Seo Joohyun’s POV

“Oppa, I will marry, next month.”

I try to tell the most difficult thing in this world this time to the person who I still love with my whole heart. I sit still and try to hold my tears. I will never let these stupid tears fall in front of Yonghwa Oppa. At least a minute has passed, and it is still silent. I brave myself to lift my head and glance to him. He is still sit there, looking at the wedding invitation. I studied his face, but no expression drawn there, just a palm face. But suddenly, the tears that are hanging on my eyes just fall a river when I successfully catch his eyes. Those eyes are losing their live, really sad. It is beyond my imagination that Yonghwa Oppa will be this broken. Confusion, angriness, sadness, I can’t describe what I see. After 18 years knowing him – 8 years to be exact, since I hide for 10 years – I never see him this broken. His clear eyes also shed some tears. Oh God, this is not what I want. Why Oppa act like this?

Jung Yonghwa’s POV

When I gain my consciousness – I don’t have an idea how long I was trapped inside my shocked state – I find Seohyun looks at me. My defense to block this tears just collapse. To be honest, my whole body is trembling and I am in the edge of falling down. I can’t even lift the wedding card invitation anymore. But I am trying hard to collect my remaining energy to smile at her.

“Jinjja? Hyun ah, chukhae... Congratulation on your wedding.” Once again, my tears drop. I really want to curse myself, for being so weak, for not able to control my flowing emotion. Suddenly, Seohyun’s hands hold mine.

“Oppa, why are you crying?”

“Hyun ah, chukhae...” I answer, still with the same word from before, though I know it is not the right answer. I wipe my tears with my free hand.

“Chukhae, chukhae Hyun-ah. Ah, jinjja, na wae irae? Why am I crying? Mianhae Hyun for being like this. But jeongmal, I wish for your happiness. I am happy for you, jinjjaro. I will.”

“Oppa, why are you crying... ah jaebal...” She seems worried for me, but I should worry for myself than worrying her worry about me.

“Na... jinjja haengbokhae. Finally you find your beloved ones.”

“Oppa, don’t lie please. Na arayo, Oppa can’t lie. Everything are shown right there on your face when you are lying.

“Arrasseo, arrasseo, I am crying, I am not really fine, but I will be fine.” Finally my whole defense really breaks. Blame me for being unable to lie, especially in front of this girl.

“But, why are you crying too Hyun?”

“Ah, anieyo. Kwenchanhayo.”

“Hyun ah...”

“Oppa, aish, jinjja. Arrasseoyo. I will explain it all. Keundae, Oppa must promise me to explain too, ne?”

“Call. But not here. What about the park that we used to hang out together?”

“The one in the end of this road?

“Eoh, eotte?”

 “Keureuyo, kajja.”

After I pay some cups we drink, we go out from the cafe and walk to the park, without any sound except out foot. I am trying to arrange my words. I think about how will I explain to her? How to deliver my feeling without give burden to her? How to make a better defense so I will not broke in front of her again, how to look straight in her eyes without wavering, and so many another ‘how’s. May be Seohyun also wondering the same things, or maybe not. The only thing I know is that she is walking beside me. That is all.

I am really confused right now. I want to confess my true feeling for her, but these questions also following me: Should I go this far? Will I regret it later? Will I regret if I don’t confess to her right now? How will she react? Will I make her sad? Will I make her confuse? Will I ruin her wedding? Will this be the end of our relationship, forever? Ah, molla!

After arriving at the park, I sit on one of the wood swings. Seohyun then sit on the swing next to me. And for the nth time, no one talk. Even this park is so quite. No one dares to be here on such windy day.

“Hyun ah,” I break the silent, but still try to compose the words.

“You really want to know why did I cry?” I still not face her. I stare my favorite blue shoes and one a time, stare at the wet grass. It drizzled an hour ago. No answer from her, but I can feel her gaze. She is facing me, and I take it as ‘yes’.

“Actually, I was really surprised. Manhi. How didn’t I? Seo Joohyun suddenly went, ani, move to Japan, didn’t let me contact her, broke ties with me for 10 years and suddenly popped out of nowhere, sent me an email, informing that she want to meet me, and at that first meeting gave me a wedding invitation card. Whoever you done this to, will be surprised, despite they knew you well or not. Moreover it is me, who close to you for 8 years before you’re moving. I really don’t know how to react, what should I do.”

“But Oppa, if you just being surprised, shocked, you will not cry as you did before.  Oppa is not that kind of person.”

“Why are you so sure, Hyun ah? How do you know I never change from myself 10 years ago? Many things can change, so do I.” I start rising my voice. I don’t intend to shout at her, I just try to strengthen my defense.

“Oppa...” her soft voice beats me.

“You want me to be honest? Really? Are you sure you won’t regret?”

“Ne...”

“But you must promise me a thing. Please, jaebal, don’t avoid me after this. We still can meet once a time, with your husband too. Just please, don’t avoid me. Jaebal.” I look at her with a serious face, and so does she. I saw her nodding. Okay, this is the start of the war. My war. My war with my emotion.

“Do you still remember our promise when we are freshman in high school? You know, that promise. That we will not discussing anything about our feeling until we finish our study? The promise that we will let it be, let the time to take care of it, let the fate to decide? Do you still remember the time when we officially are only best friend with the hope of no that kind of love involved? This is the result... Na... Na... Naega... I still love you, jeongwa cheoreom (same as before).”

It feels like riding a rollercoaster and jump to a pool from fifteen meters high in the middle of summer. Really nervous, but relieved in the same time. I bet Seohyun can hear my hertbeat. But for some reasons, I feel sorry towards her. But for my surprise, Seohyun sheds another tear. Is it a sorry feeling for me?

“Mianhae Hyun, mianhae. I am so sorry. I don’t believe I talk nonsense like this. I shouldn’t confess my feeling to you in this kind of situation, moreover you are getting married. Mianhae for making you cry again. Mianhae. Jeongmal mianhae.”

“Anieyo Oppa. Oppa is not wrong. Why Oppa should say sorry to me? Nope, you don’t do anything wrong.” She wiped her tears and continued,

“Oppa, actually I am crying because... because... keunyang...na...” Seohyun can’t continue her words and broke to her tears again. I am really confused and as I am possessed by ghost, I squat in front of her, wipe her tears with my right hand, and held her hands with my left hand.”

“Uljimara.. don’t cry, Hyun. I said that not to make you cry.”

Her sob stops. She looks at me again. It is really showed that she is trying to catch her breathe. After a while, she finally speaks,

“I am crying hard because... I... I still love you too Oppa.”

- to be continued - 

Note : How is it? Kkk. Comment please :) and I’ve decided to make it into 4 parts. So, sorry if the chapter is so short. A bit spoiler! The next part will explain Seohyun’s reason to marry someone else, but... but... it will be very short chapter, chusongheyo... *bow*.