A/N: **on the floor sobbing**

---

 

Woohyun stood nervously in front of his CEO. Lee Jungyeop was a kind boss, but a tough businessman. And Woohyun’s request was definitely not beneficial for business.

“Woohyun, you are aware that Infinite is preparing for your summer concert series?” the CEO questioned the idol.

The younger swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sajangnim.”

“So… why are you asking for two weeks off?”

Woohyun swallowed, but he gathered his nerves. “I need to go to Jeonju.”

“What’s in Jeonju?”

“I…”

He considered lying, but eventually squared his shoulders, deciding that the truth was the best here. He had to swallow his pride. His boss was a kind man… surely, he would understand?

“I want to accompany my boyfriend, sir.” He forced his voice to remain steady. “It’s… It’s his request and I want to be there for him.”

Jungyeop ran a tired hand through his hair and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was stressed, Woohyun could tell, so asking this of him almost made him feel guilty. Almost.

“I knew it was a bad idea to let you date,” the boss mumbled, and somehow, that hurt Woohyun’s feelings. “You’re distracted.”

“Sir, please, I need this time to be with Sunggyu,” Woohyun pleaded.

“Do you know what you could accomplish in those two weeks? Hours and hours of perfecting your choreography and vocals.”

“I know, sir. I know it very well. But those hours, I can spend them with someone important to me… before I lose them for good. I… everyone has accepted that he might not last very long. I just… I need this time to be with him.”

The CEO sighed in regret. “I’m aware of your… situation, Woohyun, and I sympathize, I really do. But, you're still an idol here. You have responsibilities and you’ve been neglecting them. If he were a member of your direct family, I can let you go, but seeing as he’s a secret boyfriend, this will be even harder to cover up. What explanation will we give to the press, the fans, if you are to disappear to Jeonju for two weeks?”

“Sir, please, I’m begging you!” And with that, Woohyun got on his knees and prostrated himself on the floor, face against the cold tiles.

“What… Woohyun, get up! Hyoan, get him up!”

He felt arms wrap around him, trying to force him to get up, but he refused to budge from his position. He knew his back would hurt, but he would stay in this position for hours if it got him what he wanted... what he needed.

He heard the door open and several footsteps file in.

“What are you all doing here?!” said Jungyeop’s exasperated voice.

“Sajangnim, we’re here to back up Woohyun’s request,” Dongwoo’s voice responded.

Woohyun’s heart began beating fast against his chest. s, even though he told them he could handle it, were there to support him.

Meanwhile, Jungyeop groaned. “Dongwoo-yah, what are you doing?”

“As leader of Infinite, I take full responsibility for anything that happens during the summer concert series, should any issues arise. But, sir, please… Let Woohyun take some time off to be with Sunggyu-shii.”

“We’ll work a hundred times as hard to make up for his absence,” added Hoya, the member usually in charge of their dance practice routines.

“You realize that Woohyun is your main vocal and he carries the majority of vocal parts in your songs? What if you get called for a performance? Or to sing during an interview while Woohyun is gone? Then what?”

“Well, Dongwoo-hyung has been working very hard on extending his range to match Woohyun-hyung’s,” piped Sungjong. “And Sungyeol-hyung, L-hyun, Hoya-hyung, and I have been working on our falsettos. We’ll be fine without Woohyun-hyung.”

“Besides, sajangnim, you know that aside from L, Woohyun is the most popular member,” Sungyeol joked. “This gives the rest of us our time to shine too! Now, I get to compete with L as the most handsome member while Woohyun is gone!”

“Keep dreaming,” Myungsoo retorted, playfully.

“See? It’s a great opportunity!”

“Actually, sir, I think Sungyeol may have a point." Surprisingly, that was Hyoan's voice.

Sungyeol let out a "Whoop!" in triumph.

"We can use this opportunity to showcase the other members’ vocal talents too," continued the manager. “The boys know very well what people say about them on the internet, that only half the members can sing and the other half are just there for visuals. This is an opportunity to prove them wrong, sir. So, please, let Woohyun have this.”

There was silence from the CEO.

“And what will we tell the fans? The press? Or anyone who asks?”

“That Woohyun is taking personal time off. He just finished promotions for his solo. He’s been working hard for months. He deserves it,” answered Dongwoo.

Another silence.

On the floor, Woohyun’s muscles were aching from his position, but he refused to get up. Everything s said to convince their CEO touched him, greatly. He knew he was putting them in a very tight position because yes, as the main vocal, he had the majority of the singing lines in their songs. And he did have the highest vocal range among them. If he left and Infinite was asked to perform while he was gone, they would have to re-arrange the songs, and that would be a pain.

So his band mates saying all these things and creating solutions for them… it really touched Woohyun’s heart.

“Woohyun, get up, please,” Jungyeop finally said, his voice kinder this time.

The idol remained in position.

A sigh from the CEO. And finally…

“Ten days, that is all I can allow you.”

Tears sprung to Woohyun’s eyes as he lifted his head to look at his CEO, who was now standing and looking over at him. Behind him, he saw his band mates, bodies bent in 90-degree bows towards their boss.

Jungyeop sent him a kind smile. “When your members and even your manager shows his support, how can I refuse? But, only 10 days, got that? No more. You are to return here on the 10^th day, no matter what.”

“Thank you! Thank you, sir! Thank you!

Woohyun bowed his head again against the floor again, and Jungyeop complained that he was going to leave marks on his perfectly flawless forehead and that would be bad for his image.

The smile on Woohyun’s face didn’t waver, as his heart filled with relief.

 

+++++++

 

Mr. and Mrs. Kim left for Jeonju a week earlier than everyone to ready the house for Sunggyu’s arrival.

The morning they were to leave, Geonam drove Woohyun to the house with his one suitcase, a bag of food and snacks from s, and a list full of reminders to at least practice his vocals and choreography when he had the chance. Thanking his manager, the idol moved to exit the car when Geonam stopped him.

“Whatever happens… you know we’re here for you, right?” he said, sympathetically.

Feeling his heart warm up, Woohyun smiled in gratitude. “I know, hyung. Thank you. And I know Gyu-hyung appreciates it too.”

“I’m not a religious man, but my wife is. I asked her to pray for him… and for you.”

Woohyun wasn’t either, but nowadays, he felt like he became one. So, he appreciated the thought of his manager. “Thank you, hyung.”

He bid Geonam goodbye and dragged his stuff to the front porch. Minkyu let him into the house where his wife and brother-in-law were waiting with suitcases and duffle bags. Sunggyu was seated in a wheelchair, dozing as he hugged his Hamtaro plushie.

After a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek, Woohyun helped Minkyu and Sunghee take all of their luggage to the couple’s car. Then, they wheeled a now-awake Sunggyu and helped him into the backseat of the car. As soon as the wheelchair was placed neatly in the back with their things, they were off.

Minkyu drove, with Sunghee on the passenger seat next to him. Woohyun was with Sunggyu at the back. The drive was approximately 2 hours and 20 minutes, not including stopovers for lunch and bathroom breaks. Sunggyu was awake for half of it, watching videos with Woohyun on the latter’s phone. He spent the other half sleeping on Woohyun’s shoulder.

The ride was mostly quiet except for the tunes from the radio. Occasionally, Woohyun’s song “Nodding” would play and the two older couple at the front would about it.

When they reached the border of the city, Sunggyu stirred from his sleep. Slowly, he lifted his head from the younger’s shoulder and looked outside, blinking rapidly. Then, his lips broke into the biggest smile that Woohyun had seen from him in weeks, a smile that he missed so much.

“Noona, can we pass by my school? I want to show Woohyun,” he said, excitedly.

Of course, Sunghee couldn’t say “no” so she gave Minkyu directions on the route. Every time Sunggyu saw something familiar, he would point it out to Woohyun while telling a story from his memory. It was like he had a sudden burst of energy, just from looking outside.

It was definitely beneficial to bring Sunggyu home.

“Woohyunnie, look, that’s my school!” He excitedly pointed to a large building. “And look! Do you see that tteokboki stand? I used to eat there with my band! I wonder if you’ll get to meet them while you’re here.” He appeared to contemplate the matter seriously as they passed the school. “Nah, maybe not. I don’t want them to know I have a famous boyfriend. They might get jealous.”

He grinned, teasingly at the quiet younger who couldn’t help but grin back and press an affectionate kiss to his forehead.

“You’re so cute,” he commented. “You can introduce me to your friends, if you want.”

“Nah.” Sunggyu wrapped his arms tightly around Woohyun as he tucked his head against his chest. “I want you all to myself while you’re here.”

He lifted his head to flash a cute mischievous smile at the younger. Woohyun’s heart melted.

 

+++++++

 

The Kims’ Jeonju home was a typical, modern-day Korean home, with a tinge of traditional as well. It had a wooden gate and a rocky path leading to the entrance of the house. Sliding doors opened immediately into a well-furnished living room with sofas and a T.V. set. A piano was in a corner against the wall next to another pair of glass sliding doors that led to a garden outside. The kitchen was also modern as well as the dining room attached to it. The house in total had only 3 rooms: the master bedroom, Sunghee’s room, and Sunggyu’s room.

So, naturally, Woohyun got to stay in Sunggyu’s room.

Reminiscent of the older’s bedroom in Seoul, the walls were filled with posters of Nell, lacking Infinite posters because Sunggyu had been away. There was a neat study table, a bookshelf b with books, and another shelf displaying awards from school. Framed on the walls were certificates of the older’s achievements. There were also frames of photos of Sunggyu and his friends.

“Wow, hyung, when Sunghee-noona told me I have a smart boyfriend, I didn’t know he’s practically a genius!” he commented as he examined the awards and certificates. “Ahhh, this gives me more reasons to brag about you to Umma!”

Sitting up on the bed, Sunggyu flushed in embarrassment, but he was smiling as he watched the younger flit about his bedroom.

While Woohyun unpacked their things for them, the older watched him from his spot, occasionally giving out instructions on where he wanted something. Woohyun didn’t really bring much, mostly just his clothing, but Sunggyu had brought almost everything in his bedroom in Seoul. The younger dutifully arranged all of his clothes in the closets and drawers, arranged his Infinite albums (Woohyun’s solo album was placed on display, of course), and tacked some of their printed photos on the walls.

“What about this box, hyung?” he asked, picking up a pink cardboard box.

“Can you put that under the bed?”

So, Woohyun did.

When everything looked in place, he clapped his hands and pumped his fist in the air in victory. “I’m done!”

On the bed, Sunggyu smiled and clapped. “Good job, jagiya! Come get your reward.”

Grinning, Woohyun climbed up on the bed and settled next to his older boyfriend, who immediately pecked his cheek. The younger pouted in disappointment.

“Is that it?” he sulked. “I did a lot of work! I even got a paper cut from the photos!”

Sunggyu laughed and kissed his lips. The elder liked to kiss him a lot these days. Woohyun didn’t even need to cajole him into any, he initiated all of them.

Woohyun ran his eyes over the older’s face. His skin was pale and almost gray. His hair was thin, limp, and dry to the touch. His tiny eyes were glassy, with prominent dark circles under them. And his lips… his sweet lips that Woohyun loved to kiss were pale and chapped.

Nonetheless, he still thought Sunggyu was the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on.

“We should rest,” Sunggyu said, oblivious to Woohyun's staring. “Umma says we’re taking you out to get bibimbap for dinner. We have the best bibimbap in all of Korea! And I asked Appa and Umma to take us to the Hanok Village tomorrow. It will be so fun, Woohyunnie!”

The older happily snuggled up to him, babbling excitedly about everything he wanted to show Woohyun in his hometown. Seeing this Sunggyu really brought the joy back in Woohyun’s heart; he wished he could see Sunggyu like this for a much longer time.

“Woohyunnie?”

“Hmm?” He looked down with a fond smile at the older leaning his head against his chest.

“Thank you for being here,” Sunggyu said. “I’m really happy.”

“Me too.” And Woohyun meant it; seeing the person he loved so much being happy made him happy. “I’m sorry I only have ten days with you.”

Sunggyu buried his nose against his chest. “Ten days is more than enough,” he responded in a low voice. “I’m just happy you’re here.”

 

+++++++

 

True to Sunggyu’s promise, the Kims took him out to bibimbap that night, at a restaurant they frequented. They asked for a corner table so Sunggyu could lean against the wall, and Woohyun could be partially hidden from the rest of the restaurant.

As was normal lately, Sunggyu only had a few bites before pushing his bowl towards Woohyun to finish. He spent the rest of the meal watching his family eat, pitching in to their conversations every now and then.

Dinner was jovial. Mr. and Mrs. Kim were thrilled to have both of their children home after so long of being apart.

That night, as they cuddled under the blankets, Sunggyu thanked Woohyun again for coming with them to Jeonju.

“I’m glad I can show you this part of myself,” he said to the younger, a content smile gracing his pale lips.

Woohyun smiled back. “And I’m glad for the chance to see it all,” he replied.

The next day, they took him to Jeonju’s infamous Hanok Village. Woohyun had no choice but to wear a mask to avoid being recognized. He even styled his hair differently, wore the plainest clothing he brought, and went bare-faced (Sunggyu preferred him without all the makeup anyway).

Pushing Sunggyu's wheelchair, they strolled down the ancient cobbled streets, occasionally stopping to take photos. He was a little nervous at first, his eyes often wandering in anxiety that a fan would see him.

Eventually, he relaxed. There were many tourists in the area, all preoccupied with the sights and taking photos to pay attention to the family with a wheelchair-bound member.

They had lunch at a café, watched a couple of street performances, and strolled some more. By mid-afternoon, Sunggyu was already dozing, so they decided to stop and relax in one of the village gardens before heading home.

Sunghee wanted to buy souvenirs for her Seoul friends and asked Woohyun to come along. The latter declined, saying that he would stay to watch the older. Mrs. Kim stayed behind with them, while Mr. Kim and Minkyu went with the younger woman.

Woohyun sat against a tree, the older’s head on his lap as he napped, the younger’s fingers threading through the other’s thin hair. He and Mrs. Kim made small talk about the village, occasionally checking on Sunggyu.

They all had an unspoken fear now whenever Sunggyu took his naps, which the older always rolled his eyes at.

“Woohyun-ah?” Mrs. Kim called out to him.

“Yes, Mrs. Kim?” Woohyun looked attentively at the older woman.

“I just want to say… thank you.” The older woman smiled at him. “For being here with Sunggyu. I’ve never seen him so happy.” She placed a hand over the idol’s, affectionately. “In another life, if you and Sunggyu ever meet and fall in love again, I still give you my blessing.”

Woohyun was stunned, yet touched at her words. “Thank you… That means so much to me! I… I only wish…”

He looked back down sadly at the still slumbering Sunggyu, his hands instinctively going to the older’s chest to feel him breathe. Mrs. Kim followed his gaze and sighed sadly.

“We all wish for the same thing,” she said, wistfully. “I wish nothing more than for my son to live a long and happy life, making the music that he loves so much. I wouldn’t have even minded if he became an idol. As long as he’s alive.” She sighed again, before smiling at her son, fondly. “But, I’m glad that we at least have him home with us now.”

They sat in silence, watching Sunggyu, both occupied in their own thoughts. Sometime later, Mrs. Kim stood up and brushed off the dirt from her pants.

“Aish, what’s taking those three so long?” she mumbled, looking in the direction of the shops. “Woohyun-ah, will you stay here and watch Gyu? I’ll just go see what’s taking them so long.”

The idol agreed with no hesitation, and soon, it was just him and Sunggyu left in the garden.

There were a few people around, but they were preoccupied with posing and taking photos in their rented hanboks. No one paid the two men under the large flowering tree any attention.

Left to his own thoughts, Woohyun played with Sunggyu’s hair, running his fingers through the thin, dark strands. He lightly caressed the chubby cheeks, squishing them a little before moving this thumb to touch the pale lips.

Sunggyu stirred. With a soft groan, he opened his eyes and blinked up wearily at Woohyun, who smiled at him.

“Good sleep?” he asked.

“Yes.” Sunggyu took Woohyun’s hand and pressed a kiss to it. “Why do I have such a handsome boyfriend?”

Woohyun laughed. “Really? So am I more handsome than Myungsoo then?”

“You’ve always been more handsome than Myungsoo,” Sunggyu acquiesced. “You have the prettiest eyes, the cutest nose, and your lips are y.”

Woohyun blushed at the compliments, which didn’t go unnoticed by the older. He chuckled lightly and kissed Woohyun’s hand again.

“So handsome,” he whispered against the skin. “I’ll be so jealous of whoever gets to date you next.”

That one statement made Woohyun’s body feel cold, despite the warm afternoon sun beating down on them. He couldn’t find a response. The older wasn’t looking for one.

“If you date a fan again, make sure they’re not a sasaeng, okay?” Sunggyu continued, absentmindedly looking at some faraway flowers, Woohyun’s hand still close to his lips. “If you date a celebrity, be careful when you’re out so paparazzi doesn't catch you in compromising positions. I don’t want you to go through a dating scandal, those are stressful, or any kind of scandal, really. Or I’m coming back to haunt you so you do it right, got it?”

“S-Sunggyu…” Woohyun finally found his voice, but not the rest of his words.

Slowly, Sunggyu sat up and maneuvered his way into Woohyun’s lap. He lowered the mask that the idol was still wearing to press a short, sweet kiss to his lips.

“But, don’t forget that I love you, okay?” he said, smiling as their eyes connected.

Woohyun tried to see if there was fear and apprehension in those eyes. He found none – only pure joy and contentment.

“I love you a lot,” Sunggyu continued.

“I... I love you a lot too,” Woohyun managed, forcing his voice to remain steady and pushing back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “I love you so much, Sunggyu.”

“I know you do.”

Without another word, Sunggyu fixed his mask to fit more firmly over his face before pressing himself closer to Woohyun, snuggling him tightly.

They remained in that position until Sunghee, Minkyu, and Mr. and Mrs. Kim returned.

If he had been paying more attention, Woohyun would have realized that that was the first sign.

 

+++++++

 

The next couple of days were pure bliss for Woohyun and Sunggyu. They would go out and the older showed the idol all his favorite places around the town, telling him stories about his childhood and early teen years.

Whenever they were home, Sunggyu liked to sit in his wheelchair just outside the sliding doors, looking at the garden. Often, he would just be smiling to himself, headphones on his ear as he hummed to whatever song was playing on his iPod. Sometimes, he would ask Woohyun to sit at the piano and play something. The latter would play Sunggyu’s favorite Infinite songs.

The older had also developed a new, somewhat annoying but also kind of cute habit of stealing the younger’s cellphone when he wasn’t looking. He would take random selcas or record little videos of himself nagging Woohyun, sweet talking Woohyun, and even scolding Woohyun.

One morning, Woohyun was out buying groceries with Mrs. Kim, not realizing that he didn’t have his phone with him. When they returned later and he went to check in on Sunggyu, who was napping in his room, he found his missing cellphone in his boyfriend’s clutches. The latter had recorded a video of himself singing the completed version of the song he wrote for Woohyun when he said “yes” to dating him. Woohyun saved that video in three different places.

The entire arrangement felt domestic; Woohyun felt like a true part of the Kim family. They had meals together, went out shopping together, watched T.V. together, and Woohyun played the piano and sang for them during the night before they retired to bed.

He cooked meals with Mrs. Kim and Sunghee, showing his prowess and skill in the kitchen.

He watched sports games with Mr. Kim and Minkyu, impressing them with his superior sports knowledge and gaining the older Kim’s respect whenever they rooted for the same team.

He stayed by Sunggyu’s side, assisting him and making sure he was comfortable and had what he needed. He slipped into bed with him every night, engaging in pillow talks, and exchanging good night kisses.

At the end of every day, he didn’t feel like Infinite’s Woohyun around them. He just felt like Nam Woohyun. And he loved the feelings of bliss and contentment that came with it.

Living with Sunggyu, even if it was only for 10 days, felt like a dream he never wanted to wake up from up.

But, as we all know, dreams could only last for so long. Eventually, we have to wake up to reality.

One day, they happened to run into an old high school bandmate of Sunggyu’s while out shopping and Sunggyu introduced them to each other, but said that his boyfriend had a cold so he could not remove his mask. The man was already a working professional, set to marry in the summer, and invited to Sunggyu to his wedding.

“If I’m still alive by then, I’ll definitely come,” he said, good-naturedly.

At the man’s embarrassed flush, Sunggyu only chuckled and thanked him for making his high school life memorable. The man promised to visit Sunggyu one of these days with their old band members before they parted, a little awkwardly.

“A shame that I probably won’t see them at all,” Sunggyu mused to himself, as he watched his old friend walk away.

It made Woohyun’s heart ache. That should have been the second sign. But, he failed to see it.

 

+++++++

 

The days flew by. They had already been in Jeonju exactly a week.

As soon as Sunggyu woke up that day, he was clingy to everyone.

He followed his mother everywhere (to the garden, the kitchen, or the front yard when she went to get the mail), backhugging her, and complimenting her beauty. The older woman would simply laugh and ask him if he wanted money, but they could see that she enjoyed her son’s attention.

He sat with his father, Minkyu, and Woohyun in the afternoon and watched a game with them, contributing to the conversation, and even allowed himself to lean into his father’s shoulder and nap during the commercials. Despite not really being a skinship type of man, Mr. Kim allowed it, a soft, affectionate smile grazing his lips. He even ruffled his son’s hair.

He bothered his sister while she was gardening in the backyard, teasing her, and bickering playfully about her choice of flowers to plant. Even if she looked irritated and about ready to pounce on her brother and tackle him to the ground, Sunghee’s eyes were smiling.

He sat down beside Minkyu and spilled every embarrassing memory and secret he had about his sister that had the older man almost rolling on the floor in laughter and taking notes for blackmail purposes. He even teased the older about finally having a baby and that if it was a boy, they should name it after him so he would grow up smart and an overall amazing human being like Sunggyu, himself. Minkyu made the oath to do so without consulting his wife.

And he was affectionate to Woohyun, more so than usual. He kissed the younger’s cheek whenever they passed each other, blatantly flirting with him in front of his parents, and hugging him every chance he got. He whispered sweet nothings in his ear that made Woohyun blush and stammer (so unlike him, but then again, Sunggyu had never been so bold before). He stole the younger’s phone again and didn’t give it back until dinnertime.

That night, Sunggyu picked at his dinner, barely eating, but entertained himself by chatting up a storm. His family wasn’t sure what to make of this suddenly enthusiastic Sunggyu, but they played along, glad to see him happy and smiling.

That night, he asked to be placed right in front of the sliding glass doors so he could look out into the night sky. As a nightly ritual, Woohyun played the piano, singing a few Infinite hits and eventually moving to classic Korean trot songs and ballads. Soon enough, the rest of the Kim family were joining in. From his spot near the window, Sunggyu laughed and sung along.

It was getting pretty late now and everyone was ready to turn in for the night.

“Actually, can Woohyun and I stay out here for a little longer?” Sunggyu asked as his family lined up to say good night to him. “I just want to watch the stars.”

An unusual request since Sunggyu loved sleeping, but none protested. As his parents wrapped their arms around him and kissed him good night, he prolonged the hugs a little longer.

“Appa, Umma, I love you both so much,” he said to them, as he dug his face into his mother's stomach. “I don’t know if I ever thanked you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I’m proud to be your son.”

His mother chuckled and ruffled his hair. “What’s gotten into you today? But, you know what? We’re proud you’re our son too.” She leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Don’t stay up too late, got that?”

“Yes, Umma.”

“Sleep well, son.”

“You too, Appa.”

When it was his sister’s turn, he messed up her hair. “Yah! What the heck, Gyu?!”

He just laughed and hugged her around the waist. “You’re the best noona ever, even if you’re annoying as hell.”

“Yah! This punk!” She pinched his cheek hard, then his nose before stomping away.

“Love you, noona!”

“Yeah, yeah, you weirdo dongsaeng!”

Minkyu followed after her, but not before giving Sunggyu a hug good night.

“Make sure she takes her vitamins, she forgets sometimes,” he told the older man, who promised he would.

Soon, he and Woohyun were alone. The younger had been quietly observing from his perch on the piano. Now, Sunggyu beckoned to him with a smile.

“Let’s look at the stars together, Woohyunnie.”

So, Woohyun pulled up a chair next to Sunggyu’s wheelchair. The older took his boyfriend’s arm and placed it over his own shoulders before laying his head on Woohyun’s while linking their hands together.

The younger wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, just quietly watching the stars, but it was nice… peaceful. He could smell Sunggyu’s favorite coconut-scented shampoo. He savored the moment.

“Woohyun?”

“Hmm?” He pressed a kiss to the older’s forehead. “What is it?”

Lifting his free hand, Sunggyu pointed to the sky. “Do you see that constellation? That’s called Ursa Major or the Big Dipper.”

Woohyun squinted – he didn’t really know stars, never really took an interest in astronomy but he tried his hardest to find the group of stars.

Beside him, Sunggyu laughed and took the younger’s free hand in his and traced the said constellation with it.

“Do you see it now?” he asked.

Woohyun nodded – it really did look like a dipper.

“Do you see that one little star underneath it?” Sunggyu took his hand again and used it to point to the said star.

Woohyun nodded again.

“That’s our star from now on.”

Confused, the younger looked down at his boyfriend – he was smiling, his eyes never straying from the star. Woohyun couldn’t help but grip his shoulder tighter; he hoped he wasn’t hurting the older, because Sunggyu tended to bruise so easily these days.

“So whenever you miss me, you can just look for our star and I’ll be right there, waiting for you to tell me everything that’s on your mind. You know I’ll listen,” the older continued.

“Y-You know… I can always just call you on your phone,” Woohyun joked.

The older flashed him a pointed look before chuckling and pressing a kiss to Woohyun’s neck. “Cute,” he commented.

He looked back at the dark sky, littered with stars. Back in Seoul, stars weren’t really that clear due to all the bright city lights. But, out here, they were as clear and brightly shining as diamonds.

“You know, the thing I like about stars is that no matter how much time has passed, they don’t move,” Sunggyu mused, still smiling. “They may look like they moved or changed positions, but it’s the Earth that’s moved. And when the Earth finishes its rotation around the sun, they’re still there, in the same exact spot. So I’ll be right there on that star, I won’t move, so you can easily find me when you need me.”

“Sunggyu… why are you talking like this?” Woohyun asked in a soft, frightened voice. He was shaking, his heart beating fast and painfully hard against his chest.

But, instead of answering, Sunggyu lifted his head and pressed his lips to Woohyun’s. The older responded, unable to stop the tears from forming in the corner of his eyes. Sunggyu kissed him gently, but thoroughly and passionately, his hand on Woohyun’s cheeks, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

When they finally pulled apart for air, Sunggyu didn’t move away, instead, pressing his forehead against the younger’s. Their breaths mingled from the close proximity, their eyes not leaving each other. Sunggyu looked at him, intensely, as if memorizing his face and imprinting it into his mind. Woohyun was doing the same.

“I’m sorry for making you cry,” the older said, kissing the tear tracks on the younger’s cheeks.

“Yah, what did I say about saying sorry?”

Sunggyu chuckled. “Never say sorry for being in your life,” he recited.

He paused again to look at Woohyun, his eyes roaming every inch of the younger’s face.

“So handsome,” he mumbled. “Whatever I did in my previous life, I must have saved a nation, because I still don’t know how someone like you managed to fall in love with someone like me.”

 “Hey, I can say the same,” Woohyun teased as he grinned. “It’s getting pretty late. We should go to bed.”

“A few more minutes?” Sunggyu pouted.

Woohyun couldn’t deny him. “Alright, 5 more minutes.”

“Can we sleep out here? I don’t want to be in my room tonight. I can’t see the stars from there.”

“Alright.”

They stayed in that same spot for ten minutes, Sunggyu pointing out different constellations to Woohyun, occasionally sneaking kisses to each other.

Finally, it was time to settle in for the night.

The couch wasn’t too big, but Sunggyu was slim and tiny and Woohyun wasn’t that big either, so they managed to squeeze in it together. Sunggyu was tucked into the crook of Woohyun’s arm, as he laid on his side, the younger on his back. They didn’t sleep instantly, instead, talking about nothing in particular, giving each other sweet little kisses in between sentences.

“I love you Nam Woohyun,” Sunggyu whispered against his lips. “I love you so much.”

The younger pecked his nose then his lips, smiling widely as he did so. “And I love you. So much.”

At some point, Woohyun started drifting off, the fatigue settling in, but Sunggyu was still wide awake. He could feel the older’s eyes on him.

“Woohyun?”

He opened his eyes to see Sunggyu watching him.

“Go to sleep, Gyu, it’s late,” he said to the older. “You need to rest.”

Sunggyu smiled, snuggling closer to the younger’s body. “Will you sing me to sleep, Woohyun? Please?”

Woohyun was tired, but he could not deny the older’s request.

“Of course, jagiya.” He kissed Sunggyu’s nose. “What do you want me to sing?”

“Time.”

So, Woohyun sung for his beloved.

 

Did time stop again?

Is it going to fall asleep like this again?

While staring blankly outside

I’m thinking about you with my two eyes closed

 

Even though time is passing by again

I’m going back to that time again

Although I try hard to find everything in your memories

 

I’m crying by myself there but

As my tears stopped I’m laughing

But I’m waiting again

Until I can breathe again

 

He paused to look down at the still awake Sunggyu.

The older smiled at him. “Don’t stop. Keep going, please.”

So Woohyun did.

 

Even though time is passing by again

I’m going back to that time again

I’m trying hard to find everything in your memories

 

Sunggyu began to sing along with him, his voice much softer and frail-sounding than Woohyun’s. But, the harmony of their melded voices was beautiful to Woohyun’s ear.

 

I’m crying by myself there but

As my tears stopped I’m laughing but

After leaving you alone

I’m wandering around here with memories I can’t erase

 

Although I don’t have anything to say and I can’t hear you but

Even so if I can find you like this

I’ll wait for you now until time stops

 

Sunggyu’s voice faded as he drifted off to sleep. But, Woohyun kept singing, wanting his voice to reach Sunggyu’s dreams.

 

I know well that I can’t say anything

Even so I’m searching for you but

I know well you won’t change your thoughts but

I still can’t forget you

 

Although I don’t have anything to say and I can’t hear you but

Even so if I can find you like this

I’ll wait for you now until time stops

 

If I can find you, I’ll wait for you now, until I can breathe again

 

Finishing his song, Woohyun placed a hand against Sunggyu’s chest, feeling his heart beating against his hand. The older looked peaceful, smiling in his sleep, his fingers clutching the front of Woohyun’s shirt.

Woohyun pressed his lips against his forehead. “I love you, Sunggyu.”

As he drifted off to sleep, he swore he could hear a faint whisper of “I love you, Woohyun.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Woohyun was awakened the next morning by the bright sunlight streaming through the glass windows and shining on his face. He blinked a few times in attempts to rid himself of sleep. His arm felt numb due to the weight on it all night, but nonetheless, he smiled at the handsome figure cuddled against him.

He brought his lips down to the cute ears, whispered a “Good morning, jagiya”, and a kiss on the organ’s tip.

The figure beside him didn’t move.

As was his habit, Woohyun brought a hand to Sunggyu’s chest, expecting to feel a heartbeat.

He felt none.

Woohyun froze, his own heart rapidly speeding up against his chest… so, unlike the one underneath his hand…

“S-Sunggyu?” he choked out, placing a hand on the older’s shoulders and shaking him. “Y-Yah… Wake up… T-This isn’t funny!... S-Sunggyu?!.... G-Gyu?!”

But Sunggyu didn’t respond, only continued to sleep.

Woohyun barely registered the tears falling from his eyes, barely felt his shaking hands, and his voice getting louder with each call of Sunggyu’s name. He placed his hands on the older’s cold cheeks and squished them because he hated it when Woohyun did that. He wouldn’t stand for it.

“S-Sunggyu! Come on! Wake up! Let’s make breakfast together! And then we can go to the park! Or eat at that bibimbap restaurant again! Let’s go to Poongnyeon Jegwa Bakery and get some of those choco pies! Sunggyu?! Kim Sunggyu! Yah! Open your eyes! Sunggyu, please! Jagiya, please!”

He couldn’t even hear the doors opening, the loud footsteps coming their way as the rest of the inhabitants of the house filed into the living room, awakened by his loud voice.

“Sunggyu?!”

That loud shriek came from Mrs. Kim. And then a loud cry of pain from Sunghee.

Woohyun didn’t know how he managed to pull away from his Sunggyu, but the next thing he knew, he was on the floor beside the couch, watching through his tears as Mrs. Kim held her son in her arms, crying and calling his name. Mr. Kim was crouched down beside the couch, holding his son’s hand in his, tears silently falling down his cheeks. Sunghee was hysterical in her husband’s arms.

Woohyun felt numb. He felt like time had stopped. He was drowning in his feelings of despair and grief. And he didn’t know if he would survive.

 

+++++++

 

He stayed in Jeonju for the customary 3 days of mourning. He texted and informed his managers, members, and family of what happened and received their condolences. He borrowed a suit from Minkyu and helped welcome and serve the guests during the wake. He didn’t wear makeup or bother wearing a mask, no longer caring if anyone recognized him.

All these, he did, mechanically. He didn’t know how he even managed to move in order to help the Kims with the preparations, but he did it.

When he wasn’t welcoming or serving anyone, he stood in a corner with Minkyu, staring at Sunggyu’s photo at the altar. It was an old photo of his, taken some time after his first remission, so he looked young and fairly healthy. Woohyun couldn’t help but wonder if the older would approve of it, but he probably would have preferred that than a recent photo that just showed how sick he had been in the recent years.

On the third day, they said their final goodbyes to Sunggyu in the morning, just before lunchtime. Woohyun left for Seoul right after lunch. Mrs. Kim did not forget to send him off with a hug of gratitude and a box of choco pies from Poongnyeon Jegwa Bakery.

When he arrived at the dorm, the members were all gathered in the living room, waiting for him, all looking worried.

Without a word, he the box of choco pies at Sungyeol and dragged his suitcase to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Sungjong slept in Dongwoo and Hoya’s room that night.

 

+++++++

 

After Sunggyu’s passing, Woohyun became lifeless. He went through everyday like a robot, taking instructions, mechanically. 

Two weeks after his return to Seoul, Infinite began their Summer Concert Series. At first, the performances went without a hitch. All the members were professional. However, it didn’t last long.

In the latter half of the concert, Infinite sang “Voice Of My Heart”. After singing his first line, the main vocal burst into tears and couldn’t go on. He tried, everyone was a witness that he tried to go through the song. When the members came back for a performance of “She’s Back”, they were missing one member.

The incident made Entertainment headlines everywhere, both local and international. Fans became worried that something was wrong with Nam Woohyun’s mental and emotional health. Due to demand and petitions from fans, Woollim announced that the main vocal was taking a month-long hiatus to recover (from what, that was vague to the fans).

Woohyun took that time to mourn Sunggyu.

He went home and locked himself in his room, only coming out for dinner due to the insistence and begging of his mother. Otherwise, he remained in his teenage room, staring at the ceiling, mind blank.

One night, his father came home and found his pack of soju gone from the fridge. He then discovered his son passed out in bed, surrounded by the missing bottles. The Nam patriarch then emptied out their fridge from all alcohol and refrained from buying any, for as long as his son was recovering from his heartbreak.

It was a bright sunny day when Woohyun was disturbed from his solitude by the doorbell one day. His parents were both at work. He was home alone. He considered not answering the door, hoping the person would just go away. But, in the end, something urged him to get up from his bed and trudge to the front door.

Mr. Kim stood on his front porch, looking worse for wear and holding a familiar pink box. Surprised, but not forgetting his manners, Woohyun let him in.

“Um… would you like anything to drink?” he asked, politely as he and Mr. Kim settled on the sofa in the living room.

“No, thank you. I won’t stay long. I’m sorry for coming unannounced, but I got your address from your brother at his restaurant. I just wanted to drop this off.” And with that, the older man handed him the box. “We found it in Sunggyu’s room when we were… clearing out his things.”

The two men paused in silent reverence for a minute. Woohyun’s chest started throbbing in pain again.

“Woohyun, I just want to thank you,” Mr. Kim said, looking at the younger man with a small smile. “I know I wasn’t particularly nice to you at first, but I was worried about my son.”

“I… I know, Mr. Kim. I understand.” And Woohyun meant it.

The older Kim cleared his throat again. “You know, I had my doubts about you from the beginning. But, you were there for Sunggyu, until the very last day. H-He…” Pausing, Mr. Kim took a deep breath to stop his voice from shaking. “He loved you so much.”

The younger felt a lone tear leave his eye and trickle down his cheek. “And I loved him. I still do. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“I know that now,” Mr. Kim said, with a kind smile. “I can see why my son fought so fiercely for you. You are a good and loyal man, Nam Woohyun. In the last few months of his life, you made him so happy.”

“I… I wish there was something else I could have done… for him to l-live.” Woohyun’s voice trembled, as more tears followed.

“We all wish there was something we could have done,” Mr. Kim agreed. “But, I’m glad that it was you who was with him until the very end. My son may have died, but he died happy. And my family and I will forever be indebted to you for that.”

Woohyun couldn’t respond. How could he with his sobs and aching heart?

Mr. Kim stayed, hand on the younger’s shoulder in comfort, until he calmed down. Then, he took his leave, giving Woohyun a firm handshake and making him promise to visit them in Jeonju sometime.

Woohyun placed the box on the desk in his room, but didn’t touch it all day. He ignored it until after dinner, when he was alone in his room again and the pink box stared back at him.

He placed the box on his bed and sat across from it. He stared at it again for a few more minutes.

Finally, he reached out with shaking hands and lifted the lid. Inside, what he found brought fresh tears to his eyes.

He reached in and picked up the black Infinite beanie with his name stitched on the back. He held it close to his heart, pressing his lips against the soft fabric. There was a faint scent of coconut on it.

Placing the hat aside, he picked up the next item: a black mask with a brown cartoon hamster on it. This time, Woohyun smiled, remembering how cute Sunggyu looked wearing it. His own matching bunny one was back at the dorm.

He put the mask on top of the hat and reached for the next item: a small stack of ticket stubs tied together with a rubber band. They were tickets from movies he and Sunggyu went to on their dates. He recalled that the older always kept the ticket stubs.

He placed them on top of the hat and took out the next item: a folder. He opened it to find music sheets: Sunggyu’s compositions. Some were finished, some were only half done, and some didn’t have lyrics. He found the song Sunggyu wrote for him: “Alive.”

He quietly hummed the melody of that song as he placed the folder aside and picked up the next item: a familiar small box. He opened it and staring right back at him was a silver key. He slid the pendant off the chain, removed the chain around his neck, and slipped the key into it, right next to the lock. He wore the necklace again, both lock and key now dangling against his chest.

At the bottom of the box laid a lone photo: the square sheet containing 6 different shots, taken in a photo booth during their first date. He took in their images, their smiles and silly faces, the joy in their eyes. Woohyun smiled, remembering what a wonderful time he had that night, one of his happiest memories with Sunggyu.

As the bright lights in his bedroom shined down on the photo, he could make out something faint reflecting back at him. Curiously, Woohyun flipped the photo.

Sunggyu’s familiar neat handwriting greeted him:

 

Dear Woohyun,

I’m so sorry I had to leave you this way. I didn’t want to, I wanted to live. But, it seems that fate doesn’t want me to.

There isn’t much space on this tiny photo so I’ll keep it short. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for making the last months of my life happy. I will take the memories with me wherever I go to next.

I know you will cry for me and I wish you didn’t have to, but I won’t stop you. But, after this, please don’t cry over me anymore, okay? Please continue singing for me and I’ll hear you in heaven.

I love you, Woohyun.

Kim Sunggyu, your #1 fan

 

By the time he was finished reading, Woohyun’s shoulders were shaking violently as he sobbed his heart out. He screamed. He wailed. He let it all out that night and fell asleep, curled up next to the empty box and the stack of memories, the photo pressed to his chest.

Three days later, he bid his parents good-bye and returned to Infinite’s dorms.

He was only gone for two and half weeks of his supposed month-long hiatus. And he surprised Inspirits in Daegu when he showed up at the concert, singing his heart out on stage, despite the tears in his eyes.

 

---

 

“Woohyun-shii? Sorry for the delay! L-shii is done with his retouch, it’s your turn now!”

Woohyun broke from his thoughts. He looked up at the staff standing in front of him, looking harried, her eyes urging him to hurry up because they were pressed for time. It always went by so quickly.

He flashed a smile at her and nodded in thanks.

Putting on a professional air, he got his makeup retouched and obediently slipped into a dressing room to change into his new stage outfit. Sungjong and Sungyeol were still out there for their solo stage, but they would be done soon.

Woohyun practiced his vocals with Dongwoo and quickly ran through choreography with Hoya.

The rest of the concert went without a hitch.

 

+++++++

 

The drive back to the dorm that night was quiet. The other two members he was with had fallen asleep, exhausted from another night of performing. Only the soft sounds from the radio filled the otherwise quiet van.

But, Woohyun was wide awake, his eyes trained up to the sky. He wished he could open a window so he could see clearly, but the weather was getting cold: Autumn was upon them again.

And again, Woohyun wondered where the time went. It seemed to pass so quickly these days.

The van stopped at a red light.

Woohyun thought, Screw it! and lowered the window.

The freezing night air immediately blew into his face, giving him goosebumps. But instead of feeling cold, he felt refreshed. He caught Geonam flashing him a look of annoyance via the rearview mirror, but otherwise, the manager didn’t say a word.

The idol simply sent him a greasy smile before turning his attention back to the sky.

His eyes searched the heavens until he finally found it, the set of seven stars: Ursa Major.

His gaze fell on the star right underneath it: their star. His Sunggyu.

He smiled, affectionately.

Hey, handsome, he thought. How are you doing up there? I miss you. It’s been 3 months since I last saw your cute face. Ahhh… I miss squishing your cheeks. We had another successful concert. Were you watching? I bet you had a front row seat. Did you see Yeol and Jong’s solo stage? Crazy, right? I think the fans were crying during my stage again. I’m sorry I can’t fulfill my promise of not crying yet. Maybe someday. But, not yet, okay? Be patient with me, you know how emotional I am.

The car began to move through traffic again, but Woohyun kept his eyes trained on the sky, his fingers playing with the lock and key around his neck.

Sunghee-noona is pregnant, I’m sure you know. They hope it’s a boy, so they can name him after you. I wonder if he’ll have your tiny eyes and chubby cheeks.

Woohyun chuckled, wondering if Sunggyu was making his huff of disapproval at him now.

If it’s a girl, Noona says ‘Gyuri’ would be a nice name. We’re having a Jeonju concert next week. Can’t believe I managed to convince sajangnim to add it to the list of locations. I can’t wait to perform there. Your parents invited Infinite to lunch and to visit you. I can’t wait. I’ll bring strawberries.

They were almost at the dorm now.

I still miss you, jagiya. I miss you so much. But, I’m going to keep singing, okay? I’ll keep singing, just for you. I know you’re always listening… I love you, still.

Although Woohyun could still feel Sunggyu’s absence like the loss of his singing voice, he knew the older would never leave him. He had his memories, after all. His time with Sunggyu may have been brief and the ending filled with grief, but nothing could replace the happiness he felt during that time.

Just like back then, he did not have an ounce of regret for meeting and having Sunggyu in his life. He was a permanent part of Woohyun’s story now, the one who kept him singing.

It felt so long ago, and it was taking him some time to get used to living without Sunggyu’s smile, his laughter, his nagging, and his affection. But, as long as he kept singing, the older never truly left him.

For the rest of time, he would have Sunggyu in his heart. And until time stopped, until they meet again, Woohyun would never stop singing.

---

 

A/N: **hands everyone tissues** 

Are you all okay? I'm sorry I made you all cry. If it's any consolation, I'm crying too. I cried while writing it. I cried while editing it. And I cried while posting it. 

But, I want to take this time to also thank everyone for sticking by this ridiculous tear-fest of a story that I never in my 24 years of living thought I would ever write, much less make one of my favorite Kpop pairings the stars of it. Thank you for being there through the fluff, the laughter, and the tears.

Please remember that time is always passing, and it passes so quickly. Please love with all your heart, mind, and soul. Let go of the fears, the doubts, and the apprehension and allow yourself to love and be loved in return. You never know when you're missing out on something so wonderful. Even if it ends in pain, you can look back on those memories with fondness and joy. You can tell yourself, "I loved and felt love." That is something that should never be taken lightly. 

Just like the Woohyun and Sunggyu of this story, please love with no regrets. 

Until the next time, I hope it will be a much happier story. I'm going to take a short break, as well, because this precious story of mine did take a great amount of emotional toll on me. But... there are no regrets. Absolutely none.

Love you, chingus!