A/N: **bows** I'm so sorry.

 

---

 

“…I’ll wait for you now until time stops… If I can find you, I’ll wait for you now, until I can breathe again…”

Woohyun held the note and slowly let his voice fade away as the music played its final bars. The music cut and he looked up to see the music director clapping.

“Great job, Woohyun!” the older man complimented, clapping as the idol removed the headphones and exited the recording booth. “I gotta say, I was skeptical with this song at first, but it’s beautiful! Sad, but beautiful! Very Nam Woohyun!"

The idol grinned. “Thanks, hyung. I’m glad you like it.”

“So, I’ll have the mp3s ready for you in about… three days? I’ll give them to your manager.” He looked curiously at the idol. “So, why did you want copies again? You’re not planning on leaking these, are you?”

Woohyun laughed as he put on his jacket. “No! That’s not it. I just want to show them to someone whose opinion matters a lot to me.”

“Ahhh.” The musical director nodded in understanding as he grinned. “Girlfriend?”

Again, Woohyun laughed and shook his head. “Nope, I don’t have a girlfriend. He’s someone very important to me.”

“You know it’s just you and me here, Woohyun. Nothing leaves this room.”

The idol smiled. “I know, hyung. I trust you. Anyway, we’re done, right?”

“Oh, yes. You’re good to go! This album will be a hit, Woohyun, I know it will.”

“Thanks, hyung!”

Bidding the Music Director good-bye, Woohyun left the studio with a spring in his step. Being done with recording meant one thing: he was free for the rest of the day!

Whistling as he fished his phone out of his pocket, he headed towards Woollim’s parking lot to meet his waiting manager. Right before he got outside, he called Sunggyu.

“Are you home?” he asked, looking around warily to watch for eavesdroppers and prying eyes.

“Yes, Noona went to work.”

“Can I come over?”

“No.”

“Hyuuuung!”

“I don’t know why you bother asking. You come whether I say yes or not.”

“So… can I?”

A sigh. “Yes, jagiya, you can come over.”

Woohyun could not stop the goofy grin from appearing on his lips. “I can rent some DVDs and buy popcorn. How’s that?”

“Call! I’ll leave the gate open for you.”

“Great!” The idol looked around for a bit before whispering into the phone, “I love you.”

On the other line, Sunggyu chuckled. “I love you too.”

He hung up and practically skipped to his manager’s van.

He had Geonam stop by the rental store to pick up some movies and a convenience store for popcorn before the manager would drive him to Sunggyu’s. It was safer and much easier than having Woohyun take a taxi. One advantage to having his managers know of his relationship was that he could get rides to and from his dates.

He played some games on his phone on the way, occasionally texting his boyfriend where he was and that he would be there soon. They were stuck in the middle of traffic when Geonam finally attempted a conversation.

“So, Woohyun, how are you and Sunggyu-shii?” the manager asked, nonchalantly.

Woohyun paused his game and looked up to answer him with a fond smile. “We’re great! I can’t wait to see him. It’s been a while.”

“Uh… It’s only been 3 days since you met up.”

“Yeah, but it felt like 3 years.”

Geonam raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, which made Woohyun laugh.

“I just miss him when we’re apart,” the idol continued. “It’s difficult that I can’t see him as much as I want, with the album preparation and all. And he doesn’t want to take up much of my time so he just waits until I have some time off.”

The manager hummed. “He’s really supportive, huh?”

Woohyun’s smile widened as he thought of the times Sunggyu would text him a “Fighting!” or just to say that he watched him on some show on T.V. or to update him on what the other fans have been saying about him and Infinite on the fan cafe and social media.

“Yeah… He really is.”

Geonam cleared his throat. “It’s been a month since his… chemo, right?”

Both of Sunggyu’s treatments went well and his condition had been better. But, as Woohyun learned last month, just because he was fine for a couple of months or even up to a year, it did not mean the cancer was fully gone. And that made him anxious, always wondering if the symptoms would show up again that day or the next day or the day after.

“Um… yeah… But, he’s good! He’s doing chores around the house again and going out sometimes. He even started looking at online classes. He wants to go back to school.”

The traffic was moving gradually now and soon, they would reach the Kims’ neighborhood.

“Woohyun, I know you worry about him, I understand, I really do.” Geonam paused for a moment to sigh. “But we can’t have you distracted. Your debut is next month and the official announcement is going out next week. Your schedule will be full and we can’t let you go off all the time, you need to rest when you can.”

“Sunggyu lets me nap when I’m over,” Woohyun said, quickly. “And the recording is done too. There’s just the MV filming and the photo shoot for the album jacket. I should be fine, hyung.”

“Don’t forget, you’ll also be having tons of interviews for T.V., radio, and magazines,” Geonam reminded him. “It may not seem like a lot, but you’ve been in this business for some time now. You know that you can get burnt out if you don’t rest properly. I’m just worried about you, Woohyun.”

“I’m fine, hyung, really. Sunggyu-hyung takes good care of me.”

Geonam sighed. “And what if something happens again? Woohyun, you can’t compromise your entire career for a boyfriend of only a few months.”

Actually, Woohyun would but he knew better than to say that to his manager. So, instead, he said, “I can work on my album and date Sunggyu at the same time. I’ll be fine. I know my limits and so does he. I got this, hyung. Don’t you believe in me?”

“I do, it’s just that…” The manager sighed again. “Just remember to take care of yourself too, okay? And be careful.”

“I will, hyung. Don’t worry.”

They finally made it to the Kims’ house and Woohyun put on his bunny mask and a beanie and grabbed his bag of DVD’s and popcorn. Geonam told him to be ready for pickup by 6pm as he left the car. The manager waited until he entered through the gate and was walking up the path before driving away.

Before he could knock, the door opened to reveal Sunggyu. “I heard the gate,” he explained, stepping aside to let Woohyun in.

After the door closed behind them, Woohyun dropped the bags on the floor and pulled him in for a kiss, arms going around the older’s waist, while Sunggyu wrapped his own around Woohyun’s neck.

When they broke apart, Woohyun flashed a greasy smile. “Hi, beautiful.”

Sunggyu wrinkled his nose. “I’m a man.”

“A man can be beautiful too, and you definitely are.”

Scoffing, the older pulled away from him and grabbed the bags. Without another word, he headed over to the living room to set up a DVD. On the coffee table were already laid a can of soda for Woohyun and a glass of water for Sunggyu.

The movie they picked was called “The Classic” with Son Ye Jin and Jo Seung Woo. It was somewhat of a tragic romance of the past that paralleled the present. By the end of it, Sunggyu was crying and Woohyun did his best to keep his tears at bay.

“Yah! Why do you always pick sad movies?!” Sunggyu whined, hitting Woohyun’s arm as the idol moved to turn the T.V. off. “You’re so mean! Do you just want to see me cry?!”

The idol only pulled him into his arms, rubbing his back, whispering his “sorry” over and over again.

“But it was nice, right hyung?” he said with a greasy smile. “Love still won in the end.”

Sunggyu sniffled. “Did they have to suffer so much?!”

“That’s when you cherish love the most.”

The older pouted at him. “I don’t like it.”

Woohyun chuckled and pulled him into his arms and looked him in the eyes. “Should I try to make you feel better?”

Sunggyu didn’t respond, only sighed and laid his head against Woohyun’s chest, arms tightening around the younger.

“I don’t like it,” he repeated in a whisper. “I don’t like that they have to suffer. I don’t like that their circumstances were against them. They should be able to love freely without being in so much pain.”

Woohyun was fairly sure that Sunggyu wasn’t talking about the movie anymore. All of a sudden, he regretted not looking up the plot of the movie before renting it. He was making his boyfriend sad, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, listen to me. Are you listening?”

Sunggyu hummed in response.

“The suffering was painful for them, yes. But, you know why I still think it was a beautiful love story?”

“Why?”

“Because with every letter they wrote to each other, with every moment they spent together, with every word of love they said to each other, it was all so precious. They all became precious memories that they carried with them until the end.”

“Those memories should have been painful then.”

“No, they’re not, jagiya. Those were happy memories. There may be a little pain associated with them for a while, but eventually, the pain will fade and they will look back on those memories with fondness. Because for that moment, they were happy and in love. No pain or amount of suffering can beat that.”

There was only silence for a few moments. Woohyun realized that as he spoke, the tears he held earlier were now dripping from his eyes. He hoped Sunggyu wouldn’t notice.

The arms around him loosened as Sunggyu gently pulled away from him. He looked surprised at the tears on Woohyun’s face and moved to wipe them away.

“Will you remember me with fondness, then?” he asked, softly. “You suffered so much with me. Would my memory bring you pain and happiness?”

Woohyun was struck by the question. Of course, he had thought about it, several times in the last month alone. Almost losing Sunggyu was enough to make him think all sorts of terrible scenarios. He and Sunggyu often avoided talking about it, but he knew that the older thought about it too.

Tenderly, he placed a hand against Sunggyu’s cheek. “Every moment we spend together, and every word I said to you and you to me are precious,” he answered. “Remember that, okay?”

The older’s lips quirked into a small smile. “Okay.” He sat up and stared at the rest of the DVDs. “Now, can we pick something happier, please?!”

The heavy feeling in the idol’s chest disappeared at the annoyed scowl on his boyfriend’s face.

They picked a Japanese animated film next. As they watched, cuddled on the couch, Woohyun could not help but hold Sunggyu tighter against him, not willing to let him go.

+++++++

As he promised, the Musical Director sent the mp3s of Woohyun’s songs to his manager who then passed them on to the ecstatic vocalist. He imported the songs to his phone and as soon as he had a window of free time in his busy schedule, he, of course, went to see his boyfriend.

Sunggyu would be the first fan to hear the songs from his solo album.

They were in the living room, sitting side-by-side on the couch, with Sunggyu listening to one of the tracks through headphones. His eyes were staring blankly at the coffee table, lips pursed in concentration.

Woohyun thought he looked incredibly adorable and wished he could take a photo.

When the song was over, Sunggyu removed the headphones and turned to his younger boyfriend. “This is your title track?” he asked.

The latter nodded. “What do you think?”

“It’s nice.” Sunggyu paused. “You didn’t write it.”

Woohyun quirked an eyebrow. “How did you know?”

Sunggyu shrugged. “It wasn’t a bad song, it was good. Perfect for your voice too. But… it didn’t sound like you. Your songs always have a certain quality to them. I don’t know how to explain it, but… I couldn’t see Nam Woohyun in this song.”

The idol’s heart skipped a beat, and he grinned as he placed his hands on the older’s cheeks and squished them. “Aigoo, my boyfriend knows me so well.” He released his face and picked up the phone again. “Listen to another one and guess if this is one I wrote.”

When Sunggyu had the headphones on, he played the next song and waited. Again, the older looked adorably focused on the song. Woohyun just wanted to squeeze him.

“This is yours,” Sunggyu stated, halfway through the song.

Woohyun grinned again. “You’re right! Awww, my boyfriend is amazing!”

He found it incredibly heartwarming that Sunggyu could see his personality through his songs.

Sunggyu chuckled. “How can it not be? The lyrics are greasy!”

At that, the younger pouted. “Hyuuuuung,” he whined. “Why are you so mean to me, when I love you so much?!”

The older only laughed, pecking his nose before demanding to hear the rest of the songs. Woohyun played them all one-by-one and Sunggyu correctly which ones he had written and which ones he didn’t. As his thumb hovered on the last track, the younger hesitated.

Sunggyu gave him a questioning look.

“Hmmm… I think I’ll just have you wait until the album comes out to listen to this, hyung.”

“Huh? Why?”

Woohyun took back his headphones and turned his phone off, putting them on the coffee table. “It’s the bonus track… and… I’m actually… not really sure… about it… yet.”

The older tilted his head to the side. “Why?”

But Woohyun shook his head and flashed a bright smile, instead. “So, what did you think? Will it do well?”

Sunggyu scoffed. “You’re Nam Woohyun, of course, it will do well!” He smiled. “I like it a lot. It’s all very… sad, though. But, I like it. Thank you for letting me be the first to hear it, Hyun.” The older bit his lip and looked at the clock. “How much time do you have left?”

“Hmm… about an hour? I have a photoshoot for the album jacket.”

“Ahhh.” Sunggyu scooted closer and gently pushed Woohyun down onto the sofa before curling up to his side. “Let’s nap then.”

Suddenly, the younger felt nervous. The last time Sunggyu always seemed tired…

“I had a late night last night,” the older said, seemingly reading his mind. “I re-watched Infinite’s Weekly Idol episodes and didn’t notice the time.”

The admission made Woohyun’s heart ache. The older must have missed him a lot.

“Hyung, you shouldn’t be tiring yourself out!” he scolded, tightening his hold around Sunggyu’s waist. “No more late nights, got that?”

The older laughed and looked up at him, eyes slanted into crescents. “Okay, okay.”

“Promise?” Woohyun held out his pinky.

Sunggyu wrapped his own around it. “Promise. Now, let’s sleep.”

The older closed his eyes, burrowing his nose into Woohyun’s chest. The latter wasn’t tired at all, so he simply held the older against him, heart hammering against his chest in fear.

Was this what Sunghee and her family felt like in the last 7 years? Waking up every day, afraid that it might be Sunggyu’s last day… that every little thing might be nothing or something at the same time? Woohyun now understood what Sunghee meant when she said there were times when she felt like giving up, when she had mental and emotional breakdowns. Fear was a terrible feeling, and to live with it every day, having to put on a smile for the person you fear for the most, it was exhausting.

But, as Woohyun watched his slumbering boyfriend pressed up against him, content and peaceful, he knew he wouldn’t change anything. He would still be with Sunggyu. He was happy with Sunggyu. And he would be strong for Sunggyu.

“Love you,” he whispered against the older’s forehead, pressing a kiss to it.

The hour passed, too swiftly for the idol’s liking, but he received a text from his manager, telling him that he was 10 minutes away. So, he gently shook his boyfriend awake and somberly announced that he had to go.

Sunggyu pouted as he watched the younger grab his things.

“I don’t know when I can see you next,” Woohyun said as the older walked him to the door. “I have the MV filming starting tomorrow and a couple of interviews, and Infinite is doing some performances so I have to practice. But I’ll call you, okay?”

Sunggyu nodded.

“Don’t stay up late anymore. And eat well.”

He nodded again.

Woohyun placed his hands on the older’s cheeks and leaned in to kiss him good-bye. Sunggyu wrapped his arms around his neck and tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss. The idol could feel his heart swell in happiness because his boyfriend was acting rather clingy again, though he couldn’t blame him. He’d been very busy in the last couple of weeks and he would be in the next two before his album officially released. He knew that Sunggyu understood… he always did.

After exchanging one last heartfelt “I love you” and a cute eskimo kiss, the couple parted.

 

+++++++

 

Two weeks passed by in a blur. Woohyun was carted off from photo shoot to photo shoot, one filming location to another, interview after interview, vocal practices, dance practices, and variety show appearances. By the end of each day, he rarely had any time to chat with Sunggyu, usually sending him a few quick texts and falling asleep with his phone in his hand.

His older boyfriend never complained, simply continued texting him encouragement and reminders to eat and sleep. Sometimes, he sent cute selcas that put smiles on Woohyun’s face.

Before he knew it, the day came: his solo debut album was officially out.

He received copies, of course, so the first thing he did the morning of the release was to have Geonam drive him to Sunggyu’s. It was still early in the morning, but he had several radio interviews to get to and a variety show appearance in the afternoon, so he had to be up early.

He rang the doorbell and waited until Minkyu came out to let him in.

“Is Gyu still asleep?” he asked, as he followed the older man inside.

“He just woke up, so you’re in luck.”

Seated on the couch in his pajamas watching a morning show was Sunggyu. He was wrapped up in a blanket with a bowl of cereal in his hands. He looked up when Woohyun entered, eyes wide in surprise.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, putting his cereal on the coffee table before scooting to the side to make room for the younger. “I thought you have schedules today?”

“I do.” Woohyun settled next to him. “I just wanted to drop something off.”

He reached into the gift bag he had with him and took out an album – his album.

Sunggyu gasped. “Is that…?”

Woohyun chuckled as he nodded. “It’s for you. And look.” He reached into the bag again and took out a marker. “I’ll even sign it for you. ‘To Sunggyu, My one and only, my heart sings for you. Love, Woohyunnie.’”

He finished off the autograph with a heart and a kiss before handing it to a thunderstruck Sunggyu, who took it with delicate hands.

“I… I could have gotten it myself,” he stated, fingers gingerly running over Woohyun’s photo on the cover. Then, he grinned mischievously at the younger. “A signed album by Nam Woohyun… should I sell it on the internet?”

Woohyun pouted, exaggeratedly. “Hyuuuung,” he whined. “This copy is special! It has my love in it! I even kissed it!”

The older laughed and it warmed the idol’s heart to hear it. He watched as Sunggyu opened the album and looked through the photo book, smiling and caressing Woohyun’s images. He even let out an excited squeak when he found the photo card. As much as Woohyun wanted to stay and marvel at his boyfriend's cuteness, the little beeps from his cellphone alerted him to his manager texting him to hurry up.

“Gyu, I have to go,” he said, regretfully.

His boyfriend’s face fell in disappointment. “Oh, right, your schedules.” He forced a smile, instead. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

He made a move to get up but Woohyun held out an arm to stop him. “No, I can see myself out. Just stay and rest.” He leaned in to press a sweet kiss on the slightly-chapped lips. “Listen to the album and enjoy it, okay? And don’t miss the bonus track, it’s for you.”

He kissed him one more time before getting up from the couch. He called out a goodbye to Minkyu in the kitchen and took one last glance at Sunggyu, throwing him a heart with his fingers.

The older playfully stuck his tongue out at him as Woohyun left for his daily schedule.

A few hours later, while getting his makeup done before an interview, he received a text from Sunggyu:

Yah! Why is your bonus track so sad, huh?! You wrote it for me?! It’s so sad! You meanie! Why do you always want to make me cry?! And that dedication! What’s up with that?! ‘To that special person, my home is with you.’ Yah! Are you trying to reveal our relationship now?! You better have an explanation for this, Nam Woohyun!

The idol chuckled in amusement and simply responded with: Love you ^_^ <3

 

+++++++

 

If there was anything that could calm the stormy thoughts in Woohyun’s mind and ease away the tension in his muscles after a hard day’s work, it was Sunggyu pressed against him, straddled on his lap, their lips attached.

The older may be rough and stubborn, but when it came to intimate touches, he was shy but eager. Very eager.

Woohyun hummed in satisfaction as Sunggyu’s lips moved sensually over his, the older’s hands shyly exploring the contours of his chest and the muscles of his arms, leaving fire behind with every touch. The idol’s own hands were wandering, feeling the warm skin and the little goosebumps against his fingertips, loving the little whines and moans emitting from his boyfriend’s lips.

There were moments that Woohyun wished would last forever, and this was one of them.

When they pulled away for air, both were flushed and breathing heavily. Woohyun was smiling a goofy smile, squealing in delight at the blush painting Sunggyu’s cheeks.

“Why do you always have to distract me?” Sunggyu complained, pouting.

Woohyun only laughed, but didn’t answer.

The idol had finished his schedules early for the day, so naturally, he was spending the rest of it with Sunggyu. It had been a week and a half since he had dropped off his album for the older, and after that, there wasn’t any time to spend with each other, so Woohyun seized the opportunity when it arose.

Sunggyu was home alone, his sister and her husband both at work, so here they were, making out in his bedroom. Sometimes, Woohyun wondered if the older had ulterior motives for always bringing him into his room whenever they had an entire afternoon with each other.

“Yah, answer my question from before!” Sunggyu insisted, cheeks puffed in annoyance.

“Hmm… What was it again?” Woohyun asked, leaning back against the headboard, though he perfectly knew what that question was.

“Why did you write that bonus track? And don’t you lie to me or I’m leaving this room.”

“Ahhh, right. Why? Do you hate it?”

“No, it’s not that! It’s a beautiful song! It’s just that…” The older bit his lip. “Why did you write it?”

“Hmmm…” The younger’s fingers played with the key necklace dangling from the older’s neck as he replied. “Well… I was sad.” He looked up to meet Sunggyu’s eyes. “I wrote it the night you told me your cancer was back and you didn’t want treatment anymore.”

He watched as the guilt settled in Sunggyu’s eyes and he leaned in to kiss his nose. “Don’t. I needed to let my anger and sadness out. It became a song.”

“I… I’m sorry-.”

“Don’t,” Woohyun said again, pulling him much closer. “I wrote that song for you, to tell you that time may not be on our side, but I’m going to be fighting against it in any way I can.”

“But, Woohyun, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. I’m sorry-.”

“No, don’t say sorry.” He leaned his forehead against the older’s. “I told you once, didn’t I? Never say sorry for being in my life.”

The guilt was still in Sunggyu’s eyes, his pretty pink lips set in a frown. Woohyun didn’t like that. He knew that simple aegyo wouldn’t suffice this time. He needed to step it up a notch.

So, even though he knew Sunggyu would most likely kick him for it later, he brought his fingers to the elder’s side… and pinched him. The older yelped, moving to get off of him, but Woohyun was quicker. He grabbed the older by the waist and rolled them over on the bed. He then wasted no time and began tickling the older’s sides.

Sunggyu released loud bouts of laughter, both delighted and irritated. His legs were flailing in attempts to kick Woohyun off of him, his mouth running with colorful phrases of curse words and threats to the idol.

Suddenly, Woohyun stopped his ministrations and before Sunggyu could attempt to push him off again, the younger leaned down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. The older struggled for a few seconds before resigning himself to the kiss with a soft sigh. His fists, earlier pounding against Woohyun’s chest, wound around the younger’s neck, bringing him closer.

The younger felt an indescribable fire erupt from their conjoined lips and spread throughout the rest of his body, down to his stomach, and even further. When he pulled away, Sunggyu’s eyes were lidded as they stared at him, his lips swollen.

Their eyes connected and Woohyun saw something new in those eyes. His stomach lurched in anticipation, his heart pounding against his chest; he had a wild guess on what that something was. And he was 100 percent sure that they were reflected on his own eyes too.

His suspicion was confirmed and his excitement grew when Sunggyu leaned into him and seductively whispered against his lips, “I’m ready.”

They gave each other their most precious possession that very afternoon.

 

+++++++

 

A month later, Woohyun was backstage during a music show, his very last one before promotions for his solo were officially over. He had already finished performing and was now just watching the other contenders of the show.

He had already won once, and for the idol, that was enough. He had proven himself by releasing a solo, half of the songs composed by himself, and the hard copies sold out within minutes of release. And he had a proud secret boyfriend who wouldn’t stop singing his praises on the internet to anyone who would listen.

He was relieved that it was finally over. He almost didn’t get to spend Sunggyu’s birthday with him, but thank goodness, Geonam took pity on him and cleared his evening. The idol took his boyfriend and his family to Boohyun’s restaurant. Although Mr. Kim still seemed cold and distant towards him, Sunggyu didn’t seem worried, so neither was he. It was one of the most wonderful dinners he had ever attended, and not just for the food, but also for the company with him.

All in all, the idol was satisfied and content with his current life. He had a booming career, family and band mates who supported him, and a loving boyfriend. He was stressed out, yes, but he was happy.

But, as we learn, it wasn’t always smooth sailing.

While watching the show from backstage, Woohyun checked his phone and was greeted by missed calls and a frantic voice mail from Sunghee.

“Woohyun, I’m so sorry for contacting you, I know you’re busy, but Sunggyu… He had a small fever yesterday, but he said he was fine. But, it got worse this morning and he fainted and we’re at the hospital right now…”

He didn’t even finish listening to the voicemail, already running around backstage looking for his manager. When he found Hyoan, he begged the older man to take him to the hospital, right that second.

“Woohyun, you can’t-.”

“Please, hyung! Gyu needs me!”

“Will you quiet down? You’re practically announcing… it.”

“I don’t care! I need to go!”

He made to leave, but the manager grabbed his arm a little too harshly and dragged him to a deserted corner. “Listen here, Nam Woohyun. You are an idol and you have an obligation to stand out there and greet your fans, whether you win or not. Sunggyu-shii can wait.”

“No, he can’t! Can’t you see, hyung?!” Tears were now pooling to the edge of Woohyun’s eyes, and around them, other idols and staff alike shot them curious looks. “We don’t have much time! I need to be there! I-.”

“Get a hold of yourself!” Hyoan roared, shaking him a little before releasing him. The manager placed a tired hand over his eyes. “This is why I was skeptical about this whole thing from the beginning. You’re starting to neglect everything you worked hard for just for this guy. Do you know what you’re wasting here, Woohyun?!”

But the idol’s tears didn’t stop as he stared back at his manager in defiance. “I love him, hyung. If I have to give this all up to stay by his side, I would. But, he won’t let me.”

“Is that so? Then do you think he’d be happy with this then? With you running off in the middle of a music show? Do you think he would be happy that you left a music show, disappointing your fans, for him? You know him better than I do, Woohyun. Think about how he would react then.”

That finally stopped the idol in his tracks. As much as it pained him, Hyoan was right this time. Sunggyu never wanted his condition to stop Woohyun from his idol responsibilities, the older wasn’t selfish. He settled with whatever Woohyun could manage to offer.

With a heavy heart, he stayed for the rest of the show, sending Sunghee a text that he would get there as soon as he was done.

Woohyun stood on stage with two rookie groups and another soloist from another band. He politely clapped and congratulated the girl group that won. Once the mic was off of him and he had changed from his stage outfit into regular clothes, he didn’t bother with having his make-up removed. He rushed out of there, jumping into Hyoan’s car and begging the manager to drive as fast as he could.

When he arrived, Sunggyu was sitting up on the bed, his left arm attached to an IV. His face was sickly pale, eyes watery and barely focused as Woohyun approached.

Sunghee sat dazed on the couch, Minkyu holding her in his arms. He bowed to them, quickly before approaching the bed.

“Gyu?”

The older’s lips trembled as he responded, “They did more tests. We’ll know in three days.” He finally met Woohyun’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Woohyun.”

The younger’s heart clenched, painfully, that heavy feeling he thought he could avoid for much longer was back. It pressed against his chest, and he struggled to breathe.

Not caring that they had an audience, Woohyun toed off his sneakers and climbed into the bed. He gently pulled the older into his arms, laying his head against his chest.

“Whatever it is, I’m not leaving,” he whispered to him. “I’m here, okay? I’m not leaving.”

He could feel the tears about to flow out again, but he held them in. He had to be strong.

The older was in his arms all day, and he refused to let go until he had to leave.

Three days later, Woohyun arrived at the hospital just a little before Sunggyu’s doctor came in. He sat on the bed, the older leaning against him, as they waited for Dr. Choi.

The room was quiet. Sunghee was reading a book but had not turned a page in the last ten minutes. Minkyu’s gaze hopped from his phone to his wife to his brother-in-law and back to his phone.

Suffice to say, when Dr. Choi finally arrived, the sober mood in the room turned tensed.

Dr. Choi was an experienced doctor, already in his 50’s and had been working in that hospital for 30 years. He was recommended by the Kims’ family doctor in Jeonju when Sunggyu was diagnosed, and thus, he had been there from the very beginning. He didn’t even bat an eyelash when Woohyun was introduced as a very close friend and was sworn to secrecy about the idol being there. The family trusted him.

The doctor flashed Sunggyu an encouraging smile. “Hello, Sunggyu. How are you feeling?”

“You know that I’d rather have this over with, seonsaengnim,” the other replied, no hint of a smile on his face. “Tell me… Is it back? Again?”

Dr. Choi’s face was unreadable. “After your last treatment, your results came back positive. We couldn’t find a speck of cancer cells left. But, as you already know, they can gradually re-develop. Before, the cells took their time, they were dormant, which was why we believed you were in remission. But, this time, they re-developed much faster than we realized and-.”

“So I relapsed? Again?” Sunggyu’s voice was cold and hard.

It sent an unpleasant shiver down Woohyun’s spine; he had only heard him use that tone once before, during their second meeting.

Dr. Choi sighed in regret. “I’m sorry, Sunggyu.”

Woohyun felt wetness fall on his arm and to his shock, they were tears silently falling from Sunggyu’s eyes.

“I can arrange for your treatment, but seeing as you just had one a few months ago, we’ll wait another week or so to allow your body to recover and-.”

“No.”

His voice rang out loud and clear in the room. Sunghee let out a gasp. Minkyu’s eyes widened in alarm. Woohyun felt his entire body go cold.

The doctor faltered on his spot, unable to go on.

“I-I won’t do it,” Sunggyu continued, voice trembling as his body shook in Woohyun’s hold. “I… I can’t… I can’t do this anymore! Why?! Why me?! Why can’t I just live?!”

And to Woohyun’s alarm, Sunggyu began to thrash around in his arms, screaming "Why?!" over and over again. Blankets and pillows fell to the floor. Sunghee and Mingyu shot up from their seats, attempting to calm him down, but the older was surprisingly strong, pushing them away from him.

“He’s having a panic attack!” Dr. Choi stated, rushing quickly to the door, calling for a nurse.

Woohyun tried to talk to the older, offer him comforting words, but Sunggyu wouldn’t hear him, he refused to hear him. He continued to scream, yelling at Dr. Choi, yelling at himself, yelling at God. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

Soon, nurses came running in, two men and a woman. The male nurses pried Woohyun away from the bed before gripping Sunggyu’s arms as he thrashed around. The female nurse quickly injected something into his arm. A minute of struggling later, the older lied limp on the bed, eyes now closed in slumber, his face wet with tears. The nurses then let him go and stepped away. Dr. Choi began to speak to Sunghee and Minkyu.

But, Woohyun… Woohyun was rooted to his spot, eyes never leaving his slumbering boyfriend, the love of his life. He barely registered his own wet face, the heavy feeling in his chest, and his difficulty in breathing.

Before he could even comprehend what he was doing, his body was moving forward towards the bed. He gingerly touched Sunggyu’s thin hair, lightly ran his fingers over the chubby cheeks and wiped the tears away, gently the dry, chapped lips with a thumb.

Then, he climbed into the bed again, bringing the older close to his chest.

“I’m not leaving,” he whispered. “You hear me, Gyu? I’m not leaving… So, please… Stay strong, okay? Stay strong… Please… please don’t leave me.”

He wasn’t sure who he was reassuring: Sunggyu or himself.

 

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A/N: WHY?! Why do I do this to myself?! Why do I enjoy suffering?! Just so you guys know, I was practically crying writing this chapter. 

So, depending on where the rest of the plot bunny takes me, the next chapter might be the last or the second to the last chapter. Again, I am so sorry for bringing you pain.

And, before you ask, yes, Sunggyu and Woohyun did have in this chapter. I don't write , so you would have to use your imagination.