Yuta’s lips felt so soft like velvet, everything in that moment were perfect, taeyong felt in his stomach something new, something he never felt before, it was a strange feeling, he didn’t know how to explain it but it didn’t felt wrong, the kiss last long enough to feel like a eternity.

When taeyong opens his eyes, he is like always, he doesn’t feel anything and the strange sensation in his stomach is gone, he is looking at yuta, waiting for a question or something, yuta has this soft pink in his cheeks, his eyes are brighter than a whole galaxy and his lips are carmesi because of the long kiss

“yuta…I…” Taeyong tries to say something coherent but his mind is in blank

Yuta looks confused, angry and lost, taeyong tries to touch him but yuta stands up, and looks at taeyong with a sad face “I’m sorry I have to go” and he runs away, taeyong stays there  in the ground, thinking in what he have done, why did he do that? He slowly stands up and close the door behind him, goes upstairs to his room and lays in his bed and looks for his phone, he sends a text to yuta

“Yuta… are you mad at me? I’m sorry I… lately I been strange, and there is a lot of thing going on, please answer me, you know there are sometimes when I can’t read what you are feeling, If I did something wrong forgive me, If I hurt you, forgive me; I think, because of your face, that I wasn’t a good friend today…I’m sorry… please tell me if you are mad at me”

In the last book taeyong read, there was a character that said “I can feel the love in every kiss I give you” taeyong tought that the reason of his pain was because maybe he is in love with yuta, that’s why he kisses him to prove it, but taeyong doesn’t know the meaning of the “thing” he felt when he kissed yuta

“the way he looked at me… what was that… It wasn't love at end” he says to himself and falls asleep

At the next day taeyong texts yuta about 20 times but yuta don’t reply his messages, taeyong is feeling the pain again, this is not ok, maybe yuta doesn’t want to be his friend anymore and he hates taeyong now; but maybe taeil can talk to yuta maybe; so taeyong looks for his phone and calls taeil

“hyung, please come to my house, I need you” taeyong says desperate without say hi to his hyung

“Ok, I’ll go, wait just a few minutes I’m near your house” taeil hangs up the phone and 10 minutes later he is at taeyong’s room

“did something happen, I thought you were fine, yongie what is it? Is yuta?” taeil is petting taeyong’s hair trying to comfort him

“I… I kissed him last night” taeyong says between tears “I thought I was in love with him, I read it in a book, but it wasn’t, he doesn’t want to answer my texts or calls, hyung it hurts, why!?”

Taeil is in shock, taeyong doesn’t know anything about these things and now he doesn’t know why yuta doesn’t want to talk to him; maybe taeyong did something “wrong”

“yongie breathe please, I don’t think he hates you or something but he needs time, that kiss was maybe too much for him, you have to let him think… but… I think you should told him about your pain maybe he understand” taeil says, he cant process the information right now he is trying to be helpful “I call yuta, I’m going to tell him that you need him, and you are going to be sincere with him, is that ok for you?” taeil asks and his minor, he just nods, this time the pain is worst and taeyong can’t take it.

1 hour later yuta, arrives to taeyong’s house when taeil opens the door he can hear the screams

“thanks for coming, he is upstairs” taeil tries to smile

“what happened to him?, is he ok?” yuta asks, he looks worry

“he’ll tell you, please, go meet him” taeil says

Both enter to taeyong’s room and he is there screaming and crying, with his hands in his chest

“hyung… what happened?” yuta asks him, he goes to the bed and hugs him

“It hurts so bad… make it stop yuta, make it stop” taeyong says crying in yuta’s shoulder

Yuta looks at taeil looking for an answer but taeil just closes the door and leaves them alone

“why it hurts, what’s wrong?” yuta asks he doesn’t know what is happening

“you…” taeyong says trying to breathe “it started with you I don’t know why if you are not here it hurt if you are mad at me it hurts”

Yuta interrupts him “I’m not mad at you” but taeyong keeps talking “The days you were in japan were like hell to me, the day you called me and told me that you were leaving I thought I was ok but not, I started to feel the same thing I felt when terry died” the pain is not so bad now that yuta is with taeyong “I don’t know why it hurts so much what are you doing to me yuta?” taeyong tries to breathe slowly

“why didn’t you tell me about this, I could have call you or something, I didn’t want to make you suffer like this” yuta says, he feels sorry, and somehow he feels guilty

“why are you so nice with me?” taeyong asks, he is more stable now, being next to yuta is good for him

“Because I care about you…” yuta answer but he seems like he wants to add something else but he doesn’t 

“I’m sorry about the kiss… I read in a book, I thought…” taeyong is trying really hard to explain everything but he doesn’t know how

“yes, I know the book I told you… I will always read it the day before” yuta says smiling, he is not mad at taeyong, he is confused because he is been feeling something else for his friend but the situation is really complicated now, so he has to keep his feelings for himself.

“I feel better when you are around” taeyong says smiling a little bit

“well ask if you need something, I want to help you feel better” yuta says with that big smile

“I want to repeat something… If you don’t mind is just… I feel something really strange, well I guess is a feeling but” taeyong says, he want to kiss yuta again but he doesn’t know if its ok “let me kiss you again”

Yuta wants to kiss him oh god he really wants to but at the same time is too hard for him to kiss his friend now that he is feeling something else for him and taeyong probably doesn’t know.

Taeyong was lay in his bed and yuta slowly leans to him looking for his lips, those perfect lips, he sees taeyong closing his eyes, and for a moment everything feels so real, yuta wishes he could tell his friend that he likes him.

This kiss is more intense, taeyong puts his hands in yuta’s neck, and he is kissing him and tasting his lips like the sweetest candy and yuta is enjoying the moment biting taeyong’s lips. Taeyong stops for a second and says “I don’t know what I’m feeling for you” but yuta just goes on with the kiss, taeyong’s lips are like drug to him and now he can’t stop, he wants more but he can’t continue because somehow this is bad for both and when he ends the kiss he can see his hyung red face and taeyong's hand still around his neck “again please” taeyong says. yuta doubts it for a minute but he can’t resist the taste of taeyong’s lips so he kisses him again.

 The kiss end, they look desperate for more

“are you ok now” yuta says with a soft voice, he feels embarresed about what just happen but at the same time likes it so much, he is looking at taeyong eyes, waiting for an answer

“I’m fine now… I… the kiss… it doesn’t bother you?” taeyong shyly asks, he likes the kiss but is not the same “like” he knows he likes ice cream, books, coffee but yuta’s kisses are more than just “like”

Yuta smiles at taeyong, but this is not his regular smile this is different, taeyong can see it because the way yuta is smiling is not the same as always

“I’ll do everything to heal your pain” yuta says.

Yuta’s kisses are now taeyong’s favorite thing, he knows he only can ask for them just when he needs them but, everytime he remember the kiss he “feels” that strange sensation in his stomach and he wants more and more, but that its not ok because taeil told him some time ago that you can only kiss someone if you feel love but taeyong is not in love with yuta, and he had never asked yuta "that" question.

They start to go to the school, and quickly 2 months goes away, yuta and taeyong’s friendship is stronger than ever, they fight sometimes but yuta knows what it makes to taeyong and taeyong knows how it feels when yuta doesn’t talk to him, so they don’t fight often but when they do the best part of it are the kisses, they don’t mind it, they like it and those kisses are their secret; yuta is now deeply in love with his hyung, and those kisses are his drug but at the same time it kills it a little bit, he wants his older to kiss him with the same love he kisses him back, but taeyong is not in love with him and he is never going to love him, that’s what yuta thinks.

:Flash back:

“you’re a stupid, I hate you” yuta says, he feel hurt and mad

“I’m sorry I forgot it, ok, I can make it up to you, ask me anything” taeyong says trying to hold the tears, the park is cold and no one is in there except for them

“how could you forget your date with me” yuta says disappointed “anyways is not like I’m important to you” yuta says and he starts to walk leaving taeyong there

Taeyong feels horrible, he goes to his home and cries in his bed, the pain is horrible but he is learning to control it.

The next day, taeyong wakes up and looks his phone, yuta didn’t text him or call him so taeyong decides to text his minor

“I’m sorry…yuta don’t hate me you know how much it hurts to me”

He waits but yuta doesn’t reply, at 5 pm someone nocks on his door, it was yuta, he is all wet because of the rain, taeyong doesn’t say a word he just lets him in and gives him a towel

“Hyung… I…” yuta tries to say something but he can’t “I don’t hate you, I can’t do that…” yuta finally speaks he can see that his hyung cried all the night “I know what I did to you, I was very hard on you”

But taeyong is fine because yuta came to his house to apologize, and even when he felt bad all the night there is one thing he wants

“you owe me something” taeyong says and yuta knows what he means

Taeyong get close to his minor and touch his hair, he slowly kisses yuta, his lips are cold because of the rain, and he is wet because of the water but that just makes him tastier, taeyong feels how yuta’s cheeks are getting hotter.

“I don’t know why but I really like your kisses” taeyong says

“well… I kiss you again and maybe you can figure it out” yuta says kissing his hyung again

:End of the flash back:

I think this chapter is too long (?) xD

thanks for read ^^ I hope you like it 

As always you can leave any comment or critic, I'm still a rookie 

Ps: I'm a fool in love with yuta xD