caused her heart to stop beating, but it was a pain caused by emotions, that hurt almost equally the same amount.

With tears swelling in her eyes, Gaeul tries to calm her vulnerable state of mind.

“Please…please don’t tell me you’re dating me because Sohee asked you too…” Gaeul pleads as she realizes his confession foreshadowed something unfortunate. All she could do was hope that he was with her because he wanted to be with her.

Jongin continues, “I approached you, and I started to see you as a patient. You made me realize that I was a doctor. As a doctor, I wanted to help you, but you also helped me realize that my love for Sohee was more of an obsession than love…so, that’s the complete truth.” Jongin explains slowly, annunciating each word clearly. He wanted to be honest with Gaeul and he felt like she was entitled to the complete truth as to why he first approached her. Nervous after his confession, Jongin looks up at Gaeul.

Gaeul’s tears dry up, and she blinks at a constant, almost robotic pace. Her emotion filled face has turned cold. She looks at him without much emotion. No tears, and no shouting. She was calm and gentle.

He waits for her to say something, but she just looks at him. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking and her emotionlessness was killing him. All he could was pray that she wouldn’t run away.

After a moment of silence, Gaeul opens to speak. “You probably parked in the middle of highway to stop me from running away…smart bum.” She mumbles as she looks out window and glances at the cars fiercely speeding on the highway. “I just want to know one thing.” She tells him, while keeping her eyes on the road.

Jongin waits anxiously for her to continue speaking.

“I want to know…if you’re here, next to me, because you want to be next to me. Or-“

“I swear, completely, that I am here next to you because I strongly desire to do so.” Jongin blurts out rapidly before Gaeul could even finish her sentence.

However, even with his honest confession, Gaeul is still avoiding his eyes as she stares outside the window.

Jongin sighs as he becomes worried that he just ruined their relationship, a relationship that barely had a chance to start.

“Then…I guess we can carry on with our lives. As she hopes never to see me, I wish to not see her either. Don’t mention her name in front of me, please.” Gaeul speaks softly. Her voice is quiet, but her words are strong and firm. A sister who hates me just for my existence…better not to think about her.

“I promise.”

Gaeul’s eyes restore its twinkle. But a sudden pain in her chest makes Gaeul clasp onto her heart. This time, it wasn’t a pain created but emotions, but a physical pain piercing into her heart. She winces at the pain and takes two deep breathes. Her fists clench into tight balls as the pain continues to penetrate throughout her body.

Jongin stares at Gaeul with bafflement. “Are you alright? Gaeul?! Answer me, are you ok?!” He asks her as he pulls his body close to her. He grabs onto her hand and tries to feel her heartbeat. But before he is able to, Gaeul pulls her wrist away.

“I’m fine. Just, just a little nervous. Got too excited.” She explains and pats her heart to calm the pain. Hoping the pain would disappear, Gaeul just continues to take deep breathes.

With a desperate attempt to seem fine, Gaeul gives her heart a good pat. “Take me to a theme park!!” Gaeul’s smile returns as she looks at Jongin again. Her eyes are sparkling with hope. With her smile, Jongin’s smile also returns.

“Are you really alright? You have to be-“

“I’m fine. I really want to see a theme park.” Gaeul cuts his sentence to reassure him. She didn’t want anything to go wrong today and no matter what, she was determined to have a proper date with Kim Jongin.

“Here, where this. It’s all about the theme park experience.” Gaeul tells him as she forces bunny ears onto Jongin.

He grunts as he sees his reflection on the mirror. “I don’t think we need this experience.”

However, Gaeul isn’t about to accept a ‘no’ to her experience. “In all the dramas, they always wear animal ears! We need share this experience.” She tells him fixedly, while making sure he keeps the ears sealed onto his head.

Jongin sighs and accepts to Gaeul’s ‘theme park experience’. After all, his mission today was to keep Gaeul happy and satisfied, so he was willing to listen to all of her demands. Reluctantly, he fixes the bunny ears on his head and looks at his reflection again. Good enough.

“Let’s take a pictureee!” Gaeul squeals with excitement as she pulls out her phone. Before he could hide, she snaps five pictures; Jongin with his bunny ears, and Gaeul with tiger ears. “Could you please force a smile? You look miserable.” Gaeul tells him as she looks through the photos of Jongin frowning. “Pretend you’re a happy bunny!” She advises.

Jongin shakes his head. “I’m next to a tiger, how can I be happy?”

“You’re next to a y tiger. Grrr-“

“Yup, you forgot to take your meds.” Jongin covers Gaeul’s mouth with his palm, and pays for the animal ears, then quickly drags her out of the store.

“What ride you do want to go on first?” Jongin asks as he looks around the theme park. It was a normal weekday, so there were less people which meant less waiting time for each ride. Technically, they could ride almost all the rides in this place if they chose too.

Gaeul looks at the map of the park and ponders for a second. “The Atlantis!!” She yells delighted.

Jongin nods and grabs onto Gaeul’s hand.

Immediately, Jongin and Gaeul both blush as the adrenaline rush surprises both of them. Electricity flows between them rapidly and Gaeul’s stomach is filled with butterflies. Jongin tries to ignore these signs as he holds onto her hand firmly.

He squeezes onto her hand tightly and walks towards the ride. Gaeul can’t help but smile as she stares at Jongin’s hand holding onto her. Their fingers were intertwined and his strong clasp onto her hands almost felt like he was going to be with her forever.

“Please read the precautions carefully. You cannot board on the ride if you are pregnant, less than 160cm tall, and if you have a weak heart.” The operator calls out to the people in the line.

Gaeul glances down her chest, at her softly beating heart. She sighs at the weakness and vulnerability she holds. For a moment, she thought running away from the hospital walls would allow her to be a normal person, but she was just reminded that no matter where she went, she would always be a patient.