Baekhyun is cheesy, and annoying. Oh and not to mention loud, very loud. 

Those were the things that I had gotten to know about him in the short time that we spent in his office, after the act and also after we’d both confessed our growing feelings. I was happy that he was showing me all new sides to him, but honestly he didn’t peg me as the annoying type. 

With this newfound knowledge, Baekhyun and I ended up bickering over small things, mostly me asking him to shut up and him articulating his comebacks in the form of cheesy lines and annoying smug smiles. Nevertheless, although reluctant to admit, I liked him a lot more this way.

I had thought that since it was every girl’s “alleged” dream to be with the cool and handsome guy, I’d automatically be more attracted to Baekhyun’s facade that he had shown in the beginning. But then after getting to know more about him, I sincerely prefer Baekhyun with his annoying, loud remarks and arrogant smiles instead of his unemotional chiseled face and unpredictable actions. However, I never said I didn’t appreciate it if he ever went into “alpha-male” mode, which unfortunately he hadn’t had the chance to show recently since he hadn’t any reason to.

A thought crossed my mind to make him jealous or something so I could see him in action once more, but found myself going against the idea. All because the time just wasn’t right, since practically nothing was settled just yet despite having gone through with the last leg of the plan. The article was yet to be released, and then we would have to deal with the public’s reaction.

Something must be done within the school’s management if Baekhyun were to keep his job as a teacher, which I recalled, he had reassured me of, since it was his parent’s idea of a punishment. It hadn’t occurred to me back when he said it, but then I was suddenly curious of what he had done to have received such a heavy punishment. His parents had sentenced him to a year of “community service” in the form of teaching, something he himself had loathed.

With that, as we sat around his office waiting for Lunch time to come around, I asked him the serious question in the midst of an already comfortable atmosphere. “Baekhyun, can I ask you a question?” He looked up at me from his phone and tilted his head in confusion, eyes looking at me worriedly, “What’s wrong?”

I quickly shook my head to signal that nothing was wrong whilst shaking my hands in front of me as well, “No, no. Its nothing like that. I’ve only been meaning to ask you about this ‘teaching’ punishment thing. What did you exactly do to get such awful consequences?”

A lot of things flickered past his face after I finished my question, including anxiety, fear and sadness. I was beginning to be skeptical of his answer, seeing as his reaction wasn’t exactly proper in respect to the question. 

He sighed as if in dire exhaustion, seemingly unable to give a clear and straightforward answer. Instead, he had looked at me with his worried eyes and held my hand, “If I tell you about this, you wouldn’t start hating me would you?”

I scrunched my eyebrows at his question and frowned, “Well of course not, my feelings aren’t that shallow you know. Try me.” He sighed once more and had looked resigned more than anything, before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him, placing my head on the crook of his neck with my body lying on top of his on the sofa.

I got comfortable and laid my own arms across his torso, inhaling his comforting scent in the process. I felt him place a light kiss on my forehead before starting on his reply, “It’s a bit embarrassing for me to tell you about this, but I suppose you have every right to know. Plus, I trust you enough to tell you this. The years in University weren’t my best moments, despite the fact that I had gotten into the world’s most prestigious University situated in the US.”

I could feel the vibration in each of his words, clearly making out the distinct feel of nervousness in his voice. I had only stayed silent as I listened to more of his story, although my heart swelled in something like pride when he mentioned that he had trusted me enough to tell me about this.

“2 weeks after I had left Korea to settle down there, my brother made an urgent call to me. I didn’t know anything when I picked up the call, and was really shocked when I listened to what my brother had to say. He told me that my parents had been fighting and was on the brink of a divorce, which meant that the both of us had to prepare for the series of complicated events that would happen if they did, considering the fact that we’re an aristocratic family.”

He paused to sigh once again, to which I had only responded by reaching out for his free hand and entwining our hands together as a gesture of comfort. “I was really stressed out that time, and the piling workload from my classes weren’t helping at all. I-I began to try suppressing the amount of frustration I had with the help of alcohol, and it was fine at first because I started out drinking moderately. But as time passed I had become addicted to it, since my parents had involved me in their fights by that time, a-and so, I turned to something way worse than just alcohol.”

As he said the words, I could hear his voice shaking already, but I couldn’t precisely figure out why it had. I didn’t want to push him to tell more of the story, but I knew he had to get this off his chest and that way, whatever problems he had could be solved by the both of us. I had nothing on my mind except to help him, in any way that I can.

I his hand comfortingly with my thumb, tilting my head a bit to kiss him on the jaw to encourage him to continue. As if on cue, he took a deep breath of air and continued, “Since I was more often drunk than sober, I had begun to vent my frustration through s-. I changed girls e-every night, barely doing anything to at least pass my classes. I became the “bad playboy” of the campus and with the nickname, came the arrogance.”

“I began throwing massive parties in various different places, inviting everyone in that huge University. It started in the mansion that I had lived in during my stay in the US, but then I abused my parents trust in me over money since I was mad at them anyway, and began carelessly using it. I bought more mansions for the sole purpose of partying, yachts and even a private island to host these parties that had been held every Friday night.”

He paused to breathe before going to back to his explanation, I myself, already immersed in the story, “But I didn’t stop there. I went gambling, did weed, and worst, got hooked on betting with my friends over the success of heists that we’d staged. At the beginning, we made other people do the heists that we’d planned beforehand, but after some time got bored of it and decided to do it ourselves. None of us were completely sober during these moments, and that was how we were so unceremoniously caught by the police.”

“My parents were alerted without a moment of delay and only after they had bailed me out of jail, had they told me that a man was on the brink of death because of the incident. I hadn’t a single clue to what I did, because I was partially dunk and high. The man had more than 10 fractured bones, a ruptured spleen, broken rib, dislocated jaw with a mashed up face, lung damage and even had brain hemorrhage.”

My breath hitched as he listed the man’s injuries, finding myself not believing that Baekhyun had done all that to an innocent man. But I had kept my calm to maintain Baekhyun’s calmness as well and continued to listen,

“I-I couldn’t recall a single thing about it but found my clothes all bloody and my fists bruised since I hadn’t the time to actually freshen up while in jail. I knew then that I had played a part in the man’s misery, and was proven right when a CCTV recording showed that 2 of my friends and I had beaten up the man and continued to do so even after he had fainted from the pain.”

“I fell into depression during the time my parents fought for my freedom in the court, and had even tried to take my own life because I couldn’t bear with the guilt. Oddly enough, my notorious actions were what reconciled my parents back together, but then it hadn’t mattered to me at all.”

“My parents succeeded in saving me from federal prison with some bribe money and the right lawyer, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have some punishment for me. They told me that so I could learn my lesson, I should pay them back the money that I had so carelessly spent on partying and my dangerous endeavours. The drinking, around and heists happened throughout freshman and sophomore year, so my last year of Bachelor’s degree and another one year of earning my Master’s degree were spent along with working my off at one of my parent’s companies as an unpaid worker with my original budget as a student, cut to the minimal as well.”

“In the end, 2 years weren’t enough and I wasn’t able to pay my parents back in full because I had just bought and done too many things. But they took pity on me when I had graduated my Master’s degree and acknowledged my efforts to atone for my sins, and decided to condemn me to a lighter punishment of ‘community service’. I admit that however much sweat I had wiped off of my forehead would never be equivalent to that man’s close encounter with death. But I really couldn’t remember harming him at all, and had since then done everything I could to repair the damage I had caused.”

“I can still recall the memory, of seeing the man’s battered condition as soon as I was in the sane mind to visit. His family was outrageous, but I couldn’t blame them. I remember crying by the man’s bedside, begging for forgiveness even though he couldn’t hear me for he was in a coma. Every single thing that happened scarred me for life, but it was a lesson well learned. I was sure then that life is a .”

I could only keep silent after he finished his story, too shocked to react a certain way. First of all, I hadn’t a single clue that Baekhyun had a dark past, and felt the utmost pity at the thought of it. Second of all, I was partially afraid of Baekhyun for he was able to hurt a man to the point of almost-dying. And third, I was slightly bothered by how he had mentioned that he had turned to during his unstable moments, imagining the different kinds of women he had in his bed. 

But most of all, my heart twisted at the thought of him “atoning for his sins” even though it wasn’t really his fault. It was all cause and effect; his parents' fight had caused him to fall into frustration and his poor choice in venting it out had only made matters worse. People might be disgusted at what he had done, but I had honestly been touched by his efforts and was even proud that he was able to make such a comeback from his depression.

I couldn’t really pit any fault his way, because when you’re young and frustrated, especially if you are drunk, you are bound to do something stupid and Baekhyun hadn’t lived a single sober day during those 2 dark years, so I had to let him off the hook for it. I admit that what he had done was unforgivable and was a crime, but I felt the biggest relief when I heard that he hadn’t gone to prison because of it.

I believe that he had fallen victim to circumstances, and as what the law says, was only “acting under duress”, considering the fact that he was like that due to his parents’ state of distress. But then again if I went with that argument, then even a thief could have plead to the court with that same reason and get away with it. Because he too was only a victim of circumstances, he could claim that his parents were in no position to supply him with money to support his life so he had to steal in order to survive. So, that argument doesn’t really justify Baekhyun’s actions.

The only thing that will however, is acknowledging the fact that Baekhyun was drunk and wasn’t in the right mind while committing the act of crime. He had shown great remorse afterwards and was even strong enough to pull himself out of depression in order to pay his parents back in an attempt to redeem himself. I found that to be a very noble deed that not everyone could overcome by themselves if not for the sheer strength of their own will. 

And with that, I couldn’t judge Baekhyun and convict him as guilty, instead I see him as a man who survived and was even strong enough to turn into, or return to, the bright person he was that I had had the pleasure of getting to know. I was more than happy with what he had accomplished and felt massively proud over his surviving such dark times.

And so in that moment