Request by 88four3six

Could you maybe write something about two members of EXO casually hooking up and fooling around since debut and keeping it secret from the other members. It’s just occasional hook-ups, but it’s been going on for years behind everyone’s backs, and it’s kinda the longest ”not relationship” that either one had ever had – so maybe they are in a bit of denial. Anyway, I was thinking that Suho accidentally finds out – NOT catching them in the act or waling in on them – but maybe he sees them intimately parting ways after the fact (leaving the others room) or catches one doing the walk of shame – and assumes it is a first time hook-up, only to realise it has actually been going on for a really long time when he confronts them. I don’t know, I just picture Suho realising they’ve hooked up, thinking it’s the first time, and sitting one (or both) of them down to talk it out because he’s concerned about than and what it might mean for the group, and the realising it has been going on for years.

My preference is always Sehun/Baekhyun, but I would equally love Chanyeol/D.O or Xiumin/Chen.

*Also. Mentions of either or both members dating other people while they were hooking up would not be unwelcome. And emphasis on age differences, depending on the pairing (i.e. if there is one) would be awesome. The hook-ups can be entirely platonic (two friends just helping each other out) or they can be in total denial about how they feel about each other. It’s up to you, but my preference is always denial.

 

Word count: 4672

 

 

 

 

 

It had been happening for years.

 

It had first begun before they had debuted. Jongdae had been young, eighteen years of age and pushed into the trainee life, then into a debut team with eleven others boys with zero experience on his belt, all while trying to come to terms with the fact he might just like boys as much as he likes girls.

 

Minseok had been there to lend a helping hand and shoulder to cry on when things got hard. Being the eldest member he had taken it upon himself to watch over everyone, especially Jongdae and Baekhyun, their newest recruits. He had developed somewhat of a soft spot for the feline like beagle. The younger could get away with far more than anyone else could but really, everyone had a soft spot for Jongdae.

 

They hadn’t spent a lot of time together, maybe just over a month but they could both say that they knew each other quite well. It had been easier for them despite their differences in personality. Jongdae was loud and spontaneous while Minseok was more reserved and liked to have a plan for everything. They do say opposites attract and they did balance each other out quite nicely. So it didn’t really come as much of a surprise when Minseok had noticed the youngers more subdued and reserved change. He would often find the younger lost in his thoughts. It could have been the stress of their preparations for debut weighing him down, the self-doubt and nervousness of the unknown, which he couldn’t deny he felt as well, but he knew it was more than that and when he had confronted Jongdae about it, receiving that answer, he had told him he knew it was more than that.

 

Jongdae had hesitated, clearly not knowing if he should say what the main thing that had been bothering him, the fear of being judged and shunned by a person he had come to trust stopping him. Minseok, sensing this had promised that he would not judge, and the eyes so full of honestly that looked into his own were enough to have him spill everything.

 

Minseok listened, mouth shut and ears fine-tuned, as Jongdae told him everything. When he had finished Minseok had hugged him as tears leaked down the youngers face, ones that he hadn’t even realised had fallen, and comforted him, telling him that there was nothing wrong with him and that he too, had gone through the same thing. That day, Jongdae had learnt just what ‘biual’ meant.

 

They had somehow become even closer after that day. They were rarely seen separate from each other. Jongdae had learnt to accept himself and Minseok had been there every step of the way making sure he didn’t slip into dangerous and self-doubting thoughts.

 

They were like brothers.

 

It wasn’t until a few months before debut that the line became somewhat blurred.

 

Everyone was stressed. Little sleep and packed schedules gave them little downtime to relax. They were constantly on the move and they no longer had time for personal pleasures. Minseok was frustrated but kept it to himself. He was the eldest so he needed to be an example for the younger ones. He was also not one to complain and put his needs before others so he kept quiet. Despite his efforts to seem un-phased, Jongdae had noticed the tension in his form. There wasn’t a lot that either of them could hide from each other.

 

Neither of them remembered who had suggested it, who had made the first move, but they had both learnt just how much of a stress reliever could be.

 

At first they thought it would be a one time thing. Something they would never talk about again and something they would never tell a living soul. However once turned into twice, twice into thrice and thrice, well…they had lost count long ago.

 

It had become their ‘thing’.

 

They would find each other when the felt stressed and needed to let of steam. They would use each other’s bodies for pleasure and comfort. However there were no romantic love nor feelings that went beyond that of brothers and best friends between them. There were no declarations of love or undying devotion.

 

Afterwards they would lie together, bodies sated and full of sweat, and cuddle for a brief moment before they would part ways to wash up, one of them returning to their own room where they would sleep peacefully due to exhaustion.

 

After they had debuted it had continued.

 

Now they had a new set of worries, promoting in a country where they didn’t understand the language or customs and hiding their ‘thing’ from their band mates. It was difficult but they managed. More often than not, while the Chinese members would be out walking the streets or visiting their families they engage in their strenuous activities.

 

Most people would call what they had, the arrangement, their ‘not relationship’ as buddies, but Jongdae would prefer to use the term ‘no strings attached’, a term that he had learnt from Yifan in passing when the discussion of different categorisations of relationships had come up when they had all had a little bit too much to drink.

 

Casual s became a thing when they had little time to go all of the way. There were a few close calls but if anything it somehow got their blood running at the thought that someone could walk in at any moment and discover their dirty little secret.

 

It had continued over the years, their ‘thing’ being one of the constants in their life as brothers and lovers alike had left.

 

They had both dated over the years that they had been engaging physically with each other. One thing that they had agreed on was that while they were dating other people, their intimate moments would cease. Neither of them were into cheating and it wouldn’t be fair on the people they were dating. None of their relationships had lasted long and soon they would be crawling back under the covers with each other as they tried to comfort each other, heal the post breakup hurts and many others that plagued them.

 

They had gone years without anyone else being none the wiser. Sure, everyone know they were close, fans even calling them husband and wife, something their members would tease them endlessly about, but no one had even stopped to think that there was more to their relationship then what first appeared. Whether they just didn’t see it or didn’t want to believe it they had no idea and as long as none asked any questions they were content with that.

 

It had just been another encounter. Their comeback was only weeks away. Everyone was stressed more than usual, more than they were last comeback. They were also frustrated for many reasons, many that they had no control over.

 

It was then that Minseok found himself in the youngers room. The younger greeted him with open arms and a willing body as they, like many times before, worked out their stress and frustration. When they were finished they both lay on their backs as their breathing evened out and blood cooled. Minseok rolled off and pulled his clothes back on while Jongdae watched on, slipping his own sleep pants on and forgoing his shirt once Minseok had finished.

 

Jongdae walked Minseok the short distance to the door, where they kissed each other goodbye. It was sort of a tradition that had developed over the years, something that signified the end of a meeting and a way they would part each time. It was sort but sweet.

 

The younger closed the door and Minseok turned to head to his own room, only to freeze as he gazed upon the leaders shocked form, his mouth and eyes open comically wide, an expression that he would normally make fun of but could only feel dread overwhelm him.

 

Minseok didn’t think he had ever been as terrified as he was in that very moment.

 

“I – I can explain.” He stuttered out, mind moving a million miles a second.

 

Minseok’s words seemed to break Junmyeon out of his shocked state. “My room. Now.” He said, short and simple and Minseok followed the leader to his room with his head down.

 

Timidly Minseok sat on the leaders bed and Junmyeon leaned his back on the now closed door, his head titled back and eyes shut. Finally he let out a sigh as he ran his hands down his face, talking a seat next to the silent Minseok.

 

“So…you and Jongdae?”

 

Minseok hesitated but nodded. There was no trying to deny it, especially after he had witnessed it with his own two eyes. Their secret was out.

 

“Minseok, I really don’t know what to say. Do you know how badly this could be for all of us? If the world found out? Or if something bad were to happen between the two of you?” he says and Minseok feels immense guilt wash over him. He honestly hadn’t thought to deeply about that even happening. They weren’t together so why should it matter? They weren’t in a relationship but he knew if something like this got out to the general public they were ruined.

 

“I’m sorry.” Minseok apologises weakly. He feels like he could tear up any minute now. He wasn’t one for crying but Junmyeon was someone he trusted and looked up to and now he felt like he had disappointed him, put everything the leader had worked too hard to achieve in jeopardy.

 

“Please don’t cry, I’m not mad at you.” Junmyeon pleads. “I’m just worried about you and what it could mean for us all.”

 

“You’re – you’re not disgusted? At what I am?”

 

“Disgusted? Why would I be disgusted? Who am I so say who you can love? Gender means nothing when it comes to love.” Minseok smiles at Junmyeon even though he fells a sudden pain in his heart. Love? What he and Jongdae had was love but not the type of love Junmyeon thought. Was it? “This was the first time, wasn’t it? You two have been awfully close lately.” Junmyeon asks and Minseok nearly chokes in his own spit.

 

Oh god. How was Junmyeon going to react when he told him they weren’t loves but casual bed partners and that it had been going on for years, nearly as long as the two had known each other?

 

“No.” he said so soft Junmyeon nearly didn’t even realise he had spoken.

 

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

 

“No.” he says again but louder. “It wasn’t the first time.”

 

“What do you mean it wasn’t the first time? How long has this being going on for?” Junmyeon asks and Minseok can detect the leaders shock.

 

Minseok hesitates. “Since before debut.” He admits finally and Junmyeon can’t hold in his shocked gasp. Minseok looks to the leader and his expression cannot be passed off as anything other than pure disbelief.

 

“S – six years! You two have been together for six years and none of us had noticed a thing?!” he exclaims. Then something comes to him. “But both of you have dated other people in that time period.” Minseok knew Junmyeon was confused.

 

Now comes the part that Minseok doesn’t really know how to explain.

 

“We’re…we’re not together.”

 

“What do you mean you’re not together?”

 

Minseok lets out a big breath. “We’ve never been together. We just…help each other out.”

 

“You can’t be serious.” Junmyeon looks at Minseok wide eyed, like he’s expecting this to be some sort of joke but when Minseok looks at him, face all serious, he frowns. “You two aren’t together. Surely after six years something would have happened.”

 

“No it’s nothing like that, just… bed partners.” Minseok says.

 

“So you’re telling me that in your six year not relationship, you haven’t even felt the littlest bit of romantic love for Jongdae.” Junmyeon tries to clarify.

 

“Its’s not like that, we both agreed.” Minseok says in defense.

 

“Both of you agreed? Or did you agree about on your own? Because I honestly find it hard to believe that either of you hadn’t at least felt something in that time.” Junmyeon pauses as he tried to gauge the elders reaction to his words. “Or even if it was like that at the beginning, who’s to say it stayed that way.”

 

“Because it didn’t. I know it.”

 

“Are you sure about that?” Junmyeon says kindly and Minseok squirms under the scrutiny of his gaze, like he knows something he doesn’t and it unsettles him. “I can’t speak for either of you, and you definitely can’t speak for Jongdae, but you should really give it a long, hard think. You might just find something you didn’t know you already had.” He says mysteriously.

 

“Junmyeon wha – “ he starts only to be cut off.

 

“Just think about it and don’t do anything you’ll regret. Remember, you’re not the only person who’s a part of this.” Minseok is still having trouble trying to figure out what the leaders words mean. “Now it’s late and we have schedules tomorrow. We’ll talk more about this later.” He says and Minseok knows he’s been dismissed.

 

Minseok sighs. “Goodnight.” He gets up and begins to leave, body feeling like lead.

 

“Minseok!” Junmyeon calls just before he walks out. “I can’t say that I agree with your arrangement but just know I’m here if you need me and I’ll support any decision that you make, just please make sure that it’s the right one. For your sake and for ours.”

 

Junmyeon gives him a knowing look, one that doesn’t sit well with him at all before closing the door, leaving Minseok staring into space.

 

That night sleep doesn’t come easy despite the physical, emotional and mental exhaustion he feels. His head is to full of unanswered questions and the feeling that maybe he had been lying to himself for years.

 

The days after Junmyeon had found out their secret was uncomfortable to say the least. Junmyeon had kept what he knew to himself but the very thought that he knew and could tell anyone at any moment – even though he knew he wouldn’t – unsettled him.

 

Things between him and Jongdae hadn’t been the same since.

 

Minseok had never thought there was more to their relationship then best friends who comforted and helped each other out in any way they could. Had he been wrong the entire time? Had he been too blind to see what was right in front of him or did he truly only feel platonic love towards the younger? He really didn’t know anymore. Something which had once been so simple now seemed too difficult to comprehend.

 

Jongdae wouldn’t meet his eyes and that’s when he knew that Junmyeon had spoken to him as well. He wondered what was going through the youngers mind. He wondered if Jongdae’s thoughts were the same as his.

 

It didn’t take long for their members to realise something wasn’t quite right with them. It was obvious that something had happened between the two of them. I mean, who wouldn’t? What with them not speaking. It’s not like Minseok hadn’t tried because he did but it was almost like the younger was avoiding him. Jongdae would disappear for hours at a time, only being in Minseok’s presence during a schedule or if they weren’t alone. When he would try to talk to him Jongdae would look startled before running off.

 

It hurt.

 

It hurt not seeing him. It hurt not to see his smile directed towards him. It hurt not being able to hold him in his arms. It hurt simply not being able to talk to him. It hurt more then he could have even thought. What did that mean? Did he love him?

 

Of course he loved him, but did he love him?

 

He really didn’t know.

 

Had what they been doing all of these years really only been for comfort and destressing? Had feelings developed along the way? Or had they always been there?

 

He had tried to ask Junmyeon what he had said and if the younger had confided in him but the leader had just shook his head, telling him that what they discussed would remain between the two of them unless Jongdae himself revealed what had been spoken. Minseok had tried to ask Jumnyeon for advice but he had told him that it was something that he needed to figure out on his own.

 

Minseok wondered what they had talked about. It was obviously something big if Jongdae’s behaviour the last week had been anything to go by.

 

He didn’t know what to think.

 

Jongdae’s absence in his day to day life had affected him more than he had even thought possible and it’s then that he realised that he couldn’t imagine a life without him in it, couldn’t imagine a life without Jongdae by his side and he by his. He wanted to be more than just physically close to him, he wanted to be connected on a much deeper level, something which had been missing from his past relationships maybe because he had already had that with Jongdae, leaving him unable to connect like that with them.

 

He loved him.

 

He always had and he didn’t know why it had taken him this long to figure it out.

 

He decided then that it was time for him to confront Jongdae. The youngers avoidance of him had gone on too long. He needed answers but he was scared. What if he didn’t feel the same? What if, by admitting his love for the younger, he could be destroying their many years of friendship. But what if he felt the same way? He had to take the chance. There was much more at stake than just them, there was their group as well. This could tear them apart.

 

He had planned when he was going to do it. He knew Jongdae often refused invitations to go out if it was late at night so he had asked Junmyeon to take the others out for dinner and told him that if anyone asked why he wasn’t going along that he wasn’t feeling well. It would be safer if they were the only two people in the house. Junmyeon seemed to agree as he showed no hesitation at Minseok’s suggestion but he also got the impression that the leader knew something that he didn’t.

 

Minseok could see the fear in Jongdae’s eyes when he came into the youngers room, closing the door behind him. He hated seeing that emotion on his face. The younger tried to school his expression into one of indifference but Minseok could see right through it.

 

“What can I do for you Minseok hyung?” Jongdae asked coolly but they both knew why Minseok was here and he wasn’t going to beat around the bush.

 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He stated.

 

“No I haven’t.” Jongdae answered but they both knew that wasn’t true.

 

“You have.” He corrected. “You know you have and I want to know why.”

 

“Can you just leave it?” Jongdae said and he sounded a little frustrated but Minseok wasn’t giving up. He came for a reason and he wasn’t leaving until they got this sorted out.

 

“You know I – we – can’t to that… so talk to me Dae.”

 

“What’s there to talk about? The fact that Junmyeon knows. The fact that we weren’t careful enough. The fact that – “ he cut himself off before he could say anything more. He almost looked like he wanted to cry.

 

Minseok didn’t miss how the younger had censored himself. “That what?” he prompted. He wanted, no needed, to know what the younger was going to say. Jongdae shook his head, eyes directed down to the floor. “What, Jongdae?” he said softly, his own heart beating loudly in his chest.

 

“W – We need to stop.” Jongdae said finally sounding completely vulnerable and Minseok felt the walls begin to cave in. “We should have stopped years ago. No, we should have never started this in the first place.” He laughed wetly.

 

Minseok felt his heart break. “Jongdae wait.” He moved closer to the younger who looked panicked at him advancing.

 

“M-Minseok no! We can’t do this anymore! I can’t do this anymore!” Jongdae yelled as his pushed the elder away who was startled by the tears that he begun to fall down the youngers cheeks.

 

“Why can’t we do this anymore? We can just go back to what we used to be, nothing has to change.” He lied. He would do anything to keep Jongdae by his side, even if he had to lie to himself, even if he didn’t feel the same way as he did.

 

Jongdae laughed, but this laugh wasn’t filled with joy, no, it was lined with pain. “Nothing’s changed? Nothing’s changed?! Everything has changed!” he yelled.

 

“Jongdae…” Minseok said almost pleadingly.

 

“We can’t go back to what we used to Minseok, we just can’t. Do you want to know why?” Minseok held his breath. “It’s because I fell in love with you. I ing fell in love with you!”

 

Minseok’s breath got caught in his chest. “Dae…”

 

“I ing fell in love with my best friend who, this is the crazy part, I’ve been having with for years! And oh my god I can’t believe I just said that…” he slammed a hand over his mouth while the other one violently ran through his hair.

 

Minseok didn’t know what to say. He was completely frozen. He wanted to run over to the younger and comfort him, tell him that he felt the same but he couldn’t move. His body wasn’t responding. It almost felt like he was watching the events occurring through someone else’s eyes.

 

“Oh god, what have I done? I’ve wrecked everything.” He spoke mostly to himself as he cried into his hands but Minseok heard him loud and clear.

 

Minseok’s heart broke at the scene. “Jongdae listen to me. I feel the same way.”

 

Jongdae visibly flinched as his breath hitched and slightly raised his face out of his arms. His lip trembled. “No Minseok…please don’t do this to me. Please don’t say something you don’t mean. I can’t take it.” He cried.

 

“No Jongdae listen to me. I’m not lying.” Minseok insisted but he knew Jongdae wasn’t hearing him.

 

“Please just stop.” He sounded defeated.

 

“God dammit Jongdae just listen to me!” he didn’t mean to raise his voice but he was getting frustrated. He kneeled down in front of the younger and cupped his face firmly but not enough to hurt as he forced Jongdae to look him in the eyes. “I could never work out why none of my relationships had worked out.” He began. “I was happy when I was with them but they never lasted. I would use my busy idol schedule as an excuse as to why we would never work but that was bull! Lies! Do you know what I figured out? While I was happy with them I was happier when I was with you. I realised you were all I have ever wanted but I was too blind to see it!” he paused to take a breath. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for six years.”

 

Jongdae had his mouth agape in disbelief. “You don’t mean that.” He said weakly

 

“I do. I mean it with all of my heart. I’ve never been so sure of something in my life.” He caressed the youngers cheeks as he wiped away the wetness from his tears that had now stopped. “I’m not lying. I would never lie about something like this.” He told Jongdae as he pulled him closer so their foreheads touched, a silence coming over them.

 

“How long?” Jongdae asked, his voice still sounding shaky.

 

“I think I’ve always felt like this but I only realised it after speaking with Junmyeon.” Minseok said honestly.

 

Jongdae leaned his head on Minseok’s shoulder and the elder just hugged Jongdae tighter. Minseok could feel the youngers hot breath on his neck. It was something familiar and something he had missed dearly.

 

“I realised I loved you when the thought of me being yours, and you being mine made me happy.” Jongdae confessed.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Minseok asked as he mindlessly ran his hand up and down the youngers back.

 

“I was scared. We both knew and agreed that there would be no strings attached from the beginning. But mostly… mostly I was afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same. That you would hate me for it. So I didn’t say anything.”

 

“I could never hate you.” He could never imagine holding hate towards him.

 

“Then when Junmyeon told me he knew about us I freaked out. It was like he was looking right through me, like he knew everything I was thinking and everything I felt. He told me I should tell you how I feel but I just couldn’t do it and just looking at you made me want to shout it out. That’s why I avoided you. I’m such a coward.”

 

“You’re not. But if you’re a coward then so am I.” he said and that got a laugh out of Jongdae whose body shook. Minseok smiled. Even though it was nothing like his usual laugh he was relieved to hear the sound he loved so much after so long. “Or we could both be cowards together.” Jongdae smiled

 

“I knew something was up when Junmyeon said you weren’t going with them to dinner.” Jongdae commented when he leaned back, eyes still read and puffy but his tears had long since dried and there was a small smile pulling his lips up.

 

Minseok smiled as well. “I didn’t want anyone else to be here when I confronted you. I knew it probably wouldn’t be a quite conversation.”

 

Jongdae suddenly got a worried look on his face. “Junmyeon won’t tell anyone, will he?”

 

“He won’t. He wouldn’t do anything like that. You know how he is and he knows it’s not his place to tell.” Minseok reassured him.

 

“I know. It’s just I don’t think I’m ready for anyone else to know about us.” He said and the other meaning in his words filled Minseok up with hope.

 

“You mean…”

 

Jongdae smiled shyly. “I mean, that is if you want to.”

 

Minseok stared at him for a moment before pulling him into a kiss. Jongdae gave a startled yelp at the expected move but soon melted into the kiss. Their lips moved together as they became completely immersed in each other. When they pulled away they were both panting with flushed cheeks but they were both grinning.

 

Minseok stood up and pulled Jongdae to his feet. He hugged the younger and then tipped them to the side so they fell straight onto Jongdae’s bed. Jongdae giggled as they bounced. He unconsciously cuddled up to the elders side, laying his head on his hard chest and placing his leg across his waist.

 

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” Minseok asked.

 

“Not right now. Can you just… can you hold me?”

 

Minseok placed a kiss on the youngers head and tightened his hold of Jongdae’s waist. “Of course I can. I’ll hold you whenever and as long as you like.”

 

Jongdae smiled his kittenish smile as he nuzzled his face into Minseok’s chest, his breath evening out as he drifted off. Minseok watched the younger as he slept, admiring the face before him before he to fell asleep with Jongdae face being the last thing he saw. They still had plenty of things they needed to talk about but they could wait.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hours later Junmyeon poked his head into the room and smiled at the scene of the two tangled together, happy that it had worked out in the end.

 

---

Another long one for you all! This is another one where I'm quite happy with how it turned out. Here's just some things that some may need a little bit more clarifying seeing as I didn't go into to much detail about it in the fic:

-Both Minseok and Jongdae are biual meaning they're romantically and ually attracted to both es
-They have both dated other people in the six years their 'thing' had been happening (their lovers being males and females) however they abstained from having intimate relations with each other while they were dating their lovers

I think that's it really. If you have any other questions feel free to comment them below. I'm more than happy to answer them! About any of my stories :)

I've pre-ordered both BTS and EXO's new albums, all versions. Seeing as I ordered them all together my EXO albums will be arriving late as they will be shipped with the BTS ones to cut costs on shipping. I saved like $50 doing that and that money will be very useful *cough* Yixing's second album *cough* That teaser they dropped this morning has given me so many more questions I don't even know what to think anymore. Does RF stand for Red Force? Why doesn't Baekhyun have his orb? Why couldn't they obtain it? And does it have to do with his role in Monster? So many questions. Something which is interesting though, why is Kyungsoo's power listed as Force and not Strength? It's probably nothing but I'm curious. BTS have also been suspiciously quite and I don't like it. What are they planning? I'm waiting for something to drop any minute now.

 

And have to told you all about how much I hate group assignments, because if I haven't I'm telling you now that I really hate group assignments. They're such a pain in the ! And that's where I'll leave you all today.