CHAPTER 05

“I’m not sure - I say - I’m not totally hard.”

“Let’s try something else, then.”

He pulls up a picture of two guys, very handsome guys, in a sixty-nine position. I blush and try to look away, but he puts it closer.

“Seriously. What do you feel? I’m just curious. I’ve never encountered anything like this before.”

“Um…nothing.”

He looks down at my crotch, which is obviously not enlarged at the moment. But what I don’t mention is that I’m trying to keep it from getting hard.

“Wow. You’re right. Maybe you’re only gay for me.”

Overwhelmed, I look away.

“Hey, is it hot in here? Should I mess with the AC?”

“Nah, I’m good - he says, taking his phone back and adjusting his jeans for some reason - Here’s an idea. It’s October ...let’s find a scary movie on Netflix.”

Scary movie…Netflix…I know what these words mean. He wants . And I can feel it, too…the air seems full of the innuendo he’s just laid out there. That’s fine, because that’s where a straight date would go at this point, too…but where would we even begin?

“Okay, but…I have to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” - he asks.

“I’m interested, but…I don’t know the first thing about gay , if it gets there.”

“? - he laughs - Trust me, I move fast, but not that fast. I’m a good girl, you know.”

I laugh, but I still don’t really know what to say. I’ve never heard a guy refer to himself as a girl before.

“Jesus, you’re tall” - he suddenly says, looking up at my head.

“Just some inches more than you.”

He blushes.

“And yes, you can go on and say the other thing, about my and my body size, that everyone says.”

His eyes go dark.

“Nah. I wasn’t going to say a thing. But if I did, would it be true?”

My face is probably the color of my dad’s cherry-red Mercedes in the garage.

“We’ll see.”

“I really hope we do see.” – he says and looks down, studying me.

“What is it?”

“It’s just that…eventually we’ll also maybe have to figure out if you’re a bottom or a top. That decides everything, when you’re gay.”

“Bottom? Top?”

“How did you think gay works?”

“Oh. Well, I mean, I knew one had to be…the catcher…”

“Yes, and that whole dynamic is a huge part of gay culture. You have to date someone you’re compatible with. God, you’re so clueless, it’s adorable.”

I smile, as nobody had ever called me adorable before. Only hot and strong and y.

“Speaking of that - I say - how are you single right now? Can I ask that?”

He frowns a little.

“Being a guy who dates guys is…different.”

“Why?”

“Because only fifteen percent of people are gay. So there aren’t many gay guys out there, just by the numbers…and there are even less date-able ones.”

“Let’s take a shot.” - I say out of nowhere. My head is spinning and my stomach is burning and I really just need something to calm myself before I faint. He nods, smiling, and I get a bottle of whiskey.

“Wait,