A/N: And thus, the angst begins. **bows** I'm so sorry.

 

---

 

It started off with small, seemingly inconsequential things.

They would be watching a show or a movie, and Sunggyu would just fall asleep on his shoulder. And he would sleep for the longest time until Woohyun would wake him up.

“Sleep is your friend, Woohyun,” he told the younger. “You should know that by now, you’re always up late.”

One time, they were playing piano and Sunggyu had pushed his sleeves up. Woohyun immediately saw the bruises. When he asked about them, the older replied that he probably just banged his arm on something by accident.

“You know how clumsy I am, Hyunnie,” he stated, with a nonchalant smile.

Another time, he cooked his mother’s kimchi jjigae because Sunggyu loved it when he tried it at Woohyun’s house. The older had a few bites and couldn’t finish the rest, claiming that he was still full. Woohyun had pouted in disappointment, thinking that he had followed the recipe wrong so it didn’t taste good, but Sunggyu reassured him that it tasted wonderful. He just wasn’t hungry.

“I’ll eat it well next time, okay?” Sunggyu promised before giving him a few kisses to make it up to him.

They were small, seemingly inconsequential things that he should have paid attention to.

Infinite was in Japan for a 5-day fan meeting. They held events in Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, Sapporo, and Nagoya. It was always fun meeting the fans, playing games with them, and performing for them. Japanese Inspirits were always thrilled to see the band and doing fan projects for them. Japan was definitely was one of Infinite’s favorite places to visit and hold events in.

During their last event in Nagoya, while they were waiting to go onstage, Woohyun received a phone call from Sunghee. When he saw her name flashing on his phone, he immediately got a bad feeling. Sunghee never called him, she usually texted if she needed to tell him something.

“Hello, Sunghee-noona?”

“W-Woohyun? A-Are you still in Japan?” Her voice was shaking, which didn’t help the anxiety in the pit of Woohyun’s stomach.

“Yes, we’re heading back to Korea tomorrow. What’s wrong, Noona?”

“It’s…” She released a choking sound and a sob before continuing, “It’s Gyu… He’s in the hospital.”

Woohyun’s legs suddenly felt like jelly that he had to clutch onto the nearby wall. There was a tightening in his chest and he couldn’t breathe.

“Sunggyu? What happened to hyung?!”

His band mates must have heard him as they all looked up from what they were doing and were now watching him. The staff were rushing about, getting things ready and paying him no mind. Their managers were outside, making sure everything was running smoothly.

“A few days ago, he kept feeling dizzy. And yesterday, he woke up with a high fever so we took him to the hospital. He didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to worry, but… I thought you should k-know…”

And Sunghee broke into a sob.

Woohyun could feel his resolve crumbling as well, as the tightening in his chest got worse. Tears were forming in his eyes and he wiped at them, forgetting about his eyeliner.

“T-Thank you, Noona. I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise.”

After promising to text him the hospital room info and to let Sunggyu know that he would be coming tomorrow, Woohyun hung up. He leaned against the wall and could feel himself sinking to the ground, his legs unable to support him anymore.

Sunggyu… his Sunggyu was in the hospital. It could be nothing. He was recovering so well. The weather had been cold lately, so Sunggyu may have just caught a bug. But, even so, catching a bug with his condition was dangerous.

All these thoughts plagued Woohyun’s thoughts. He tried his best to pay attention during the fan meet and to give his fans all his love and affection, but he found himself in a daze the entire time. He couldn’t count the number of times his band mates had to nudge him out of his stupor so he would concentrate.

When the fan accounts went up and everyone kept talking about Namu’s low energy and sadness during the fan meet, he didn’t care. He just wanted to fly home as soon as possible.

 

+++++++

 

Infinite just landed in Incheon airport a little after noon and because they were V.I.P., they sped through security checks, immigration, and baggage claim.

Woohyun made sure to cover up as they exited the airport and headed for the vans. He, Dongwoo, and Hoya piled into one van, while the maknae line went in the other. As soon as the doors closed and Geonam was driving away from the cameras and fans, he finally ripped the mask off and leaned forward to speak to the manager.

“Hyung, drop me off at the hospital.”

The older man blinked. “What? Why?”

“Gyu’s in the hospital. I need to see him.”

“Woohyun-.”

“Hyung, please,” he begged. “We don’t have any schedules for the rest of the day, and I promise to be back by 8 tonight. Please.”

Geonam appeared to hesitate and the main vocal was about to start begging again when Dongwoo spoke, “I can go with him, hyung. And you can pick us up when Woohyun’s ready.”

“I want to go too!” Hoya piped.

“No, Howon, you go back to the dorm and look after the kids,” the leader said, firmly. “I’ll go with Woohyun.”

The manager sighed in resignation. “Alright, fine. I’ll drop you two off first then. Have your phones with you, cover up, and make sure no one sees you, got that? We can’t have any reporters digging around as to why Infinite members are at the hospital.”

Dongwoo smiled reassuringly at a relieved Woohyun, who sent him a grateful smile in return. He sent a quick text to Sunghee to let her know that he was on the way.

Geonam dropped them off at the hospital parking lot and the two made their way inside as quickly as possible while trying not to draw attention to themselves. They headed for the Cancer Ward, scanning for the right room.

When they found it, Woohyun’s feet were suddenly glued to the floor. He couldn’t move to open the door. He didn’t know what to expect behind that door. Truth be told, he was scared. He was scared of what he was going to find. He tried to summon whatever strength he had left to move his legs, but he couldn’t.

He felt a hand touch his arm and he turned his head to see his leader, looking at him in encouragement.

“He’s waiting, Woohyunnie,” he said, with a bright smile that was very Dongwoo. “I’ll stay out here until you’re done, okay?”

The vocal swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded before pushing the door open. The first person he saw was Sunghee, sitting on the small sofa and staring blankly into thin air. She turned her head when he entered and immediately stood up to hug him.

“Do… do you mind watching him?” she asked. “I… I’ll just get… coffee… or something.”

Woohyun knew that she was probably not going to get coffee. She might, but it was more of an excuse to leave the room. Like Sunggyu, Sunghee was a proud woman and would refuse to cry in front of her brother or anyone.

The idol nodded at her and she took her leave, closing the door behind her. Woohyun now faced the bed, where his older boyfriend was lying, eyes closed in slumber. On the bedside table, the food was untouched.

Sunggyu’s face was sickly pale, dark circles under his eyes, and his pink lips chapped. As usual, he was wearing the black Infinite beanie, but it was now slipping off as he slept. Woohyun adjusted it to firmly fit before taking one of his hands in his and sitting on the chair beside the bed. The skin was ice cold to the touch. He blew on the hand to warm it up.

The gesture stirred Sunggyu and he softly groaned as he opened his eyes. He turned his head to the side and blinked a few times at Woohyun before breaking into a sweet smile.

“Hi,” he greeted, blinking sleepily.

The younger smiled back and planted a small kiss to his hand. “Hi, handsome.”

Sunggyu blushed lightly, making Woohyun happy to see a splash of color in those too pale cheeks.

“I told Noona not to tell you,” the older whined.

“And why not?” Woohyun pouted. “I was worried.”

“That’s what I was trying to avoid. You were working, I didn’t want you to be distracted.”

“Well, I’m not working anymore for today, so I’m all yours.” He smiled, cheekily at Sunggyu before placing his hand on his forehead. “It looks like your fever is all gone. That’s good. Did the doctor say when you can go home?”

Sunggyu’s face fell and he turned his head away to look blankly at the ceiling. The anxiety in the pit of Woohyun’s stomach returned, bubbling its way to the rest of his body.

“Gyu?” he prodded the other. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

And to Woohyun’s alarm, tears started falling from Sunggyu’s eyes.

“Gyu?!” He jumped up to place his hands on the older’s cheek to turn his head towards him. “Hey, jagiya, what’s wrong?”

Sunggyu swallow and his lips trembled. “W-Woohyun…”

The younger flashed him a gentle smile, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

“It’s back.”

The older’s voice was low that Woohyun probably wouldn’t have caught it if he wasn’t so close. This thumb froze as he felt a cold feeling wash over him.

“W-What?” was all he could utter, his hands falling to his side as he stared at Sunggyu in shock.

For the first time in a long while, he started pleading to a higher power that it wasn’t what he thought it was. It couldn’t be. His boyfriend was recovering so well. His hair was getting longer again. He was laughing more. He was doing things on his own more. It just couldn’t be!

“The cancer… It’s back.”

And Woohyun’s world crashed. He felt like a giant, heavy weight had landed on his chest, painfully squeezing his heart and rendering him unable to breathe.

Sunggyu suddenly looked so small… so fragile… so much like the Sunggyu that he first met several months ago. Weak. Vulnerable. And very much sick.

He hated it.

With a shaking hand, Woohyun reached out again to cup Sunggyu’s face. “I-It’s okay,” he said, cursing himself for his shaking voice. “W-We’ll get through this. You’ll fight again, okay?”

He tried to flash a smile, but Sunggyu only winced and refused to meet his eyes. The older’s hands were clutching the blanket at his lap so tightly that his knuckles were white.

“W-Woohyun… I…” His voice caught in his throat and he let out a soft sob.

“It will be okay, Gyu, I know it will. Did you talk to the doctor about your chemo? I’ll make sure to take that week off and-.”

“I’m not doing it anymore,” the other whispered.

That gave Woohyun a pause. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Time ticked by slowly and yet, Sunggyu did not take back his words, didn’t laugh it off as a joke, didn’t tease Woohyun about being so gullible.

“What… What do you mean you’re not doing it anymore?” Woohyun’s voice was hard and cold. It was a tone he had never used before. Not to Sunggyu.

Sunggyu swallowed again. “I… I’ve decided… to stop chemo.”

Silence permeated the room. Neither of them made a move or a sound, as Sunggyu’s declaration sunk in.

Woohyun wanted to slap himself awake. For sure, this was a dream. How else could Sunggyu say that he was going to allow the disease to win so easily? The Sunggyu he knew and fell in love with wasn’t a quitter, he always fought back. Why was this Sunggyu admitting defeat? Why was he…

"You don't mean that," he stated.

Silence. 

“Why are you giving up?!” he all but screamed at the older.

Sunggyu flinched again, but this time, he raised his head to meet the younger’s eyes. “Woohyun… I can’t do this anymore…”

“If it’s about the money, I’ve told you plenty of times that I can help!”

The idol would empty out his entire savings account if it meant Sunggyu would keep fighting. He would work day and night, taking every single job offered to him if it meant Sunggyu would live longer.

The older’s brows were now furrowed in frustration. “It’s not about the money! I’m just… I’m tired of living like this…”

Woohyun could only stare at him in disbelief. “Don’t I mean a thing to you anymore?!” he said in an accusing tone.

“Of course you do! So much! I love you! But, Woohyun, I just…”

The older tried to reach out and grab his arm, but Woohyun stepped away.

“You can’t say you love me and then decide to give up on yourself! You want to die, Sunggyu!”

“I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in and out of a hospital! Why can’t you understand?! I’m hurting you by continuing to live like this!”

“You’re hurting me by giving up and allowing yourself to die! That’s not love, Sunggyu!”

Tears were now spilling from his eyes and he didn’t care. In front of him, Sunggyu was also crying in that silent way of his. He wanted nothing more than to take his stubborn boyfriend into his arms and comfort him in kisses and sweet words… but, he couldn’t.

He was upset. Angry. Furious. Devastated. All these feelings were swirling inside of him, overwhelming his senses. The painful weight in his chest felt even heavier, suffocating him.

He needed to get out of there.

And that was what he did. Nam Woohyun his heels and fled from the hospital room, ignoring the voice of the love of his life calling out for him.

 

+++++++

 

There was a knock on the bedroom door, but Woohyun barely registered it as he furiously scribbled into the brown leather notebook. He was surrounded by papers and crumpled up pieces of sheet music, his keyboard next to him.

The door opened and he felt someone settle onto the floor next to him. He turned his head to see a worried-looking leader staring back at him.

“Sungjong is sleeping in my room tonight,” he simply stated. “I’ll sleep here, okay?”

Woohyun gave him a brief nod before turning back to his lyrics. Wordlessly, Dongwoo picked up one of the sheets of music and examined it. He hummed the tune a little before putting it back down. He turned to peek into the notebook.

“Did time stop again? Is it going to fall asleep like this again?” he quoted from the notebook.

Woohyun paused, the pen in his hand shaking against the page. That heavy feeling in his chest was back and he struggled to breathe and stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes again. His orbs were so very sore and so very tired of crying. But… he couldn’t stop. That was why he needed to write… He needed to spill all these emotions into something else. And that something else was a song.

He had been at it for 5 hours now.

“If you want to talk about what happened earlier, then I’m here to listen,” Dongwoo said, carefully and gently. “But, if you don’t want to talk, I’ll just keep you company, okay?’

For a long while, they stayed like that in silence, Woohyun furiously writing and Dongwoo playing on his phone. The silence was grueling, but it was also comforting. The other members had displayed worry for him after they saw the state he was in when he got home earlier, but he didn’t say anything. He had unknowingly kicked Sungjong out of their room, as the maknae realized he wasn’t fit to deal with his somber mood. Having Dongwoo there was exactly what he needed at the moment.

It was almost midnight now, and they were supposed to be up at 7am for a full day of schedules, but neither could sleep.

Finally, Woohyun set aside his notebook and leaned back to lie on the floor, staring at the ceiling. He turned his head to look at the notebook and his heart clenched in pain again.

“Hyung,” he whispered.

Dongwoo jerked from his position, blinking at the sudden call. “Hmm? What is it, Woohyunnie? Do you want to sleep now?”

The vocal didn’t answer his question. Instead, he stated, “Sunggyu’s cancer is back.”

The leader’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open in shock. “Hyunnie, I’m so sorry… I… I don’t know what to say.”

Woohyun took a deep breath and continued, “And he wants to stop his treatments.”

And with that, the younger spilled everything that happened at the hospital, what Sunggyu told him. He felt the tears leaking from his eyes again, and he knew that he would be in so much trouble with the make-up noonas tomorrow.

“How could he do this to me, hyung? How could he just… throw away his life, just like that! What about his parents?! His sister?! Me?!”

He was sobbing and Dongwoo wasted no time to place an arm around him, bringing him close to a hug. The leader allowed him to cry until he had run out of tears, hiccupping with a dry throat.

Dongwoo went out for a minute and returned with a glass of water for him and he gulped it down, fervently, soothing the dryness in his throat. But, it did little to ease the pain in his chest.

“Can I give my honest opinion, Woohyun?” the older asked once the younger had calmed down. “You don’t have to agree, but this is just what I think.”

Woohyun nodded, uncaringly. It wasn’t like things could get worse.

“Judging from what you said, it seems that Sunggyu-hyung is… tired,” the older said, carefully. “Not tired of living, but tired of what comes with his sickness. Think about it, he’s been in and out of the hospital since he was 18. Chemo, from what I’ve read of it, it’s not the most fun thing in the world. And having to do that over and over again… I’d be tired too.”

The vocal looked incredulously at the rapper. “Hyung! Are you saying that it’s okay for Sunggyu to give up just like that?! That I should give up on him?!”

“No, no! Not at all!” Dongwoo shook his head and sighed. “Hyunnie, think about how much pain he is each time. He’s been doing this for years, he’s used to it, but it can take a toll on him emotionally too. I’m not saying you should give up on him. But, take his feelings into consideration too. You only started dating, what, three months ago? He knows what an emotional toll a relapse can do to someone he loves.”

Woohyun remembered Sunggyu’s words: “I’m hurting you by continuing to live like this!”

“But… he’s not hurting me by continuing to live,” he argued. “If anything, he’s hurting me by giving up.”

“You’re thinking along the lines of your own feelings,” Dongwoo said, gently. “But think about Sunggyu-hyung’s. He’s hurting because of what’s happening to him, and with the way you reacted, you hurt him even more.”

“But, that shouldn’t be a reason to just give up and let that… that disease kill him!”

Dongwoo sighed again and flashed Woohyun a serious look that he rarely ever saw the older sport. “Sometimes, Woohyun, even if it hurts us greatly, when we love someone, we have to be there for the times when they want to fight… and for the times when they want to give up.”

He patted the younger’s shoulder before standing up and stretching. “It’s late. Go to bed, we have to be up early.”

And with that, the older climbed into Sungjong’s bunk and within minutes, he was fast asleep. Woohyun was left on the floor, staring at the ceiling, contemplating everything the older just told him. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He thought about Sunggyu, how he must be feeling right now, if he was already resting, if Woohyun had really hurt him.

The younger fell asleep like that and the next day, he woke up with the most painful backache from sleeping on the floor, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his chest that refused to go away.

 

+++++++

 

For the next three days, Woohyun didn’t visit Sunggyu. It wasn’t because he was still angry at the older. On the contrary, he wanted to see him. But, his schedules just didn’t allow it. And one negative thing about his managers knowing about his relationship now was that they kept a close eye on him, so he couldn’t sneak out after schedules. He was preparing for his solo debut in just a few months, and they didn’t want him to be distracted.

He wanted to call the older, but every time he was about to, he would change his mind. Why? Because he was ashamed. He thought about everything that Dongwoo said to him when he had a moment to think, and realized that he reacted poorly to Sunggyu’s decision. Yes, he couldn’t blame himself for being angry and upset, but did he really have to accuse Sunggyu of not loving him?

Woohyun cursed his impulsiveness, sometimes.

It took begging, the other members' voices of support, and the maknae’s whining that he couldn’t stay in his room due to Woohyun’s bad mood that the managers finally agreed to let him go after their schedules were done for the day. Geonam drove him to the hospital and promised to pick him up when visiting hours were done.

Armed with a bag of strawberries, Woohyun made his way into the hospital to his boyfriend’s room. He had texted Sunghee beforehand to let her know that he was coming and to not tell Sunggyu.

The older woman opened the door for him when he arrived and left to get herself some coffee (“You’re going to get addicted to that stuff soon, Noona,” he teased, effectively putting a small smile on her face).

In his bed, Sunggyu was fast asleep, his head bare of the Infinite beanie that he always wore.

Woohyun made his way towards him and placed the bag of strawberries on the bedside table. For a moment, he simply watched the older’s peaceful face, free of concern and worry. He reached out with a hand and gently brushed through the thin strands of hair before leaning down and pressing a tender kiss to his forehead.

Then, he settled on the chair by the bed and waited.

Sunghee returned a half hour later with two cups of coffee. She handed him one and settled on the nearby couch.

“I’m assuming he told you his decision?” she asked, in a soft voice.

Woohyun nodded and looked away in shame. “I upset him,” he said. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s not good for him.”

“I understand. I reacted that way too.” Sunghee sighed loudly as she sipped her coffee. “He’s been depressed all of last year, until he met you. He was happy then. We love him and we would do everything to make sure he lives, but Gyu also blames himself for not getting better. And with you, I guess he’s been worrying about how this will affect you.”

That statement sent a pang to Woohyun’s heart. It was very similar to what Dongwoo had told him. What kind of boyfriend was he? He couldn’t even read his own boyfriend’s feelings!

“I don’t want to give up on him,” the idol said, watching Sunggyu sleep. “I don’t want him to give up on himself.”

“You know, this isn’t the first time he’s said that he wanted to stop chemo,” Sunghee revealed.

Woohyun turned to her, quickly, eyes wide in shock.

Sunghee nodded. “The reason I wrote to the producers of that show was that... During Gyu’s third relapse, he said that if the chemo didn’t work, he was going to stop. He had lost hope when it came back again. But, when he got picked and met you, he decided to try again. You gave him strength at the time, Woohyun. You gave him more time.” She sighed, deeply. “But, he’s lost hope again. I’ve been by his side for seven years like this and I’ll admit to you, it’s difficult. There were also times when I wanted to quit. I’ve had my fair share of mental and emotional breakdowns, and I know that he knows that, and that makes him feel even more guilty. And he’s scared because he doesn’t want to see you go through the same thing. He loves you that much.”

The idol took in all of Sunghee’s words, allowing them to sink into his brain and his heart. He could understand now… Why Sunggyu wanted to stop. He was only thinking of Woohyun. And selfish Woohyun made it all about himself.

He felt incredibly torn.

For another hour or so, Sunghee and Woohyun stayed silent. Sunghee read a book, while Woohyun played games on his phone, occasionally looking up to look at his boyfriend’s face. Sunggyu’s room didn’t have a T.V. set, so the only sounds that permeated the silence were the older’s light snores and the occasional page turning from Sunghee’s book.

Sunggyu eventually stirred from his nap with a soft groan and Woohyun put his phone away and moved his chair closer to the bed. Slowly, the older opened his eyes and his gaze fell on the idol, immediately. The eyes blinked several times before widening in surprise.

“W-Woohyun?” Sunggyu stuttered, voice a little hoarse.

The younger flashed his brightest smile before leaning in and kissing his nose. “Hey, handsome,” he cooed. “How are you feeling?”

“Um… Alright… What are you doing here?”

“To see you, of course. And… to apologize, for last time.”

Sunghee suddenly moved to get up, announcing that she was going to get some food. Woohyun silently thanked her, knowing that she only wanted to give them some privacy.

When they were alone again, Sunggyu lifted an arm to place his hand on Woohyun’s cheek. “You’re not angry with me anymore?” he asked so timidly that it broke Woohyun’s heart.

He hurriedly shook his head. “No, not anymore. I’m so sorry for the things I said, jagiya. I was just… caught by surprise… and yes, a little angry. But not anymore.”

To reassure the older, he took the hand on his cheek and placed it against his lips, kissing it lightly. “I love you, okay? I love you so much. And I told you from the beginning, I’ll always be by your side. And if this… if this is what you want… then, I’ll support you and stay by your side, as long as you don’t push me away. I love you, Sunggyu.”

He lifted himself off the chair and leaned in to press his lips to Sunggyu’s. The older returned the kiss, immediately. Woohyun could even feel him smiling into it.

And he meant every word. Even if it hurt him or made him angry and upset, he was going to continue to stick by the older’s side. Sunggyu needed him more than ever in that time… in however much time they had left.

When they broke apart, the older stared at him with an unreadable expression before placing his hands on Woohyun’s face, squishing his cheeks, lightly.

“Why are you so good to me?” he whispered in wonder.

“Because I love you,” Woohyun repeated with a grin. “I love you more than anything, more than my career, I’d give it up for you.”

“Yah, don’t do that or I’ll be very angry at you,” Sunggyu pouted, cutely.

And for the first time in days, Woohyun laughed. “Okay, okay, I won’t.” He pecked the older’s nose, lightly. “I’ll be here for as long as you want me to.”

Again, Sunggyu stared at him, head tilted to the side as his thumb gently Woohyun’s cheek. The younger wondered what he was thinking so deeply about.

“Dr. Choi is coming in later to check on me,” he stated. “I’ll schedule the chemo with him then.”

For a moment, there was only silence. Woohyun blinked once. Twice. His brow furrowed in confusion as the words registered in his mind. And when it finally dawned on him that he didn’t imagine it, that Sunggyu was now smiling, brightly at him, the weight in his chest lifted.

“Wait… You mean…”

Sunggyu nodded. “You’re right. I shouldn’t give up so easily. I want to keep fighting… For you… So I can be with you for a longer time. I’ll try again. One more time. Is that okay? Will you stay by my side, Woohyun?”

Tears were now spilling from his eyes, but the idol didn’t care. He was too busy showering his older boyfriend’s face with kisses, mumbling, “Thank you” and “I love you” over and over again.

There was hope.

 

+++++++

 

A week later, Woohyun found himself walking down the familiar hallway, taking in the familiar smell of antiseptics and overall cleanliness. He walked past people in wheelchairs and gurneys, tilting his head at familiar nurses and doctors rushing about. 

Reaching the familiar door, he knocked and waited until a voice bid him to come in. When he entered, Sunghee greeted him from her spot on the couch and tilted her head over towards the bed.

“He won’t eat again,” she told him.

On the bed, Sunggyu was keeled over his trusty bucket, retching noises permeating the room. The older looked up and wrinkled his nose at him.

“Why do you always catch me when I’m puking my guts out?” he complained.

Woohyun just laughed as he approached and placed the basket of fruit on the bedside table. Then, he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend, but the older moved his head away, blocking Woohyun’s lips with his hand.

“Yah! I just threw up! Don’t kiss me!”

The idol pouted but leaned back down anyway to peck his cheek. Sunggyu made a face at him before turning back to his bucket and throwing up again. Woohyun hummed as he rubbed the older’s back, soothingly. When he was done, Sunghee went ahead to clean up the bucket while Woohyun assisted him with drinking some water and tucking him back to bed.

“Hyung, you should eat.”

“Later.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Satisfied, Woohyun settled himself on the chair and proceeded to talk about his day.

Sunggyu had his chemo session the day before, so he was still weak and had no appetite. Unfortunately, Infinite’s managers did not relent in giving him day offs or easing his schedules, so Woohyun simply rushed to the hospital when he was done, aiming to get there before visiting hours were over.

When Sunggyu was ready to eat again, Woohyun was there, feeding him despite the older’s protest that he could feed himself. And when it was time for him to leave, he sweetly kissed the older good-bye (ignoring Sunggyu’s insistence that his breath smelled awful), and promised to be back the next day.

It was difficult. Woohyun was physically exhausted. But, mentally and emotionally, he was determined to ensure that Sunggyu knew that he wasn’t planning on leaving any time soon.

 

+++++++

 

As per usual, once Sunggyu was feeling much better and no longer throwing up, his doctor gave the “okay” for a discharge so he could recover at home. Having no schedule until the afternoon, Woohyun was there to assist.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, once the older was settled on his bed.

Sunggyu pursed his lips in concentration before answering, “Hungry.”

Woohyun laughed and kissed his forehead. “Noona is getting lunch ready. I’ll go help her.”

“No!” The older grabbed his hand as he was about to walk away. “Stay.” He scooted to the other side of his bed and patted the space next to him.

Chuckling, the younger settled on the space on top of the sheets and placed an arm around Sunggyu’s neck and bringing his head down to rest on his shoulder. The older didn’t protest, sighing in contentment at their closeness.

Sometimes, they didn’t really need to do much or talk much. They liked the silence, just reveling in each other’s presence. Initially, Woohyun thought silence in a relationship meant that something was wrong. But, with Sunggyu, the silence was just as meaningful as when they were talking about random things.

“Hyun?”

“Hmmm?”

A pause. Then, “I’m scared.”

The confession stabbed Woohyun’s heart. Sunggyu’s voice sounded so small and fragile, so different from the strong-willed boyfriend that he fell in love with. Nonetheless, Woohyun could only hold him tighter.

“I’m here,” he whispered. “Whatever happens, I’m not leaving.”

To be quite honest, Woohyun was scared too. No, not scared. He was beyond terrified. He didn’t want to lose Sunggyu, not without a fight.

Sunggyu dozed off right after that, neglecting the lunch that he was no longer hungry for. Woohyun stayed by his side until the time he had to leave for work. His heart yearned to stay, but he knew Sunggyu would be upset with him if he didn’t go.

 

+++++++

 

Sometimes, Woohyun worked at the Kims’ house. Sunggyu was now recovering well, and Sunghee went back to work again.

The idol would bring his brown leather notebook and his music sheets and spend the entire afternoon at Sunggyu’s piano, the older usually next to him. The company allowed him 3 spots for self-composed music and he was furiously working hard on finishing them. And being the ever supportive boyfriend he was, Sunggyu helped out when he was stuck.

It was during one of these sessions that Sunggyu asked him, “Do you regret dating me Woohyun-ah?”

Surprised, Woohyun abandoned his pencil to look at the older. “What? No! Why would you even think that?”

Sunggyu looked down at the piano keys.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m like this. I’m sorry that I allowed us to get so close like this only to hurt you in the end.”

Sunggyu’s lip was trembling now and he bit it again to stop it from quivering so much because tears were surely to follow.

Woohyun placed both hands on Sunggyu’s cheeks to turn his head towards him so he could look him in the eye. “Never apologize for being in my life.” He pecked his nose. “All I regret is that that I didn’t meet you sooner.” He pressed his lips to his. “Now, stop being so negative, jagiya. Do I need to do aegyo for you?”

He brought his hands over his head and made peace signs before curling them up and down and made “bbuing bbuing” noises.

Normally, Sunggyu would frown or scoff or even walk away. But, this time, to Woohyun’s surprise, he just smiled and chuckled before shaking his head and turning back to the piano.

“I’ll never understand why you were my favorite,” he stated. “But I love you, so I guess I don’t need a reason.”

Before Woohyun could answer, Sunggyu started to play the song from the music sheet in front of him.

For once, it was Woohyun who blushed at his boyfriend’s words. He watched as Sunggyu played and hummed along to the song, wondering if he had saved a country in his previous life to have such a person like Sunggyu come into his life.

His boyfriend must have noticed his staring as he stopped playing and asked, “What?”

With a greasy grin, Woohyun scooted closer and laid his head on Sunggyu’s shoulder. “Keep playing. And sing too. I like listening to you.”

Confused but nonetheless, the older acquiesced to his request, playing and singing the song Woohyun had tentatively entitled, “Memories.”

Sunggyu’s voice washed over him like refreshing rain, cleansing him from all negativity surrounding his life at the moment. All there was, at that moment, were the two of them. Nothing else matters, not Woohyun’s career, not the cancer, not the disapproval of society, nothing.

When Sunggyu was done, Woohyun lifted his head as he pressed himself closer to the older. He leaned his forehead against Sunggyu’s, feeling his warm skin against his, their noses brushing each other’s.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” he confessed, lips trembling.

Sunggyu’s eyes locked with his and Woohyun could see the sadness reflected in those tiny brown orbs. “I’m not leaving you, just yet,” he replied. “I want to spend every hour, every minute, and every second I have left loving you.”

“That’s so greasy,” Woohyun teased, a smile quirking on his lips.

“I learned from the best,” Sunggyu teased back before closing the gap between them with a kiss. “I love you,” he whispered against Woohyun’s plump lips.

“I love you too,” the younger replied.

The notebook and music sheets lay forgotten on the piano as the couple lost themselves in their own world once more.

 

---

 

A/N: **bows** I'm so sorry.

So, the "Memories" song I mention here is actually "Scent" or "Nostalgia", one of Woohyun's self-composed songs in his "Write..." album. Musicians usually have tentative titles for their songs before deciding on a final title, so I did that here.

Also, this story is coming closer to an end. **sad face** Maybe about one or two more chapters left. I will make a note on when it goes back to the present a.k.a. the beginning of the story where Woohyun is looking back on this after his solo performance during Infinite's concert.

Honestly, I'm making myself cry writing this. I don't even know why I'm doing this to myself and to you guys, but it's too late to stop now. Thank you for your continued support despite the heartache I'm giving you. You're all the true M.V.P.s! **bows**