Chapter 11

Jiyong

Who the fck even falls in love with a person while you are in a relationship?

I don't.

I arrived in our hotel and saw that Dara is not yet here. I decided to take a shower to calm my head. When I finished washing up I heard the door open, "Jiyong oppa." Dara was calling for me so I responded, "Shower." Dara went to the room, "We really need to talk about it Jiyong." She said while looking at me calmly, "We don't need to talk about it, since I only see her a friend." I insisted then the television then started to look for a nice channel, Dara sat beside me, "Jiyong, when was the last time you walked out on me while you are irritated?" I stopped scanning a little bit and thought about it, before I could arrive to my answer she already told me the answer, "None okay? You never left our conversation like that even if you got angry at me." "And? What are trying to imply? That because of what I did I am already in love with Taeyeon?" Then she laughed a little bit, "See? I haven't mentioned it and yet you mentioned Taeyeon's name." 

Wow. Like wow. I cannot believe this person. If she loves me then why does she keep on insisting this?

"Because I know that you will get to that. You are the one I like and now if you really love me then why are pushing me into this?"

"Are you sure you really love me? Because all of the things you've done to me last month proves that you don't. And if I could add, we are not happy together anymore."

"What do you mean not happy? If you believe this rest is not happy together than what do you call this trip?"

"Jiyong, let's stop this relationship already."

"What do you mean by that?"

Dara held my hands, while I am getting tired and irritated with this.

"Jiyong, let's face the truth okay?" she took a deep breath then looked at me in the eye with sincerity, "We really do not love each other. You and I just became a thing because we were teased a lot in the company that we look good together, and the fans even fueled it. But, the truth is. Love cannot be dictated by anyone. We were just blinded by it, we were just blinded that we love each other because somebody just told us that we look good together, we got curios and then tested it out."

While listening to her it was true, yes, we went out because we just got curios, but I really enjoyed being with her. "The love that you might have felt to me is just like the love of a sister. Jiyong, love is something we cannot live without it. Loving is simply falling to the person without you noticing it and it makes your heart quench for that person, worrying about that person, you keep on checking on what she is doing, you always think about her everyday, you keep on talking about her. Even in her own flaws you still love her, because flaws are the things that makes us love that person. But love is not something that people could dictate to us. We should love whoever we want. Do you understand me Jiyong?"

Without nothing to say I digested everything she told me. And it got into my head, it gave me a new sense of direction.

"Then, I will be going back to my room now Jiyong. Think about it. Bye." Dara told me then she left me on my own world.

So that's why I did those things just for Taeyeon, because usually I don't say sorry to the person whom I just left on the studio.

I don't really make an effort in getting her number to her best friend just to give her a heads up.

I really don't use my connection just to get those damned jams just for her.

Because all of the things I did to her are my first times. I never did those things for Dara. I never gave her something that could make her smile like Taeyeon.

I couldn't have thought about not wanting to end my collaboration with her because I...

Oh ...

I am so damned right now.

I fell in love with her.

But, I do not have the guts to do anything about it.

With my phone beside me I reached for it then searched for her name.

'Taeyon-ssi'

Should I send her a message? But for what Jiyong? For the collaboration? Asking her if she already ate? That is not your image Jiyong. Sighing deeply I just sent a simple message to Dara.

Dara:

Thank you for giving my head a talk. Thank you for making me realize things that I have been denying.

I went to stalk Taeyeon's instagram, I looked at the photo she posted, it was a picture of fireplace captioned with "Aigoo~ It has been very cold now, everyone make sure that you are feeling warm right now!" I almost liked it then turned off my phone.

This is not you Jiyong. This is not your style.

Straighten up! Be a man!

Stop acting like a girl having a secret crush with a boy!