First Impression

It’s a dramatic slice of life and I’m really into this genre. I like how each character clearly has its own demons they struggle with. They have different ways of coping but when they’re together they feel a little stronger, not so alone in their own fight. I like that, you can really understand their friendship. Even if they aren’t all mushy brothers all the time, you can clearly see that they care for each other. When Mariya just appeared Suda was clearly not the most.. patient guy but he tried to help in his own way. I’m sure the others would have done it in a very different way but it’s cool to see that they try to help each other despite maybe not being the best person in comforting someone else. It’s awkward but they do it for each other and they don’t mind.

You wanted to know something about the dialogue and the character development.

Dialogue

The dialogue is quite enjoyable, you can clearly see they react differently but also hear that they are young idiotic adolescents. It stayed pretty constant throughout the story. In the beginning, you used a lot of exclamation points. That was one of the things that truly stood out to me, fortunately, that died down as you improved your writing. A new thing I noticed though is that you’ve got a new habit of putting ‘’..’’ multiple dots where I assume the character slowly falls silent. This isn’t really bad when you use it sparingly, however, you use it quite a lot that I can already count 5 of them just by staring at a few paragraphs of your chapter. Instead of dots, you could also show that the character does something else, quiets down, or simply move on to the next dialogue line.

Character Development

As for the character development, I really had to get to know the characters. In the beginning, I was quite suspicious of Yutto, I don’t trust people who are instantly friendly. Most character developments went quite well so far, the problems between Haru and Ryo are clear. It explains why their couple progression is so slow, but it reflects their insecurities very well. I had a bit of trouble with Yutto, his intentions felt really strange to me. He a