A/N: Surprise! Have you guys had enough of met yet? Lol, I bet you didn't expect this. So, because you guys are such amazing readers, putting up with me and my weird fascination with angst and tears and breaking my own heart, I thought I should give you guys a small gift. 

This is just my thank you for all your support and encouragement from the time I posted the foreword to the time when I finally posted the final chapter.

So, please, accept this small token of appreciation.

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He was stirred from sleep by faint, succeeding beeps coupled with soft, racking sobs. The crying sounded so heartbreaking that they made his chest ache in sympathy.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. He was met by soft rays of sunlight peeking in from between the curtains, announcing the arrival of early morning. His eyes moved to the digital clock beside the bed – the numbers flashed 6:00a.m. He turned it off with a quick push of a button.

For a moment, he took several deep breaths and sent silent words of gratitude above for being alive, as he did every morning.

The soft sniffle broke him out of his reverie and he was reminded of why he woke up in the first place. He turned his body around to the figure beside him.

“Woohyun?” Sunggyu called softly as he sat up to scoot closer.

The younger’s face was wet with tears as he sobbed in his sleep. The vision broke Sunggyu’s heart, so he reached out to wipe the tears away.

“Hey… Woohyunnie… wake up,” he cooed, gently shaking the younger.

Slowly, Woohyun opened his eyes, blinking wearily into space, the tears continuing to fall. It took a few moments until his eyes widened in realization when they fell upon the older in front of him.

Sunggyu smiled, sweetly at him. “Good morning, jagiya,” he greeted.

Before he could comprehend what was happening, Woohyun had sat up in the speed of light and was wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

Sunggyu almost gasped in surprise, but he was used to this happening a lot, so he allowed it. He returned Woohyun’s hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

It took some time until Woohyun had calmed down enough to break the hug. His tears had stopped, but the haunted look in his eyes remained. So, Sunggyu’s solution was to kiss it away with a good morning kiss, a short one but it was sweet, just like their first.

As Woohyun composed himself, Sunggyu threw another look at the clock: 6:15am. He turned back to the younger.

“Hyun, I hate to break it to you, but it’s after 6,” he deadpanned.

The idol’s eyes widened as he grabbed his phone from the bedside table. “!” he screamed, as the numbers staring back at him confirmed his boyfriend’s claim. “I’m going to be late!”

Sunggyu couldn’t help but laugh as Woohyun literally jumped out of bed and sped to the bathroom.

Knowing that the younger needed his space to get ready, Sunggyu left their bedroom to head for the kitchen to make breakfast and pack their lunch boxes. He always made the food the night before so they would be ready to pack in the morning.

As he scooped kimchi, fried rice, vegetables, and pieces of bulgogi into one large bento box and one smaller box, his thoughts went back to the man he left in the bedroom.

The younger had been exhausted last night, didn't come home until midnight. Sunggyu, unfortunately, fell asleep while waiting for him. It made him feel guilty, but he knew that Woohyun must have been relieved that he was resting by then. After all these years, he always made sure that Sunggyu got enough rest.

It had been four years since his last chemo session, right before his 26^th birthday. That was the time he almost gave up and stopped fighting because he was so very tired of fighting. He had been ready to give it all up, live the rest of his life quietly. But, Woohyun’s angry reaction to his decision, his eventual despair, and then support for whatever Sunggyu decided... all of that rekindled his fighting spirit, his will to live.

"I want to keep fighting… For you… So I can be with you for a longer time. I’ll try again. One more time. Is that okay?"

He remembered saying that to Woohyun at the hospital. And he had never been so glad for trying one more time. 

Sunggyu had been cancer-free since then.

The first two years, he lived each day with fear and apprehension, waking up every morning with the thought, “Will it come back today?”

But, when 3 years passed and he was still as healthy as he could be, he stopped worrying.

Woohyun, however…

He felt arms snake around his waist, pulling him flush against a firm body as a nose poked at the back of his neck, sniffing him, playfully. Pausing from his preparation, Sunggyu turned around in the arms to meet Woohyun’s eyes.

The younger was no longer in dressed in his pajamas but in a v-neck shirt, cardigan, and jeans. His hair was wet from the shower and his face was bare of makeup.

“Good morning,” he greeted with a greasy smile.

Sunggyu returned it before tilting his head to the side with a concerned look. “Did you have a nightmare?”

For a moment, a haunted look flashed in Woohyun’s face as he nodded. Sunggyu knew that look very well. He had seen it many times in the year that they had been living together.

Woohyun had nightmares... really terrible ones. Sunggyu didn’t know when they started or for how long he had had them, but the younger would have nightmares about losing him, about him succumbing to that evil disease and leaving him.

The first time it happened, Sunggyu had just moved in with him. They lived in a condo unit in Yongsan that was infamous for housing top businessmen and corporate leaders – no one suspected an idol to be living there. It was perfect for them.

A week in, Sunggyu woke up to the sounds of crying and found Woohyun sobbing in his sleep. So he reacted in any way a sensible boyfriend did at that time: he freaked out. He shook Woohyun awake, asking him what was wrong and if he was hurt anywhere. At first, the younger refused to tell him what caused him to cry. But, of course, Sunggyu was stubborn and demanded it. They even had a 3-day fight because of it where they gave each other the silent treatment.

Always the first to give in, Woohyun finally told him about the nightmares. So now, Sunggyu was no longer surprised whenever it happened; he would simply wake the younger and hold him until he calmed down.

“Same one?” he asked the idol, although he already knew. It never hurt to ask, though.

Woohyun nodded again before sighing, deeply. “It felt so real,” he answered in a soft, vulnerable voice. “Always the same thing. You dying in my arms or dying in your sleep. And there was nothing I could do.”

“Hyun, maybe… you need to talk to someone?” Sunggyu said, slowly. They have had discussions about this before. It was also a frequent source of fights between them, so the older made sure to tread the subject, carefully. “That support group I told you about? We can go together and-.”

“No,” Woohyun answered, firmly. “You know I can’t.”

“It’s anonymous and-.”

“Sunggyu, no.”

His tone held finality so Sunggyu gave up. He would try again another day. But, for now, he would try to make his younger boyfriend feel better in the way he knew always worked.

“How real did it feel?” he asked, gently.

“Too real,” Woohyun mumbled with a deep frown.

“Then, let me remind you of the true reality.”

Before the younger could say anything else, Sunggyu leaned in and captured his lips with his. Almost immediately, he felt Woohyun relax in his hold as his arms held Sunggyu tighter against him. Sunggyu moved his arms to wrap around his boyfriend’s neck, his fingers playing with the little blonde hairs on the back.

The idol had dyed his hair platinum blonde for Infinite’s upcoming comeback. It contrasted nicely with Sunggyu’s own dark locks, which had grown over the years and was now thick and fluffy. He still wore his Infinite beanie when the weather was cold, though.

Woohyun carefully nibbled on Sunggyu’s lower lip, causing the older to release a soft groan. His younger boyfriend was aggressive with his kisses sometimes, especially after a nightmare. It almost felt like he wanted to drown in Sunggyu. The older didn’t mind; it meant that Woohyun had stopped treating him like a porcelain doll like the first two years they were dating.

A ring of Infinite’s “Be Mine” suddenly went off, forcing them to break apart. Woohyun groaned in annoyance as he took his phone from his pocket and seeing the caller ID: Geonam.

“Hyung?... You’re outside? I didn’t even eat breakfast!... Fine, fine, I’m coming out!”

Meanwhile, Sunggyu turned to the food on the table and pouted. He had been hoping he and Woohyun could have breakfast together. But, duty called and it was time to part for the morning. He grabbed another bento box and stuffed it to the brim with the egg omelets he made that morning along with the rest of the bulgogi. He stacked it on top of the other bento box he prepared that morning and wrapped them up in a cloth, neatly tying it at the top.

He turned around just as Woohyun hung up from the phone. The younger had an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry I can’t join you for breakfast,” he said with a pout. “But, I’m late.”

Sunggyu handed him the bentos. “Eat this on the way,” he said. “I’m sure the other guys are hungry too, so I packed extra omelets and meat for them.” He flashed the older a pointed look. “Share," he commanded.

“Why do I have to share my food with those guys?!” Woohyun whined as he took the boxes. “They take my food all the time!”

“Because you’re a good hyung who takes care of his dongsaengs while your leader is in Japan,” Sunggyu answered, smiling fondly.

Dongwoo was away doing a musical so while he was gone, Woohyun was holding down the fort as deputy leader. But, it felt like Sunggyu was the one doing most of the caretaking as he always packed extra food for the members and forced Woohyun to distribute them. He had even won the managers' good graces by packing food for them too. 

Woohyun pursed his lips in displeasure, but otherwise didn’t protest. Sunggyu walked him to the front door, where the younger put on his shoes and jacket. The older fastened his face mask for him and gently shoved a beanie over his head.

“Have a good day at work,” he said, ever the dutiful partner.

Woohyun removed his mask again and playfully puckered his lips, silently asking for a kiss. Sunggyu rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but otherwise leaned in to kiss him good-bye.

“What time do you end today?” Woohyun asked.

“Six.”

“Pick you up for dinner?”

Unable to stop himself from grinning, Sunggyu nodded, eagerly. Woohyun leaned in again for another good-bye kiss, whispered an “I love you”, and was soon off to his idol duties.

Meanwhile, Sunggyu took his time eating breakfast and watching the morning news. He texted his sister and they chatted about his 3-year old nephew, and she invited him and Woohyun to lunch next weekend. Then, he got ready for the day.

As usual, he took the elevators down from their 10th-floor apartment to the 2nd floor, then took the back stairs so he could use the back exit, and then walked to the bus stop. Taking the back doors was not only convenient for him, it also avoided suspicion about his relationship with Woohyun.

Although they had been dating for 4 years now, there was still no openly gay idol in South Korea’s entertainment industry. And Woohyun was at the peak of his career, being hired for more and more acting jobs and asked to collaborate on many songwriting projects. Not to mention, Infinite was now known internationally as one of Korea’s top 10 idol groups.

Sunggyu could not afford to be selfish and ask him to come out – even if the younger had offered.

Their relationship wasn't perfect, of course. No relationship was. Both men were stubborn, so fights were bound to happen. But, as strong as their personalities were, their feelings for each other were just as strong. Even if they were angry and couldn't stand the other's presence, they made it a point to always sleep in the same bed together. They preferred waking up disgusted with each other's face for a few days than waking up alone.

Thus, they always made up. 

Sunggyu didn’t have to wait too long for the bus to arrive; it was always on time. The older boarded and he was soon on his way to university.

After being told that he was in full remission for two years already and may continue to be so, Sunggyu finally took the initiative to enroll in an actual university instead of taking online classes like he had been doing while he was recovering from chemo.

He was now in his second year as a Music major at Korea National University of Arts. He was older than most of the students there, but that didn’t deter him from accomplishing his goals. He may be too old to train and debut as an idol now, but he could still fulfill his dream of making music by composing and producing. With Woohyun’s encouragement and never ending support (and he made his younger boyfriend swear not to interfere and allow him to do this himself), he had applied to an internship program at Woollim and had gotten accepted – he was starting in the summer.

His life was finally on track for something greater and he wasn't going to waste this chance. 

Sunggyu’s day was, for lack of a better word, normal. He dutifully went to all of his morning classes, meeting up with his classmate and friend Annie along the way. She was a foreign exchange student from America, and they were partnered for a project at the beginning of the semester. Her Korean was not the best, and Sunggyu could say the same for his English, but they helped each other out the best they could and had become great friends in the process. 

The two friends had lunch in the cafeteria and Annie chattered on and on in English. Sunggyu could only catch a few words because she was talking so fast (something about a guy named Yoon from the theater department). At some point, a familiar voice caught his attention and he lifted his head from his packed lunch to the source.

The television was showing a talk show where the guests were familiar: Han Seungyeon and Nam Woohyun. They were talking about the new drama they were both starring in as the leads.

“Now, Woohyun-shii, you and Seungyeon-shii here have some very cute and romantic on-screen interactions in this drama,” said the host, giving them a teasing smile. “What about off-screen? Anything going on there?”

She wiggled her eyebrows for good measure. The two idols laughed at the question. Sunggyu’s eye twitched.

“We’re very good friends in real life,” Woohyun answered, his idol smile perfectly in place. “We hang out with the rest of the cast sometimes and we all go out to dinner.”

“Seungyeon-shii, what’s Woohyun-shii like towards you on set?” asked the host.

“Oh, he’s the best! He’s always making sure I’m hydrated or had eaten,” replied the female idol. “He’s a perfect gentleman!”

“She forgets to eat sometimes, she’s so stubborn!” added Woohyun, flashing Seungyeon an amused look.

“Awww, so sweet! It looks like you two are so close already!” exclaimed the host.

“Sunggyu, why are you trying to break your chopsticks?”

The crisp English broke the male from his concentration on the interview. He blinked and stared down at his hands. His fingers were clutching the wooden chopsticks so tightly that any further pressure and the sticks would break. Warily, he put them down and shook his head at Annie, who was giving him a weird look.

“Nothing,” he replied in English. “Sorry.”

She pursed her lips to the side, suspiciously, before raising her gaze to the T.V. Her eyes twinkled in amusement, immediately.

“Ahhh... Nam Woohyun,” she stated and in Korean, added, “You really like him, huh?”

You have no idea, Sunggyu thought to himself. Instead, he answered, “He’s a talented artist. And I’m his number one fan, remember?”

It took a few seconds for her to comprehend the Korean, but Annie eventually nodded, sighing as she watched the T.V.

“He really is handsome,” she agreed. “My favorite is still Dongwoo though.”

Yes, Annie was an Infinite fan. And she was insanely jealous that Sunggyu got to intern at Woollim in the summer while she had to return home to America.

Sunggyu chuckled at her dreamy look as she began to babble on and on about Dongwoo now. He turned his head back to the T.V. screen – the interview was wrapping up and Woohyun and Seungyeon were inviting viewers to watch their drama that was airing soon.

He took his phone out and texted: Watched your interview about your drama. So you're close with Han Seungyeon now, huh?

He sent the text before he could talk himself out of it. Damn, he sounded so petty. But, sadly, he learned that when it came to his boyfriend, he was a jealous man.

If it was any consolation, Woohyun was a jealous man too. He was suspicious of Annie's intentions for a month until Sunggyu had to remind him that although he liked both genders, he preferred men... Which was why he was dating a man in the first place! It calmed the idol down... until a new project partner who was a man this time came into the picture. Poor, Hyunshik. He couldn't understand why a man wearing a beanie and a bunny face mask had threatened him to stay away from Sunggyu before boldly proclaiming that the hamster was his. Sunggyu couldn't face the younger student for weeks!

His phone buzzed soon and he checked to see a reply from the man on the T.V.: Don’t be jealous of Seungyeon-noona. You’re still prettier.

Sunggyu scoffed, but smiled as he typed a reply: I’m not pretty, I’m a man.

A few seconds later, the reply came: You’re pretty to me. <3

His eye twitched at the heart emoticon. He replied with: Aren’t you supposed to be shooting that CF?

The next reply took a little longer than the last: Lunch break. Guys say thank you for the breakfast this morning. Yeol wants to marry you but I said no.

Sunggyu chuckled this time: Tell him thanks but no thanks. My type is someone else.

He waited a few seconds and sent a follow-up text: It’s Myungsoo.

The reply was instant: Hyung! TT_TT

“So are you ever going to introduce me to your boyfriend?” Annie asked, in hesitant Korean. As an American, she was much more open-minded than most of their classmates and kept goading him to introduce his boyfriend.

She was smirking at him as he typed his response.

But seeing as Myungsoo is not attracted to men, you’re the next best thing.

He looked up to reply to Annie, “Maybe someday. But, it’s not a good time for him right now. You know…”

He let the sentence hang and Annie nodded in understanding.

His phone buzzed again: Hyung, you're so mean! But I love you anyway. :3

Sunggyu's cheeks burned as his heart thumped loudly against his rib cage. Woohyun never failed to make him feel so... alive.

The two friends went back to their lunch, discussing their classes, and Sunggyu occasionally texting Woohyun until the younger had to go back to shooting.

The rest of his day was uneventful. Just classes, playing around in the music rooms with his classmates, helping a hoobae with a composition.

Soon, his last class of the day ended exactly at 6 p.m.

After bidding his classmates goodbye with a promise to join them for a study session next week, Sunggyu headed for the parking lot, trying not to notice the slight excited skip in his steps as he went.

Already waiting was a familiar dark blue BMW with tinted windows. Unable to stop the smile from tugging at his lips, the music major hastened his pace to reach the car. The door was already unlocked so he quickly went in, throwing his backpack in the backseat.

Before he could greet the driver, he was pulled into a mind-blowing and passionate kiss that had him closing his eyes and sighing in bliss. He felt the familiar comforting warmth of happiness in his chest and the plain sense of contentment and he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

If there was anything in this world that Sunggyu was grateful for being alive for, it was moments like these.

When Woohyun let him go, the older took a moment to look at his idol boyfriend: his bright brown eyes filled with love and affection, his sharp nose that could cut through anyone’s cold heart, his cute dimples that could make the angels sing, and his y lips that knew exactly how to set fire to his body.

Okay, so Woohyun’s greasiness had rubbed off on Sunggyu, sue him. Being with the guy for four years, it was bound to happen. Not that he would tell him all these, of course. It was Sunggyu’s little secret. Like how his Appa had warmed up to his boyfriend but chose to play around with him and pretend that he didn’t like him.

“How was your day?” the idol asked, breaking Sunggyu’s musings.

“It was good, but I have a lot of projects for next week and we have a test too!” he whined.

Woohyun began to back out of his parking spot and drive to their next destination. “Does that mean you’ll be busy all weekend?” he asked.

“Yes,” Sunggyu answered then puffed his cheeks. “Besides, it’s good distraction since you’re working, anyway.”

He pouted a little and Woohyun sent him a small, guilty look. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know you will.” Sunggyu responded with a reassuring smile.

Of course, he understood. His boyfriend wasn’t a regular guy who worked 9-5 and had weekends off. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even be home until the early mornings when Sunggyu was already asleep. He was also away a lot and for long periods of time, to other districts or overseas. And he kissed women in front of the camera.

Sunggyu would be lying if he said he didn’t wish for more, that he didn’t wish for them to have a somewhat normal relationship, to just go out and be together without people batting an eyelash or ruining the idol's career. He wished he could be selfish, for once.

But, now, as he looked at Woohyun, contentedly driving them to a date that he managed to squeeze in despite his busy schedule, Sunggyu really couldn’t be selfish. The younger was doing his best, as he had always done, even back when Sunggyu was weak and could barely leave the house without bundling up and wearing a mask. Even if he didn't have time... Woohyun always made time for Sunggyu.

The only difference now was that time was no longer against them. They were gifted time. And they would be damned if they wasted it focusing on what they didn’t have rather than all the wonderful things they already did.

“You seem to be really thinking deeply about something, jagiya,” Woohyun’s voice broke through his thoughts again. “Are you upset with me?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu said, honestly. “But, I know you’ll fulfill your promise.”

He smiled at the blonde who smiled right back. His eyes not leaving the road, Woohyun reached over with one hand and took one of his own. He lifted Sunggyu’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

Yes, tiny moments like this was a gift from time.

 

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“I love you.”

Sunggyu raised his head to meet Woohyun’s affectionate gaze. “Good,” he said, before cuddling closer to his boyfriend’s warm body, his legs tangling with the other’s as he tried to calm his breath.

The older buried his nose against the younger’s bare chest, inhaling the scent that was a mix of Woohyun’s natural musk, sweat, and the aftermath of their passionate lovemaking. He could still feel the burn of the younger's touches on his bare skin, the burst of pain and pleasure from their joining, and the love from each press of their lips. 

It was a feeling that they couldn't seem to ever get enough of. Each one just left them wanting more and more.

Sunggyu shivered slightly from the cold air, which didn’t escape the blonde’s notice. Woohyun grabbed the edge of the comforter and pulled it up to their chins, covering their bare bodies.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” Woohyun asked, pouting, his voice still husky.

Sunggyu, silently pecked his chest in response. The younger let out another whine, which made the older chuckle at his childishness, still apparent despite the very adult activity they just finished.

They stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms, allowing their fast heartbeats to slow down to steady rhythms again.

Four years ago, Sunggyu had been ready to accept his fate. He was prepared to leave Nam Woohyun to find his happiness in someone else who could love him for a long time, whose future was certain, unlike his.

But, now, feeling the bliss and happiness of being in love and staying in love in the past four years, Sunggyu didn’t want to let this go anymore.

His doctor had cautioned him that the cancer still had a chance of returning. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or next week or next month or next year, but someday, in the far off future. And Woohyun knew that too.

“Gyu?”

“Hmm?”

“What will you do if it comes back?” Woohyun asked in a soft voice, his fingers playing with Sunggyu’s dark strands.

Woohyun needed to be reassured. He always asked that question every time he had that terrible nightmare. And Sunggyu’s answer was always the same.

“I’ll fight it.”

The arms around him tightened and he responded by pressing himself closer to the firm body beside him.

“You won’t let me go, right?” Sunggyu asked.

“Never. We’ll fight it together.”

A short, silent pause. And then... "I love you too. So much."

The older felt fingers under his chin lifting his head up to meet Woohyun’s loving eyes. “We have all the time in the world now,” he said, thumb Sunggyu’s cheek. “Will you stay with me?”

“Until time ends,” Sunggyu immediately answered.

“Greasy.”

“I learned from the best.”

Woohyun leaned in to press his lips to Sunggyu’s, his kisses sealed with silent promises that they had every intention of keeping.

Time flies. It goes by fast. In the blink of an eye, it’s gone. So, when you have time, don’t waste it. Spend that time loving.

And that was what Woohyun and Sunggyu intended to do for the rest of time... until it ends.

But, for now… they have this.  

 

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A/N: So, I had actually started thinking about this when I was writing Chapter 10. And I started writing a few lines while finishing Chapter 11. And by the time I started writing Chapter 13, I knew I wanted to give this to you guys as a gift, for being so amazing to me throughout this story.

Consider this as a sort of Alternate Ending, a what-would-have-been. I also want to make it clear that this is NOT the true ending of the story, I still stand by my original, but I wrote it to help ease your pain a bit, so if you accept this as the true ending, feel free to do so because it's not easy to accept sad endings sometimes. I would know, I sobbed like a baby writing Chapter 13.

As you can see, in this ending, Sunggyu is alive, but Woohyun is now suffering from mild PTSD, which is actually possible for some family, friends, and caregivers of cancer patients and even cancer patients themselves, to have post-cancer. According to my research, there are therapies and support groups for this, but obviously, you have to choose to use them. Ahhh, I felt so mean giving Woohyun PTSD, but it all can't be sunshine and rainbow, ya know? But, Woohyun and Sunggyu are lucky, in a way, because they have each other as supports.

So, yes, time. Time can be against you. But, if you learn how to use it well and not waste it, it becomes a gift. Don't waste your time, chingus. Love and be loved.

Until the next time!