A/N:

I edited ch. 3-6, especially the parts with Ravi and N.

Feel free to re-read them first if you feel like it. :)

Discharged

Ravi presses a button to pull the car’s window down, allowing some fresh air through. N sits besides him, his eyes has been shut the whole way as he leans into the reclined leather seat. Ravi steals a glance at his tired face. N wears a NIKE baseball cap, but he can see short black hair peeking out. The hard labour in the army during those past two years is visible on his sun-kissed skin that has turned rough.

Ravi brakes hard before the red light. The car jerks, waking N up.

“Sorry,” says Ravi.

N stretches his elongate neck. “Too bad Sungjae is busy with the new girl group. He’s a much better driver.” He shuts his eyes again without sparing Ravi a glance.

Ravi scrolls down the window more, allowing more stiff air to be out.

N opens his eyes again and shifts in his seat looking rather uncomfortably. He turns on the radio.

A soothing but dynamic ballad that sings about lost love echoes in the car. The tenor male singer sounds like a flowing river---his notes soar lightly along the wind but knocks on N’s heart and stays within him.

“Who’s the singer?” asks N.

“Cho Kyuhyun.”

“Good for him.”

Ravi shoots N another glance. “You aren’t mad about that? He sort of replaced you....even though I still think that you’re the best. I’m not biased or anything.”

N finally cracks a small smile. “Why should I be mad? I’m happy for him.”

Ravi tries to elbow N despite that he is driving rather close to the car in front of him. “You’re lying.”

“Ok. I’m not happy for him, but I’m not mad either. He has nothing to do with me.”

“He’s your competition. Are you giving up on singing?”

N sounds exasperate. “I’m not competitive like you. Just because I don’t care for other singers, it doesn’t mean I’m giving up.”

“Liar. You care about competition as much as I do.” Ravi taps on the steering wheel. “Remember in grade three you cried in the washroom because you didn’t win gold medal in the relay?”

N laughs. “You made that up. I hate running.”

“Nope. You used to be great at it until you sprained your ankle really bad doing cross-country. I remember everything about you.”

“Okay. Just don’t write every little thing about. I don’t want to bore your readers.”

“You’re never boring. Anyway, I was trying to say that you aren’t better than any of us.” Ravi smirks. “You have your competitive, demonic side like any of us do.”

“I never thought I was superior. I just don’t think I’m competitive at all. I stay true with what I want at my own pace.”

Ravi tsks. “We can focus on what we want but there are always idiots and other obstacles being in our ways. We gotta keep our fighting spirit up.”

N sits back into his leather seat. “Someone had too much spirits this morning.”

“N, I don’t drink and drive. I’d never put anyone in danger,” Ravi says sullenly.

N blinks twice, but he doesn’t fall asleep. “What’s with your last letter anyway?”

Ravi shrugs. “I don't know. It's just a letter.”

“Who is he?”

Funny how everyone asks him the same question. “He's an ex.” A dull ache spreads from his chest. He glances over and notices N not moving at all.

“Sounds like you miss him,” says N.

“I do miss him, but he hates me.”

Some boy band hip hop track pumps life into the quiet car. “Do you still like him?”

Ravi signals to pull over next to a curb. He parks his car quickly.

N turns away from him to look out of the window instead. Ravi can tell that he's not smiling at all. Perhaps it's a bad idea to show himself without his pen and paper as sword and shield. Maybe his words aren’t witty enough and he lets the truth seep out at a spontaneous moment.

“I like him, but I care for your future too,” says Ravi. “I will make you a superstar again in no time.”

“Thanks, Ravi, but I can survive by myself. I got by all these years without you. I want to sing on stage, not being an actor.”

Ravi half turns his body towards N. “How are you going to sing if no one listens to you anymore? This is the easiest way to get out of this mess. Why don’t you just take my offer? Do you have any better plan?”

“Why do you want me to play ‘Kim Wonshik’? Why do you want me to play you? You can find a popular, better actor to act out your life story.” N didn’t mean to yell, but it turns out this way.

“Because you’re Hakyeon. You know me best.”

“I don't know you anymore.” Something shimmers in N’s pupils. It is a reflection of the light, or it is something deeper.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to understand me?”

N sighs. “I'm going to take the cab.”

Scandal News

At eleven p.m., the partly lit office only has Ken and Hyuk as the ground keepers. One drop of silence would be sufficient to wake the death. Ken puts his legs up on his work desk that is strewn all over with papers and newspaper clipping. Hyuk occupies a swivel chair next to him. No one speaks for awhile, until “Hyung” breaks the silence.

Ken shuts his eyes and reclines in his seat. “Shh… I’m thinking.”

“Are you thinking about N? Or Ravi?”

Ken glared at him. “I’m thinking about our asshat boss and how to stuff him in the back of the trunk and push him over the cliff.”

Hyuk spots smoke seething out of his hyung. He has not calmed down from the fight with the boss yet. Ken hyung, the diligent worker had always done his duty and never ever disappointed his boss or stepped out of line. However, ever since N’s scandal had broken out, Ken hyung was no longer himself. All he did was fighting against his boss like bouncy ball hitting off of the wall, not making a single dent.

“Are you going to stalk N again like he asked us to?” asks Hyuk.

“I don't know.”

“You don't know?” Hyuk sits straight up. “You are going to say ‘no’, right? You were so against me when I tried to make a story out of N’s uality, and now you’re saying you don't know.” He stares at his profile long and hard. “I'm not going to stalk N again. What other secrets can he possibly have?”

Ken bends towards him. “Hyukkie, we can do this without hurting him. You want someone else to stalk N instead? Who knows what they’ll do to him just to keep their jobs?”

Hyuk’s expression falters. He can always trust his Ken hyung, right? “We should tell the boss that’s this is a bad idea. Everyone in the industry hates us already. We are really going to be doomed if things go wrong again.”

Ken gazes upon the ceiling, as if he is going to count all the dots on the ceiling. “Our boss is too stupid to listen to anyone. We can try our best for everyone.”

The chair shakes when Hyuk jerks forward. “How? You told me to think twice before I do anything. You said our actions can affect others out of our control. You told me to mind my own business. Why can’t you just let it all go?”

Ken glares back at him. “This is within our control. I regret letting things happened two years ago.”

Hyuk cringes. “We are just paparazzis. There are only so much we can do.”

Ken opens his mouth, looking like he is going to shout, but he doesn’t. “We are paparazzis. We already ruined people.” He rolled his chair away from Hyuk, leaving space between them. “You need time to think about his proposal.”

“So do you,” says Hyuk, spitting out the words.

Taekwondo

The soft foot lands on Hyuk’s stomach hard. He slides across the gym mat and sprawls all over it. He gasps as he tries to lift himself up by the abdomen. Sungjae in combat robe towers over him. He balls up his fists, prepares to strike again. “You learned taekwondo to beat me. This is very embarrassing even to me. You should go back to school, Hyukkie.”

Hyuk scrambles onto his feet. “I need to see N.” He gasps.

Sungjae blocks his chest with his arms. “If you kill me first. And I’m still breathing.”

Hyuk copies his stance. He bends his knees a little before he spins and hooks his foot to hit Sungjae’s chin. He yelps and falls hard on his . “Please, Sungjae hyung-nim. You need to hear me out.”

Sungjae hops into the thin air and lands on both of his feet in a Bruce Lee stunt. He hits Hyuk’s jaw. “You have no right to see N after you ruined his career.” His other fist attack other the soft skin under his chin. “You paparazzis are scums. I almost lost my driver’s license running from all of you.” Hyuk sees stars. His head spins.

Hyuk lifts his arms up to block the next punch. “I told you I didn’t do it.”

Sungjae drives his knee into his stomach. “Your colleague did it, so you’re all in it together.”

Hyuk collapses on all-fours. He holds up his quivering right hand. “Sorry. I’m trying to make things right again.” He wills his hot tears to go away.

Sungjae grabs a handful of Hyuk’s damp hair so he will meet eyes with him. “N passed the point of no return. You can’t go back in time to fix anything. His two years of career are gone because of you ty people.” His voice trembles.

“I didn’t want to go back in time. I want to fix everything now.” His eyes never look away from Sungjae. Hyuk flinches as Sungjae raises his palm again.

“Stop it,” says N. He did not have to scream to penetrate the suspense.

The men on the mat turn to N. Cold stings crawl all over Hyuk’s skin. He begged, fought, and endured for a glimpse of N. Now that his idol stands merely five feet away from him, he wants to dig a hole and hide.

“I can’t believe you got into a fight with a kid,” N says to Sungjae. “Why?”

Sungjae gets on his feet to match with N’s height. “I wanted to beat him up for you. I told you: I don’t have an image to keep.”

“You’re wasting your time. Don’t you have work to do with the new girl group? I’ll deal with him myself.” Sungjae opens his mouth to protest. N stops him: “Go. I don’t have schedule for you to follow me around.”

Hyuk shrinks into himself as if those words are more lethal than Sungjae’s punches. He cannot look at N in the eyes.  

Like a vulture circling a bird corpse, N walks around Hyuk who is sitting on the mat. “Sungjae’s right, but I’d like to punch you myself than let other people do it. You’re lucky that I have an image to keep.” N smirks.

Excuses like “it wasn’t me” dash from Hyuk. He wants to run for the door too if only his legs are stable enough to move.

“Han Sanghyuk. A Journalism grad student from Seoul National University. Had six months of experience at Seoul News, current events. Now a reporter at Scandal News---a subdivision of Seoul News. You have an interesting resume. What do you want?” N squats before him.

“I-I want to apologize.” Hyuk’s voice diminishes, getting lost in N’s aura.

“You already did at my conference.”

“I want to apologize properly. I shouldn't have found excuses for the thing I did.” Hyuk folds his legs underneath his . “Ken hyung said it’s okay to make mistake. I learned my lesson and that's enough. I told him ‘no’; it’s not right until I fix it. I feel so powerless…”

“You are powerless. What can you do about what you did? It's too late.”

Hyuk’s head whips upward. His eyes beckon him closer. “Tell me what I can do to make it up to you. I know I can't give you back your two years, but I'll do everything in my power to make sure you get it.”

N’s laughs are a few notes of staccato. “You’re going to be my slave? Are you going to destroy other people to get I want?”

“Of course not.” Hyuk looks back at him defiantly. “You want to do that?” He frowns.

N’s smile makes his eyes crinkle. He quickly makes his lips a straight line. “I’m so over the life of self-brooding. You should worry about your life. Are you going to be a paparazzi for the rest of your life? Are you going to waste your degree stalking people?”

Hyuk runs out of words to say, so he nods.

N digs into his wallet. He pulls a business card and drops it at his feet. Hyuk picks it up. He looks from the Jellyfish address back to N.

“You probably know where the place is. Contact us. I’m sure we can place you somewhere in the company.”

Hyuk has turned mute. It’s a trap, isn’t it? He pockets the invitation anyway. N betrays no other emotions as he gets up to leave. Hyuk makes no move to stop him either.

A/N: Sorry for the hiatus! After I've been reading the comments that you left me, I just had to revamp some chapters, mostly with Ravi and N. That's why I took a bit time before this update. ><

By the way, I like Hyukkie here. I think he's just adorable all the time. :') And please tell me more what you think so far and how are my edited chapters (3-6)! Clearly, I listen to you guys. ;)

Also, I've been really considering to apply to do a master in Creative Writing (why am I sweating as I type this?). As some of you know I like to tell people to follow their dreams... but when it's my turn I feel extremely nervous. Finger-cross that my grades and my writings are good enough to get me in. :')

If you like this, feel free to sub and upvote.

Hope Spring has came for you! :)

Your dreamer,

suzyelf