“Why won’t you just tell me what happened?”

“I don’t ing trust you. What if you agree with them?”

“Why not?! Agree with who?”

“Why should I trust someone who’ll leave me in the end?”

“I promise I won’t ever leave your side, Yuri. Not voluntarily. I love you.”

The cold sweat soaked my pillow and sheets.

It was only getting worse.

I needed to get everything off my chest. I needed to tell someone before these memories, these feelings, completely ruined me.

If I had been anyone else I could have gone to a therapist, but they were not to be trusted by someone like me. They could tell me everything would be confidential, but those words would be nothing but empty. The minute I left their office they'd be quick to report me to the government.

I curled into my covers.

I knew Ji Eun had asked me to trust her plenty of times. I just didn't feel comfortable dumping my baggage all out in the open for someone else to see. Wasn't it a burden? Wouldn’t I just be complaining about useless things that I should have coped with already? All I knew was that she was right. I couldn't live like this anymore.

Maybe it was time I let someone in again.
 

Despite me feeling like utter , I got ready and boarded the bus that took me to school. Ji Eun followed shortly after and sat next to me. I had planned to tell her that we could meet up at lunch so I could tell her everything, but the moment I opened my mouth all the emotions of the past week flooded in at full force, leaving me gasping for air.

"Yuri?! Are you okay?!"

I attempted to breathe in and out. I needed to calm down. I needed to do this. I'd been a coward for far too long.

I sat up slowly and nodded my head, not trusting my mouth to speak. It took me the whole bus ride to feel slightly stable.

Why had I let myself become this ed up? Why couldn't I just open up to people and trust that they'd be there to support me? Why was it so hard to believe that they wouldn't leave me?

I always questioned myself why, but I knew the answer perfectly well.

I mindlessly walked next to Ji Eun and soon realized we were standing in front of her class. She peered at me and scowled in concern. I glanced up at the ceiling, willing the sudden tears forming to stop. I couldn't cry here.

"Do you have something to tell me, Yuri? Why are you having anxiety attacks and nearly on the verge of crying? You can tell me anything, you know that, right?" She said it so sincerely that it triggered everything I had been holding back once again.

I looked down from the ceiling and felt a single tear fall down my right cheek.

"I'm an orphan, Ji Eun. My parents didn't want me. They called me a disgrace to this earth, even though they knew what they were doing when they had me. They created sacrilege incarnate, they created me."

It all flooded out of me in one huge wave and I suddenly felt Ji Eun hugging me. I couldn't seem to stop the tears from flowing.

My parents had hated me so much that I ended up hating myself for what I was.

"I'm sorry, I-I can't seem to stop crying," I choked out through sobs.

I sensed Ji Eun tighten her grip on me as she whispered, "Never be sorry for crying, especially in front of me. I don't know what you quite mean by all this sacrilege stuff but know this. Your parents were horribly wrong about you. You are the most wonderful person I've ever met in my life, Yuri. Please believe me."

At her words, I began to cry harder. I truly didn't deserve her.

I looked up and loosened my grip to tell Ji Eun she should go to class and that I'd be fine when I spot Taehyung and Jimin coming in our direction.

Oh god, why did he always have the worst timing?

"Ji, I need to get out of here. I'll talk to you later," I whispered, wiping harshly at my cheeks. I struggled in her grip but she didn't budge. Tears were still flowing down my face and there was no way they were stopping anytime soon. I felt an ugly sob coming up and decided to hide in Ji Eun's shoulder to muffle it. If she wouldn't let me leave, I'd at least hide as best I could.

All that could be heard among the silence that ensued was a sharp inhale that was not mine.

"I-is she okay?"

Taehyung, Ji Eun's soulmate. His deep voice left an impression, and I flinched at the realization that they had seen me crying. That Jimin had definitely seen me crying. Then slight heavy breathing interrupted such thoughts. I looked to the side and immediately regretted doing so.

Jimin stood there, wide-eyed and seemingly breathless. He seemed to only witness the most embarrassing sides of me.

"Sorry guys, I think I'm gonna take Yuri to her dorm. Tae, can you tell our teacher I wasn't feeling well?"

"Ah, s-sure thing."

Ji Eun began to drag me away when I heard footsteps trailing behind us.

"We just wanted to say," Taehyung started, but Jimin quickly ran over his words, "We hope you feel better. Bye!"

"Hey! Wait! I wanted to give Ji Eun a goodbye kiss!"

I didn't dare turn my head to look, but I was pretty sure Jimin was dragging Taehyung away.

We continued to walk down the hallway, only to hear in the fading distance Taehyung still yowling dramatically. Ji Eun giggled beside me and shook her head, missing the small ghost of a smile that revealed itself through my tears.

If there was anything good left in this life, it was Ji Eun's happiness.
 

I told Ji Eun that I wasn't feeling well and she suggested that I shou