Kibum clearly understands what his hyung just told him awhile ago,

but even if try hard and give his best,

he just can’t,

he can’t yell,

he can’t get mad at him

at least not anymore,

and he definitely can’t cry,

even if he misses Ryn so much,

he can’t force his self to cry anymore,

he was just feeling numb,

he still can’t believe that everything already happened.

(Flashback)

It’s been a month since Kibum and Ryn talked, he wanted to see her very badly,

if she’ll just apologize once he will accept her again,

no need for very long explanations,

that’s how much he loves Ryn.

But the last string that bonded their love just vanished.

He was with Donghae, Sungmin and Eunhyuk, they were on their way home driving Sungmin’s car when they spotted a familiar car in the parking lot.

His eyes immediately widened when he recognized Ryn and Leeteuk together.

His heart instantly shattered when he saw Ryn checking Leeteuk’s bruise on his face, she looked very sad and hurt.

He quickly told Sungmin to stop as he felt his blood boil.

He swiftly got out of the car and walked towards them.

His eyes met his hyung, and his hyung smirked as he placed his arms on Ryn’s shoulders at once, he didn’t dare look at Ryn because he might see her smirking at him, and the thought just kills him.

With his anger reaching its limit he dashed towards the car and slammed his fist on the hood, he was about to walk and drag his hyung out but Sungmin, Eunhyuk and Donghae immediately grabbed him and pulled him away.

That was the last straw, after that he didn’t care anymore,

he wasted his time drowning his self with alcohol just to forget the pain in his chest but nothing seems to work,

he became miserable but he felt much empty by the thought of Ryn leaving him.

For two weeks he lived like a ghost,

not caring about his environment.

He was just mad,

mad to his self,

to his hyung,

and definitely he was very mad at Ryn.

One day he was walking home when he passed by the park near their dorm, he decided to sit in the swing and reminisce his memories there with Ryn.

It was the place where he showed her the couple rings he bought and slipped in into her finger, it was perfect fit, just like them, they were perfect for each other.

His thoughts were broken when another person sat on the swing beside him;

he turned and saw Ryn looking down.

His eyes automatically darted her finger and his heart sank to the lowest when he found them empty.

He didn’t even think that one day he would regret all the things he said to her this day.

“Oppa…” Ryn started still looking at the floor.

Kibum’s heart quickly wretched just hearing her voice, he quickly shut his eyes hoping that she was just again one of those imagination of his.

“I know your mad, mianhe” he heard her again say.

He felt like going insane at this point.

“I-“

“Shut up” he managed to say, still controlling his self, he turned to her and she was just sweetly smiling at him

“I understand, you really should be mad, I won’t blame you” she said again

“YOU CLEARLY DON”T UNDERSTAND!!!” he yelled,

he got up without him knowing

“I’M NOT MAD! I’M FURIOUS…"

"How-How can you do this to me? I thought you loved me…I tried my best to love you back, IS IT NOT ENOUGH?”

Ryn just stayed quiet looking at him, her face was calm, but her eyes full of sadness

“I gave my all..."

"I’m even ready to sacrifice everything I had for you..."

"BUT YOU WASTED IT!"

"AND YOU EVEN HAD TO GO WITH MY HYUNG!"

"You knew how much I respected him, YOU CLEARLY KNEW! "

"But you choose to neglect that, YOU CHOOSE TO ABANDONE ME."

"YOU’RE NO FAR FROM A ! A ING, CHEATING !”

he just realized what he just said when he saw a tear escape from Ryn’s eyes with her still smiling widely at him.

He clearly lost it;

he just ran away without thinking,

he ran away from his heart,

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

from his life.

 (Flashback ended)