Seungri walked with a lump in his throat, not wanting to look back at Jiyong, how easy had he given up? No thinking before accepting the president's request, his eyes burned, why did it have to be like this? He sigh trying to calm down, walking even more faster, without worrying about nothing, paying no attention to anything in particular, his heart beat, only that morning they had been together, only that morning Jiyong had made love to him... He was angry, was tired, Why her?

His mind was a tangle of thoughts, irrational, painful and treacherous, his worst fears were coming true, Jiyong was coming back with Kiko, Jiyong was changing him for her ... "No!" He screamed, stopping. He did not do it! He could not do it! Seungri had sacrificed so much to be with him, Jiyong had said that he loved him, their relationship was strong, right? It was not because he really wanted to be with her, he said, no, it was because the president was compelling, his rational part tried to dialogue, but Seungri did not want to listen, he was so disappointed ...

"Ri!" He hear the voice of his boyfriend? Lover? Leader? He didn't know anymore and the thud of his shoes as he hit the ground, indicating that he was running."Wait!" Jiyong managed to catch up, his breathing was agitated as he took the arm of Seungri, who did not look at the face, not yet "Listen me, yes? I do not want to do this, I do not want to lie to the fans, I do not want to act like I'm coming back with ... Kiko" Hesitating to say her name "I want to tell everyone about us!"Jiyong's hands took his face, holding him to force him to see him, his eyes reflecting a mixture of pain and guilt "But we can hurt them, they don't deserve to be punished"

"I know." He said it, but he still could not understand. Why did they have to hide? What was wrong with being in love with each other? "But that does not mean I agree" He whispered, feeling a tear trickle down his cheek "Why hyung? What are we doing wrong? "His heart ached and he could see how Jiyong struggled with himself, trying to hold on

"I ..." Jiyong whispered back, to hide his face in the space between the neck and shoulder of Seungri, wrapping him with his arms, strongly. "I have no idea, I have not the slightest idea what we are doing wrong, Seungri, I just know that we can hurt the other members of BigBang and I can not allow that, this is my responsibility" His voice reflected the bitterness he was feeling at that moment, they were fine, they were happy, was not that what should matter? What was they sin? So many questions were hovering around Seungri's head that he slowly became aware of the situation in which they stood, looking sadly at Jiyong

"Why she?" Seungri was afraid, very afraid, he was afraid of not being enough, of not being able to compare himself with the great Kiko mizuhara, because Jiyong had been married to her, because she was the mother of his daughter, she gave him so many things... "I can't Jiyong" He said moving off from him, watching him intensely, Jiyong looked at him desperately, still fighting-"Not now, this is too much for me, I do not know what to think" Everything was too much for him. Jiyong released him and slowly nod, Seungri didn't need more to leave ...

----
He had avoided it, he had avoided everyone, and he had immersed himself in travel and business, Japan, China, Thailand, USA, any place that kept him away that reality, the tabloids of Korea, those stupid headlines that rubbed him In the face what he could never have, sigh, his cell phone would not stop ringing, indicating an incoming call, a call h