“My dad wants me back to US.” 2 months after the disband news is leaking to public, Tiffany says it while we’re lying on my bed.

We’re just finished shooting our last music video as group. To be honest, I don’t want her to stay far away from me, but who am I to her? I’m not her lover. After these 12 years with her, I never imagine my life without her by my side.

“So, you’re going back to US?”

“I don’t know, what do you think, Tae?”

I can feel her eyes on me, but I just look at the ceiling. “I’ll support your decision, Fany. Just do what you think it’s the best for you.”

“Your answer is no help to me, Tae.” She’s going up from my bed and walks out from my room.

I sigh deeply. I know she’s mad because my answer, but what do I need to say? Asks her to stay here without reveal my true feeling to her? No, I don’t want her to know my feeling. I turn my body and stare blankly to my bed those minutes ago still occupies by her body. I already miss her.

°°°

Months after my group—SNSD—officially disbanded, Tiffany—my love—decided to back to US and today is her departure. The whole member of SNSD are comes to the airport. She hugs me tightly and I hug her back. She also pecks my cheeks.

“I’m gonna miss you, Tae.” She says with her hoarse voice because she’s crying.

“Me too, Fany.” How can I live now, Fany?