Prompt and Story 

When I read the prompt, it made me reminisce my time on a wolf RP I really loved. It's a general plot, so you can morph it into anything you want it to be. It sounds like a very fluffy prompt with maybe a hint of angst, since Chanyeol did get separated. 

You mix the tenses up a lot. You use a lot of continuous, which makes it confusing to read. For example the first paragraph: 

The falling snow finally marked the start of season. The snow was starting to fall earlier that day so the population of Hanseong forest tribe would be relieved from the bone-chilling-weather. Not for a long time obviously because the forest in the north would always faster to covered by the snow.

You already indicated that it snowed in the first sentence. The second sentence is can simply state ''The snow started to fall earlier that day,'' This will clear up some confusion and it will indicate that it happened in the past.

Besides the tenses, this paragraph is slightly confusing. You said the Hanseong tribe would be relieved of the cold weather, but it is snowing. Then you say, it won't last long because the forest would soon be covered in snow. It suggests, that the Hanseong tribe lives on the other side of the mountain where there was snow, but now the clouds moved the snow to the north of the mountain. 

I also noticed that you sometimes stick word together with a -, usually words are separate, if not your spelling check will notify you. Since the number of words where a - is appropriate is quite small, it's better to gamble without a - if you're not sure. 

To improve your English writing, I would recommend to really pay attention to how other writers writ